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magazine
May 2009
Editor-in-Chief: Assistant Editor:
Sarah Holmes Melissa Amarianos
Music Editor: Movies Editor:
Paige Zangoglia Justine Mann
Team
Marist’s Women’s Rugby T eam
Literature Editor: Theatre Editor: Features
Jennifer Sommer Ashleigh Whitfield 7 Top Ten Easy Ways to Go Green By Mary Treuer
11 The Great Foxhunt 20 teams, 150 clues, 12 hours By
Jennifer Sommer
13-14 Marist College
Women’s Rugby One
club sport that trained hard
Opinion Editor: Fashion Editor: and fundraised to make it
Mary Treuer Christine Urgola to Nationals By Amanda
Benton
Club Mascot George >>>
15 Marist Fights Back Against Cancer Relay for Life
2009 By Mary Treuer
Photography
Editor: 20 Dancing Right Off Campus Stand-out performances
make up for lack of diversity at Dance Show By Sarah
Sarah Dubrule
Faculty Advisor Dubrule
Dr. Richard Backpage: Coolest House on Campus Gartland
Grinnell Commons E3 shows off its stylish uniqueness By Casper
Vigil
1
Music 19 -20 An Evening With the Queen of Independent
3 Spring Sounds in the Sun Jack’s Mannequin, Matt Film Actress Lili Taylor shows and tells how and why “art
Nathanson, and Erin McCarley perform for SPC’s Spring is bigger than you” By Storm Heitman
Concert By Olivia McMahon
21 Fashion on Film A look at the high-fashioned stylings of
4 Summer Music Festival: The Revival What a music Gossip Girl By Justine Mann
festival experience is like and
where to find one this summer By Opinion
Storm Heitman 22 Late Night Disaster Jimmy Fallon’s debut on late night
television can’t compare to Conan O’Brien By Melissa
5 Album Reviews A variety of Amarianos
albums to check out over the
summer months By Paige 23 Pursuing the Dream (House) and How Priority
Zangoglia Points Destroyed the Dream Housing selection reveals
flaws in system By Christie Gorman
6 Not for Those Who are Easily
Offended Steven Lynch played at 24 The Importance of College Relationships Why
the Bardavon for his 3 Balloons relations with significant others, friends, family, and yourself
Tour By Olivia McMahon are necessary and helfpul By Sarah Briggs
7 No Need for the Binary Code Solo A theorist claims 25 Mike Arteaga’s Health & Fitness Center An extra
there is nothing special about music, nothing important By $30 a month may be worth it By Christine Urgola
Billy Berard
26 My Modest Proposal To solve America’s economic
Literature and obesity problems simultaneously By Mike Cresci
8 Once Upon a Poem... Ten poets compete in a twisted
fairytale themed Poetry Slam
By Jennifer Sommer
9 Writing Beyond College
Creative paths are hard to
pursue successfully but there
is hope for writers By Sarah
Holmes
10 Book Review Water for
Elephants by Sara Gruen is a
must-read for everyone By
Photo Credits:
Nick Sweeney
Cover and 1 c/o Robin Miniter
Page 1 c/o Melanie Hoffman
Theatre Page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 12, 16, 17, 18, 21, 22, 24, 25, 26 c/o
12 Students Venture Under the Sea To enjoy a
CreativeCommons.org
Broadway Musical true to Disney’s childhood masterpiece
Page 3 c/o Olivia McMahon
By Heather Munnelly
Page 8 c/o Jennifer Sommer
Page 9 c/o Sarah Holmes
Movies Page 11 c/o Amanda Benton
16 Movie Review I Love You, Man pleases with funny Pages 13 and 14 c/o Robin Miniter
and unique plot but has its flaws By Ashleigh Whitfield Page 15 c/o Mary Treuer
17 Movie Previews What movies are coming to theatres
near you By Paige Zangoglia Have an opinion on something that was written?
18 The Festivals You’ve Never Heard of and the Want to write about what music, movies, books or
Movies You Will Smaller and less well-known film festivals anything else you have an interest in?
offer creativity and entertainment By Justine Mann Email generatormagazine@yahoo.com
or visit http://generatormagazine.blogspot.com/
2
Spring Sounds in the Sun
By Olivia McMahon
Anatomy and the movie He’s Just Not audience’s enthusiasm. Such favorites
That Into You. included “Dark Blue”, “I’m Ready”, “Holiday
After a brief break, Matt Nathanson from Real”, “Bruised”, and their older single,
took the stage to quite a bit of applause “The Mixed Tape”.
and cheering. He appeared to have a huge They also played what would be
female fan base, and I’m not going to lie – considered Jack’s Mannequin’s love ballad,
by the end of his set, I had jumped on the “MFEO”, which stands for Made For Each
bandwagon. I don’t know if it was his Other: an 8 minute song that transitions from
great stage presence, his sense of humor, an upbeat supposition of “oh maybe, we were
or the fact that he wore a tie to a concert made for each other,” to a sweet intimate, and
that made him so desirable to all the girls certainly more heartfelt, storyline. As a treat
in the crowd. Maybe it was the wedding to Andrew McMahon’s fans of his former
ring that made him forbidden. But it could band, Something Corporate, the band played
be that his music is extremely good. And a song the piano man had written when he
Matt Nathanson is –there’s no easy way was 16, entitled “Cavanaugh Park”. As if
around this –a tad sexual. From the jokes apologizing for never having that Something
he made, to some of his dance moves, Corporate reunion tour, he often plays one
even his music. He was great with the song that was done by him and his previous
crowd and interacted with us a lot, singing band.
Matt Nathanson Enrique Iglesias when one of his songs They ended the set with a crowd pleaser,
sounded similar to that of the Latin pop the good-feeling “La La Lie”, a dedication of
It was a good start to the day: the nice star. He also asked us to sing along to “Jesse’s sorts to friends, with Andrew showing off his
weather continued and by one o’clock, people Girl” when another one of his songs consisted skills with the harmonica. Many were
were gathering down by the river, ready for of the same sort of melody. He played quite a disappointed, however, when no encore
the show. Sunday, April 26, was the SPC’s few popular songs: “Laid” (from the American ensued. The majority of the crowd left but a
Spring Concert and I was particularly excited Wedding soundtrack); “Come On Get Higher,” few hopefuls lingered around the stage in
because my band of choice had been selected which can be heard on the radio now; “To The hopes of getting a set list or water bottle that
to play: Jack’s Mannequin. Beat of Our Noisy Hearts,” a seriously catchy touched the lead singer’s lips. In the end, just
For those not familiar with the band, think tune; Still, a song which he told everyone “to two boys remained at the metal bar, yelling for
California beaches, sunny days and breezy go home and fondle each other to”; and several the lead singer to come back out and play one
warm nights. Often upbeat with fun lyrics and others I cannot name due to just joining his more song. It was a great show in general with
melodies, they’re a great soundtrack for fanbase. the diversity of the personalities of the
summer. Front man Andrew McMahon (we After quite a bit of waiting, Andrew performers who played and we can only look
have the same last name!) has thousands of McMahon of Jack’s Mannequin took the stage forward to the Fall concert.
adoring fans, some that he snagged from Jack’s accompanied by thunderous applause. At least,
Mannequin’s first CD, Everything in Transit, as much as applause can be
and others that remained loyal after he left his thunderous when the crowd consists
first band, Something Corporate. of less than 300 people. They began
Opening for Jack’s Mannequin were two with “Crashing,” the first song off of
artists: Erin McCarley and Matt Nathanson. I their new CD, The Glass Passenger.
hadn’t heard of either of these people before, The set continued with several songs
but apparently Matt Nathanson had paid a off of their new album such as:
visit to Marist before. So it was with high “Spinning”, “Annie Use Your
hopes for the day that I set off toward the Telescope”, “The Drop Out”, “Swim”,
tunnel where tickets were ripped, concert “Bloodshot”, and of course their
bracelets were distributed and water bottles single, “The Resolution”.
were chucked upon entering for fear that they Andrew is a hurricane on stage,
would contain anything but water. College always moving, despite being
Activities provided tents to avoid the heat, anchored by the piano on which he
free water and food and an emergency tent for plays, often jumping off his stool and
those who could potentially become knocking it over. He is rarely stationary
dehydrated. and at some points even jumped up
Around 2 PM the show began with Erin onto his piano, stomping on the keys
McCarley taking the stage. Her music is quite before jumping off to the great
good and she had a small but faithful fan base enjoyment of the crowd.
in the crowd who weresinging along and When Jack’s Mannequin played
dancing to her songs. She has had the good old favorites off of their first album
fortune to have her music featured in several everyone in the crowd went crazy,
popular TV shows like Kyle XY and Grey’s shouting the words so that Andrew
was barely heard singing over AndrewMcMahon
3
Summer Music Festival:
The Revival By Storm Heitman
Growing up in Seattle, there was only one my friends and I treated it as our own version My only negative Bumbershoot experience
part of the year that I looked more forward to of the Amish’s Rumspringa, one last wild party was when I found myself in the middle of a
than Christmas, and that was the summer music to indulge in the carefree spirit of summer mosh pit at The Fall of Troy, where some idiot
and arts festival known as Bumbershoot. before returning to dull months of routine and decided it would be a great idea to open an
Every Labor Day weekend, my friends and responsibility. umbrella, the metal prongs inadvertently
I would dawn our best hemp accessories and Some of my fondest memories of the event slicing the skin under my left eye (thankfully I
Birkenstock sandals as we bummed around include the time I danced soaking wet in the needed no stitches and the guy later bought
Seattle Center basking in its 74 acres full of Center’s giant fountain to the sounds of United me a chocolate dipped strawberry kabob, so
artists of all disciplines and musical genres States of Electronica and the time I juggled naturally, all was forgiven).
with different levels of notoriety at a variety colorful strips of fabric with Boe (this dirty This summer marks the 40 year anniversary
of unique indoor and outdoor venues. hippie/sex-offender who has become of the music festival that started it all,
A three day pass to Bumbershoot only somewhat of an icon in the city and who can Woodstock ’69, and with it comes impressive
cost $80, substantially cheap considering the be found hallucinating and flashing his line-ups all over the country as well as the
value of the exposure to new music as well as genitalia at all of the major streetevents). release of Ang Lee’s much
the chance to see several anticipated “Taking Woodstock”
headliners for a significantly which will feature college-favorite
smaller price than it would be to comedian Demitri Martin’s first
see them play independently. starring role in a film.
