A V Star Trike With a Difference

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					 CLUB VIRAGO WA (Inc)                         NEWSLETTER                          SEPTEMBER 2008 EDITION

 From the Presidents Desk
 Hello Everyone,

 What a month, movie premier, birthdays and a great day out riding. What more can we ask for!!

 First up we saw some of our members take a trip down the red carpet at the premier of "Dark
 Karma" a local production about a bikie. Well what can I say, not quite Hollywood eh?

 The ride this month to Mandurah was lead by Columbus & TEC 99 (with rain clouds on the horizon)
 but Columbus said it was actually 99's ride so no new roads and no rain. It started a bit chilly but
 turned into beautiful riding day by the time we got to the Vernon Arms for lunch ( for more details
 see Ride Report on page 5).

 Afterwards, several members descended on the Peel Community Health complex to visit Buddha
 who was cooped up in hospital for the past week with an infected finger (we won't ask where he put
 it to get that way). On leaving the hospital he got a tear in his eye as the bikes started up then
 promptly told us to go. All the best mate and speedy recovery.

 As I stated last month Christmas is approaching fast, so a sub-committee has been formed to han-
 dle preparations for the Xmas party. This is lead by Kushee and Poo Bear, so if you wish to help in
 any way please contact one of them and chip in. We have tentatively booked Point Walter Rec.
 again for this year and have sorted some entertainment out. A theme of OP SHOP POSH will be
 the go (ball gowns, suits, evening wear, and bling bling) so get down to your local Good Sammy’s,
 Vinnie’s etc. and deck your self out. Also we are looking at organising an event on the following
 Sunday morning (late morning of course) but more details at the meeting.

 Stay upright


                                                  V Star
                                                  With a
                                               (Pix courtesy of Brutus)

This is YOUR newsletter folks, so how about some contributions? There are some great writers amongst us,
and as you can see we sometimes have difficulty filling these pages with interesting stuff! So, get us some
stories, or interesting articles about bikes or any other subject you think the members of our club will be inter-
ested in and send them to Chris or Ray.
 CLUB VIRAGO WA (Inc)                              NEWSLETTER                       SEPTEMBER 2008 EDITION

                FORTHCOMING RIDES                                       MEMBERSHIP DEFINITIONS:
 Sunday September 14th: An informal meeting at               FULL MEMBER – Owner and rider of a Yamaha cruiser
 the E-shed Markets Fremantle 9.00 am. Morning               motorcycle with unrestricted access to club facilities and
 tea may be followed by a ride if you feel like it -         benefits and voting rights at all Club maaeetings and
 come prepared with a full tank of fuel.                     includes free access to special subsidised events.
 September 27th : Long Weekend overnighter to                ASSOCIATE - One who does not participate in club rides &
 Roadkill’s place. Details to follow                         wishes to maintain an active involvement in the club; or,
                                                             one who participates in Club rides but rides a cruising
 Sunday October 12th: An informal meeting at the             motorcycle other than a specified Yamaha Cruiser (please
 E-shed Markets Fremantle 9.00 am. Morning tea               check if not sure). Associates will be sent a copy of the
 may be followed by a ride if you feel like it - come        monthly Club news letter – ‘The Spark’ & are eligible in all
 prepared with a full tank of fuel                           subsidised club events.
 Sunday October 26th: Columbus & 99 ride                     PILLION – One who participates in Club activities primarily
 through the inner wheatbelt.                                as a pillion passenger. A Pillion may not necessarily be
                                                             associated with the same machine. Also eligible in all
 Sunday November 9th: An informal meeting at                 subsidised events
 the E-shed Markets Fremantle 9.00 am. Morning
                                                             NB - Please ask for a copy of the Club’s Constitution for a
 tea may be followed by a ride if you feel like it -         complete breakdown of requirements, benefits and
 come prepared with a full tank of fuel.                     privileges.
 Saturday 6th December: Bikes Unlimited Charity
 Toy Ride followed by the Virago Club Christmas
 Party & Sleepover Theme Op Shop Posh!!
 Mark this date in the diary!!
                                                                        Oldies Corner……
 Sunday 7th December: Xmas Party Recovery                    Neil Howat                               10th Sept
 Ride ( known as ‘Early Recoverer’s Ride’). More             Doug Peak                   Douga        12th Sept
 details next month or check website                         Pete Rogan                  Pete the Pom 14th Sept
                                                             Richard Kaniecki            Ric          17th Sept
                                                             Shez Beard                  Rebel        19th Sept
         RIDE MEETING TIME AND PLACE                         Dave Dodimead               Tarmac       10th Sept
All club rides start from the car park opposite              Geoff Finnis                Woody        24th Sept
McDonald’s Family Restaurant - Corner of Canning
Hwy & Sleat Rd, Applecross. Assemble at 8:30am.
Departure is 9.00am sharp. Please fill your tank before
Bundy (Brett O’Leary) is our Tour Master. Should you
have any queries of the above rides or wish to make             Bikers Against Child Abuse
enquiries about all other rides, phone him on
0407 947 498
                                                                     W.A. Chapter Inc.
                                                                BACA Hotline 0407 199 015

