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        May 2009
      Editor-in-Chief: Assistant Editor:
      Sarah Holmes Melissa Amarianos

      Music Editor:      Movies Editor:
     Paige Zangoglia     Justine Mann

                                               Marist’s Women’s Rugby T eam

    Literature Editor:     Theatre Editor:     Features
    Jennifer Sommer       Ashleigh Whitfield   7 Top Ten Easy Ways to Go Green By Mary Treuer

                                               11 The Great Foxhunt 20 teams, 150 clues, 12 hours By
                                               Jennifer Sommer

                                               13-14 Marist College
                                               Women’s Rugby One
                                               club sport that trained hard
     Opinion Editor:        Fashion Editor:    and fundraised to make it
      Mary Treuer           Christine Urgola   to Nationals By Amanda

                                               Club Mascot George >>>

                                               15 Marist Fights Back Against Cancer Relay for Life
                                               2009 By Mary Treuer
        Editor:                                20 Dancing Right Off Campus Stand-out performances
                                               make up for lack of diversity at Dance Show By Sarah
     Sarah Dubrule
                            Faculty Advisor    Dubrule
                             Dr. Richard       Backpage: Coolest House on Campus Gartland
                               Grinnell        Commons E3 shows off its stylish uniqueness By Casper

Music                                                        19 -20 An Evening With the Queen of Independent
3 Spring Sounds in the Sun Jack’s Mannequin, Matt            Film Actress Lili Taylor shows and tells how and why “art
Nathanson, and Erin McCarley perform for SPC’s Spring        is bigger than you” By Storm Heitman
Concert By Olivia McMahon
                                                             21 Fashion on Film A look at the high-fashioned stylings of
4 Summer Music Festival: The Revival What a music            Gossip Girl By Justine Mann
                    festival experience is like and
                    where to find one this summer By         Opinion
                    Storm Heitman                            22 Late Night Disaster Jimmy Fallon’s debut on late night
                                                             television can’t compare to Conan O’Brien By Melissa
                         5 Album Reviews A variety of        Amarianos
                         albums to check out over the
                         summer months By Paige              23 Pursuing the Dream (House) and How Priority
                         Zangoglia                           Points Destroyed the Dream Housing selection reveals
                                                             flaws in system By Christie Gorman
                         6 Not for Those Who are Easily
                         Offended Steven Lynch played at     24 The Importance of College Relationships Why
                         the Bardavon for his 3 Balloons     relations with significant others, friends, family, and yourself
                         Tour By Olivia McMahon              are necessary and helfpul By Sarah Briggs

7 No Need for the Binary Code Solo A theorist claims         25 Mike Arteaga’s Health & Fitness Center An extra
there is nothing special about music, nothing important By   $30 a month may be worth it By Christine Urgola
Billy Berard
                                                             26 My Modest Proposal To solve America’s economic
Literature                                                   and obesity problems simultaneously By Mike Cresci
8 Once Upon a Poem... Ten poets compete in a twisted
fairytale themed Poetry Slam
By Jennifer Sommer

9 Writing Beyond College
Creative paths are hard to
pursue successfully but there
is hope for writers By Sarah

10 Book Review Water for
Elephants by Sara Gruen is a
must-read for everyone By
                                                             Photo Credits:
Nick Sweeney
                                                             Cover and 1 c/o Robin Miniter
                                                             Page 1 c/o Melanie Hoffman
Theatre                                                      Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 12, 16, 17, 18, 21, 22, 24, 25, 26 c/o
12 Students Venture Under the Sea To enjoy a
Broadway Musical true to Disney’s childhood masterpiece
                                                             Page 3 c/o Olivia McMahon
By Heather Munnelly
                                                             Page 8 c/o Jennifer Sommer
                                                             Page 9 c/o Sarah Holmes
Movies                                                       Page 11 c/o Amanda Benton
16 Movie Review I Love You, Man pleases with funny           Pages 13 and 14 c/o Robin Miniter
and unique plot but has its flaws By Ashleigh Whitfield      Page 15 c/o Mary Treuer

17 Movie Previews What movies are coming to theatres
near you By Paige Zangoglia                                  Have an opinion on something that was written?
18 The Festivals You’ve Never Heard of and the               Want to write about what music, movies, books or
Movies You Will Smaller and less well-known film festivals   anything else you have an interest in?
offer creativity and entertainment By Justine Mann           Email
                                                             or visit
                                                            Spring Sounds in the Sun
                                                                                                            By Olivia McMahon
                                                             Anatomy and the movie He’s Just Not           audience’s enthusiasm. Such favorites
                                                             That Into You.                                included “Dark Blue”, “I’m Ready”, “Holiday
                                                                 After a brief break, Matt Nathanson       from Real”, “Bruised”, and their older single,
                                                             took the stage to quite a bit of applause     “The Mixed Tape”.
                                                             and cheering. He appeared to have a huge          They also played what would be
                                                             female fan base, and I’m not going to lie –   considered Jack’s Mannequin’s love ballad,
                                                             by the end of his set, I had jumped on the    “MFEO”, which stands for Made For Each
                                                             bandwagon. I don’t know if it was his         Other: an 8 minute song that transitions from
                                                             great stage presence, his sense of humor,     an upbeat supposition of “oh maybe, we were
                                                             or the fact that he wore a tie to a concert   made for each other,” to a sweet intimate, and
                                                             that made him so desirable to all the girls   certainly more heartfelt, storyline. As a treat
                                                             in the crowd. Maybe it was the wedding        to Andrew McMahon’s fans of his former
                                                             ring that made him forbidden. But it could    band, Something Corporate, the band played
                                                             be that his music is extremely good. And      a song the piano man had written when he
                                                             Matt Nathanson is –there’s no easy way        was 16, entitled “Cavanaugh Park”. As if
                                                             around this –a tad sexual. From the jokes     apologizing for never having that Something
                                                             he made, to some of his dance moves,          Corporate reunion tour, he often plays one
                                                             even his music. He was great with the         song that was done by him and his previous
                                                             crowd and interacted with us a lot, singing   band.
    Matt Nathanson                                           Enrique Iglesias when one of his songs            They ended the set with a crowd pleaser,
                                                             sounded similar to that of the Latin pop      the good-feeling “La La Lie”, a dedication of
        It was a good start to the day: the nice       star. He also asked us to sing along to “Jesse’s    sorts to friends, with Andrew showing off his
    weather continued and by one o’clock, people       Girl” when another one of his songs consisted       skills with the harmonica. Many were
    were gathering down by the river, ready for        of the same sort of melody. He played quite a       disappointed, however, when no encore
    the show. Sunday, April 26, was the SPC’s          few popular songs: “Laid” (from the American        ensued. The majority of the crowd left but a
    Spring Concert and I was particularly excited      Wedding soundtrack); “Come On Get Higher,”          few hopefuls lingered around the stage in
    because my band of choice had been selected        which can be heard on the radio now; “To The        hopes of getting a set list or water bottle that
    to play: Jack’s Mannequin.                         Beat of Our Noisy Hearts,” a seriously catchy       touched the lead singer’s lips. In the end, just
        For those not familiar with the band, think    tune; Still, a song which he told everyone “to      two boys remained at the metal bar, yelling for
    California beaches, sunny days and breezy          go home and fondle each other to”; and several      the lead singer to come back out and play one
    warm nights. Often upbeat with fun lyrics and      others I cannot name due to just joining his        more song. It was a great show in general with
    melodies, they’re a great soundtrack for           fanbase.                                            the diversity of the personalities of the
    summer. Front man Andrew McMahon (we                   After quite a bit of waiting, Andrew            performers who played and we can only look
    have the same last name!) has thousands of         McMahon of Jack’s Mannequin took the stage          forward to the Fall concert.
    adoring fans, some that he snagged from Jack’s     accompanied by thunderous applause. At least,
    Mannequin’s first CD, Everything in Transit,       as much as applause can be
    and others that remained loyal after he left his   thunderous when the crowd consists
    first band, Something Corporate.                   of less than 300 people. They began
        Opening for Jack’s Mannequin were two          with “Crashing,” the first song off of
    artists: Erin McCarley and Matt Nathanson. I       their new CD, The Glass Passenger.
    hadn’t heard of either of these people before,     The set continued with several songs
    but apparently Matt Nathanson had paid a           off of their new album such as:
    visit to Marist before. So it was with high        “Spinning”, “Annie Use Your
    hopes for the day that I set off toward the        Telescope”, “The Drop Out”, “Swim”,
    tunnel where tickets were ripped, concert          “Bloodshot”, and of course their
    bracelets were distributed and water bottles       single, “The Resolution”.
    were chucked upon entering for fear that they          Andrew is a hurricane on stage,
    would contain anything but water. College          always moving, despite being
    Activities provided tents to avoid the heat,       anchored by the piano on which he
    free water and food and an emergency tent for      plays, often jumping off his stool and
    those who could potentially become                 knocking it over. He is rarely stationary
    dehydrated.                                        and at some points even jumped up
        Around 2 PM the show began with Erin           onto his piano, stomping on the keys
    McCarley taking the stage. Her music is quite      before jumping off to the great
    good and she had a small but faithful fan base     enjoyment of the crowd.
    in the crowd who weresinging along and                 When Jack’s Mannequin played
    dancing to her songs. She has had the good         old favorites off of their first album
    fortune to have her music featured in several      everyone in the crowd went crazy,
    popular TV shows like Kyle XY and Grey’s           shouting the words so that Andrew
                                                       was barely heard singing over                                               AndrewMcMahon
       Summer Music Festival:
           The Revival                                                                                   By Storm Heitman
    Growing up in Seattle, there was only one     my friends and I treated it as our own version        My only negative Bumbershoot experience
part of the year that I looked more forward to    of the Amish’s Rumspringa, one last wild party    was when I found myself in the middle of a
than Christmas, and that was the summer music     to indulge in the carefree spirit of summer       mosh pit at The Fall of Troy, where some idiot
and arts festival known as Bumbershoot.           before returning to dull months of routine and    decided it would be a great idea to open an
    Every Labor Day weekend, my friends and       responsibility.                                   umbrella, the metal prongs inadvertently
I would dawn our best hemp accessories and            Some of my fondest memories of the event      slicing the skin under my left eye (thankfully I
Birkenstock sandals as we bummed around           include the time I danced soaking wet in the      needed no stitches and the guy later bought
Seattle Center basking in its 74 acres full of    Center’s giant fountain to the sounds of United   me a chocolate dipped strawberry kabob, so
artists of all disciplines and musical genres     States of Electronica and the time I juggled      naturally, all was forgiven).
with different levels of notoriety at a variety   colorful strips of fabric with Boe (this dirty        This summer marks the 40 year anniversary
of unique indoor and outdoor venues.              hippie/sex-offender who has become                of the music festival that started it all,
    A three day pass to Bumbershoot only          somewhat of an icon in the city and who can       Woodstock ’69, and with it comes impressive
cost $80, substantially cheap considering the     be found hallucinating and flashing his           line-ups all over the country as well as the
value of the exposure to new music as well as     genitalia at all of the major streetevents).                  release of Ang Lee’s much
the chance to see several                                                                                       anticipated “Taking Woodstock”
headliners for a significantly                                                                                  which will feature college-favorite
smaller price than it would be to                                                                               comedian Demitri Martin’s first
see them play independently.                                                                                    starring role in a film.
Falling on the last weekend before
the start of the new school year,
Sasquatch                                                                                                      Where: Jersey City, NJ
When: May 23-25                                                                                                Who To See: Beastie Boys,
Where: Quincy, WA (at The                                                                                      Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Vampire
Gorge)                                                                                                         Weekend, MSTRKRFT, The
Who To See: The                                                                                                National, Tool, My Bloody
Decemberists, M.Ward,                                                                                          Valentine, Gogol Bordello,
Passion Pit, Blind Pilot,                                                                                      Arctic Monkeys, Coldplay,
Explosions inthe Sky, Mos                                                                                      MGMT, Mogwai
Def, Natalie Portman’s                                                                                         Cost: $199 (3 day pass)
Shaved Head, Bon Iver.                                                                                         Experience: Four of today’s
Cost: $154.50 (3 day pass)                                                                                     best British bands in a setting
Experience: the best of the                                                                                    with panoramic views of the
west at an award winning amphitheatre             Bonnaroo                                           statue of Liberty, Ellis Island and the
nestled next to the scenic Columbia               When: June 11-14                                   Manhattan skyline.
River. Not to be missed is King Khan &            Where: Manchester, TN
The Shrines (James Brown reincarnated             Who To See: Animal Collective, Bruce               Pitchfork
                                                  Springsteen, Beastie Boys, MGMT,                   When: July 17-19
as a 30 something year old Indian
                                                  Andrew Bird, Band of Horses, TV on the             Where: Chicago, IL
                                                  Radio, Yeah Yeah Yeahs                             Cost: $75 (3 day pass)
                                                  Cost: $249.50 for a three day pass                 Who To See: The Flaming Lips, Yo La
                                                  (ouch!)                                            Tengo, The National, Grizzly Bear, The
When: August 7-9
                                                  Experience: Packing the back of your               Walkmen
Where: Chicago, IL
                                                  pick-up truck with all your closest                Experience: The closest thing our
Who To See: Kings of Leon, The Killers,
                                                  friends, hosing down topless girls, the            generation has to Woodstock. Hosted by
Silversun Pickups, Santigold, Of                                                                     Decider Chicago (an online journal who
Montreal, Lou Reed, Snoop Dog, The                100 acre “entertainment village” including
                                                                                                     has become a leading voice in the realm
Airborne Toxic Event                              a “silent disco”(...I couldn’t make this
                                                                                                     of independent music), Pitchfork is all
Cost: $190 (3 day pass)                           stuff up).
                                                                                                     about the nearly-famous bands you will
Experience: The holy grail of alternative         All Points West
                                                                                                     pay three times as much to see two
rock which was created by Perry Farrell           When: July 31-August 2
                                                                                                     years from now.
(front man of Jane’s Addiction).