Falling on the last weekend before
the start of the new school year,
Sasquatch Where: Jersey City, NJ
When: May 23-25 Who To See: Beastie Boys,
Where: Quincy, WA (at The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Vampire
Gorge) Weekend, MSTRKRFT, The
Who To See: The National, Tool, My Bloody
Decemberists, M.Ward, Valentine, Gogol Bordello,
Passion Pit, Blind Pilot, Arctic Monkeys, Coldplay,
Explosions inthe Sky, Mos MGMT, Mogwai
Def, Natalie Portman’s Cost: $199 (3 day pass)
Shaved Head, Bon Iver. Experience: Four of today’s
Cost: $154.50 (3 day pass) best British bands in a setting
Experience: the best of the with panoramic views of the
west at an award winning amphitheatre Bonnaroo statue of Liberty, Ellis Island and the
nestled next to the scenic Columbia When: June 11-14 Manhattan skyline.
River. Not to be missed is King Khan & Where: Manchester, TN
The Shrines (James Brown reincarnated Who To See: Animal Collective, Bruce Pitchfork
Springsteen, Beastie Boys, MGMT, When: July 17-19
as a 30 something year old Indian
Andrew Bird, Band of Horses, TV on the Where: Chicago, IL
hipster).
Radio, Yeah Yeah Yeahs Cost: $75 (3 day pass)
Cost: $249.50 for a three day pass Who To See: The Flaming Lips, Yo La
Lollapalooza
(ouch!) Tengo, The National, Grizzly Bear, The
When: August 7-9
Experience: Packing the back of your Walkmen
Where: Chicago, IL
pick-up truck with all your closest Experience: The closest thing our
Who To See: Kings of Leon, The Killers,
friends, hosing down topless girls, the generation has to Woodstock. Hosted by
Silversun Pickups, Santigold, Of Decider Chicago (an online journal who
Montreal, Lou Reed, Snoop Dog, The 100 acre “entertainment village” including
has become a leading voice in the realm
Airborne Toxic Event a “silent disco”(...I couldn’t make this
of independent music), Pitchfork is all
Cost: $190 (3 day pass) stuff up).
about the nearly-famous bands you will
Experience: The holy grail of alternative All Points West
pay three times as much to see two
rock which was created by Perry Farrell When: July 31-August 2
years from now.
(front man of Jane’s Addiction).
4
Album: All I Ever Wanted
Artist: Kelly Clarkson
Genre: Pop
Re-emerging with an album full of catchy
sing-a-long worthy tracks, Clarkson
provides a list of feel good tracks such as “I
Do Not Hook Up” and “I Want You” as
well as a fair share of ballads like “Save
You” and “If No One Will Listen” that put
Clarkson’s signature powerful voice on
display.
Album:Fantasies
Artist: Metric
Genre: Alt Rock
A new reinvented sound for Metric,
Fantasies is a wonderfully cohesive album
combines catchy synth rock on tracks like
“Help I’m Alive”, with raw vocals and lyrics
and dance-y beats on tracks like “Stadium
Love” and “Gold Guns Girls”.
Album: A Shipwreck in the Sand
Artist: Silverstein
Genre: Rock
A dynamic new release, A Shipwreck in the
Sand does not disappoint. Starting off the
album, “A Great Fire” combines compelling
scream breakdowns with a melodic and
catchy chorus. The trend continues
throughout the album, with tracks displaying
emotional and energetic lyrics and melodies.
Album:It’s Blitz!-
Artist: Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Genre: Alt Rock
Returning with a very synth-y and
electronic sound, It’s Blitz! seems somewhat
softer than earlier albums. Although lacking
the signature screams and harder rock
sounds characteristic of the Yeah Yeah
Yeahs, tracks like “Dull Life,” “Shame and
Fortune” and “Hysteric” are catchy and fun
to listen to.
By Paige Zangoglia
5
Not For Those Who Are
Easily Offended
There should be a warning for those not name is about a man smuggling drugs out and “Craig”, an ode to Jesus’ evil brother.
familiar with the musical stylings of Stephen of a foreign country in 3 balloons…well, you These don’t sound too bad? That’s because
Lynch: Caution –Not for those who are easily can guess where. The twist at the end? The they’re some of the tamest songs he has.
offended. Of course, I am not one of these man is the pilot. He has a gift to leave people aghast, and
people so when I heard that he would be He played many favorites such as believe me, he does it well.
performing at the Bardavon Opera House, I “Special Ed”, about his special childhood But comedy is not the only thing he does
immediately ordered my tickets, anxious to friend; “Beelz”, a song about a very well. Lynch starred in the show The Wedding
see this witty and flamboyant Singer when it was on Broadway. He has
cutting comedian. S a t a n ; amazing vocal range in addition to his
Now, I say “Pierre”, a amazing ability to offend. If you get the
“musical stylings” song he chance to see him, and you’re willing to take
because Lynch is not wrote on a that risk of being stunned by his gall,
like most comedians bet about a definitely get those tickets, you won’t regret
out there. Yes, he’s French bum it.
rude, swears too in New York;
By Olivia McMahon
much, and makes
jokes that (more often
than not) cross the
line, but he does this
in song! Armed with
his guitar and a friend
or two to accompany
him in his insult
slinging, he
simultaneously makes
the crowd laugh and
go “ooo!” with disbelief.
No one can stay mad at this comedic
singing prodigy for long. He has thought of
jokes that have never even grazed the
surface before, so horrible is some of the
subject matter. Lynch goes above and
beyond the ordinary subjects of comedians
and far surpasses those who stick to “red-
neck” jokes. And in that lies his allure: you
are always surprised.
And Lynch did not disappoint the night
of April 17th at the Bardavon. It was a
packed house, the audience ranging from
high-schoolers to grown adults. He came
out with a new song called “Waiting” and
for fear of negative feedback, I will not
disclose the subject of the song, but for
those familiar with his work, it was right
up his usual alley.
He just had a new album put out, entitled
3 Balloons. Most of the material he played
at this show was from this new CD but it
was full of his usual antics and surprises.
The song from which the album takes its
6
No Need
for the
binary
Code solo
By Billy Berard
Top Ten Ways to Go Green
As a constant listener of “popular” music, By Mary Treuer
with years of amateur musicianship to hone
my ears, I was crushed to see a theorization as
bleak as Adorno’s. Adorno’s Case Against 10. Bag the paper. Bag the plastic. If you haven’t noticed by now, plenty of
Popular Music claims there is nothing special supermarkets have cut down on the amount of plastic and paper bags used in their
to music, nothing important. stores. The more environmentally friendly version, the canvas reusable bag, is
We like music because our bodies are pro-
becoming popular in stores. Buy a few to replace plastic and paper bags. Many
grammed to, not because we are individuals,
ambitious, lonely or in love. What appeals to stores will even credit you for each bag!
our senses is something intrinsic and standard-
ized, prepackaged for convenience and easy. 9. Turn it off. Often, we find ourselves looking into the windows of many dorm
Songs in major keys are most popular be- rooms lit up by the glow of a lamp. Often, such rooms aren’t even being occupied.
cause our bodies are programmed to enjoy Turn off the lights and save some electricity!
such things—the human voice actually har-
monizes with itself in a major scale so hearing 8. Take advantage of both sides. Instead of printing from your room, wasting
major keys comforts us just as human interac- your ink, and using only one side of paper, take advantage of the library printers.
tion would. If you play a song in a major key
These printers are defaulted to print on both sides of the page and save paper.
for an infant who has never heard music, it will
be happy, a minor key will make it cry.
This fact almost ruined music for me. The 7. Subtract two wheels. Driving your car may be the “cool” way to get around, but
mediocre songs I wrote weren’t really original, it is actually making the atmosphere a lot warmer. Ride a bike to close distances.
they were just a formula I naturally stumbled The environment will thank you and your legs will too.
upon to fulfill some primal need.
The songs I’ve listened to at every free 6. No need to stay connected. When you aren’t using a charger for a phone,
moment weren’t masterpieces of emotion, but laptop, or IPod, there is no reason to keep it plugged into the outlet. Electricity is still
mathematical equations to appeal to the wid- being used, without something that needs battery power.
est range of people. ABABCAB, verse, cho-
rus, verse, chorus, bridge verse, chorus; this,
or a close variation, will capture the attention
5. Drive with company. Carpooling isn’t just one of those fads that faded out after
and wallets of the population in general. It’s the energy crisis of the seventies, it’s a good idea. Enjoy bonding time with a friend
that easy. on a car ride and save gas.
I’ve tried to listen to the music Adorno
thinks is acceptable. I can’t do it: it’s abrasive, 4. Be a better buyer. Certain products are made with Mother Earth in mind. Look
anti-melodic, and if there’s singing it won’t be at the labels on products and purchase what is most beneficial to the environment.
pleasant. Just smashing drums and spacey pi-
ano riffs so abstract that if heard out of context 3. Grow something. Planting a garden or even a few greens puts oxygen in the air
might be mistaken for AOL dial-up noises. It’s
and beautifies an outdoor space. If you grow fruits and vegetables, you can really
work to enjoy.
This is actually one of Adorno’s key
“have your cake and eat it too.”
qualms with “popular music.” It’s so easy that
it makes you stupid. It makes you stupid and it 2. R-E-C-Y-C-L-E. Recycle. The old song from the hit Nickelodeon show,
brainwashes you. The only way to break the Rocko’s Modern Life speaks the truth. Recycling is one of the easiest ways to take
spell is to challenge yourself with something care of the environment. And with the amount of recycling bins on the Marist
strange. Campus, there is really no excuse.
As hard as I’ve tried, I can’t commit to
Adorno’s unpopular ideas. I agree with them, 1. Be smart. Stay educated on ways to become more environmentally friendly and
but I can’t force myself to break from what I contribute to a healthier planet. Be informed of Green collar jobs, which are
enjoy naturally. The only positive conclusion
becoming the careers of the future.
that I can reach is that maybe it isn’t so bad to
be human. Maybe we shouldn’t fight it.
7
Once Upon a Poem...
By Jennifer Sommer
The Finalists: Olivia McMahon, Pamela Gomez, and Gabrielle Albino
Once upon a time, in a not so far away fairytales such as Snow White and Cinderella accomplished its goal; the event was so
land, there was a group of people who an R-rating. packed that there weren’t enough seats for
wanted to share their love of the spoken word “What we really wanted to do was create all the poetry enthusiasts.
with everyone so they created the Red Fox a fun atmosphere where anyone could During the event ten poets competed to
Poetry Slam. This event was known all win a one hundred dollar prize and bragging
throughout the land, thanks to some great rights. They were judged by two faculty
PR and lots of student support. The event members, Dr. Leah Graham and Colin
was going great until one day a mighty McCann, and student body President, Steve
dragon…
The Literary Arts Society Townsend. The ten poets covered
Okay so maybe the Annual Red Fox (LAS) Meets Every everything from lost love to infomercials in
Poetry Slam, hosted by the Literary Arts Wednesday at 9:30 PM in the the first round. After this round the judges
Society (LAS), wasn’t created in your chose five to continue in the competition
typical fairytale fashion but this year’s
Commuter Lounge, located in and then the poets were given fairytale
theme, “Once Upon a Poem…” did give the the Student Center. Everyone themed topics at random and asked to write
event that feel. is Welcome to Join. a poem in fifteen minutes.