    Membership forms are available at club nights, monthly
      rides or by phoning The President OR Secretary.

This is the yearly fee to be a member of this very social
and fun club.

•       Associate Membership:         $30
•       Pillion Membership:           $30
•       Full Membership:              $30
NB: Members are eligible for many subsidised events.
             Send cheques or money order to:
     Club Virago PO Box 564 Morley WA              6943

                                                                                                                Page 2
  CLUB VIRAGO WA (Inc)                         NEWSLETTER                           SEPTEMBER 2008 EDITION

                Sergeant’s Mess                                              Deals on Wheels
                                                          The following businesses have kindly offered Club
  Oh Oscar!!                                              Virago member’s preferential pricing on the goods
                                                          and services they supply.
                                                          Members are encouraged to                       support       these
 Where are you
                                                          organizations at every opportunity.
 With many club members all askew
                                                          Remember to present your current membership card
 Glad you have not been around                            when requesting discounts.
 To see our riding faults astound.                        Five Star Yamaha                   (08) 9430-4090
                                                          54 Rockingham Road, Hamilton Hill.
 Oh Oscar
                                                          Causeway Yamaha                                 (08) 9361-8244
                                                          115 Albany Highway, Victoria Park.
 Our hearts despair when you’re away
 No funds for the Club on that day.                       Highway Yamaha                                  (08) 9274-6744
                                                          31 Victoria Street, Midland.
 We rejoice when you’re not here
                                                          Cully’s Motorcycle Centre                        (08) 9344-4444
 When you are …. you fill us with fear!!                  9/511 Wanneroo Road, Balcatta.

 Oh Oscar, Oh Oscar …….                                   Total Motorcycle Accessories        (08) 9472-3030
 Oh Oscar!!!                                              1028 Albany Highway, East Victoria Park.

                                                                       Club Virago Wearhouse
        Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits,
              One for the girls by Pam Ayres
                                                         Get noticed wearing the latest “new century”
                                                         fashionable club gear. Simply see the Property Officer
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
                                                         at any club meeting to purchase the following:-
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,             Club car stickers (yellow) ........................$1.00
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.            Club Virago badge (round) ......................$6.00
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,             Club Virago Caps (new stock) .................$15.00
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.                      Club Virago T-Shirts (new style) ..............$25.00
'Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.         Club Virago “shaped, iron on” patch.........$ 5.00
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,            Club Virago windcheater ..........................$25.00
I wish I'd looked after me tits.
When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,         Individual “sew on” badge ....Two for                $10.00
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,          Club Bandanna (grey and black) ...... ..….$ 8.00
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I wish I'd looked after me tits.                     Club square metal badge………………….$ 8.00
When I was young I got whistles and hoots,               The Club Shirts look really great with their black and
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,        gold collars and represent good buying at $25.00.
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.                     All stock is available from Gina (99) and on sale at
When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,            each monthly meeting
Cruising around with my favourite suitors.                        Phone 0418 670 656 OR 9286 2825
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I wish I'd looked after me tits.
When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they're less in the air and more near the floor,      If you have anything to sell then please send your advertisement
                                                         through to the Editor no later than by the end of the first week of the
When people see less of them rather than more,
                                                                                 month addressed to:
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.
                                                                cwebber@westnet.net.au OR Phone 9339 7790