                         Album: All I Ever Wanted
                         Artist: Kelly Clarkson
                         Genre: Pop

                         Re-emerging with an album full of catchy
                         sing-a-long worthy tracks, Clarkson
                         provides a list of feel good tracks such as “I
                         Do Not Hook Up” and “I Want You” as
                         well as a fair share of ballads like “Save
                         You” and “If No One Will Listen” that put
                         Clarkson’s signature powerful voice on

                         Artist: Metric
                         Genre: Alt Rock

                         A new reinvented sound for Metric,
                         Fantasies is a wonderfully cohesive album
                         combines catchy synth rock on tracks like
                         “Help I’m Alive”, with raw vocals and lyrics
                         and dance-y beats on tracks like “Stadium
                         Love” and “Gold Guns Girls”.

                         Album: A Shipwreck in the Sand
                         Artist: Silverstein
                         Genre: Rock

                         A dynamic new release, A Shipwreck in the
                         Sand does not disappoint. Starting off the
                         album, “A Great Fire” combines compelling
                         scream breakdowns with a melodic and
                         catchy chorus. The trend continues
                         throughout the album, with tracks displaying
                         emotional and energetic lyrics and melodies.

                         Album:It’s Blitz!-
                         Artist: Yeah Yeah Yeahs
                         Genre: Alt Rock

                         Returning with a very synth-y and
                         electronic sound, It’s Blitz! seems somewhat
                         softer than earlier albums. Although lacking
                         the signature screams and harder rock
                         sounds characteristic of the Yeah Yeah
                         Yeahs, tracks like “Dull Life,” “Shame and
                         Fortune” and “Hysteric” are catchy and fun
                         to listen to.

    By Paige Zangoglia
  Not For Those Who Are
     Easily Offended
    There should be a warning for those not     name is about a man smuggling drugs out        and “Craig”, an ode to Jesus’ evil brother.
familiar with the musical stylings of Stephen   of a foreign country in 3 balloons…well, you   These don’t sound too bad? That’s because
Lynch: Caution –Not for those who are easily    can guess where. The twist at the end? The     they’re some of the tamest songs he has.
offended. Of course, I am not one of these      man is the pilot.                              He has a gift to leave people aghast, and
people so when I heard that he would be             He played many favorites such as           believe me, he does it well.
performing at the Bardavon Opera House, I       “Special Ed”, about his special childhood          But comedy is not the only thing he does
immediately ordered my tickets, anxious to      friend; “Beelz”, a song about a very           well. Lynch starred in the show The Wedding
see this witty and                                                              flamboyant     Singer when it was on Broadway. He has
cutting comedian.                                                               S a t a n ;    amazing vocal range in addition to his
    Now,      I     say                                                         “Pierre”, a    amazing ability to offend. If you get the
“musical stylings”                                                              song      he   chance to see him, and you’re willing to take
because Lynch is not                                                            wrote on a     that risk of being stunned by his gall,
like most comedians                                                             bet about a    definitely get those tickets, you won’t regret
out there. Yes, he’s                                                            French bum     it.
rude, swears too                                                                in New York;
                                                                                                 By Olivia McMahon
much, and makes
jokes that (more often
than not) cross the
line, but he does this
in song! Armed with
his guitar and a friend
or two to accompany
him in his insult
slinging,            he
simultaneously makes
the crowd laugh and
go “ooo!” with disbelief.
    No one can stay mad at this comedic
singing prodigy for long. He has thought of
jokes that have never even grazed the
surface before, so horrible is some of the
subject matter. Lynch goes above and
beyond the ordinary subjects of comedians
and far surpasses those who stick to “red-
neck” jokes. And in that lies his allure: you
are always surprised.
    And Lynch did not disappoint the night
of April 17th at the Bardavon. It was a
packed house, the audience ranging from
high-schoolers to grown adults. He came
out with a new song called “Waiting” and
for fear of negative feedback, I will not
disclose the subject of the song, but for
those familiar with his work, it was right
up his usual alley.
    He just had a new album put out, entitled
3 Balloons. Most of the material he played
at this show was from this new CD but it
was full of his usual antics and surprises.
The song from which the album takes its

    No Need
    for the
    Code solo
                 By Billy Berard
                                                                Top Ten Ways to Go Green
        As a constant listener of “popular” music,                                                     By Mary Treuer
    with years of amateur musicianship to hone
    my ears, I was crushed to see a theorization as
    bleak as Adorno’s. Adorno’s Case Against              10. Bag the paper. Bag the plastic. If you haven’t noticed by now, plenty of
    Popular Music claims there is nothing special         supermarkets have cut down on the amount of plastic and paper bags used in their
    to music, nothing important.                          stores. The more environmentally friendly version, the canvas reusable bag, is
        We like music because our bodies are pro-
                                                          becoming popular in stores. Buy a few to replace plastic and paper bags. Many
    grammed to, not because we are individuals,
    ambitious, lonely or in love. What appeals to         stores will even credit you for each bag!
    our senses is something intrinsic and standard-
    ized, prepackaged for convenience and easy.           9. Turn it off. Often, we find ourselves looking into the windows of many dorm
        Songs in major keys are most popular be-          rooms lit up by the glow of a lamp. Often, such rooms aren’t even being occupied.
    cause our bodies are programmed to enjoy              Turn off the lights and save some electricity!
    such things—the human voice actually har-
    monizes with itself in a major scale so hearing       8. Take advantage of both sides. Instead of printing from your room, wasting
    major keys comforts us just as human interac-         your ink, and using only one side of paper, take advantage of the library printers.
    tion would. If you play a song in a major key
                                                          These printers are defaulted to print on both sides of the page and save paper.
    for an infant who has never heard music, it will
    be happy, a minor key will make it cry.
        This fact almost ruined music for me. The         7. Subtract two wheels. Driving your car may be the “cool” way to get around, but
    mediocre songs I wrote weren’t really original,       it is actually making the atmosphere a lot warmer. Ride a bike to close distances.
    they were just a formula I naturally stumbled         The environment will thank you and your legs will too.
    upon to fulfill some primal need.
        The songs I’ve listened to at every free          6. No need to stay connected. When you aren’t using a charger for a phone,
    moment weren’t masterpieces of emotion, but           laptop, or IPod, there is no reason to keep it plugged into the outlet. Electricity is still
    mathematical equations to appeal to the wid-          being used, without something that needs battery power.
    est range of people. ABABCAB, verse, cho-
    rus, verse, chorus, bridge verse, chorus; this,
    or a close variation, will capture the attention
                                                          5. Drive with company. Carpooling isn’t just one of those fads that faded out after
    and wallets of the population in general. It’s        the energy crisis of the seventies, it’s a good idea. Enjoy bonding time with a friend
    that easy.                                            on a car ride and save gas.
        I’ve tried to listen to the music Adorno
    thinks is acceptable. I can’t do it: it’s abrasive,   4. Be a better buyer. Certain products are made with Mother Earth in mind. Look
    anti-melodic, and if there’s singing it won’t be      at the labels on products and purchase what is most beneficial to the environment.
    pleasant. Just smashing drums and spacey pi-
    ano riffs so abstract that if heard out of context    3. Grow something. Planting a garden or even a few greens puts oxygen in the air
    might be mistaken for AOL dial-up noises. It’s
                                                          and beautifies an outdoor space. If you grow fruits and vegetables, you can really
    work to enjoy.
        This is actually one of Adorno’s key
                                                          “have your cake and eat it too.”
    qualms with “popular music.” It’s so easy that
    it makes you stupid. It makes you stupid and it       2. R-E-C-Y-C-L-E. Recycle. The old song from the hit Nickelodeon show,
    brainwashes you. The only way to break the            Rocko’s Modern Life speaks the truth. Recycling is one of the easiest ways to take
    spell is to challenge yourself with something         care of the environment. And with the amount of recycling bins on the Marist
    strange.                                              Campus, there is really no excuse.
        As hard as I’ve tried, I can’t commit to
    Adorno’s unpopular ideas. I agree with them,          1. Be smart. Stay educated on ways to become more environmentally friendly and
    but I can’t force myself to break from what I         contribute to a healthier planet. Be informed of Green collar jobs, which are
    enjoy naturally. The only positive conclusion
                                                          becoming the careers of the future.
    that I can reach is that maybe it isn’t so bad to
    be human. Maybe we shouldn’t fight it.

Once Upon a Poem...