For one night the club transformed the The results were quite entertaining and
Cabaret into a fairytale themed poet’s dream. after much deliberation the judges deemed
The stage was decorated in various props Gabrielle Albino, a sophomore and newbie
such as castle walls and a distinctly familiar to the poetry slam world, the winner.
looking mirror, courtesy of the MCCTA Second place was given to freshman Olivia
props closet. Guests were given shirts with come…we didn’t just want English majors, McMahon and third place was awarded to
a castle on the front and the phrase “Once we wanted to reach as many people as Pamela Gomez, a sophomore.
Upon a Poem…” while being both possibly possible. It’s what art is about right?” Kelly Overall the slam was a big success so
entertained and mildly offended by MCs Katie Gallucci, the club’s Secretary told me. perhaps there is such a thing as happily ever
Warren and James Napoli, who gave beloved It seems as though the club after.
8
Writing Beyond College By Sarah Holmes
English writing majors may be laughed “The MFA or PhD in Creative Writing is for example, is one of the genres where
at by their Business and Biomedical peers the only route to a tenure-track position in Clements recommends cultivating one’s writ-
for choosing a path paved with sheets of writing, but only a small percentage of people ing skills.
paper and thousands of pens, rather than coming through those programs get the cov- “The trick is that the landscape is chang-
one cushioned with hefty paychecks and eted jobs,” Clements said, emphasizing the ing rapidly, and the more skills you can ob-
security cubicles. Their parents may kid them fact that he was one of the lucky ones teach- tain in online delivery of content/information,
as of they have chosen an art major; but the ing. the better prospects you’ll have. That’s the
truth is, it all comes down to the same thing While he offered the real deal to us he kind of challenge that faces anyone inter-
for any major: what can you do with your also provided insight into what does allow ested in a writing or college teaching career
degree? these days—adapting to the rapidly
When you think of writers you think changing job markets,” he said.
of big novelists, screenwriters, poets, Getting a job or starting off your
and similar professions where recogni- career path after college is stressful for
tion is necessary to earn enough money everyone but it’s good to know what
to survive. If you’re willing to rely is out there ahead of time. Clements
solely on your creative prowess to pro- said we may be surprised as to find
vide for yourself, a future in writing is that many people in communications,
dark and filled with potential poverty public relations, and science fields
and madness. As with most fine art stu- don’t know how to write and that com-
dents, it takes hard work, a lot of net- panies are willing to pay people to write
working, and a lot more time to be suc- up any number of documents for them.
cessful. It’s also good to consider what
The other creative writing option to skills you have learned already and
consider is teaching, an option for any what you can still learn now while the
major but one that is hard to obtain in resources are available to you.
this field. But writing to make a living Clements used skills he learned from
is not confined to getting on the New as early as high school towards his
York Times’ Best Seller’s List or becom- jobs now, his experience with his high
ing a creative writing professor, in fact, school magazine and subsequently his
there are hundreds of positions where college literary magazine gave him the
writers are wanted. knowledge to publish his own prose
Writing skills can be applied any- poetry journal, Sentence.
where where communication through Publishing a subscription literary
written documents is key. These prac- journal and teaching and coordinating
tical writing skills are far more likely to at WCSU provides the food for the
open up employment opportunities and table but his food for his soul has also
bring in a salary than even your most been published in various books Flesh
Shakespearean poetry. and Wood, Essays Against Ruin, and
That is why poet, professor, and pub- writers to continue to do what they love best. most recently, And How to End It. He is also
lisher Brian Clements now coordinates a Basically, write and publish as much as you featured in two online collections, Ion and
unique Masters of Fine Arts (MFA) program can. Burn Whatever Will Burn: A Book of Com-
at Western Connecticut State which trains And the more genres you have experience mon Rituals.
students in both creative and practical writ- in the better, both creatively and practically, His success as a poet, publisher, and pro-
ing. It offers “Food for the soul and food for as his program emphasizes. That means write fessor is a perfect example of what he told
the table,” the website claims. articles for a local or student newspaper, re- Marist students; you need to network, pub-
Clements visited Marist in early April to views for a magazine, submit poetry and fic- lish, and, most importantly, write, if you want
talk about writers’ futures after college in tion to literary magazines, and of course there to have a future in writing.
the Henry Hudson room. He offered up a is always your student-run arts and enter-
pretty bleak picture to the students gath- tainment magazine that gets published twice Dr. Lea Graham’s Poetry Workshop
ered there who were interested in spreading a semester. interviewed Brian Clements through a blog
their creativity to the world, and possibly It may seem like self-promotion here but that can be found at
making a career out of it. the truth is the bigger and more diverse your http://poetry311.blogspot.com/
Teaching jobs in creative writing are few portfolio, the more likely you’ll find a job and
while the number of applicants to these jobs one that you’ll like. Plus, the only downside For more information for writer job
increases exponentially each year when to trying out a new style of writing is the outlook go to: http://stats.bls.gov/oco/
those who failed to make it from year before possibility of not liking it but then you don’t ocos089.htm#emply
continue to go after the same positions. have to do it again. Online writing, blogging
9
Addicted to Water for Elephants
Writing? Book Review elephant right? By the way, did I mention
By Nick Sweeney
that she only takes commands in Polish?
But if characters aren’t your thing, it’s
Don’t have the space or okay. I won’t hold it against you. There’s a
the time for a workshop So what happens when you put the bit of everything for readers. Love and hate,
Great Depression, a travelling circus, and a life and death, happiness and depression, all
class? thrilling love triangle together? Maybe you of these themes flow throughout the whole
should find out by reading Water for novel so smoothly that it might take a second
Elephants, a fast paced yet deep novel read to understand the book’s full
Want to be part of a written by Sara Gruen. The story revolves complexity. All of these characters are
growing community of around the circus life during the Great intertwined into a thrilling and puzzle filled
Depression. This New York Times bestseller
writers here at Marist? is much more than a simple love and life at
plot. I guarantee the first chapter will keep
you on the edge of your seat. In fact, I not
the circus story, but I don’t think it would only ask of you to read this once, but twice,
be fun if I told you the ending.
Maybe you should stop by Between the fascinating plot structure
as it will definitely make more sense with
the intense love triangle. Well, a love of sorts
Pen and Paper Addicts, a and the realistic characters, I found it I suppose. Maybe the title isn’t as explosive
student created blog for difficult to put this book down. The readers as Michael Bay special effects, but the plot
are thrown in the middle of things almost definitely is.
students who want to read immediately and have to continue reading Whether you want something to read
and write poems, essays, about Jacob, the main character, and his because of your secret love for life in the
new life at the circus. However, as exciting circus, or because you want a good book
short fiction and play as a novel can be, this baby is deep and about hope during a time when hope was
scenes. One of the most well written to the extent that it will probably scarce, just try Water for Elephants. Maybe
be taught in literature classes for years to you just want to read a story that contains
important parts of becoming come. an elephant. I don’t know, but I do know
a writer is receiving Historically accurate, it’s simple to find that you should give this novel a shot the
examples of how Sara Gruen did her
feedback and learning how research; she includes many minute
next time you wander around the bookstore.
to give proper criticism. descriptions of news that’s happening at the
time and pictures of old circuses as taken
Being part of a writer during the time of the economic crisis
community helps in outlined in the novel. This is only one of
addition to this because the reasons why this book receives
renowned praise. The other is the fact that
you find people with one of the main characters is an animal,
common interests and but we’ll get to that soon enough.
Being a huge fan of characters and their
goals. little quirks, this book was just what the
doctor ordered. Between the dwarf veteran
If you are interested in this, circus worker Kinko to the ambitiously evil
Uncle Al, all the characters bring something
email to the table and this table is jam packed with
Nicholas.Sweeney1@marist.edu flaws, tension, and imagination. This novel
for more information. also contains an interesting romance and
the concept of acting on emotions and
morals with the character conflicts that
If you want to see the blog,
present themselves as the novel progresses.
follow the link http:// And then there is Rosie, the elephant. It
penandpaperaddicts.blogspot.com/ wouldn’t be a circus story without an
.
10
The Great Foxhunt By Jennifer Sommer
Foxhunt is a campus wide scavenger hunt check that we have everything. Digital cam- loaded with cans of food (sorry Tom, we still
that basically comes down to a few stipulations: era? Check. White board? Check. Doug and owe you some Spaghetti-Os), take a late night
20 teams of 5, 20 digital cameras, 150 clues, and Tom? Check. journey to St. Ann’s (causing some members of
12 hours. The rules? Don’t separate from your 8:00 AM Nineteen other teams of five are our team to insist they see ghosts), almost
team, walk everywhere, four out of five team packed into the Leo lounge. Excitement buzzes cause one of our team members to fall into the
members must be in every picture, and all team through the air as we wait for everything to Hudson, play Rock Band, and search high and
member must pretend to be a red fox in every start. I want the day to start already. We’ve low for a bronze fork.
picture they’re in. Foxhunt may seem a bit ri- been anticipating this day for weeks. 8:45 PM The day is almost over as we enter
diculous and perhaps it is but it’s also one of 8:50 AM Team captains are asked to go to the Leo Lounge, which has become the base of
the most fun experiences I’ve ever had. the front of the lounge where they must lunge operations for the day, to upload all of our pic-
The following are the events as they hap- for their team’s folder. tures.
pened as best as I can remember them (it was a 9:00 AM The staff yells go and I grab the 9:00 PM I’ve never been so exhausted in
long day): red folder, running outside to find the rest of my entire life. I’m sitting with the rest of my
7:00 AM My alarm clock begins to play the my team. team in the cabaret. We’ve been together for
familiar sounds of Motion City Soundtrack, 9:10 AM We each take a paper with sheets over 12 hours now, but we’re still willing to share
dragging me out of my reverie. It’s a Saturday of clues on them. We sit down in the grass a meal together. Everyone told us we’d be at
morning. I shouldn’t be awake. I should still and begin to write down answers before run- each other’s throats by now but that’s not the
be sleeping. I sigh and roll out of bed. ning off to the location of the first clue. case. We’re still excited, talking about our
7:30 AM I put on the navy blue shirt that The rest of the day is a blur of running chances of winning as we eat.
was given to me by the Foxhunt staff and grab back and forth across campus, taking hundreds 9:30 PM I’m not sure if its delirium or ex-
my backpack. I don’t know when I’ll be return- of pictures, and receiving random text mes- cess adrenaline but Erin, Joe, and I can’t stop
ing to my dorm again so I’ve packed it full of sages from the Foxhunt staff signaling team laughing as we walk back listening to Tom and
supplies: snacks, water, a digital camera, challenges such as who can collect the most Doug complain about how much their feet hurt
sweatshirt, USB cable, and a marker. perishable food or “Name that Tune”. as they hobble along behind us.