                                                                                                                      Page 3
   CLUB VIRAGO WA (Inc)                                   NEWSLETTER                               AUGUST 2008 EDITION

             No Photo’s this month, so have a laugh at our memory impaired friends instead.
                                    We all face it eventually………….

 A     n elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a
       number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was
 able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the
                                                                      A      man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought a new hearing
                                                                            aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art.
                                                                      It's perfect.'
 gentleman to hear 100%                                               'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
 The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and         'Twelve thirty.'
 the doctor said, 'Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be
 really pleased that you can hear again.'
 The gentleman replied, 'Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
 I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my
                                                                      M     orris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a
                                                                      A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street
 will three times!'                                                   with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
                                                                      A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said,

 T   wo elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting
     on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and
 says: 'Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and
                                                                      'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
                                                                      Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot
                                                                      mamma and be cheerful.''
 pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?'                 The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart mur-
 Slim says, 'I feel just like a newborn baby.'                        mur; be careful.'
 'Really!? Like a newborn baby!?'
 'Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.'
                                                                      T    he elderly boss walked into the office one morning not
                                                                           knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open.

 A    n elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and
      after eating, the wives left the table and went into the
                                                                      His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when
                                                                      you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss
                                                                      told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into
 The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last night we         his office puzzled by the question.
 went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would        As he finished his paperwork, he suddenly noticed his fly was
 recommend it very highly.'                                           open, and zipped it up. He then understood his assistant's ques-
 The other man said, 'What is the name of the restaurant?'            tion about his 'garage door.'
 The first man thought and thought and finally said, 'What is the     He headed out for a cup of coffee and paused by her desk to
 name of that flower you give to someone you love?                    ask, 'When my garage door was open, did you see my Hummer
 You know... The one that's red and has thorns.'                      parked in there?'
 'Do you mean a rose?'                                                She smiled and said, 'No, I didn't. All I saw was an old mini van
 'Yes, that's the one,' replied the man. He then turned towards       with two flat tires.'
 the kitchen and yelled, 'Rose, what's the name of that restaurant
 we went to last night?'
                                                                      A     little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and
                                                                           pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.. After catch-

 H    ospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being
      discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I
 found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the
                                                                      ing his breath, he ordered a banana split.
                                                                      The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'
                                                                      'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
 bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my
 help to leave the hospital!
 After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel
 him to the elevator.
                                                                      C      ouple in their nineties are both having problems remember-
                                                                             ing things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that
                                                                      they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing
 On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.             things down to help them remember
 'I don't know,' he said. 'She's still upstairs in the bathroom       Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his
 changing out of her hospital gown.'                                  chair. 'Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
                                                                      'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?'

 A     senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
      'So I hear you're getting married?' 'Yep!'
 'Do I know her well?' 'Nope!'
                                                                      'Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember
                                                                      it?' she asks.
 'This woman, is she good looking?' 'Not really.'                     'No, I can remember it.'
 'Is she a good cook?' 'Naw, she can't cook too well.'                'Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should
 'Does she have lots of money?' 'Nope! Poor as a church               write it down, so's not to forget it?'
 mouse.'                                                              He says, 'I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream
 'Well, then, is she good in bed?' 'I don't know.'                    with strawberries.'
 'Why in the world do you want to marry her then?'                    'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it
 'Because she can still drive!'                                       down?' she asks.
                                                                      Irritated, he says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember

 T    hree old guys are out walking.
      First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
 Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
                                                                      it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for
                                                                      goodness sake!'
                                                                      Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the
 Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'                      old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of
                                                                      bacon and eggs.
                                                                      She stares at the plate for a moment. And says, 'Where's my
                                                                      toast ?'