                                                                                                  By Jennifer Sommer
The Finalists: Olivia McMahon, Pamela Gomez, and Gabrielle Albino
   Once upon a time, in a not so far away        fairytales such as Snow White and Cinderella     accomplished its goal; the event was so
land, there was a group of people who            an R-rating.                                     packed that there weren’t enough seats for
wanted to share their love of the spoken word        “What we really wanted to do was create      all the poetry enthusiasts.
with everyone so they created the Red Fox        a fun atmosphere where anyone could                  During the event ten poets competed to
Poetry Slam. This event was known all                                                             win a one hundred dollar prize and bragging
throughout the land, thanks to some great                                                         rights. They were judged by two faculty
PR and lots of student support. The event                                                         members, Dr. Leah Graham and Colin
was going great until one day a mighty                                                            McCann, and student body President, Steve
                                                     The Literary Arts Society                    Townsend. The ten poets covered
   Okay so maybe the Annual Red Fox                     (LAS) Meets Every                         everything from lost love to infomercials in
Poetry Slam, hosted by the Literary Arts           Wednesday at 9:30 PM in the                    the first round. After this round the judges
Society (LAS), wasn’t created in your                                                             chose five to continue in the competition
typical fairytale fashion but this year’s
                                                   Commuter Lounge, located in                    and then the poets were given fairytale
theme, “Once Upon a Poem…” did give the            the Student Center. Everyone                   themed topics at random and asked to write
event that feel.                                        is Welcome to Join.                       a poem in fifteen minutes.
   For one night the club transformed the                                                              The results were quite entertaining and
Cabaret into a fairytale themed poet’s dream.                                                     after much deliberation the judges deemed
The stage was decorated in various props                                                          Gabrielle Albino, a sophomore and newbie
such as castle walls and a distinctly familiar                                                    to the poetry slam world, the winner.
looking mirror, courtesy of the MCCTA                                                             Second place was given to freshman Olivia
props closet. Guests were given shirts with      come…we didn’t just want English majors,         McMahon and third place was awarded to
a castle on the front and the phrase “Once       we wanted to reach as many people as             Pamela Gomez, a sophomore.
Upon a Poem…” while being both possibly          possible. It’s what art is about right?” Kelly       Overall the slam was a big success so
entertained and mildly offended by MCs Katie     Gallucci, the club’s Secretary told me.          perhaps there is such a thing as happily ever
Warren and James Napoli, who gave beloved           It seems as though the club                   after.

    Writing Beyond College                                                                    By Sarah Holmes
        English writing majors may be laughed            “The MFA or PhD in Creative Writing is         for example, is one of the genres where
    at by their Business and Biomedical peers        the only route to a tenure-track position in       Clements recommends cultivating one’s writ-
    for choosing a path paved with sheets of         writing, but only a small percentage of people     ing skills.
    paper and thousands of pens, rather than         coming through those programs get the cov-             “The trick is that the landscape is chang-
    one cushioned with hefty paychecks and           eted jobs,” Clements said, emphasizing the         ing rapidly, and the more skills you can ob-
    security cubicles. Their parents may kid them    fact that he was one of the lucky ones teach-      tain in online delivery of content/information,
    as of they have chosen an art major; but the     ing.                                               the better prospects you’ll have. That’s the
    truth is, it all comes down to the same thing        While he offered the real deal to us he        kind of challenge that faces anyone inter-
    for any major: what can you do with your         also provided insight into what does allow         ested in a writing or college teaching career
    degree?                                                                                                    these days—adapting to the rapidly
        When you think of writers you think                                                                    changing job markets,” he said.
    of big novelists, screenwriters, poets,                                                                        Getting a job or starting off your
    and similar professions where recogni-                                                                     career path after college is stressful for
    tion is necessary to earn enough money                                                                     everyone but it’s good to know what
    to survive. If you’re willing to rely                                                                      is out there ahead of time. Clements
    solely on your creative prowess to pro-                                                                    said we may be surprised as to find
    vide for yourself, a future in writing is                                                                  that many people in communications,
    dark and filled with potential poverty                                                                     public relations, and science fields
    and madness. As with most fine art stu-                                                                    don’t know how to write and that com-
    dents, it takes hard work, a lot of net-                                                                   panies are willing to pay people to write
    working, and a lot more time to be suc-                                                                    up any number of documents for them.
    cessful.                                                                                                       It’s also good to consider what
        The other creative writing option to                                                                   skills you have learned already and
    consider is teaching, an option for any                                                                    what you can still learn now while the
    major but one that is hard to obtain in                                                                    resources are available to you.
    this field. But writing to make a living                                                                   Clements used skills he learned from
    is not confined to getting on the New                                                                      as early as high school towards his
    York Times’ Best Seller’s List or becom-                                                                   jobs now, his experience with his high
    ing a creative writing professor, in fact,                                                                 school magazine and subsequently his
    there are hundreds of positions where                                                                      college literary magazine gave him the
    writers are wanted.                                                                                        knowledge to publish his own prose
        Writing skills can be applied any-                                                                     poetry journal, Sentence.
    where where communication through                                                                              Publishing a subscription literary
    written documents is key. These prac-                                                                      journal and teaching and coordinating
    tical writing skills are far more likely to                                                                at WCSU provides the food for the
    open up employment opportunities and                                                                       table but his food for his soul has also
    bring in a salary than even your most                                                                      been published in various books Flesh
    Shakespearean poetry.                                                                                      and Wood, Essays Against Ruin, and
        That is why poet, professor, and pub-        writers to continue to do what they love best.     most recently, And How to End It. He is also
    lisher Brian Clements now coordinates a          Basically, write and publish as much as you        featured in two online collections, Ion and
    unique Masters of Fine Arts (MFA) program        can.                                               Burn Whatever Will Burn: A Book of Com-
    at Western Connecticut State which trains            And the more genres you have experience        mon Rituals.
    students in both creative and practical writ-    in the better, both creatively and practically,        His success as a poet, publisher, and pro-
    ing. It offers “Food for the soul and food for   as his program emphasizes. That means write        fessor is a perfect example of what he told
    the table,” the website claims.                  articles for a local or student newspaper, re-     Marist students; you need to network, pub-
        Clements visited Marist in early April to    views for a magazine, submit poetry and fic-       lish, and, most importantly, write, if you want
    talk about writers’ futures after college in     tion to literary magazines, and of course there    to have a future in writing.
    the Henry Hudson room. He offered up a           is always your student-run arts and enter-
    pretty bleak picture to the students gath-       tainment magazine that gets published twice            Dr. Lea Graham’s Poetry Workshop
    ered there who were interested in spreading      a semester.                                        interviewed Brian Clements through a blog
    their creativity to the world, and possibly          It may seem like self-promotion here but       that can be found at
    making a career out of it.                       the truth is the bigger and more diverse your
        Teaching jobs in creative writing are few    portfolio, the more likely you’ll find a job and
    while the number of applicants to these jobs     one that you’ll like. Plus, the only downside         For more information for writer job
    increases exponentially each year when           to trying out a new style of writing is the        outlook go to:
    those who failed to make it from year before     possibility of not liking it but then you don’t    ocos089.htm#emply
    continue to go after the same positions.         have to do it again. Online writing, blogging

 Addicted to Water for Elephants
  Writing?   Book Review                                                              elephant right? By the way, did I mention

                                       By Nick Sweeney
                                                                                      that she only takes commands in Polish?
                                                                                          But if characters aren’t your thing, it’s
 Don’t have the space or                                                              okay. I won’t hold it against you. There’s a
 the time for a workshop                So what happens when you put the              bit of everything for readers. Love and hate,
                                   Great Depression, a travelling circus, and a       life and death, happiness and depression, all
          class?                   thrilling love triangle together? Maybe you        of these themes flow throughout the whole
                                   should find out by reading Water for               novel so smoothly that it might take a second
                                   Elephants, a fast paced yet deep novel             read to understand the book’s full
   Want to be part of a            written by Sara Gruen. The story revolves          complexity. All of these characters are
  growing community of             around the circus life during the Great            intertwined into a thrilling and puzzle filled
                                   Depression. This New York Times bestseller
  writers here at Marist?          is much more than a simple love and life at
                                                                                      plot. I guarantee the first chapter will keep
                                                                                      you on the edge of your seat. In fact, I not
                                   the circus story, but I don’t think it would       only ask of you to read this once, but twice,
                                   be fun if I told you the ending.
Maybe you should stop by                Between the fascinating plot structure
                                                                                      as it will definitely make more sense with
                                                                                      the intense love triangle. Well, a love of sorts
Pen and Paper Addicts, a           and the realistic characters, I found it           I suppose. Maybe the title isn’t as explosive
student created blog for           difficult to put this book down. The readers       as Michael Bay special effects, but the plot
                                   are thrown in the middle of things almost          definitely is.
students who want to read          immediately and have to continue reading               Whether you want something to read
and write poems, essays,           about Jacob, the main character, and his           because of your secret love for life in the
                                   new life at the circus. However, as exciting       circus, or because you want a good book
short fiction and play             as a novel can be, this baby is deep and           about hope during a time when hope was
scenes. One of the most            well written to the extent that it will probably   scarce, just try Water for Elephants. Maybe
                                   be taught in literature classes for years to       you just want to read a story that contains
important parts of becoming        come.                                              an elephant. I don’t know, but I do know
a writer is receiving                   Historically accurate, it’s simple to find    that you should give this novel a shot the
                                   examples of how Sara Gruen did her
feedback and learning how          research; she includes many minute
                                                                                      next time you wander around the bookstore.

to give proper criticism.          descriptions of news that’s happening at the
                                   time and pictures of old circuses as taken
Being part of a writer             during the time of the economic crisis
community helps in                 outlined in the novel. This is only one of
addition to this because           the reasons why this book receives
                                   renowned praise. The other is the fact that
you find people with               one of the main characters is an animal,
common interests and               but we’ll get to that soon enough.
                                        Being a huge fan of characters and their
goals.                             little quirks, this book was just what the
                                   doctor ordered. Between the dwarf veteran
 If you are interested in this,    circus worker Kinko to the ambitiously evil
                                   Uncle Al, all the characters bring something
             email                 to the table and this table is jam packed with       flaws, tension, and imagination. This novel
    for more information.          also contains an interesting romance and
                                   the concept of acting on emotions and
                                   morals with the character conflicts that
  If you want to see the blog,
                                   present themselves as the novel progresses.
      follow the link http://      And then there is Rosie, the elephant. It   wouldn’t be a circus story without an
 The Great Foxhunt By Jennifer Sommer
     Foxhunt is a campus wide scavenger hunt         check that we have everything. Digital cam-       loaded with cans of food (sorry Tom, we still
 that basically comes down to a few stipulations:    era? Check. White board? Check. Doug and          owe you some Spaghetti-Os), take a late night
 20 teams of 5, 20 digital cameras, 150 clues, and   Tom? Check.                                       journey to St. Ann’s (causing some members of
 12 hours. The rules? Don’t separate from your           8:00 AM Nineteen other teams of five are      our team to insist they see ghosts), almost
 team, walk everywhere, four out of five team        packed into the Leo lounge. Excitement buzzes     cause one of our team members to fall into the
 members must be in every picture, and all team      through the air as we wait for everything to      Hudson, play Rock Band, and search high and
 member must pretend to be a red fox in every        start. I want the day to start already. We’ve     low for a bronze fork.
 picture they’re in. Foxhunt may seem a bit ri-      been anticipating this day for weeks.                 8:45 PM The day is almost over as we enter
 diculous and perhaps it is but it’s also one of         8:50 AM Team captains are asked to go to      the Leo Lounge, which has become the base of
 the most fun experiences I’ve ever had.             the front of the lounge where they must lunge     operations for the day, to upload all of our pic-
     The following are the events as they hap-       for their team’s folder.                          tures.
 pened as best as I can remember them (it was a          9:00 AM The staff yells go and I grab the         9:00 PM I’ve never been so exhausted in
 long day):                                          red folder, running outside to find the rest of   my entire life. I’m sitting with the rest of my
     7:00 AM My alarm clock begins to play the       my team.                                          team in the cabaret. We’ve been together for
 familiar sounds of Motion City Soundtrack,              9:10 AM We each take a paper with sheets      over 12 hours now, but we’re still willing to share
 dragging me out of my reverie. It’s a Saturday      of clues on them. We sit down in the grass        a meal together. Everyone told us we’d be at
 morning. I shouldn’t be awake. I should still       and begin to write down answers before run-       each other’s throats by now but that’s not the
 be sleeping. I sigh and roll out of bed.            ning off to the location of the first clue.       case. We’re still excited, talking about our
     7:30 AM I put on the navy blue shirt that           The rest of the day is a blur of running      chances of winning as we eat.
 was given to me by the Foxhunt staff and grab       back and forth across campus, taking hundreds         9:30 PM I’m not sure if its delirium or ex-
 my backpack. I don’t know when I’ll be return-      of pictures, and receiving random text mes-       cess adrenaline but Erin, Joe, and I can’t stop
 ing to my dorm again so I’ve packed it full of      sages from the Foxhunt staff signaling team       laughing as we walk back listening to Tom and
 supplies: snacks, water, a digital camera,          challenges such as who can collect the most       Doug complain about how much their feet hurt
 sweatshirt, USB cable, and a marker.                perishable food or “Name that Tune”.              as they hobble along behind us.
     7:45 AM I meet the four other crazy people          We run after a tour group to take a picture       We still don’t know who the winners are
 who agreed to go on this adventure with me in       with them, find license plates from every state   but despite that fact we’re already talking about
 the middle of the Gartland green. We double         possible, run across campus with backpacks        next year.