7:45 AM I meet the four other crazy people We run after a tour group to take a picture We still don’t know who the winners are
who agreed to go on this adventure with me in with them, find license plates from every state but despite that fact we’re already talking about
the middle of the Gartland green. We double possible, run across campus with backpacks next year.
11
Students Venture Under the Sea
By Heather Munnelly
Just off Broadway, in the middle of Time love on land. The Broadway show holds true the swimming sea creatures, including
Square, a small playhouse is bringing to the Disney storyline, with a few Flounder and the mermaids, swim across the
imaginations to life. unnoticeable differences. It accurately stage in disguised roller skates. The mermaids’
Swimming mermaids, handsome princes, portrays everything The Little Mermaid stands tails are made of a flexible spring, which moves
and evil sea witches all come together in one for, and the lessons it reveals. through the water like you would expect a
incredible show. It’s no wonder why everyone Marist students who attended the mermaid’s tail to do. At one point, Ursula’s
is talking about The Little Mermaid. When most Saturday matinee of the show last month octopus-like tentacles expand across the entire
people hear this title, they usually picture an observed stunning performances. The cast stage to dramatize her power and the sinister
animated Walt Disney film with an audience of consisted of Ariel, played by Sierra Boggess, atmosphere of her cave. Also, when Ariel and
5 to 12 year olds. However, The Little Mermaid Prince Eric, played by Sean Palmer, Flounder, Prince Eric are making their way to the surface,
on Broadway is a show to be seen by everyone. played by Trevor Braum, and Sebastian, Eric is lifted up by an undetectable chord while
In line, you will find people from ages one to Triton, and Scuttle played by Rodrigo Douglas the backdrop changes and Ariel swims from
ninety one anxiously awaiting the show. Inside Jr., Norm Lewis, and Korbich respectively. the stage. This makes for a really cool effect
the theatre, there is not a bad seat in the house, Though all of these actors were great in their from the audience’s perspective. Throughout
because the characters are constantly moving rolls, one character who truly stood out was the show, huge, sparkling columns reflect light
and surprising you. From the characters, to the Faith Prince as Ursula. Her voice is powerful and color to enhance the settings. The sets
costumes, to the amazing moving set design, and perfectly tuned. She plays her character are changed quickly and efficiently between
The Little Mermaid should definitely be high so well that the audience can’t help but be a scenes without distracting from the show, and
priority for any Broadway lover. little afraid of her, even while she takes her the costumes in every scene are appropriate
Everyone knows the story of Ariel the final bow. Braum is, by far, one of the most and creative. Every scene has a life like, but
mermaid, one of seven daughters of King adorable little boys to ever set foot on still majestic and surreal background that
Triton, King of the sea. They live together in a Broadway. He is the perfect young actor for brings the show to an entirely new level than
beautiful, oceanic kingdom with many other the nervous, yellow fish he plays. As well, the movie.
pleasant sea creatures. Unfortunately, this life Douglas Jr. does a great job embodying the The costumes, characters, and incredible
is unfulfilling for Ariel, who yearns for human character of Sebastian, a high strung crab set design make The Little Mermaid a must-
legs and adventure. After disobeying her father whose job is to assist Triton and keep Ariel see for all Broadway fans. From Ariel and her
and going to the surface several times, she out of trouble. Not one of the actors was a prince, to Sebastian and Ursula, all the
realizes she wants to be with Prince Eric, whom disappointment. characters will delight you. The set designs
she has seen from afar, and goes to see Ursula, The innovative costumes and set designs are constantly moving to excite the audience,
the Sea Witch. In her dark lair, Ursula tricks make the show more intriguing for viewers than and the story line stays true to that of the
Ariel into signing away her beautiful voice until the original Walt Disney video. The show original Walt Disney film. There are many other
Eric kisses her. Unfortunately, if this does not begins with an enormous boat, swaying in the aspects of the show that make it one not to be
happen in three days, she will remain voiceless current of the fake waves below. Prince Eric missed, but the only way to truly grasp the
and become one of Ursula’s “poor unfortunate and his crew are aboard, singing and talking in enormity of the show’s success is to take a
souls.” Ariel experiences many ups and downs appropriate costumes. The next scene moves road trip down to New York City’s theatre
in her journey, but after a little twist, she is under the sea with Ariel and her friends. All district and check it out for yourself.
given her father’s blessing to be with her true
12
Marist College
is already packed. 80 degree Florida heat can feel as we run laps
We pick up around a lake we’re convinced is populated by
t r a v e l i n g crocodiles. We’re not worried we boast, ‘cause
companions as we we’re quite agile. In addition to the hot sun
make our way to and the impending emergence of the feared
the Diner for crocs, the Florida grass was not welcoming as
“breakfast”. it tore at our skin determined to leave us scarred
4:00am While and bleeding before practice was over.
waiting for the
bus, we discover Friday 9:00am. After almost a full night’s sleep,
just how many we’re up and ready and at the field. We must
rugby players it look like an army as we run in two even lines in
actually takes to our matching red shirts and black shorts. The
get 20 uniforms tension can be felt. Excitement hangs in the air
and 6 rugby balls like static. We are the underdogs: The number
into our carry-ons. 16 team from nowhere, New York ready to take
Senior Captain Andrea Hart and Lacey Mendillo 7:15am Check-in on the number one team in the U.S. and the
and security at the defending National Champs. No one expects
What do you get when you take a motley airport goes
crew of 36 young women, a few pregnant
Women’s
relatively smoothly
footballs, lots of mud, even more bruises, and for 36 over-tired and
one talking skeleton mascot aptly named over-excited college
George? Only the sweetest club sport on students operating
campus. Alright - so maybe we’re a bit biased. on an average of
But as a member of the Marist College Women’s about 2 hours of
Rugby Team, the past year has been a whirlwind sleep … especially
of passion, ferocity, and heart. considering one of
This past September we moved up from anything less than a massacre. Except for us.
our carry-ons is a 3-foot skeleton, our mascot We’re ready; and we’re confident as we run
Division III to Divison II after a successful 2007 named George. 10:00am. Some hours of
season. My 35 talented, dedicated, and basically the flash lines we know by heart, as we make
cramped sleep later, we emerge, hungry and passes we’ve been practicing for months, as
all-around amazing teammates and I continued hot in the Orlando Airport. In a sort of reverse
this streak through our fall 2008 season as we we set into the scrum like pros. We’re ready for
Cool Runnings tribute, we all change to ready this. 9:50am. Ten minutes till game time.
went undefeated, leaving most opponents ourselves for the new “extreme” 80-something
scoreless. Led by alumnae Maren Milliard and Adrenaline is pumping as we circle up for our
degree heat. 4:00pm We learn just how hot pre-game traditions. Anyone in a 10 mile radius
Danielle Hundt, we then went on to conquer
the Northeast for the first time in Marist
College history.
In November, we travelled to Maine via
the most indirect course possible (Rhode
Island anyone?) in the hopes of making a
statement to the rugby world at the Division
II Northeast Championships. There we
suffered their first loss of the season in a tough
game against Stonehill which ended with a
very close score of 15 – 7. We fought back
through the rest of the tournament to earn the
second seed in the Northeast and 16th seed in
the nation. This is how we found ourselves
five months later, on April 17th, smack-dab in
the middle of Florida ready to face off for the
title of National Champions.
Thursday, April 16th - 2:42am. Alarm. Damn;
those 2 hours went fast. Why did we even
bother going to bed? Good thing everything
13
now knows we’re excited. 10:00am. Kick-off.
national stage. 11:40am Half-time finds us However, we did play spectacularly and
Kick-off for the game of our young lives. Kick-
ahead by 20 points over the team that was cohesively as a team and even by winning one
off for the game we’ve been practicing for,
seeded #8, and we are in no way ready to stop game, we did what a lot of people doubted we
studying for, and talking about for the last four
there. We enter the second half out for blood, could do – we were the ultimate underdog and
months. The next 80 minutes passes in a blur
determined to run faster, communicate better, we came home with solid win against a very
of running, tackling, rucking, scoring, stripping,
tackle harder, and score more than the other talented team, and greatly improved our national
scrumming, and just flat out playing the best
team - show what Marist ranking. Also, many coaches and spectators
Women’s Rugby is really made have said we deserved to go to California and
Rugby:
of. 12:30 Final Score: Marist 39 that we got jipped by having to play Ship in the
– Wayne State 0. Success. Now first round – but it is best not to dwell on that
we can spend the rest of the too long, lest the frustration mount. It is good
glorious day soaking our aches enough to know that our efforts were
in the hot tub, eating our weight recognized.
in carbs, and showing off our
new lovely bruises at either the Tuesday 5:00pm Watch out world. We’re
rugby any of us have ever played or seen
beach or the pool side. already training for next year.
played. 11:30 The final whistle sounds, and
the final score is 25-5; Shippensburg wins. But
Sunday 3:20am Let me tell you, there’s no
we have nothing to hang our heads about; we
played solid rugby. We lost by only 20 points,
better way to celebrate playing the two hardest
games of your life than waking up bright and
By Amanda Benton
while everyone who is anyone in rugby had
early the next morning for a 4 o’clock departure.
predicted a loss of 50 points or more. We’re
We drag our weary bodies from the hotel to the
disappointed yes, but there is always tomorrow.
bus and from the bus to airport just barely in
time to catch our 6:20 flight from Orlando.
Saturday 10:00. Once again we find ourselves
7:51am we land in Georgia and pass out on the
on the rugby field, though this time a good
airport floor. Since we’re all still school spirited,
deal more bruised, scratched, sore, and if
I wonder if other airport patrons can pick out
possible, more tired, than the previous day.
just how many ruggers are curled up amongst
Proud of who we are, and knowing we are better
the ginormous, and slightly obnoxious, pile of
than everyone is willing to give us credit for,
bags. 11:06am Somewhat caught up on sleep,
we prepare for the game with a new intensity –
we arrive at LaGuardia, where we board a bus.
we will not be going home with two losses.