Page 4
CLUB VIRAGO WA (Inc)                        NEWSLETTER                          SEPTEMBER 2008 EDITION

                                           August Ride Report

                                    DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA”

We were asked by the Tour Master if we could do the August Ride. We had a great ride almost
mapped out but it finished about as far as you can get from our temporary home (that week) in Man-
durah. So we sat down with our maps and remembered the Vernon Arms – not far from Mandurah and
a very suitable lunch stop. OK – so we had a Finish Point, now how to get there? Back to the maps
and we remembered some really nice roads, and a morning tea stop, that the Patriots had used for
their last Poker Ride. Add them to the plan, check the distances/times, add a few twists (as expected)
and Bingo – the (a little bit of this and a little bit of that) Ride was created. We had Highways, Free-
ways, Scenic Hill Roads, long straight country roads, curving bumpy farm roads (a few kilometres of
“spacer road” – make space for lunch) and everything else in between.

The day dawned cool but fine and after assurances that it was a 99 ride, wet weather gear was left in
the bags and some 20 bikes (sorry – we forgot to get a final count) headed off on the usual Kwinana
Freeway Escape to Thomas Road. Passed through Byford and headed for the hills with a very pleas-
ant scenic ride to the Jarrahdale General Store where morning tea was taken on the verandah. All re-
plenished, we headed back down the hill on another scenic ride and back to SW Highway. A quick run
to Pinjarra, impressing some riders heading the other way with our formation, a short stop for fuel and
we were off into the farmlands under the watchful eyes of the local stock. Another loooong straight
cruise then we threw in a few curves and bumps (stomach spacer) to make sure everyone was still
awake and ready for a big lunch. Overcoming our only problem – a slipped disc, not in 99s back luck-
ily, but the one on her headlight – back to the drawing board Bundy!! - we continued our rural cruise. A
few more detours, and we reached the Vernon Arms where we were welcomed by Neil & Kirsten who
were not able to join us earlier. The Vernon Arms did us proud with our own room and they then pro-
ceeded to surprise us all by serving all the meals at almost the same time and we all surprised Clancy
with a single-serve birthday cake and rousing song. All fed and watered we all headed off in our sepa-
rate directions with a number of us taking a detour to visit Buddah and his infected finger in hospital
and bought him a pink butterfly balloon to cheer him up.

Thanks to all who came and we hope you enjoyed it. No missed turns, a very pleasant ride and a few
more roads to add to our memory banks. See you all on the highways.

Columbus and 99.

                                                            We saw this bike in Banff, Canada, and
                                                            initially thought it was a trike. It took a
                                                              closer inspection to realise it actually
                                                              has trainer wheels. They’re properly
                                                             engineered for the purpose and would
                                                              make it possible for some-one with a
                                                              disability or even just a lack of confi-
                                                                   dence to enjoy motorcycling.

If you have anything to sell or advertise then please send your details though to the editor no later than the
end of the first week of the month addressed to cwebber@westnet.net.au OR phone Chris on 9339 7790

                                                                                                            Page 5
 CLUB VIRAGO WA (Inc)                       NEWSLETTER                    SEPTEMBER 2008 EDITION

                                                                      FOR SALE

                                                  Air Pump for suspension                 $50.00
                                                  Moto-Dry Motorcycle boots, high heel with zip, size
                                                  8 hardly worn, with built up soles and heels $60
                                                  Charlie Coote Bangers 0419 049 556