 Students Venture Under the Sea
                                                     By Heather Munnelly
     Just off Broadway, in the middle of Time        love on land. The Broadway show holds true        the swimming sea creatures, including
Square, a small playhouse is bringing                to the Disney storyline, with a few               Flounder and the mermaids, swim across the
imaginations to life.                                unnoticeable differences. It accurately           stage in disguised roller skates. The mermaids’
     Swimming mermaids, handsome princes,            portrays everything The Little Mermaid stands     tails are made of a flexible spring, which moves
and evil sea witches all come together in one        for, and the lessons it reveals.                  through the water like you would expect a
incredible show. It’s no wonder why everyone              Marist students who attended the             mermaid’s tail to do. At one point, Ursula’s
is talking about The Little Mermaid. When most       Saturday matinee of the show last month           octopus-like tentacles expand across the entire
people hear this title, they usually picture an      observed stunning performances. The cast          stage to dramatize her power and the sinister
animated Walt Disney film with an audience of        consisted of Ariel, played by Sierra Boggess,     atmosphere of her cave. Also, when Ariel and
5 to 12 year olds. However, The Little Mermaid       Prince Eric, played by Sean Palmer, Flounder,     Prince Eric are making their way to the surface,
on Broadway is a show to be seen by everyone.        played by Trevor Braum, and Sebastian,            Eric is lifted up by an undetectable chord while
In line, you will find people from ages one to       Triton, and Scuttle played by Rodrigo Douglas     the backdrop changes and Ariel swims from
ninety one anxiously awaiting the show. Inside       Jr., Norm Lewis, and Korbich respectively.        the stage. This makes for a really cool effect
the theatre, there is not a bad seat in the house,   Though all of these actors were great in their    from the audience’s perspective. Throughout
because the characters are constantly moving         rolls, one character who truly stood out was      the show, huge, sparkling columns reflect light
and surprising you. From the characters, to the      Faith Prince as Ursula. Her voice is powerful     and color to enhance the settings. The sets
costumes, to the amazing moving set design,          and perfectly tuned. She plays her character      are changed quickly and efficiently between
The Little Mermaid should definitely be high         so well that the audience can’t help but be a     scenes without distracting from the show, and
priority for any Broadway lover.                     little afraid of her, even while she takes her    the costumes in every scene are appropriate
     Everyone knows the story of Ariel the           final bow. Braum is, by far, one of the most      and creative. Every scene has a life like, but
mermaid, one of seven daughters of King              adorable little boys to ever set foot on          still majestic and surreal background that
Triton, King of the sea. They live together in a     Broadway. He is the perfect young actor for       brings the show to an entirely new level than
beautiful, oceanic kingdom with many other           the nervous, yellow fish he plays. As well,       the movie.
pleasant sea creatures. Unfortunately, this life     Douglas Jr. does a great job embodying the             The costumes, characters, and incredible
is unfulfilling for Ariel, who yearns for human      character of Sebastian, a high strung crab        set design make The Little Mermaid a must-
legs and adventure. After disobeying her father      whose job is to assist Triton and keep Ariel      see for all Broadway fans. From Ariel and her
and going to the surface several times, she          out of trouble. Not one of the actors was a       prince, to Sebastian and Ursula, all the
realizes she wants to be with Prince Eric, whom      disappointment.                                   characters will delight you. The set designs
she has seen from afar, and goes to see Ursula,           The innovative costumes and set designs      are constantly moving to excite the audience,
the Sea Witch. In her dark lair, Ursula tricks       make the show more intriguing for viewers than    and the story line stays true to that of the
Ariel into signing away her beautiful voice until    the original Walt Disney video. The show          original Walt Disney film. There are many other
Eric kisses her. Unfortunately, if this does not     begins with an enormous boat, swaying in the      aspects of the show that make it one not to be
happen in three days, she will remain voiceless      current of the fake waves below. Prince Eric      missed, but the only way to truly grasp the
and become one of Ursula’s “poor unfortunate         and his crew are aboard, singing and talking in   enormity of the show’s success is to take a
souls.” Ariel experiences many ups and downs         appropriate costumes. The next scene moves        road trip down to New York City’s theatre
in her journey, but after a little twist, she is     under the sea with Ariel and her friends. All     district and check it out for yourself.
given her father’s blessing to be with her true
     Marist College
                                                                                      is already packed.     80 degree Florida heat can feel as we run laps
                                                                                      We pick up             around a lake we’re convinced is populated by
                                                                                      t r a v e l i n g      crocodiles. We’re not worried we boast, ‘cause
                                                                                      companions as we       we’re quite agile. In addition to the hot sun
                                                                                      make our way to        and the impending emergence of the feared
                                                                                      the Diner for          crocs, the Florida grass was not welcoming as
                                                                                      “breakfast”.           it tore at our skin determined to leave us scarred
                                                                                      4:00am While           and bleeding before practice was over.
                                                                                      waiting for the
                                                                                      bus, we discover       Friday 9:00am. After almost a full night’s sleep,
                                                                                      just how many          we’re up and ready and at the field. We must
                                                                                      rugby players it       look like an army as we run in two even lines in
                                                                                      actually takes to      our matching red shirts and black shorts. The
                                                                                      get 20 uniforms        tension can be felt. Excitement hangs in the air
                                                                                      and 6 rugby balls      like static. We are the underdogs: The number
                                                                                      into our carry-ons.    16 team from nowhere, New York ready to take
         Senior Captain Andrea Hart and Lacey Mendillo                                7:15am Check-in        on the number one team in the U.S. and the
                                                                                      and security at the    defending National Champs. No one expects
          What do you get when you take a motley          airport          goes
     crew of 36 young women, a few pregnant

                                                          relatively smoothly
     footballs, lots of mud, even more bruises, and       for 36 over-tired and
     one talking skeleton mascot aptly named              over-excited college
     George? Only the sweetest club sport on              students operating
     campus. Alright - so maybe we’re a bit biased.       on an average of
     But as a member of the Marist College Women’s        about 2 hours of
     Rugby Team, the past year has been a whirlwind       sleep … especially
     of passion, ferocity, and heart.                     considering one of
          This past September we moved up from                                                               anything less than a massacre. Except for us.
                                                          our carry-ons is a 3-foot skeleton, our mascot     We’re ready; and we’re confident as we run
     Division III to Divison II after a successful 2007   named George. 10:00am. Some hours of
     season. My 35 talented, dedicated, and basically                                                        the flash lines we know by heart, as we make
                                                          cramped sleep later, we emerge, hungry and         passes we’ve been practicing for months, as
     all-around amazing teammates and I continued         hot in the Orlando Airport. In a sort of reverse
     this streak through our fall 2008 season as we                                                          we set into the scrum like pros. We’re ready for
                                                          Cool Runnings tribute, we all change to ready      this. 9:50am. Ten minutes till game time.
     went undefeated, leaving most opponents              ourselves for the new “extreme” 80-something
     scoreless. Led by alumnae Maren Milliard and                                                            Adrenaline is pumping as we circle up for our
                                                          degree heat. 4:00pm We learn just how hot          pre-game traditions. Anyone in a 10 mile radius
     Danielle Hundt, we then went on to conquer
     the Northeast for the first time in Marist
     College history.
          In November, we travelled to Maine via
     the most indirect course possible (Rhode
     Island anyone?) in the hopes of making a
     statement to the rugby world at the Division
     II Northeast Championships. There we
     suffered their first loss of the season in a tough
     game against Stonehill which ended with a
     very close score of 15 – 7. We fought back
     through the rest of the tournament to earn the
     second seed in the Northeast and 16th seed in
     the nation. This is how we found ourselves
     five months later, on April 17th, smack-dab in
     the middle of Florida ready to face off for the
     title of National Champions.

     Thursday, April 16th - 2:42am. Alarm. Damn;
     those 2 hours went fast. Why did we even
     bother going to bed? Good thing everything

now knows we’re excited. 10:00am. Kick-off.
                                                     national stage. 11:40am Half-time finds us              However, we did play spectacularly and
Kick-off for the game of our young lives. Kick-
                                                     ahead by 20 points over the team that was               cohesively as a team and even by winning one
off for the game we’ve been practicing for,
                                                     seeded #8, and we are in no way ready to stop           game, we did what a lot of people doubted we
studying for, and talking about for the last four
                                                     there. We enter the second half out for blood,          could do – we were the ultimate underdog and
months. The next 80 minutes passes in a blur
                                                     determined to run faster, communicate better,           we came home with solid win against a very
of running, tackling, rucking, scoring, stripping,
                                                     tackle harder, and score more than the other            talented team, and greatly improved our national
scrumming, and just flat out playing the best
                                                                   team - show what Marist                   ranking. Also, many coaches and spectators
                                                                   Women’s Rugby is really made              have said we deserved to go to California and

                                                                   of. 12:30 Final Score: Marist 39          that we got jipped by having to play Ship in the
                                                                   – Wayne State 0. Success. Now             first round – but it is best not to dwell on that
                                                                   we can spend the rest of the              too long, lest the frustration mount. It is good
                                                                   glorious day soaking our aches            enough to know that our efforts were
                                                                   in the hot tub, eating our weight         recognized.
                                                                   in carbs, and showing off our
                                                                   new lovely bruises at either the          Tuesday 5:00pm Watch out world. We’re
rugby any of us have ever played or seen
                                                     beach or the pool side.                                 already training for next year.
played. 11:30 The final whistle sounds, and
the final score is 25-5; Shippensburg wins. But
                                                     Sunday 3:20am Let me tell you, there’s no
we have nothing to hang our heads about; we
played solid rugby. We lost by only 20 points,
                                                     better way to celebrate playing the two hardest
                                                     games of your life than waking up bright and
                                                                                                             By Amanda Benton
while everyone who is anyone in rugby had
                                                     early the next morning for a 4 o’clock departure.
predicted a loss of 50 points or more. We’re
                                                     We drag our weary bodies from the hotel to the
disappointed yes, but there is always tomorrow.
                                                     bus and from the bus to airport just barely in
                                                     time to catch our 6:20 flight from Orlando.
Saturday 10:00. Once again we find ourselves
                                                     7:51am we land in Georgia and pass out on the
on the rugby field, though this time a good
                                                     airport floor. Since we’re all still school spirited,
deal more bruised, scratched, sore, and if
                                                     I wonder if other airport patrons can pick out
possible, more tired, than the previous day.
                                                     just how many ruggers are curled up amongst
Proud of who we are, and knowing we are better
                                                     the ginormous, and slightly obnoxious, pile of
than everyone is willing to give us credit for,
                                                     bags. 11:06am Somewhat caught up on sleep,
we prepare for the game with a new intensity –
                                                     we arrive at LaGuardia, where we board a bus.
we will not be going home with two losses.
                                                     The two hour drive back to Marist gives us
10:55 As the pre-game traditions come to a
                                                     ample time to reflect on the weekend. Obviously,
close, we acknowledge that this is it; this is
                                                     we did not accomplish our main goal – we’re
why we’re in Florida – to play rugby not only
                                                     not going to California to play in the Final Four.
to win, but to leave a lasting impression on the