The two hour drive back to Marist gives us
10:55 As the pre-game traditions come to a
ample time to reflect on the weekend. Obviously,
close, we acknowledge that this is it; this is
we did not accomplish our main goal – we’re
why we’re in Florida – to play rugby not only
not going to California to play in the Final Four.
to win, but to leave a lasting impression on the
Nationals Senior Captain Jess “J.P.” Peterson
14
Marist Fights Back Against Cancer:
Relay for Life 2009 By Mary Treuer
Marist hosted its third annual Relay for Life Marist added its own touches to relay by entertainment and provided musical motivation
Eventon Friday, April 17th, in order to raise holding the event in view of the spectacular for the participants walking many laps around
money for the American Cancer Society. Over river sunset by setting up a track around the the track.One of the most meaningful parts of
758 people on 72 different teams participated rotunda for the participants to walk. The first the night was the luminaria ceremony. During
in the event in order to raise thousands of dol- lap was a meaningful initiation for the event this ceremony, Marist honored the survivors,
lars to fight cancer. The top fund-raising teams because it honored cancer survivors. Survi- those currently fighting cancer, and those who
were the Supertonics, Alpha Sigma Tau, Kappa vors walked around the track holding flags had lost their lives to the disease. The beauti-
Kappa Gamma, Sigma Sigma Sigma, and Team that stated relay’s motto, “Celebrate,” “Re- ful luminaria spelled the words “HOPE” and
Taylor. The event wasn’t just about raising member,” and, “Fight Back,” in order to sym- “CURE,” lighting up the campus green. The
money, but also about team spirit. Teams set bolize hope for a cure. Will Kaiser, a survivor ceremony gave the teams a chance to take a
up personalized tents, made homemade t- who walked the opening laugh says, “As a break from the fast-paced and upbeat mood of
shirts, and shared meals in order to come to- survivor it was very moving to see all the the night and take the time to remember the
gether to fight cancer. The teams Kappa Kappa people who came out to support cancer re- reason they were really there.
Gamma and Sigma Sigma Sigma were awarded search. Also I think it shows the students just The twelve-hour event was long and many
for having the most team spirit. how many people have or had cancer. I’d say team members did not stay the entire time.
Relay for Life began in Washington with a there were at least 5 of us at the relay who Those who did stay, however, found it to be
doctor who ran 24 hours around a track in or- were survivors. This helped to put a face to well worth it. Member of Kappa Kappa Gamma,
der to raise awareness and support for the the cause that we walked for”. Students watch- Kristina Gray, said, “I did it because my
American Cancer Society. Although now nor- ing the opening ceremony and recognizing grandma died of lung cancer and I wanted to
mally just a twelve hour event, relay continues the survivors who walked felt that this first support the cause, so I stayed all night. It was
to affect people’s lives. Today, people from all lap was very powerful. also a lot of fun”. Like Gray, some chose to
over the world take part in Relay for life, as After the honorary first lap the night went stay all night, while other walked only a few
each community gathers to honor, celebrate, on with barbeques, team games, a showing of laps, but each lap and each donation certainly
and remember those whose lives where and the movie, Heavyweights, and a scavenger made a difference. Marist hopes to continue
are affected by cancer. hunt for those involved in Greek life. There Relay for Life every year, never giving up the
was also a disc jockey, which added to the fight until there is a cure.
15
I Love You, Man, a movie directed by John next verbal mistake, which includes any accents While it takes time for the audience to
Hamburg, tells a new kind of love story and that will ultimately sounds like a leprechaun. understand exactly why someone as slick and
gives people a reason to call each other, “Totes Segel’s cool, yet lonely character is what cool as Sydney would bother with the awkward
Magotes.” the audience has waited for throughout the prude that is Peter, they eventually realize that
Paul Rudd (Role Models) plays Peter beginning of the film. He effortlessly portrays they do need each other.
Klaven, a recently engaged man who realizes Sydney as the typical bachelor who has been Even though the pace of the movie picked
he has no male friends up once Sydney entered
for his wedding party. the picture, it dragged
He enlists the help of his for quite some time while
family and on-line Peter met with other male
“friend finders” to solve prospects. In a way, this
his dilemma, but is made Peter’s desperation
unsuccessful until he more apparent and
meets Sydney, played Sydney’s appearance
by Jason Segel more welcomed, but the
(Forgetting Sarah audience has to sit
Marshall). The two hit through several failed
it off immediately and attempts that become
begin their bromance. monotonous after a
Peter begins to shed while.
his closed off, inward One of Peter’s hang
personality and has fun out sessions turns out
for the first time in the to be an actual date with
film. However, while a gay man. While the
Peter and Sydney homosexual undertones
develop their new of the movie were
friendship, his fiancée, apparent, this
Zooey, played by character’s flamboyance
Rashida Jones (The and mood swings were
Office), begins to feel over the top and
neglected and he is bordered on offensive.
forced to make a choice Likewise, Jones’
between the love of his character portrays
life and the woman he women in a negative
wants to marry. light. Her character
I Love You, Man starts out as being very
presents a plot that has supportive of Peter and
not been seen before. Sydney’s new
Rudd creates a dorky friendship, but she
character who is too grows into a jealous
feminine and nice to be woman who forces him
friends with the to make a choice. She
stereotypical macho spends the movie
men that surround him. discussing her sex life to
His attempts to play it her girlfriends, but is
cool fail every time, but angered by the fact that
his failures are what Peter tells Sydney the
gives the film its major same types of stories.
comedic elements. Eventually, these
Peter leaves a characters redeem
pathetic voice mail on themselves and repent
Sydney’s phone, for their actions, but
essentially asking him their behavior mid-film
By Ashleigh Whitfield
on a date, but rambles does nothing to improve
for several minutes, views of women or gay
makes up words and men.
ultimately makes a fool of himself. Early on in abandoned by his married friends and is Despite some of the flaws in I Love You,
their relationship, Peter attempts to quickly give practically as desperate for male friends as Peter. Man, it does turn out to be a hysterical movie.
Sydney a nickname, and comes up with He teaches Peter how to be comfortable with Rudd and Segel create characters with
“Joben.” These small details explain his failure himself and the two bond over exposing sexual eccentricities that drive the plot. The audience
at having male friends at the beginning of the secrets, listening to Rush and “slappin’ da looks for their minor quirks, and becomes
movie and the audience eagerly anticipates his bass.” entranced by Rudd’s attempt to, “find some
f***ing friends.”
16
Angels & Demons- May 15
By Paige Zangoglia
Tom Hanks returns as Robert Langdon in
the sequel to the breakthrough film The
Davinci Code. Here, Langdon finds himself
on an action packed mission to uncover Away We Go-June 12
and stop the powerful Illuminati, an
underground organization that threatens A young couple, played by John Krasinski
the existence of the Catholic Church with a and Maya Rudolph, search the country for
deadly time bomb. a place to truly call “home” and settle
down before the birth of their child.
Along the way, they reconnect with old The Taking of Pelham 123- June 12
friends and family in this heartfelt
comedy. In this film, New York City subway
dispatcher Walter Garber (Denzel
Washington) finds himself up against
criminal mastermind Ryder (John Travolta)
and his team of four when they hijack a
subway train for ransom. When Ryder
threatens to start killing passengers, Garber
engages in a battle to save them.
Funny People- July 31
In another film by Judd Apatow,
Adam Sandler plays successful
comedian George Simmons, who
learns that he is approaching death
due to an incurable illness. In his
desire to make the most of his time
left, he befriends rookie comedian
Ira played by Seth Rogan, and learns
to live in the moment.
17
The Festivals You’ve Never
Heard of and the Movies You Will
By Justine Mann The Faux Film Festival being left for dead, Laura crawls from the sewer
with no memory at all. She is stalked by a man
Every year we see previews boasting awards These films are often short but are truly in the shadows as she attempts to reach help.
from film festivals we’ve never heard of. We independent. The annual festival lives in These and more spine tingling features and
flock to the indie section of our video stores Portland Oregon but most films show up on shorts await you at the Bourne Festival.
and rent the entire Sundance section and try to Youtube.com. Hands are Bananas was a 2007
decide which one will make a big splash in the entry by Nick Andrews that erupted into one Tropfest Short Film Festival
theatres. This year it’s time to branch out and of the most viewed and discussed clips on-
explore some of the more successful, albeit off line. It wasn’t even voted the best on at the Often noted as the largest short film festival
the beaten track, festivals around the world. festival! in the world this fest started as nothing but a
Some are a little strange and others fill a movie screening night at the local Tropicana
cinematic void but they have all become a force The Pocket Film Festival Café. Now it has more then 150,000 visitors a
in their field. night and gets international buzz. Tropfest
Calling all hi-tech artists… the PFF features keeps things interesting by requiring filmmakers
Slamdance Film Festival only films made using cell phone camera. to reference the TSI, Tropfest Signature Item,
Putting a new cap on low budget many artists in their submission. Past TSIs have been
While it may not be featured on Entourage have used this Paris institution as a chance to pickles, chopsticks and muffins. Supposedly
any time soon, the Slamdance Film Festival is test out a new medium. This ‘sensible’ festival this is an inspiration technique to keep the
the coolest Independent Film Festival around. is based on the idea that you always have your festival fresh.
In a bold move the festival takes place in Park phone with you, so you’ll never miss that
City, Utah at the same time as Sundance. In perfect French New Wave shot. Perhaps Jean- Amsterdam Fantastic Film Festival
true indie fashion Slamdance accepts only films Luc Godard will give the 2010 festival a shot?
made by nobodies with next to no money Everything is always fantastic in
(studio speak for under one million). Bourne to Die Horror Film Festival Amsterdam. Showing off a lot of gore from the
It’s the festival “by filmmakers for UK and sci-fi from everywhere else (in their
filmmakers” and it’s good at its game. Recent Hopping across the pond to Dorset UK you Brave New World Programme) the festival has
turn outs have included Mad Hot Ballroom, can find a small festival with big screams. shown classic such as the newly released
which received the highest price ever for a full- Focusing on the truly disturbing films, Bourne’s Haunting in Connecticut. Another haunting
length documentary, Napoleon Dynamite and features all pull storyline from the deepest tale, 100 Feet, stars Famke Janssen and Ed
Memento. darkest fears of mankind. Last festival, the Westwick. Janssen plays a prisoner on house
Winners this year include How to Be with found footage film Home Movie carefully arrest after serving seven years in prison for
surprise star Rob Pattinson before he became a presented the home videos of a family after a killing her abusive husband. Not only does she
vampire. Pattinson goes back to his rock star recent move. The two 10-year old twin boys now find herself stalked by his ex-partner but
beginnings in this film about a wanna-be lyricist slowly develop as the embodiment of pure evil she is haunted by her husband’s vengeful spirit
and his budding friendship with a self-help as their sweet parents also begin to see the while she moves within a 100-foot radius. This
guru. truth. Shadowland was also featured and has program lines up a lot of movies that are sure
won awards at festivals the globe over. After to make a big splash in the cinemas.