                                                                 FOR SALE MISC

                                                             Preparing For Backyard Blitz
                                                  We have a selection of stuff to get rid of before we
                                                  have a ‘pull through’ done on our backyard and ga-
                                                  rage. If someone doesn’t turn up and take it away it
                                                  will go in the Skip Bin. Major items:
                                                  12’ x 9’ Colourbond Shed with sliding door
                                                  20 plus Blue Agapanthus plants, full size
                                                  Comet 3 Oxy Set (needs hoses)
                                                  Miscellaneous other ‘stuff’, give us a call if you are
     You can view past copies of the Spark and    interested in finding out more.
           more photos on our website:
            www.clubvirago.org.au                 Mono & Chris       0409 106 005       9339 7790

                                                     This bike is a BMW
                                                     and is carrying two
                                                     people on the trip
                                                     shown on the map at
                                                     left. Quite an odys-
                                                     sey when you con-
                                                     sider there is no
                                                     trailer, and they’re
                                                     camping every night.

                                                       Only the frame on this Softail isn’t chromed, and
                                                       check out the artwork on the tank and fenders!

Page 6
CLUB VIRAGO WA (Inc)                            NEWSLETTER                          SEPTEMBER 2008 EDITION

           Club Virago Objectives                               Club Committee and Contact Details
       To promote and encourage the ownership of
       Yamaha Virago and Yamaha XV cruiser                     President: Phil Clegg (Brutus)
       motorcycles.                                            Ph: 0427 590 968
                                                               Email: pclegg1@bigpond.com
       To promote and encourage motorcycling and
       co-operate with kindred bodies in fostering             Vice President: Jeff Haywood (Pee Cee)
       and maintaining motorcycling as a sport.                Ph: 0407 821 856
                                                               Email: haywoods@arach.net.au
       To organise and conduct social outings and              Secretary: Warren Camarri
       encourage good fellowship amongst club                  Ph: 0414 774 559
       members.                                                Email: warren.camarri@dhw.wa.gov.au
       To maintain the prestige of the club and the            Treasurer: Wendy Haywood (Poo Bear)
       sport of motorcycling.                                  Ph: 0409 085 046
                                                               Email: haywoods@arach.net.au
                                                               Webmaster: Ray Constantine (Mono)
           CLUB MEETING DATES                                  Ph: 0409 106 005     9339 7790 (H)
                                                               Email: ray.constantine@westnet.net.au
  September 10th, October 8th, November 12th
                                                               Tour Master: Brett O’Leary (Bundy)
Meetings are held on the second Wednesday of each
                                                               Ph: 0407 947 498 9272 7517 (h)
month at the Attfield Tavern, Cnr Attfield & Herbert
Streets, Maddington at 7:15 pm.                                Email: boleary5@bigpond.net.au
                                                               Editor: Chris Webber
From 6.00 pm join other members for a fabulous pub             Ph: 0411 469 163 (m) 9339 7790 (h)
meal prior to the meeting. Another ‘fun’ night assured.        E-mail. cwebber@westnet.net.au

                          Diary Date                           Please direct all articles for “The Spark” to the
                                                               Editor. Deadline for all articles is the first Monday
                                                               of each month.
          Saturday 6th December Virago
              Club Christmas Party
                                                               Address all mail to: Club Virago WA (Inc),
                  OP SHOP POSH                                                      PO Box 564
                                                                                    Morley WA      6943
                Great Night Assured

The Editor and Club Virago WA (Inc) accepts no responsibility for any advertisement placed in the magazine. Furthermore,
     the views expressed in “The Spark” do not necessarily reflect those of the editor, the committee or its members.

        Return to:-
   Club Virago WA (Inc)
       PO Box 564                                                                                            Stamp
    Morley 6943 WA            ______________________________________________

                    The Spark is the official newsletter of Club Virago WA (Inc)
                               PO BOX 564 MORLEY WA              6934
               Website: www.clubvirago.org.au    Email: webmaster@clubvirago.org.au

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Description: A V Star Trike With a Difference