  Nationals                                                                                                   Senior Captain Jess “J.P.” Peterson
     Marist Fights Back Against Cancer:

     Relay for Life 2009                                                                                        By Mary Treuer
     Marist hosted its third annual Relay for Life       Marist added its own touches to relay by      entertainment and provided musical motivation
 Eventon Friday, April 17th, in order to raise       holding the event in view of the spectacular      for the participants walking many laps around
 money for the American Cancer Society. Over         river sunset by setting up a track around the     the track.One of the most meaningful parts of
 758 people on 72 different teams participated       rotunda for the participants to walk. The first   the night was the luminaria ceremony. During
 in the event in order to raise thousands of dol-    lap was a meaningful initiation for the event     this ceremony, Marist honored the survivors,
 lars to fight cancer. The top fund-raising teams    because it honored cancer survivors. Survi-       those currently fighting cancer, and those who
 were the Supertonics, Alpha Sigma Tau, Kappa        vors walked around the track holding flags        had lost their lives to the disease. The beauti-
 Kappa Gamma, Sigma Sigma Sigma, and Team            that stated relay’s motto, “Celebrate,” “Re-      ful luminaria spelled the words “HOPE” and
 Taylor. The event wasn’t just about raising         member,” and, “Fight Back,” in order to sym-      “CURE,” lighting up the campus green. The
 money, but also about team spirit. Teams set        bolize hope for a cure. Will Kaiser, a survivor   ceremony gave the teams a chance to take a
 up personalized tents, made homemade t-             who walked the opening laugh says, “As a          break from the fast-paced and upbeat mood of
 shirts, and shared meals in order to come to-       survivor it was very moving to see all the        the night and take the time to remember the
 gether to fight cancer. The teams Kappa Kappa       people who came out to support cancer re-         reason they were really there.
 Gamma and Sigma Sigma Sigma were awarded            search. Also I think it shows the students just       The twelve-hour event was long and many
 for having the most team spirit.                    how many people have or had cancer. I’d say       team members did not stay the entire time.
     Relay for Life began in Washington with a       there were at least 5 of us at the relay who      Those who did stay, however, found it to be
 doctor who ran 24 hours around a track in or-       were survivors. This helped to put a face to      well worth it. Member of Kappa Kappa Gamma,
 der to raise awareness and support for the          the cause that we walked for”. Students watch-    Kristina Gray, said, “I did it because my
 American Cancer Society. Although now nor-          ing the opening ceremony and recognizing          grandma died of lung cancer and I wanted to
 mally just a twelve hour event, relay continues     the survivors who walked felt that this first     support the cause, so I stayed all night. It was
 to affect people’s lives. Today, people from all    lap was very powerful.                            also a lot of fun”. Like Gray, some chose to
 over the world take part in Relay for life, as          After the honorary first lap the night went   stay all night, while other walked only a few
 each community gathers to honor, celebrate,         on with barbeques, team games, a showing of       laps, but each lap and each donation certainly
 and remember those whose lives where and            the movie, Heavyweights, and a scavenger          made a difference. Marist hopes to continue
 are affected by cancer.                             hunt for those involved in Greek life. There      Relay for Life every year, never giving up the
                                                     was also a disc jockey, which added to the        fight until there is a cure.
    I Love You, Man, a movie directed by John        next verbal mistake, which includes any accents           While it takes time for the audience to
Hamburg, tells a new kind of love story and          that will ultimately sounds like a leprechaun.        understand exactly why someone as slick and
gives people a reason to call each other, “Totes         Segel’s cool, yet lonely character is what        cool as Sydney would bother with the awkward
Magotes.”                                            the audience has waited for throughout the            prude that is Peter, they eventually realize that
    Paul Rudd (Role Models) plays Peter              beginning of the film. He effortlessly portrays       they do need each other.
Klaven, a recently engaged man who realizes          Sydney as the typical bachelor who has been               Even though the pace of the movie picked
he has no male friends                                                                                                             up once Sydney entered
for his wedding party.                                                                                                             the picture, it dragged
He enlists the help of his                                                                                                         for quite some time while
family and on-line                                                                                                                 Peter met with other male
“friend finders” to solve                                                                                                          prospects. In a way, this
his dilemma, but is                                                                                                                made Peter’s desperation
unsuccessful until he                                                                                                              more apparent and
meets Sydney, played                                                                                                               Sydney’s appearance
by      Jason       Segel                                                                                                          more welcomed, but the
(Forgetting Sarah                                                                                                                  audience has to sit
Marshall). The two hit                                                                                                             through several failed
it off immediately and                                                                                                             attempts that become
begin their bromance.                                                                                                              monotonous after a
    Peter begins to shed                                                                                                           while.
his closed off, inward                                                                                                                 One of Peter’s hang
personality and has fun                                                                                                            out sessions turns out
for the first time in the                                                                                                          to be an actual date with
film. However, while                                                                                                               a gay man. While the
Peter and Sydney                                                                                                                   homosexual undertones
develop their new                                                                                                                  of the movie were
friendship, his fiancée,                                                                                                           apparent,            this
Zooey, played by                                                                                                                   character’s flamboyance
Rashida Jones (The                                                                                                                 and mood swings were
Office), begins to feel                                                                                                            over the top and
neglected and he is                                                                                                                bordered on offensive.
forced to make a choice                                                                                                                Likewise, Jones’
between the love of his                                                                                                            character       portrays
life and the woman he                                                                                                              women in a negative
wants to marry.                                                                                                                    light. Her character
    I Love You, Man                                                                                                                starts out as being very
presents a plot that has                                                                                                           supportive of Peter and
not been seen before.                                                                                                              Sydney’s             new
Rudd creates a dorky                                                                                                               friendship, but she
character who is too                                                                                                               grows into a jealous
feminine and nice to be                                                                                                            woman who forces him
friends with the                                                                                                                   to make a choice. She
stereotypical macho                                                                                                                spends the movie
men that surround him.                                                                                                             discussing her sex life to
His attempts to play it                                                                                                            her girlfriends, but is
cool fail every time, but                                                                                                          angered by the fact that
his failures are what                                                                                                              Peter tells Sydney the
gives the film its major                                                                                                           same types of stories.
comedic elements.                                                                                                                      Eventually, these
    Peter leaves a                                                                                                                 characters       redeem
pathetic voice mail on                                                                                                             themselves and repent
Sydney’s          phone,                                                                                                           for their actions, but
essentially asking him                                                                                                             their behavior mid-film

                                                                           By Ashleigh Whitfield
on a date, but rambles                                                                                                             does nothing to improve
for several minutes,                                                                                                               views of women or gay
makes up words and                                                                                                                 men.
ultimately makes a fool of himself. Early on in      abandoned by his married friends and is                   Despite some of the flaws in I Love You,
their relationship, Peter attempts to quickly give   practically as desperate for male friends as Peter.   Man, it does turn out to be a hysterical movie.
Sydney a nickname, and comes up with                 He teaches Peter how to be comfortable with           Rudd and Segel create characters with
“Joben.” These small details explain his failure     himself and the two bond over exposing sexual         eccentricities that drive the plot. The audience
at having male friends at the beginning of the       secrets, listening to Rush and “slappin’ da           looks for their minor quirks, and becomes
movie and the audience eagerly anticipates his       bass.”                                                entranced by Rudd’s attempt to, “find some
                                                                                                           f***ing friends.”
     Angels & Demons- May 15
                                                                                                      By Paige Zangoglia
     Tom Hanks returns as Robert Langdon in
     the sequel to the breakthrough film The
     Davinci Code. Here, Langdon finds himself
     on an action packed mission to uncover                Away We Go-June 12
     and stop the powerful Illuminati, an
     underground organization that threatens               A young couple, played by John Krasinski
     the existence of the Catholic Church with a           and Maya Rudolph, search the country for
     deadly time bomb.                                     a place to truly call “home” and settle
                                                           down before the birth of their child.
                                                           Along the way, they reconnect with old       The Taking of Pelham 123- June 12
                                                           friends and family in this heartfelt
                                                           comedy.                                      In this film, New York City subway
                                                                                                        dispatcher Walter Garber (Denzel
                                                                                                        Washington) finds himself up against
                                                                                                        criminal mastermind Ryder (John Travolta)
                                                                                                        and his team of four when they hijack a
                                                                                                        subway train for ransom. When Ryder
                                                                                                        threatens to start killing passengers, Garber
                                                                                                        engages in a battle to save them.

                                          Funny People- July 31

                                          In another film by Judd Apatow,
                                          Adam Sandler plays successful
                                          comedian George Simmons, who
                                          learns that he is approaching death
                                          due to an incurable illness. In his
                                          desire to make the most of his time
                                          left, he befriends rookie comedian
                                          Ira played by Seth Rogan, and learns
                                          to live in the moment.

    The Festivals You’ve Never
 Heard of and the Movies You Will
     By Justine Mann                                The Faux Film Festival                              being left for dead, Laura crawls from the sewer
                                                                                                        with no memory at all. She is stalked by a man
    Every year we see previews boasting awards          These films are often short but are truly       in the shadows as she attempts to reach help.
from film festivals we’ve never heard of. We        independent. The annual festival lives in           These and more spine tingling features and
flock to the indie section of our video stores      Portland Oregon but most films show up on           shorts await you at the Bourne Festival.
and rent the entire Sundance section and try to Hands are Bananas was a 2007
decide which one will make a big splash in the      entry by Nick Andrews that erupted into one         Tropfest Short Film Festival
theatres. This year it’s time to branch out and     of the most viewed and discussed clips on-
explore some of the more successful, albeit off     line. It wasn’t even voted the best on at the           Often noted as the largest short film festival
the beaten track, festivals around the world.       festival!                                           in the world this fest started as nothing but a
Some are a little strange and others fill a                                                             movie screening night at the local Tropicana
cinematic void but they have all become a force     The Pocket Film Festival                            Café. Now it has more then 150,000 visitors a
in their field.                                                                                         night and gets international buzz. Tropfest
                                                        Calling all hi-tech artists… the PFF features   keeps things interesting by requiring filmmakers
Slamdance Film Festival                             only films made using cell phone camera.            to reference the TSI, Tropfest Signature Item,
                                                    Putting a new cap on low budget many artists        in their submission. Past TSIs have been
    While it may not be featured on Entourage       have used this Paris institution as a chance to     pickles, chopsticks and muffins. Supposedly
any time soon, the Slamdance Film Festival is       test out a new medium. This ‘sensible’ festival     this is an inspiration technique to keep the
the coolest Independent Film Festival around.       is based on the idea that you always have your      festival fresh.
In a bold move the festival takes place in Park     phone with you, so you’ll never miss that
City, Utah at the same time as Sundance. In         perfect French New Wave shot. Perhaps Jean-         Amsterdam Fantastic Film Festival
true indie fashion Slamdance accepts only films     Luc Godard will give the 2010 festival a shot?
made by nobodies with next to no money                                                                      Everything is always fantastic in
(studio speak for under one million).               Bourne to Die Horror Film Festival                  Amsterdam. Showing off a lot of gore from the
    It’s the festival “by filmmakers for                                                                UK and sci-fi from everywhere else (in their
filmmakers” and it’s good at its game. Recent           Hopping across the pond to Dorset UK you        Brave New World Programme) the festival has
turn outs have included Mad Hot Ballroom,           can find a small festival with big screams.         shown classic such as the newly released
which received the highest price ever for a full-   Focusing on the truly disturbing films, Bourne’s    Haunting in Connecticut. Another haunting
length documentary, Napoleon Dynamite and           features all pull storyline from the deepest        tale, 100 Feet, stars Famke Janssen and Ed
Memento.                                            darkest fears of mankind. Last festival, the        Westwick. Janssen plays a prisoner on house
    Winners this year include How to Be with        found footage film Home Movie carefully             arrest after serving seven years in prison for
surprise star Rob Pattinson before he became a      presented the home videos of a family after a       killing her abusive husband. Not only does she
vampire. Pattinson goes back to his rock star       recent move. The two 10-year old twin boys          now find herself stalked by his ex-partner but
beginnings in this film about a wanna-be lyricist   slowly develop as the embodiment of pure evil       she is haunted by her husband’s vengeful spirit
and his budding friendship with a self-help         as their sweet parents also begin to see the        while she moves within a 100-foot radius. This
guru.                                               truth. Shadowland was also featured and has         program lines up a lot of movies that are sure
                                                    won awards at festivals the globe over. After       to make a big splash in the cinemas.