18
An Evening with the Queen of
Independent Film:
Actress Lili Taylor
insight into her craft and career during a mock Inside The Actor’s Studio held in the Nelly Goletti Theatre
I believe the first words to escape my promotions for the event were so quick to around scene stealing roles in indie films
mouth when I first heard that Lili Taylor mention that her latest project, Public such as I Shot Andy Warhol, Girls Town,
would be coming to Marist were “shut the Enemies, stars the one and only Johnny and a film she seemed the most proud of-
F*** up!” I quickly realized however, that Depp. Arizona Dream (which was barely released
my enthusiasm about her forthcoming visit After meeting the ever so humble actress in the US but was apparently a huge hit in
was not to be matched by anyone else on herself, I’m certain that she would not be France and curiously enough it also starred
campus. The majority of Marist students surprised nor offended by this as she the one and only Johnny Depp.)
would fail to recognize her face let alone casually made statements such as “art is Although she prefers small art-house
her line of work which is probably why the bigger than you.” She has shaped her career films over the typical overhyped
blockbuster, It would be a shame to place
By Storm Heitman
19
the actress in the same breed as indie- before laughing at her own folly and courtly to shoot a low budget indie film, a decision
princess Parker Posey, for the appeal of fetching it back for them (seriously, the people thought her crazy for making . The
Taylor stems from the fact that she is in a woman doesn’t have a single disingenuous moral of the story was to ignore the general
classification all of her own. Most of my bone in her body).The camera must add consensus that in Hollywood “if you don’t
exposure to Taylor came from her turn on serious height along with weight because the do than you won’t work.” She made her
HBO’s Six Feet Under, perhaps the greatest Lili Taylor in front of my eyes was tinier than resentment of the LA scene clear, saying that
television series ever made. Watching her in an Olson twin. Professor Tommy Zurhellen it is “too business oriented” and working
that show, I came to appreciate the acute delivered a proper introduction/James Lipton there “one can become easily disillusioned.”
honesty to which she brings to a role. Her impersonation before the actress joined him She much prefers to “stay grounded,” and
performances echo simultaneously with an and Dr Lea Graham on stage to begin the only signs on to a film when the role has
intensity and vulnerability, traits which seem discussion. meaning for her to which she said “is hard
to be paralleled by the soft, yet husky sound Among the many topics covered was to articulate, but I get a feeling.”
of her voice. For all these reasons and more advice that she would give to young folks So how exactly does she stay grounded
did I anxiously arrive at the Nelly Goletti an trying to make it in the industry, one she as an artist? For one, she does charity work
hour before she was scheduled to speak. described as having “gotten uglier the last such as performing in Greek theatre for Iraq
Sitting in the theatre, I was stupidly 10 years.” Her advice was to hold off LA veterans suffering PTSD. And when the
overwhelmed by the idea that this woman and New York and to start off in a small movie making machine becomes all too
whose career I respected immensely would enough town that you can get an agent and much for her to handle, she turns to poetry
soon to be standing upon the very same stage plenty of work, a plan that worked out well and reminds herself that as an artist, what
my feet had once tread on, as if that linked enough for her. she does is “bigger than me...I must honor,
us together in some intimate way. I thought Although she now considers herself a full follow it, not worry when it gets hard.”
her to be of a modest caliber from the type blown New Yorker, she grew up in Chicago A reception immediately followed the
of projects she chose to work on, but for and studied at the studio of Joyce Piven discussion, and Lili was kind enough to stick
some odd reason I still expected her to make (mother to actor Jeremy Piven-that guy who around to answer questions from awkward
a grandiose celebrity entrance via helicopter is famous for being a grade A tool both on people like me who stared at her in awe, but
(maybe because she was once in a movie and off the screen). From there, the were too nervous to approach. I mustered
with Julia Roberts and in my head that discussion moved towards the personal up the courage to ask for a photo with her
automatically entitles a person to three body management of her career and in particular and she so kindly obliged. I quickly tried to
guards and a permanently reserved suite at the choices she’s had to make between taking think of something witty to say as a kiss off
the Chateu Marmont). roles in either commercial or independent but only managed to come up with “I can’t
Instead, the movie star stumbled into the films. wait to see Public Enemies!” to which she
row of seats directly behind me and knocked She told a story about a time she turned ever so demurely responded, “thanks! yeah
someone’s cell phone out of their hands down a role in a summer blockbuster in order I make a brief little cameo in that…”
Dancing Right Off MaRist caMpus
The dance shows put on by the Marist But the songs that were picked and the The second act also tapped off on a strong
Dance Club generally bring in a large crowd dances that went along with them weren’t foot with Cassandra Palummo’s performance
of enthusiastic viewers wanting to see their really up to the audience members, anyway, of “We Are Broken”. The marionette theme
friends or family members perform. It wasn’t and I suppose that’s how some things need to was stylish as well as entertaining, with dark
any different April 4th or 5th when Marist be. The choreographers did an interesting job costumes and dollish face paint adding to the
Dance Club presented their spring picking the combinations that they did, and overall mood. On that note, Heather Staats
performance, “I Like The Way You Move”. like last semester, there were some crowd and Kelly Mottolese’s “Reason Why” was
Like last semester, the dancers put on the favorites. The fall semester’s biggie was the chock full of mood, with the dancers in simple
show at the FDR High School, which is just a dance that had a Dark Knight theme, giving costumes giving a genuine lyrical
lovely fifteen minute bus ride away from the the performance a life of it’s own, transforming interpretation of the song to the audience.
Marist Campus. The bus ride is a huge treat, I the dancers in to characters and setting a mood There was a distinct lack of just going through
think. that transcended just the song choice. This the motions in this piece, instead seeming as
With over 500 members, you’d naturally semester, I felt like the biggie was “The if all of the dancers were expressing a bit of
expect a wide range of diversity from the Experiment,” choreographed by Daniel Conner themselves in their movements.
Marist Dance Club, and indeed there was and Carolina Vasquez and put on just at the Over all, the shows put on by the Marist
diversity – just so long as there were still a end of the first act. The dancers went through Dance Club are always entertaining, and
few songs chosen from Britney Spears’s two costumes, one lab coat-oriented and the provide an enjoyable alternative to end-of-the-
amazing repertoire, anyway. I’m not trying to other, after they shed their geeky ensemble, semester work. If you haven’t gone to one
say I was disappointed, but my dream of delightfully suave. As with the Dark Knight yet, I’d seriously suggest checking it out next
seeing a group of people do interpretive dance piece, there were evidently two main time it comes around. Go and see what your
to something like Talking Head’s “Psycho characters, with the rest of the dancers adding fellow students are up to!
Killer” was not quite recognized this time to their miniature story and giving real life and
around (hint: suggestion box?). energy to the entire bit.
By Sarah Dubrule
20
f The gossips girls on the hit CW show and no tee shirts rule when dressing like
have reinvented style for high schoolers. Blair. Unfortunately, this means no Marist
Versace, Marc Jacobs and Zac Posen all hoodies either! Blair’s in control of her
ao
appear on the show as regularly as yellow world and her hair so take heed before
cabs and street vendors and the character’s entering that space bubble.
personalities feed off what they’re wearing Poor little J.(Jenny) After changing from
today. the girl who wants to be old Blair to the girl
sn
Jenny Humphrey’s wearing black eye that is old Serena she’s all tuckered out for
kohl and a leather jacket, you’d better watch the new set of storylines. Luckily her
out. Serena Van Der Woodsen slips on a fashion keeps going with mini dresses,
little party dress? You know Georgina strappy tanks and ever changing hair. Back
h
Sparks is going to be in the next episode. when J was a girl on the step she went for
Supposedly Serena’s style reflects that bright color blocks, like her yellow trench
of drug addicted model Kate Moss. From or that infamous purple Valentino bag. Her
one blonde to another passes the torch of endless hat collection has gone a bit retro
if
so-called boho chic (by Gucci). However, since she went blonder and choppier with
the poor girl is a bit torn between her love her bad girl look. She kept the plaid but
for the dangerous life and her homey upper ditched the pom poms when applying her
east-side penthouse. Pearls and a Chanel will hat style to her micro-mini dresses. No
oi
always make a boho jersey dress more more trying to fit in! This girl does nothing
appropriate for a bonding brunch with the but stand out. Bye-bye funshine Jenny hello
family. Of course once that’s done it’s all all gray and black wardrobe. Good thing
about the clubs and the chunks accessories. she lightened the hair or she’d be easy to
nl
Get her look by adding bangles, necklaces miss this season.
and more necklaces to your polished Vanessa Abrams is the Gossip Girl link
ensemble. to the normal fashion world. As a film hipster
Blair Waldorf really only does one style out to save the world she’s not focusing on
m
and that is flawless. Her hair is never mussed who the next big designer is. Good thing
and her dresses hail from the 19th century she has such an impeccable fashion sense
guide to preppy chic. Her ultimate piece is that she can pick out gorgeous pieces at all
the headband. She rocks this from morning those vintage shops she pops into while
till dawn (getting a measly 2 hours of sleep) milling about Manhattan. Vanessa does
and it holds all those evil little thoughts in hippie chic with a punch. Her chunky gold
her head. Being the queen of mean means jewelry and black lame leggings really spice
By Justine Mann dressing like royalty. Hence the no pants things up while her clothes are soft cotton
or silk tunics. She’ll
never follow the rules
of the upper east-side
but they may start
following her.
Finally there’s
sometimes present,
sometimes in rehab,
Georgina Sparks. When
not tempting Serena into
disaster she’s…
temping someone else?
This girl sports all
leather and black
hardware all the time.
As a girl that lives in the
excess zone she piles on
jewelry and hides her
soulless eyes behind
massive shades.
Georgina may be a
reforming problem
child but she’s got a
spark which will not be
denied.