     An Evening with the Queen of
           Independent Film:
         Actress Lili Taylor
          insight into her craft and career during a mock Inside The Actor’s Studio held in the Nelly Goletti Theatre
        I believe the first words to escape my    promotions for the event were so quick to     around scene stealing roles in indie films
     mouth when I first heard that Lili Taylor    mention that her latest project, Public       such as I Shot Andy Warhol, Girls Town,
     would be coming to Marist were “shut the     Enemies, stars the one and only Johnny        and a film she seemed the most proud of-
     F*** up!” I quickly realized however, that   Depp.                                         Arizona Dream (which was barely released
     my enthusiasm about her forthcoming visit       After meeting the ever so humble actress   in the US but was apparently a huge hit in
     was not to be matched by anyone else on      herself, I’m certain that she would not be    France and curiously enough it also starred
     campus. The majority of Marist students      surprised nor offended by this as she         the one and only Johnny Depp.)
     would fail to recognize her face let alone   casually made statements such as “art is          Although she prefers small art-house
     her line of work which is probably why the   bigger than you.” She has shaped her career   films over the typical overhyped
                                                                                                blockbuster, It would be a shame to place

     By Storm Heitman

the actress in the same breed as indie-          before laughing at her own folly and courtly        to shoot a low budget indie film, a decision
princess Parker Posey, for the appeal of         fetching it back for them (seriously, the           people thought her crazy for making . The
Taylor stems from the fact that she is in a      woman doesn’t have a single disingenuous            moral of the story was to ignore the general
classification all of her own. Most of my        bone in her body).The camera must add               consensus that in Hollywood “if you don’t
exposure to Taylor came from her turn on         serious height along with weight because the        do than you won’t work.” She made her
HBO’s Six Feet Under, perhaps the greatest       Lili Taylor in front of my eyes was tinier than     resentment of the LA scene clear, saying that
television series ever made. Watching her in     an Olson twin. Professor Tommy Zurhellen            it is “too business oriented” and working
that show, I came to appreciate the acute        delivered a proper introduction/James Lipton        there “one can become easily disillusioned.”
honesty to which she brings to a role. Her       impersonation before the actress joined him         She much prefers to “stay grounded,” and
performances echo simultaneously with an         and Dr Lea Graham on stage to begin the             only signs on to a film when the role has
intensity and vulnerability, traits which seem   discussion.                                         meaning for her to which she said “is hard
to be paralleled by the soft, yet husky sound        Among the many topics covered was               to articulate, but I get a feeling.”
of her voice. For all these reasons and more     advice that she would give to young folks               So how exactly does she stay grounded
did I anxiously arrive at the Nelly Goletti an   trying to make it in the industry, one she          as an artist? For one, she does charity work
hour before she was scheduled to speak.          described as having “gotten uglier the last         such as performing in Greek theatre for Iraq
    Sitting in the theatre, I was stupidly       10 years.” Her advice was to hold off LA            veterans suffering PTSD. And when the
overwhelmed by the idea that this woman          and New York and to start off in a small            movie making machine becomes all too
whose career I respected immensely would         enough town that you can get an agent and           much for her to handle, she turns to poetry
soon to be standing upon the very same stage     plenty of work, a plan that worked out well         and reminds herself that as an artist, what
my feet had once tread on, as if that linked     enough for her.                                     she does is “bigger than me...I must honor,
us together in some intimate way. I thought          Although she now considers herself a full       follow it, not worry when it gets hard.”
her to be of a modest caliber from the type      blown New Yorker, she grew up in Chicago                A reception immediately followed the
of projects she chose to work on, but for        and studied at the studio of Joyce Piven            discussion, and Lili was kind enough to stick
some odd reason I still expected her to make     (mother to actor Jeremy Piven-that guy who          around to answer questions from awkward
a grandiose celebrity entrance via helicopter    is famous for being a grade A tool both on          people like me who stared at her in awe, but
(maybe because she was once in a movie           and off the screen). From there, the                were too nervous to approach. I mustered
with Julia Roberts and in my head that           discussion moved towards the personal               up the courage to ask for a photo with her
automatically entitles a person to three body    management of her career and in particular          and she so kindly obliged. I quickly tried to
guards and a permanently reserved suite at       the choices she’s had to make between taking        think of something witty to say as a kiss off
the Chateu Marmont).                             roles in either commercial or independent           but only managed to come up with “I can’t
    Instead, the movie star stumbled into the    films.                                              wait to see Public Enemies!” to which she
row of seats directly behind me and knocked          She told a story about a time she turned        ever so demurely responded, “thanks! yeah
someone’s cell phone out of their hands          down a role in a summer blockbuster in order        I make a brief little cameo in that…”

 Dancing Right Off MaRist caMpus
    The dance shows put on by the Marist             But the songs that were picked and the              The second act also tapped off on a strong
Dance Club generally bring in a large crowd      dances that went along with them weren’t            foot with Cassandra Palummo’s performance
of enthusiastic viewers wanting to see their     really up to the audience members, anyway,          of “We Are Broken”. The marionette theme
friends or family members perform. It wasn’t     and I suppose that’s how some things need to        was stylish as well as entertaining, with dark
any different April 4th or 5th when Marist       be. The choreographers did an interesting job       costumes and dollish face paint adding to the
Dance Club presented their spring                picking the combinations that they did, and         overall mood. On that note, Heather Staats
performance, “I Like The Way You Move”.          like last semester, there were some crowd           and Kelly Mottolese’s “Reason Why” was
Like last semester, the dancers put on the       favorites. The fall semester’s biggie was the       chock full of mood, with the dancers in simple
show at the FDR High School, which is just a     dance that had a Dark Knight theme, giving          costumes giving a genuine lyrical
lovely fifteen minute bus ride away from the     the performance a life of it’s own, transforming    interpretation of the song to the audience.
Marist Campus. The bus ride is a huge treat, I   the dancers in to characters and setting a mood     There was a distinct lack of just going through
think.                                           that transcended just the song choice. This         the motions in this piece, instead seeming as
    With over 500 members, you’d naturally       semester, I felt like the biggie was “The           if all of the dancers were expressing a bit of
expect a wide range of diversity from the        Experiment,” choreographed by Daniel Conner         themselves in their movements.
Marist Dance Club, and indeed there was          and Carolina Vasquez and put on just at the             Over all, the shows put on by the Marist
diversity – just so long as there were still a   end of the first act. The dancers went through      Dance Club are always entertaining, and
few songs chosen from Britney Spears’s           two costumes, one lab coat-oriented and the         provide an enjoyable alternative to end-of-the-
amazing repertoire, anyway. I’m not trying to    other, after they shed their geeky ensemble,        semester work. If you haven’t gone to one
say I was disappointed, but my dream of          delightfully suave. As with the Dark Knight         yet, I’d seriously suggest checking it out next
seeing a group of people do interpretive dance   piece, there were evidently two main                time it comes around. Go and see what your
to something like Talking Head’s “Psycho         characters, with the rest of the dancers adding     fellow students are up to!
Killer” was not quite recognized this time       to their miniature story and giving real life and
around (hint: suggestion box?).                  energy to the entire bit.
                                                                                                           By Sarah Dubrule
 f                          The gossips girls on the hit CW show        and no tee shirts rule when dressing like
                       have reinvented style for high schoolers.        Blair. Unfortunately, this means no Marist
                       Versace, Marc Jacobs and Zac Posen all           hoodies either! Blair’s in control of her

                       appear on the show as regularly as yellow        world and her hair so take heed before
                       cabs and street vendors and the character’s      entering that space bubble.
                       personalities feed off what they’re wearing          Poor little J.(Jenny) After changing from
                       today.                                           the girl who wants to be old Blair to the girl

                            Jenny Humphrey’s wearing black eye          that is old Serena she’s all tuckered out for
                       kohl and a leather jacket, you’d better watch    the new set of storylines. Luckily her
                       out. Serena Van Der Woodsen slips on a           fashion keeps going with mini dresses,
                       little party dress? You know Georgina            strappy tanks and ever changing hair. Back

                       Sparks is going to be in the next episode.       when J was a girl on the step she went for
                            Supposedly Serena’s style reflects that     bright color blocks, like her yellow trench
                       of drug addicted model Kate Moss. From           or that infamous purple Valentino bag. Her
                       one blonde to another passes the torch of        endless hat collection has gone a bit retro

                       so-called boho chic (by Gucci). However,         since she went blonder and choppier with
                       the poor girl is a bit torn between her love     her bad girl look. She kept the plaid but
                       for the dangerous life and her homey upper       ditched the pom poms when applying her
                       east-side penthouse. Pearls and a Chanel will    hat style to her micro-mini dresses. No

                       always make a boho jersey dress more             more trying to fit in! This girl does nothing
                       appropriate for a bonding brunch with the        but stand out. Bye-bye funshine Jenny hello
                       family. Of course once that’s done it’s all      all gray and black wardrobe. Good thing
                       about the clubs and the chunks accessories.      she lightened the hair or she’d be easy to

                       Get her look by adding bangles, necklaces        miss this season.
                       and more necklaces to your polished                  Vanessa Abrams is the Gossip Girl link
                       ensemble.                                        to the normal fashion world. As a film hipster
                            Blair Waldorf really only does one style    out to save the world she’s not focusing on

                       and that is flawless. Her hair is never mussed   who the next big designer is. Good thing
                       and her dresses hail from the 19th century       she has such an impeccable fashion sense
                       guide to preppy chic. Her ultimate piece is      that she can pick out gorgeous pieces at all
                       the headband. She rocks this from morning        those vintage shops she pops into while
                       till dawn (getting a measly 2 hours of sleep)    milling about Manhattan. Vanessa does
                       and it holds all those evil little thoughts in   hippie chic with a punch. Her chunky gold
                       her head. Being the queen of mean means          jewelry and black lame leggings really spice
     By Justine Mann   dressing like royalty. Hence the no pants        things up while her clothes are soft cotton
                                                                                              or silk tunics. She’ll
                                                                                              never follow the rules
                                                                                              of the upper east-side
                                                                                              but they may start
                                                                                              following her.
                                                                                                  Finally        there’s
                                                                                              sometimes present,
                                                                                              sometimes in rehab,
                                                                                              Georgina Sparks. When
                                                                                              not tempting Serena into
                                                                                              disaster          she’s…
                                                                                              temping someone else?
                                                                                              This girl sports all
                                                                                              leather and black
                                                                                              hardware all the time.
                                                                                              As a girl that lives in the
                                                                                              excess zone she piles on
                                                                                              jewelry and hides her
                                                                                              soulless eyes behind
                                                                                              massive           shades.
                                                                                              Georgina may be a
                                                                                              reforming problem
                                                                                              child but she’s got a
                                                                                              spark which will not be

Late Night Disaster

                                                                                                       By Melissa Amarianos

      When I heard the news that Late Night host         One major concern that O’Brien cult                     The banter between Fallon and his house
Conan O’Brien was stepping down from his             followers such as myself have is that with the         band The Roots cannot compare in any way to
post I was shocked. O’Brien is scheduled to          new earlier time slot is: Can he still be as cutting   the intense love/hate staring battles between
take over The Tonight Show in place of Jay           edge and provocative in his sketches? I                O’Brien and his drummer Max Weinberg. When
Leno, another late night favorite. The choice        personally can’t wait to see how he will reinvent      he interviews guests such as Drew Barrymore,
of the NBC network to make these changes             himself for his new job on The Tonight Show.           Fallon seems more concerned with telling his
comes in the wake of Leno announcing his                 I have tried to keep an open mind about            own stories than listening to theirs. It is the job
retirement, however this may have been a rash        Jimmy Fallon taking the place of O’Brien. Since        of a late night host to be funny and interact
decision since he still wants to be on television    Fallon was a regular on NBC’s Saturday Night           respectfully with celebrities, maybe even
and has apparently been offered his own prime        Live it was not a difficult stretch for the network    occasionally taking them out of their comfort
time variety show which will air on NBC in the       to consider the one time leading name on the           zones. Every time I watch him interact with
fall.                                                show to be a natural for a spot on Late Night.         someone famous I feel like I am watching a
      I have been to two live taping of Late Night   One of Fallon’s most famous sketches on SNL            Fallon biography.
with Conan O’Brien and have been a devoted           was “Weekend Update”. He worked with Tina                   Fallon’s skits such as”7th Floor West” are
fan since my high school years.He had humble         Fey on the sketch and even though she often            overthought. I understand that the skit is
beginnings as a comedy writer for Saturday           stole the show he was still pretty entertaining.       supposed to be making fun of reality shows
Night Live and The Simpsons. He joked                    My ability to keep an open mind about              and teen dramas such as The Hills but it
constantly on the show about attending               Fallon’s performance has been increasingly             completely misses the mark. In his attempt to
Harvard (which he did) and is both intelligent       dwindling as I continue to watch the show              be snarky and alternative, the fake drama falls
and sassy. What makes him great is his ability       week after week. At first I thought maybe he           flat. Nobody cares about the drama on The Hills
to come up with unique sketches such as when         was just nervous, after all he does have big           and people care even less about a parody of a
he visited F.A.O Schwartz in NYC, and his brand      shoes to fill. His awkward introduction                stupid reality drama that is not entertaining.
of humor that is both self-deprecating and           sequence in which he often pretends to bowl                 Maybe Fallon should hang out with Andy
physical.                                            when he tells a “good” joke is awkward and             Sandberg for awhile or at least stop trying to
      Over the years O’Brien has come to conduct     usually gets only pity applause from the               be something he is not. The sketch “Lick it for
his show like clockwork. He knows how to be          audience. His monologue is not witty and he            Ten” (dollars) is also incredibly pointless and
funny without being obnoxious and his                does not have any form of personality                  often the stuff people are supposed to be
interviews with celebrities are memorable. He        whatsoever when delivering the jokes. He               objectified to lick (such as a bowling ball) looks
is not afraid to be over the top and his comedy      speeds through the opening, telling one joke           clean and perfectly sanitized.
can range from outrageous to highly                  after the other. Really Jimmy shouldn’t you                 I really hope Jimmy Fallon can improve with
sophisticated. It is hard to deny that Obrien        have more experience with this by now… after           time. I am not expecting much though, and
has a personality all his own.                       all you are a comic right?                             ultimately I am just anxiously anticipating the
                                                                                                            return of Conan this June.

              puRsuing the DReaM (hOuse)
      anD hOw pRiORity pOints DestROyeD the DReaM
         When I was a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed             3. We weren’t crazy about the option of 9E
     freshman, I remember sitting in rapt attention       (the penthouse), but wouldn’t be upset if that        By Christie Gorman
     as my orientation leaders told me everything         was our only option.
     about Marist I would need to know. One of the             When lists for housing
     aspects about Marist that struck me as a             were posted, we were thrilled
     fantastically good idea was the priority point       to be the fifth section of girls
     system. It seemed to be an honest, fair system       to pick our house. We high-
     to give a reward to those students who work          fived each other in joy, because
     especially hard. Now, two years into my Marist       this meant we were pretty much
     education, I’ve got to say that this system of       guaranteed to get Fulton. We
     priority points is at best, flawed.                  had attended all the meetings,
         Mid-April, I, like all of you, was herded        asked all our questions, and we
     through the process of housing selection. I was      were ready to pick the house
     my group leader, and was determined to get the       of our dreams. I walked into
     best possible house for my small group of four       the room selection area with a
     girls. We have a combined priority point             list of our top six houses. One
     average of 35.5, so we were feeling pretty           house was designated to be a
     confident about our chances of getting the           male house, one was taken, but
     house of our dreams. It didn’t take much             11D was available. We strode
     discussing for us to decide that we wanted to        in confidently, and requested
     live in the coveted Lower Fulton. It is almost       that house, only to be shot
     brand-new! No roommates! Much closer to              down.                                                members of the track team, intramural sports
     campus than Upper Fulton! Right by the tennis             Why? The people at the table oh-so-             enthusiasts, and double majors and minors
     courts! After sitting down with a floor plan of      condescendingly explained to us that we could        galore. You can’t tell me we don’t deserve a
     Lower Fulton, the four of us decided that the        not open a new house because they cannot             third choice!
     highest praises could be sung for almost any         have every house in Fulton filled halfway up.            And we’re not the only people who have
     one house there. But as a group, we made a few       It would be unfair to the people who pick after      gotten stiffed by the priority point system.
     decisions:                                           us. The people who have fewer priority points        Think about the entire male population of
         1. We do NOT want to live with only four         than us. Didn’t you attend the information           Marist College. Why are they so segregated?
     people in one house. The reason we didn’t go         session? You should know this!                       If we were to embrace this idea of priority points,
     in a group with the rest of our friends is because        So we were given two options: a four-           we would have one master list of all housing
     we wanted to meet new people. A year in              person house and 15A. We were given the              groups on campus, and would progress
     Gartland easily proves that if you’re not forced     option of deferring our pick, but when we            straight down this list. Now, I know the higher-
     to interact with new people, you won’t.              asked about this option, about how long we           ups at Marist would cringe at the idea of mixed-
         2. We hated the idea of 15A. This house          would have to wait, we were given no definitive      gender housing, but that’s not what I’m
     has a side bared to all passing traffic: security    answer. It might take hours, days even. We           advocating. I’m just saying that we shouldn’t
     vehicles, party girls on Tuesdays, Fridays, and      exchanged worried glances and quickly spoke:         have certain houses pre-designated as male or
     Saturdays, and even the occasional passerby          Would it be worth it to wait until possibly          female, especialy 75% of the nicest ones to one
     from the city of Poughkeepsie. We just didn’t        tomorrow to pick? What if all the houses in          gender. What happens if all the men on campus
     think we would feel safe here. Plus, it doesn’t      Fulton filled up? In the end, we decided that        have higher priority points than the women?
     even face the green, again, lessening our chance     deferral as was explained to us was not a viable     Only a few of these upstanding students would
     for interaction with new people.                     option. Resignedly, we agreed to 15A.                be able to live in their dream house, because
                                                                                 I’m just curious as to        we must save some of the elite houses for the
                                                                             what exactly we got priority      ladies lower down the list!
                                                                             for. We had the points to live        It doesn’t make sense to have a priority
                                                                             anywhere on campus, but           point system that allegedly gives the best pick
                                                                             got all of two choices.. Now,     to the best students, but has all of these
                                                                             someone with less priority        caveats. You will have fewer options if you are
                                                                             points than us is living in our   male, even if you have the same points as the
                                                                             dream house, a house we           women. You will only have two options for a
                                                                             had to work hard for. Within      house. Housing will accuse you of not
                                                                             my group of four                  attending required meetings if you question
                                                                             housemates, we have club          their logic. Smaller groups will be given the least
                                                                             presidents, publication           savory options, just so the larger groups (with
                                                                             editors, tutors, TAs,             fewer points) still have a shot at obtaining the
                                                                             dedicated band members,           dream. The system is too arbitrary to be given
                                                                             honor society inductees,          a name like “priority points,” and needs to be
                                                                       The Importance of
                                                                       College Relationships

 By Sarah Briggs

     As my time here at Marist comes to an end,           From the first relationship, I learned that it   is from people willingly choosing to allow it to
I’d like to think that I’ve learned a thing or two,   is important to be able to be open-minded,           happen or just a lack of communication over
given that I have incurred quite a debt these         whether it be deciding to partake in an activity     time. Nevertheless, I have been fortunate to
past four years. One of the things I have learned     the other likes (for me that was Frisbee) or just    have a few stick by me and comfort me through
is the importance of the relationships you share      listening to their ideas and emotions without        it all, particularly one best friend, Melissa, who
with people during your college years that’d          responding irrationally. However, while being        I met through this very magazine. It is such
I’d like to share as some form of advice to my        open-minded is significant, you shouldn’t            friends that you know you’ll always be able to
fellow Marist students.                               change yourself completely or sacrifice things       count on to be there for many years to come.
     First off, let me clarify that when I say        that you truly believe in, nor should they. That          I’ve also come to learn just how important
relationships, I’m not just talking about the kind    can ultimately lead to a dishonest relationship.     the relationship you share with your family is.
that’d you share with a significant other. I’m        If you aren’t being completely honest with           Like the saying goes, blood is thicker than water,
also talking about the relationships shared with      yourself then you’re not being honest with           and no matter how much distance there is
friends and family. Furthermore, I’m talking          them. Believe me, dishonest relationships are        between you and your family, in the end you
about the relationship you share with yourself.       easy to break and hard to repair.                    can count on them to be there for you and
     Something I have learned in general about            My second relationship taught me when            support you.
any relationship is that no matter how long           put in new and unfamiliar situations, your                Overall, no matter what kind of relationship,
you know a person, it doesn’t mean you’re             significant other can really show their true         I personally learned that the most important tool
ever going to run out of things to learn about        nature, which can be a welcome surprise or a         that determines the success (or lack thereof) of
them. I have known my sister all my life, and         disappointment. I also learned that being in a       the relationship is communication. When
yet I only learned about a year ago in France         relationship is a team effort. It’s like being       carried out and received properly, it can result
that she was afraid of heights. I learned that        tennis partners; one person cannot do all the        the creation and continuation of a successful
the hard way by taking her up to the top of the       work by themselves if they want the team to          relationship. When miscommunication occurs,
Strasbourg Cathedral, the sixth tallest cathedral     be successful.                                       though, is when the trouble starts and can
in the world.                                             In terms of my friendships here at Marist,       inevitably lead to damaging and, at worst, even
     To get it out of the way, let’s start off with   the most important thing I learned is that, as       destroying a relationship.
the kind of relationship one may share with a         cliché as it may sound, your true friends are             In the end, though, the most important
significant other, even if it is with someone         the ones who stick by you no matter what.            relationship, I have learned, is the one you have
you’re not “Facebook official” with. I have           Personally, I’ve had quite a few storms come         with yourself. You have to be able to love and
had two boyfriends here at Maris. The first I         my way, from the breakup between me and my           respect yourself for who you are before others
dated for about a year and a half while the           first boyfriend to my most recent breaking of        can do the same for you and before you can do
second I dated for a few months. Despite the          my foot and rolling my ankle, which has              the same for others. When that happens, you’ll
difference in length of time, I’m confident           resulted in me needing to have a cast for three      have people who truly appreciate you, who you
saying I have learned from both.                      months, including for my graduation this May.        can create memories with and have successful
                                                      I’ve lost friends during these times; whether it     relationships with for a lifetime.