21
Late Night Disaster
By Melissa Amarianos
When I heard the news that Late Night host One major concern that O’Brien cult The banter between Fallon and his house
Conan O’Brien was stepping down from his followers such as myself have is that with the band The Roots cannot compare in any way to
post I was shocked. O’Brien is scheduled to new earlier time slot is: Can he still be as cutting the intense love/hate staring battles between
take over The Tonight Show in place of Jay edge and provocative in his sketches? I O’Brien and his drummer Max Weinberg. When
Leno, another late night favorite. The choice personally can’t wait to see how he will reinvent he interviews guests such as Drew Barrymore,
of the NBC network to make these changes himself for his new job on The Tonight Show. Fallon seems more concerned with telling his
comes in the wake of Leno announcing his I have tried to keep an open mind about own stories than listening to theirs. It is the job
retirement, however this may have been a rash Jimmy Fallon taking the place of O’Brien. Since of a late night host to be funny and interact
decision since he still wants to be on television Fallon was a regular on NBC’s Saturday Night respectfully with celebrities, maybe even
and has apparently been offered his own prime Live it was not a difficult stretch for the network occasionally taking them out of their comfort
time variety show which will air on NBC in the to consider the one time leading name on the zones. Every time I watch him interact with
fall. show to be a natural for a spot on Late Night. someone famous I feel like I am watching a
I have been to two live taping of Late Night One of Fallon’s most famous sketches on SNL Fallon biography.
with Conan O’Brien and have been a devoted was “Weekend Update”. He worked with Tina Fallon’s skits such as”7th Floor West” are
fan since my high school years.He had humble Fey on the sketch and even though she often overthought. I understand that the skit is
beginnings as a comedy writer for Saturday stole the show he was still pretty entertaining. supposed to be making fun of reality shows
Night Live and The Simpsons. He joked My ability to keep an open mind about and teen dramas such as The Hills but it
constantly on the show about attending Fallon’s performance has been increasingly completely misses the mark. In his attempt to
Harvard (which he did) and is both intelligent dwindling as I continue to watch the show be snarky and alternative, the fake drama falls
and sassy. What makes him great is his ability week after week. At first I thought maybe he flat. Nobody cares about the drama on The Hills
to come up with unique sketches such as when was just nervous, after all he does have big and people care even less about a parody of a
he visited F.A.O Schwartz in NYC, and his brand shoes to fill. His awkward introduction stupid reality drama that is not entertaining.
of humor that is both self-deprecating and sequence in which he often pretends to bowl Maybe Fallon should hang out with Andy
physical. when he tells a “good” joke is awkward and Sandberg for awhile or at least stop trying to
Over the years O’Brien has come to conduct usually gets only pity applause from the be something he is not. The sketch “Lick it for
his show like clockwork. He knows how to be audience. His monologue is not witty and he Ten” (dollars) is also incredibly pointless and
funny without being obnoxious and his does not have any form of personality often the stuff people are supposed to be
interviews with celebrities are memorable. He whatsoever when delivering the jokes. He objectified to lick (such as a bowling ball) looks
is not afraid to be over the top and his comedy speeds through the opening, telling one joke clean and perfectly sanitized.
can range from outrageous to highly after the other. Really Jimmy shouldn’t you I really hope Jimmy Fallon can improve with
sophisticated. It is hard to deny that Obrien have more experience with this by now… after time. I am not expecting much though, and
has a personality all his own. all you are a comic right? ultimately I am just anxiously anticipating the
return of Conan this June.
22
puRsuing the DReaM (hOuse)
anD hOw pRiORity pOints DestROyeD the DReaM
When I was a bright-eyed and bushy-tailed 3. We weren’t crazy about the option of 9E
freshman, I remember sitting in rapt attention (the penthouse), but wouldn’t be upset if that By Christie Gorman
as my orientation leaders told me everything was our only option.
about Marist I would need to know. One of the When lists for housing
aspects about Marist that struck me as a were posted, we were thrilled
fantastically good idea was the priority point to be the fifth section of girls
system. It seemed to be an honest, fair system to pick our house. We high-
to give a reward to those students who work fived each other in joy, because
especially hard. Now, two years into my Marist this meant we were pretty much
education, I’ve got to say that this system of guaranteed to get Fulton. We
priority points is at best, flawed. had attended all the meetings,
Mid-April, I, like all of you, was herded asked all our questions, and we
through the process of housing selection. I was were ready to pick the house
my group leader, and was determined to get the of our dreams. I walked into
best possible house for my small group of four the room selection area with a
girls. We have a combined priority point list of our top six houses. One
average of 35.5, so we were feeling pretty house was designated to be a
confident about our chances of getting the male house, one was taken, but
house of our dreams. It didn’t take much 11D was available. We strode
discussing for us to decide that we wanted to in confidently, and requested
live in the coveted Lower Fulton. It is almost that house, only to be shot
brand-new! No roommates! Much closer to down. members of the track team, intramural sports
campus than Upper Fulton! Right by the tennis Why? The people at the table oh-so- enthusiasts, and double majors and minors
courts! After sitting down with a floor plan of condescendingly explained to us that we could galore. You can’t tell me we don’t deserve a
Lower Fulton, the four of us decided that the not open a new house because they cannot third choice!
highest praises could be sung for almost any have every house in Fulton filled halfway up. And we’re not the only people who have
one house there. But as a group, we made a few It would be unfair to the people who pick after gotten stiffed by the priority point system.
decisions: us. The people who have fewer priority points Think about the entire male population of
1. We do NOT want to live with only four than us. Didn’t you attend the information Marist College. Why are they so segregated?
people in one house. The reason we didn’t go session? You should know this! If we were to embrace this idea of priority points,
in a group with the rest of our friends is because So we were given two options: a four- we would have one master list of all housing
we wanted to meet new people. A year in person house and 15A. We were given the groups on campus, and would progress
Gartland easily proves that if you’re not forced option of deferring our pick, but when we straight down this list. Now, I know the higher-
to interact with new people, you won’t. asked about this option, about how long we ups at Marist would cringe at the idea of mixed-
2. We hated the idea of 15A. This house would have to wait, we were given no definitive gender housing, but that’s not what I’m
has a side bared to all passing traffic: security answer. It might take hours, days even. We advocating. I’m just saying that we shouldn’t
vehicles, party girls on Tuesdays, Fridays, and exchanged worried glances and quickly spoke: have certain houses pre-designated as male or
Saturdays, and even the occasional passerby Would it be worth it to wait until possibly female, especialy 75% of the nicest ones to one
from the city of Poughkeepsie. We just didn’t tomorrow to pick? What if all the houses in gender. What happens if all the men on campus
think we would feel safe here. Plus, it doesn’t Fulton filled up? In the end, we decided that have higher priority points than the women?
even face the green, again, lessening our chance deferral as was explained to us was not a viable Only a few of these upstanding students would
for interaction with new people. option. Resignedly, we agreed to 15A. be able to live in their dream house, because
I’m just curious as to we must save some of the elite houses for the
what exactly we got priority ladies lower down the list!
for. We had the points to live It doesn’t make sense to have a priority
anywhere on campus, but point system that allegedly gives the best pick
got all of two choices.. Now, to the best students, but has all of these
someone with less priority caveats. You will have fewer options if you are
points than us is living in our male, even if you have the same points as the
dream house, a house we women. You will only have two options for a
had to work hard for. Within house. Housing will accuse you of not
my group of four attending required meetings if you question
housemates, we have club their logic. Smaller groups will be given the least
presidents, publication savory options, just so the larger groups (with
editors, tutors, TAs, fewer points) still have a shot at obtaining the
dedicated band members, dream. The system is too arbitrary to be given
honor society inductees, a name like “priority points,” and needs to be
mended.
23
The Importance of
College Relationships
By Sarah Briggs
As my time here at Marist comes to an end, From the first relationship, I learned that it is from people willingly choosing to allow it to
I’d like to think that I’ve learned a thing or two, is important to be able to be open-minded, happen or just a lack of communication over
given that I have incurred quite a debt these whether it be deciding to partake in an activity time. Nevertheless, I have been fortunate to
past four years. One of the things I have learned the other likes (for me that was Frisbee) or just have a few stick by me and comfort me through
is the importance of the relationships you share listening to their ideas and emotions without it all, particularly one best friend, Melissa, who
with people during your college years that’d responding irrationally. However, while being I met through this very magazine. It is such
I’d like to share as some form of advice to my open-minded is significant, you shouldn’t friends that you know you’ll always be able to
fellow Marist students. change yourself completely or sacrifice things count on to be there for many years to come.
First off, let me clarify that when I say that you truly believe in, nor should they. That I’ve also come to learn just how important
relationships, I’m not just talking about the kind can ultimately lead to a dishonest relationship. the relationship you share with your family is.
that’d you share with a significant other. I’m If you aren’t being completely honest with Like the saying goes, blood is thicker than water,
also talking about the relationships shared with yourself then you’re not being honest with and no matter how much distance there is
friends and family. Furthermore, I’m talking them. Believe me, dishonest relationships are between you and your family, in the end you
about the relationship you share with yourself. easy to break and hard to repair. can count on them to be there for you and
Something I have learned in general about My second relationship taught me when support you.
any relationship is that no matter how long put in new and unfamiliar situations, your Overall, no matter what kind of relationship,
you know a person, it doesn’t mean you’re significant other can really show their true I personally learned that the most important tool
ever going to run out of things to learn about nature, which can be a welcome surprise or a that determines the success (or lack thereof) of
them. I have known my sister all my life, and disappointment. I also learned that being in a the relationship is communication. When
yet I only learned about a year ago in France relationship is a team effort. It’s like being carried out and received properly, it can result
that she was afraid of heights. I learned that tennis partners; one person cannot do all the the creation and continuation of a successful
the hard way by taking her up to the top of the work by themselves if they want the team to relationship. When miscommunication occurs,
Strasbourg Cathedral, the sixth tallest cathedral be successful. though, is when the trouble starts and can
in the world. In terms of my friendships here at Marist, inevitably lead to damaging and, at worst, even
To get it out of the way, let’s start off with the most important thing I learned is that, as destroying a relationship.
the kind of relationship one may share with a cliché as it may sound, your true friends are In the end, though, the most important
significant other, even if it is with someone the ones who stick by you no matter what. relationship, I have learned, is the one you have
you’re not “Facebook official” with. I have Personally, I’ve had quite a few storms come with yourself. You have to be able to love and
had two boyfriends here at Maris. The first I my way, from the breakup between me and my respect yourself for who you are before others
dated for about a year and a half while the first boyfriend to my most recent breaking of can do the same for you and before you can do
second I dated for a few months. Despite the my foot and rolling my ankle, which has the same for others. When that happens, you’ll
difference in length of time, I’m confident resulted in me needing to have a cast for three have people who truly appreciate you, who you
saying I have learned from both. months, including for my graduation this May. can create memories with and have successful
I’ve lost friends during these times; whether it relationships with for a lifetime.
24
Mike Arteaga’s Health & Fitness Center
To Join? or Not to Join?
By Christine Urgola
It is obvious that it is not particularly cheap Upon entering the sports center, the first variety of trainers to assist members with the
to be a student at Marist College. There are thing I noticed about Mike Arteaga’s was MedX strengthening circuits, 30 minute circuits
many additional expenses that are incurred cleanliness; it was in pristine condition. The designed for members with little time to exercise.
during the year; textbooks, project supplies, floors were immaculate, the walls looked freshly They allow a full-body workout with free aid
are only a few that come to mind. However, painted, and the machines seemed brand new. from any trainer that was free. Directly next to
somewhere in the close to $40,000 we expend While I was impressed by the look and feel this program was ‘The Healthy Back and Neck
each year, there is a great facility included in of the gym, I knew that I needed to take some Program’ was meant to help those suffering
our tuition that contains quality equipment in classes and check out any training options from chronic back or neck pain. It was refreshing
order to maintain the fitness of athletes and before giving it a rave review. There were a to see that people who needed extra support in
the average Marist student alike: the McCann wide variety of classes to choose from learning how to train properly, did not need to
Center. So why would anyone venture to incur including Group Power, Group Step, Group spend extra cash on a personal trainer.
an added cost for a facility that is seemingly Centergy, Group Groove, Group Kick, Group One of my personal favorite aspects of the
the same butoff campus? Ride and Group Active, along with a variety of gym is the Cardio Cinema. Located on the first
While College Activities provides dance, Aquatic Aerobic classes and Mixed and Gentle floor of the gym near the women’s locker rooms,
yoga and Pilates classes, they are often closed Yoga classes. this fitness area is a dark room with a huge flat-
out before even a fraction of Marist students I opted for Active, a ‘beginner’ class with screen television that plays a new flick every
are given a chance to sign up. I was lucky step moves, abdominal and weight training. two days. Where is the exercise, you ask? The
enough to get a spot in both $3 Pilates The class was described as “perfect for the stadium “seating” consists of a front row of
sessions and with this workout, combined with infrequent exerciser,” but I challenged myself low recumbent bicycles, the second row a bit
all of the possibilities at the McCann center, I by increasing my weights. My only complaint higher with treadmills and a third row of tall-
still was not satisfied, so I decided to was the music in the class; it was not very standing ellipticals. I had finally found the
investigate some of my options. upbeat or motivating. perfect cardio workout for the lazy college
Planet Fitness was only $15 per month but Group Centergy and Gentle Yoga, however, student!
it was inconvenience, as the closest one were by far my favorite classes. Centergy was I finally headed back upstairs to plug my
resides in Hyde Park. Before even exploring a combination of fast-paced yoga moves and iPod into one of the machines and start
the obvious choice, I received a phone call on an abdominal intensive Pilates series. Gentle running. As I stared out the full-length
my cell phone about Mike Arteaga’s Health & Yoga was perfect as a night class, this 75- windows, exerting myself on the treadmill and
Fitness Center located directly across the minute class was very relaxing, yet challenging. wiping beads of sweat off my brow, I can see
street. I was offered a free one week trial at Overall, as far as classes went, I was very the McCann Recreation Center across Route
the gym and while I never seriously considered satisfied. 9. and I still feel as if the extra expense per
joining for an extra $30 per month, I was looking After leaving my class I decided to try out month is worth it to be a member at Mike
to take advantage of some exercise classes. the weight and cardio machines. I observed a Arteaga Health & Fitness Center.
25
My Modest Proposal
As a nation we are at a critical point. Every of this plan is against improving the education
By Mike Cresci
and, if a valid use for them exists, be granted
day we are presented with a list of economic of our children and therefore should be the requested help.
problems that at times may seem disregarded. With over 3.8 million Americans At first glance it may be difficult to see how
insurmountable and hard working people are at over 300 pounds and an estimated 25% this will help the economy but the advantages
living in fear that the comfortable life they’ve qualifying as “obese” there is no doubt the are numerous. A sizeable portion of the slaves
earned might be taken from them. Meanwhile amount of money in question would be with be sent to the Midwest (their families may
we struggle with ever rising obesity and a significant. Furthermore the 300,000 deaths accompany them) to be part of a national
rapidly spreading apathy when it comes to caused every year by obesity would decrease agriculture plan. With free workers the cost
solving this weight gain nightmare. In 1962, and public awareness about the dangers of would be low. This agriculture plan would
research showed that the percentage of obesity being overweight would increase. As more and provide the slaves with healthy food and not
in America’s population was at 13%. By 1980 it more generations work towards thinning out, it interfere with existing farms businesses.
had risen to 15% and by 1994 to 23%. By the would become a cultural norm to remain thin. Failing farms could even be granted slaves
year 2000 the obesity progression in America Let me say that thin does not mean unhealthy; and enter the program as a means of staying
had reached an unprecedented 31%. merely a healthy average weight is the goal. afloat. With food provided small business
For the good of my country I’ve devised would be able to thrive by taking on free
two plans to deal with both problems head on. 2 employees. Meanwhile countless jobs
My second plan of action is almost certainly openings would suddenly exist as all
1 more effective but will most likely meet more Overweights would lose employment. The
The government must take an active role in resistance. Be sure not to judge it without truly unemployment problem would instantly
purging America of its childbearing hips. For considering the benefits. become a thing of the past. By the time most of
too long the cellulite sympathizers in Congress Using a similar, but more lenient, version of the slaves earned their freedom the economy
have let cholesterol run free. It’s time to start the Gluttony Tax’s weight determination would be so strong that jobs would exist to
taking all those extra pounds and converting method people will be classified as Acceptable, assimilate freed slaves back into society.
them into cash. I propose immediate legislation On Watch, or Overweight. Then all who qualify The issue of fairness will undoubtedly be
to implement what I call a “Gluttony Tax.” Why in the last category will be put into an organized raised by opponents of this plan but they
should those who choose to disregard their form of slavery. Special human rights laws will overlook a major consideration. Is it fair that
health and appearance be allowed to continue be put in place to prevent them from any serious those of us who choose to stay at a healthy
poisoning our children with their poor example ill treatment. They would then remain enslaved weight suffer any longer? The obese are
without any punishment? Therein lays an until they lost the necessary weight. Freedom clogging society’s arteries and at this turning
unexplored source of revenue. would serve as the ideal motivation. Individuals point in American history is it crucial we do the
There would be only one immediate cost. like you or me could apply for one or more slaves necessary bypass surgery.
The government would temporarily provide
doctors to evaluate each person in America.
Based on height, build and age each citizen
would be given a card bearing a number. If
their weight is over that number they have 6
months to lose the weight. If they fail to do so
they will be hit with a 25% income tax. If over
the course of the next year they still feel it
necessary to remain both unhealthy and
unsightly they will have to sustain a 50%
income tax. Of course medical conditions that
make weight loss difficult we’ll be taken into
consideration. This is not a plan of strict rules
but rather a flexible effort to get every citizen to
a healthy weight.
The benefits of such a plan would be
substantial. The tax dollars could go to
immediate use in numerous areas. Urban areas
could be revamped and become safer. Roads
could receive needed repairs, creating jobs in
the process. Education could receive a massive
(no pun intended) amount of money towards
books, computers, updated facilities, better
personnel and so much more. Surely any critic
26
Coolest House on Campus
Close your eyes and take a journey with standard appliances.
me; a trip into the ideal college dorm room. I Take, for example the
bet what you’re imagining closely resembles life sized Randy Moss
what the men of Gartland House E3 have Fathead posted on
managed to put together. They were able to the far wall. And
transform a first floor Gartland apartment into hovering just to the
one of the most comfortable living left of Moss’
environments I’ve seen on campus. facemask is yet
Upon first stepping into the doorway, you another Nerf Gun.
notice a large tapestry of a prized buck. This, This one mounted on
along with three rich mahogany bookstands the wall like a hunting
gives the living room a rather “homey” feel. rifle is the N-strike
Adorning the dark bookstands are various Longshot CS-6.
sports memorabilia and autographs, photos of I took the time to
families and the house DVD collection. From explore one of the
here you may take a seat on the full couch or three bedrooms.
any of the rooms many chairs and play a game Room C belongs to
or watch something on the 46” widescreen TV Jim Urso and Mike
placed in front of the window. You may also Walsh, two sports
notice the Bose surround sound system which communications majors and a Yankee and Red The room of Billy Berard and Jack Famiglio
has caused many parties to bust out of control. Sox fan respectively. Mike and James have holds another bookshelf posted on the wall
decorated their room with lots of sports and next to a movie tribute to Christian Bale. There
movie memorabilia. is also a wheelchair at Billy’s desk used to
Walsh has many perform, “crazy wheelchair stunts.” And folks,
Patriots things and a I’ve seen them and they are quite impressive.
framed Kevin Garnett More so than just the look of this house, it
picture along with a is the vibe that it creates that makes it amazing.
large pirate flag to It’s the reason that every weekend twenty or
symbolize his so people gather here for parties, or how at
personality. any given time there are ten to twelve students
Watching over the present inside its’ walls. It can be as big and
two as they fade of to important as the hand drawn highlander
dreamland every picture in the bathroom and the “rock em sock
night is a Casino em robots” game on the coffee tables, or as
poster featuring small and nearly unnoticeable as the two
Robert DeNiro, arms antique lamps that James’ mother picked up
folded and an for a dollar at a yard sale. When you put
approving look on everything here together, you only get one
his face as he thing. And that thing is the coolest house on
validates their room. campus.
The two also have a
In normal houses you may expect to see
blank white walls, or a few random scattered
sort of tribute to Marist athletics with
newspaper front-pages of the womens’
By Casper Vigil
posters. This is not the case in E3 where you basketball team, with
will find a large Johnny Cash poster, along with small Fitz and Viani
a Queen poster with Freddy Mercury posters and
flamboyantly posing on stage. Also, I can schedules.
guarantee that this is the only place I have At brief glance
ever seen a poster of Albert Einstein joyfully into the other walls
riding his bicycle. One other thing of note is there is more to
the variety of nerf guns scattered strategically surprise you. Will
throughout the room. As I’m told by resident Gunther and James
Mike Walsh, “when you’re in E3, you never Bartosik’s room is full
know when war may break out.” of band posters like
If you choose to journey further into the The Who and artsy
house with me, we find ourselves in the kitchen. paintings that go
Not generally the strong suits of college boys’ great with the
houses, but these gentlemen have made the darkness of the room.
kitchen their own. Of course all the amenities Gunther ’s hockey
are present, toaster, microwave, and blender, jersey also adorns
but there is much more to this kitchen than the wall over his bed.