 Mike Arteaga’s Health & Fitness Center
         To Join? or Not to Join?

                                                                                                            By Christine Urgola
     It is obvious that it is not particularly cheap       Upon entering the sports center, the first     variety of trainers to assist members with the
 to be a student at Marist College. There are          thing I noticed about Mike Arteaga’s was           MedX strengthening circuits, 30 minute circuits
 many additional expenses that are incurred            cleanliness; it was in pristine condition. The     designed for members with little time to exercise.
 during the year; textbooks, project supplies,         floors were immaculate, the walls looked freshly   They allow a full-body workout with free aid
 are only a few that come to mind. However,            painted, and the machines seemed brand new.        from any trainer that was free. Directly next to
 somewhere in the close to $40,000 we expend               While I was impressed by the look and feel     this program was ‘The Healthy Back and Neck
 each year, there is a great facility included in      of the gym, I knew that I needed to take some      Program’ was meant to help those suffering
 our tuition that contains quality equipment in        classes and check out any training options         from chronic back or neck pain. It was refreshing
 order to maintain the fitness of athletes and         before giving it a rave review. There were a       to see that people who needed extra support in
 the average Marist student alike: the McCann          wide variety of classes to choose from             learning how to train properly, did not need to
 Center. So why would anyone venture to incur          including Group Power, Group Step, Group           spend extra cash on a personal trainer.
 an added cost for a facility that is seemingly        Centergy, Group Groove, Group Kick, Group              One of my personal favorite aspects of the
 the same butoff campus?                               Ride and Group Active, along with a variety of     gym is the Cardio Cinema. Located on the first
     While College Activities provides dance,          Aquatic Aerobic classes and Mixed and Gentle       floor of the gym near the women’s locker rooms,
 yoga and Pilates classes, they are often closed       Yoga classes.                                      this fitness area is a dark room with a huge flat-
 out before even a fraction of Marist students             I opted for Active, a ‘beginner’ class with    screen television that plays a new flick every
 are given a chance to sign up. I was lucky            step moves, abdominal and weight training.         two days. Where is the exercise, you ask? The
 enough to get a spot in both $3 Pilates               The class was described as “perfect for the        stadium “seating” consists of a front row of
 sessions and with this workout, combined with         infrequent exerciser,” but I challenged myself     low recumbent bicycles, the second row a bit
 all of the possibilities at the McCann center, I      by increasing my weights. My only complaint        higher with treadmills and a third row of tall-
 still was not satisfied, so I decided to              was the music in the class; it was not very        standing ellipticals. I had finally found the
 investigate some of my options.                       upbeat or motivating.                              perfect cardio workout for the lazy college
     Planet Fitness was only $15 per month but             Group Centergy and Gentle Yoga, however,       student!
 it was inconvenience, as the closest one              were by far my favorite classes. Centergy was          I finally headed back upstairs to plug my
 resides in Hyde Park. Before even exploring           a combination of fast-paced yoga moves and         iPod into one of the machines and start
 the obvious choice, I received a phone call on        an abdominal intensive Pilates series. Gentle      running. As I stared out the full-length
 my cell phone about Mike Arteaga’s Health &           Yoga was perfect as a night class, this 75-        windows, exerting myself on the treadmill and
 Fitness Center located directly across the            minute class was very relaxing, yet challenging.   wiping beads of sweat off my brow, I can see
 street. I was offered a free one week trial at        Overall, as far as classes went, I was very        the McCann Recreation Center across Route
 the gym and while I never seriously considered        satisfied.                                         9. and I still feel as if the extra expense per
 joining for an extra $30 per month, I was looking         After leaving my class I decided to try out    month is worth it to be a member at Mike
 to take advantage of some exercise classes.           the weight and cardio machines. I observed a       Arteaga Health & Fitness Center.

 My Modest Proposal
    As a nation we are at a critical point. Every      of this plan is against improving the education
                                                                                                                          By Mike Cresci

                                                                                                             and, if a valid use for them exists, be granted
day we are presented with a list of economic           of our children and therefore should be               the requested help.
problems that at times may seem                        disregarded. With over 3.8 million Americans              At first glance it may be difficult to see how
insurmountable and hard working people are             at over 300 pounds and an estimated 25%               this will help the economy but the advantages
living in fear that the comfortable life they’ve       qualifying as “obese” there is no doubt the           are numerous. A sizeable portion of the slaves
earned might be taken from them. Meanwhile             amount of money in question would be                  with be sent to the Midwest (their families may
we struggle with ever rising obesity and a             significant. Furthermore the 300,000 deaths           accompany them) to be part of a national
rapidly spreading apathy when it comes to              caused every year by obesity would decrease           agriculture plan. With free workers the cost
solving this weight gain nightmare. In 1962,           and public awareness about the dangers of             would be low. This agriculture plan would
research showed that the percentage of obesity         being overweight would increase. As more and          provide the slaves with healthy food and not
in America’s population was at 13%. By 1980 it         more generations work towards thinning out, it        interfere with existing farms businesses.
had risen to 15% and by 1994 to 23%. By the            would become a cultural norm to remain thin.              Failing farms could even be granted slaves
year 2000 the obesity progression in America           Let me say that thin does not mean unhealthy;         and enter the program as a means of staying
had reached an unprecedented 31%.                      merely a healthy average weight is the goal.          afloat. With food provided small business
    For the good of my country I’ve devised                                                                  would be able to thrive by taking on free
two plans to deal with both problems head on.                2                                               employees. Meanwhile countless jobs
                                                             My second plan of action is almost certainly    openings would suddenly exist as all
    1                                                  more effective but will most likely meet more         Overweights would lose employment. The
    The government must take an active role in         resistance. Be sure not to judge it without truly     unemployment problem would instantly
purging America of its childbearing hips. For          considering the benefits.                             become a thing of the past. By the time most of
too long the cellulite sympathizers in Congress              Using a similar, but more lenient, version of   the slaves earned their freedom the economy
have let cholesterol run free. It’s time to start      the Gluttony Tax’s weight determination               would be so strong that jobs would exist to
taking all those extra pounds and converting           method people will be classified as Acceptable,       assimilate freed slaves back into society.
them into cash. I propose immediate legislation        On Watch, or Overweight. Then all who qualify             The issue of fairness will undoubtedly be
to implement what I call a “Gluttony Tax.” Why         in the last category will be put into an organized    raised by opponents of this plan but they
should those who choose to disregard their             form of slavery. Special human rights laws will       overlook a major consideration. Is it fair that
health and appearance be allowed to continue           be put in place to prevent them from any serious      those of us who choose to stay at a healthy
poisoning our children with their poor example         ill treatment. They would then remain enslaved        weight suffer any longer? The obese are
without any punishment? Therein lays an                until they lost the necessary weight. Freedom         clogging society’s arteries and at this turning
unexplored source of revenue.                          would serve as the ideal motivation. Individuals      point in American history is it crucial we do the
    There would be only one immediate cost.            like you or me could apply for one or more slaves     necessary bypass surgery.
The government would temporarily provide
doctors to evaluate each person in America.
Based on height, build and age each citizen
would be given a card bearing a number. If
their weight is over that number they have 6
months to lose the weight. If they fail to do so
they will be hit with a 25% income tax. If over
the course of the next year they still feel it
necessary to remain both unhealthy and
unsightly they will have to sustain a 50%
income tax. Of course medical conditions that
make weight loss difficult we’ll be taken into
consideration. This is not a plan of strict rules
but rather a flexible effort to get every citizen to
a healthy weight.
    The benefits of such a plan would be
substantial. The tax dollars could go to
immediate use in numerous areas. Urban areas
could be revamped and become safer. Roads
could receive needed repairs, creating jobs in
the process. Education could receive a massive
(no pun intended) amount of money towards
books, computers, updated facilities, better
personnel and so much more. Surely any critic

Coolest House on Campus
    Close your eyes and take a journey with        standard appliances.
me; a trip into the ideal college dorm room. I     Take, for example the
bet what you’re imagining closely resembles        life sized Randy Moss
what the men of Gartland House E3 have             Fathead posted on
managed to put together. They were able to         the far wall. And
transform a first floor Gartland apartment into    hovering just to the
one of the most comfortable living                 left      of     Moss’
environments I’ve seen on campus.                  facemask is yet
    Upon first stepping into the doorway, you      another Nerf Gun.
notice a large tapestry of a prized buck. This,    This one mounted on
along with three rich mahogany bookstands          the wall like a hunting
gives the living room a rather “homey” feel.       rifle is the N-strike
Adorning the dark bookstands are various           Longshot CS-6.
sports memorabilia and autographs, photos of            I took the time to
families and the house DVD collection. From        explore one of the
here you may take a seat on the full couch or      three      bedrooms.
any of the rooms many chairs and play a game       Room C belongs to
or watch something on the 46” widescreen TV        Jim Urso and Mike
placed in front of the window. You may also        Walsh, two sports
notice the Bose surround sound system which        communications majors and a Yankee and Red       The room of Billy Berard and Jack Famiglio
has caused many parties to bust out of control.    Sox fan respectively. Mike and James have        holds another bookshelf posted on the wall
                                                   decorated their room with lots of sports and     next to a movie tribute to Christian Bale. There
                                                                           movie memorabilia.       is also a wheelchair at Billy’s desk used to
                                                                           Walsh has many           perform, “crazy wheelchair stunts.” And folks,
                                                                           Patriots things and a    I’ve seen them and they are quite impressive.
                                                                           framed Kevin Garnett          More so than just the look of this house, it
                                                                           picture along with a     is the vibe that it creates that makes it amazing.
                                                                           large pirate flag to     It’s the reason that every weekend twenty or
                                                                           symbolize         his    so people gather here for parties, or how at
                                                                           personality.             any given time there are ten to twelve students
                                                                           Watching over the        present inside its’ walls. It can be as big and
                                                                           two as they fade of to   important as the hand drawn highlander
                                                                           dreamland every          picture in the bathroom and the “rock em sock
                                                                           night is a Casino        em robots” game on the coffee tables, or as
                                                                           poster      featuring    small and nearly unnoticeable as the two
                                                                           Robert DeNiro, arms      antique lamps that James’ mother picked up
                                                                           folded      and    an    for a dollar at a yard sale. When you put
                                                                           approving look on        everything here together, you only get one
                                                                           his face as he           thing. And that thing is the coolest house on
                                                                           validates their room.    campus.
                                                                           The two also have a
    In normal houses you may expect to see
blank white walls, or a few random scattered
                                                   sort of tribute to Marist athletics with
                                                   newspaper front-pages of the womens’
                                                                                                         By Casper Vigil
posters. This is not the case in E3 where you      basketball team, with
will find a large Johnny Cash poster, along with   small Fitz and Viani
a Queen poster with Freddy Mercury                 posters            and
flamboyantly posing on stage. Also, I can          schedules.
guarantee that this is the only place I have            At brief glance
ever seen a poster of Albert Einstein joyfully     into the other walls
riding his bicycle. One other thing of note is     there is more to
the variety of nerf guns scattered strategically   surprise you. Will
throughout the room. As I’m told by resident       Gunther and James
Mike Walsh, “when you’re in E3, you never          Bartosik’s room is full
know when war may break out.”                      of band posters like
    If you choose to journey further into the      The Who and artsy
house with me, we find ourselves in the kitchen.   paintings that go
Not generally the strong suits of college boys’    great      with    the
houses, but these gentlemen have made the          darkness of the room.
kitchen their own. Of course all the amenities     Gunther ’s hockey
are present, toaster, microwave, and blender,      jersey also adorns
but there is much more to this kitchen than        the wall over his bed.

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