HARVEST YEARS SENIOR CENTER, INC. NEWS TO BUILD, MAINTAIN AND IMPROVE SENIORS’ CAPACITIES AS A WAY OF LIFE March 2010 FROM THE EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR –TOM BONES May the Luck of the Irish be with us and grant us NO MORE SNOW!. Our Heavy snowfalls have wreaked havoc on our parking lots, our budget, and my back! Too much shoveling out! May brighter, warmer, spring days be ahead for all of us here at The Harvest Years Senior Center. There is plenty going on to keep us hopping until spring and the Easter Bunny arrive, starting with our next Early Bird Supper Club on March 3rd. This month’s early dinner menu includes a traditional Irish feast. Tickets at $7.50 as prices will vary each month depending on the menu. Since so many of you enjoyed our 1st Early Bird Supper Club in February, we have decided to continue scheduling each month. Looking ahead, you can mark your calendar for April 14th. Dinner begins at 4pm, with entertainment to follow. Our Pancake Breakfast originally scheduled for February 13th, will now be held in April – more information to follow. Please plan on joining us for another “chapter” in the Interim HealthCare Series scheduled for March 16th. This month’s topic is entitled Communicating with Your Physician. Looking ahead to April 20, the monthly topic will be Healthy Aging. This series is specifically geared toward our senior citizens and should prove to be very helpful. Our painting is complete – for now. The main dining room, walls, ceiling, trim and crown molding have all been painted. All of our bathrooms have been completed as well. In the coming weeks, we will be looking into some additional spring spruce-up projects. Some of us don’t need to wait for spring… a big thank you to Sharon Larrimore for completing a much needed clean out of our Harvest Years craft room. It is looking good! When it is chilly outside, our members sure know how to keep warm by purchasing chili and bread pudding from the Harvest Years. A huge thank you to all of you that supported our re- scheduled fundraiser. 60+ quarts of chili, and over 30 quarts of bread pudding went home with our members. I hope you all enjoyed. On a very serious note, in the coming months we will be looking for our members to rise to the occasion so to speak, and voice their support for maintaining their senior center. I am sure by now you have heard about the many budget cuts. The Harvest Years Senior Center has weathered last years cut, but may not be so lucky this time next year. We are asking that all members, as well as their family and friends, contact their legislators and let them know just how important this center is to them. Additionally, in the spring, my plan is to invite them to dine with us, so that you will have an opportunity to speak with them personally, and share your views and your concerns. Please put this very important task at the top of your to-do list. If you have an specific questions or topics that you would like to discuss, please see me personally. Thinking warm and sunny thoughts, Sincerely, Thomas C. Bones, Executive Director P.S. Don’t forget to print a Bob Evens Breakfast Coupon and support Harvest Years on March 9th by going to Breakfast. Harvest Years Senior Center will receive a donation of 15% of all checks with a coupon attached. March Menu CALL: 698-4285 FOR LUNCH RESERVATIONS MENU SUBJECT TO CHANGE WITHOUT NOTICE. 2010 Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri 1 2 “MARGUERITE’S” 3 4 5 6 SPAGHETTI W/ MEAT SAUCE SHEPARD’S PIE BEEF TIPS OVER NOODLES CHICKEN & DUMPLINGS PENNE PASTA W/ MIXED VEGETABLES (VEGETABLES IN PIE) BROCCOLI PEAS MARINARA SAUCE HOUSE SALAD TOSSED SALAD BREAD OR ROLLS TOSSED SALAD MIX VEGGIES/HOUSE SALAD BREAD OR ROLLS BREAD OR ROLLS JELLO BREAD OR ROLLS ROLLS OR BREAD BROWNIE DESSERT - APPLESAUCE 4-6 PM:EARLY BIRD SUPPER PUDDING ASSORTED DESSERTS 8 9 10 11 12 13 CUP OF CHICKEN NOODLE SWEDISH MEATBALLS BR. BAKED FLOUNDER LIVER & ONIONS FISH & CHIPS GRILLED CHEESE SAND OVER NOODLES MACARONI & CHEESE MASHED POTATOES/ GRAVY (FRENCH FRIES) CHIPS / PICKLES MIXED VEGETABLES STEWED TOMATOES HARVARD BEETS COLESLAW BROWNIE BREAD OR ROLLS BREAD OR ROLLS BREAD OR ROLLS ROLLS OR BREAD COOKIE FRUIT PUDDING ASSORTED DESSERTS 15 16 17 18 “BIRTHDAY DAY” 19 20 “TOM’S” IRISH STEW LEMON BAKED CICKEN “ST. PATRICK’S DAY” ROAST PORK LOIN / A.S. BAKED TILAPIA (VEGGIES IN STEW) BUTTERED NOODLES HAM & CABBAGE MASHED POTATOES RICE TOSSED SALAD MIXED VEGETABLES RED POTATOES MIXED VEGETABLES BROCCOLI BISCUITS BREAD OR ROLLS BREAD OR ROLLS ROLLS & BREAD BREAD OR ROLLS “SURPRISE” DESSERT FRUIT SHAMROCK JELLO CAKE & ICE CREAM. ASSORTED DESSERTS 22 23 24 25 26 27 TOM’S 3 BEAN CHILI BAKED MEATLOAF / GRAVY HERB ROASTED CHICKEN OLD FASHIONED CUP OF TOMATO SOUP TOSSED SALAD MASHED POTATOES RICE PILAF BEEF STEW GRILLED CHEESE SAND. CORN BREAD BUTTERED CORN GLAZED CARROTS APPLESAUCE CHIPS / PICKLES CAKE ROLLS OR BREAD BREAD OR ROLLS BISCUIT ASSORTED DESSERTS COOKIE BROWNIE PUDDING 29 30 31 “EASTER DINNER” APRIL 1. APRIL 2. CHICKEN PARMASEAN BAKED SALMON/TAR. SAU BAKED HAM/PINEAPPLE TURKEY & CHEESE W/ SPAGHETTI BUTTERED NOODLES SAU ON KAISER CLOSED HOUSE SALAD GREEN BEANS ROSEMARY POTATOES TOSSED SALAD FOR BREAD OR ROLLS BREAD OR ROLLS $5.0 GLAZED CARROTS CHIPS / PICKLES PUDDING JELLO 0 WATERGATE SALAD $5 .00 COOKIE GOOD FRIDAY APRIL 5. APRIL 6. APRIL 7. APRIL 8. APRIL 9. CUP OF BROCCOLI SOUP HOT DOGS B.B.Q. CHICKEN BAKED ZITI W/ MEAT SAUCE CHEESEBURGER CHICKEN SALAD SANDWICH BAKED BEANS ROASTED POTATOES TOSSED SALAD LETTUCE, TOMATO, ONION CHIPS / PICKLES COLE SLAW GREEN BEANS BROCCOLI PASTA SALAD BROWNIE HOT DOG ROLLS ROLLS OR BREAD BREAD OR ROLLS CHIPS / PICKLES CAKE FRUIT PUDDING ASSORTED DESSERTS March Activities 2010 WEATHER PERMITTING * CALL CENTER IF SNOW / ICE IS PRESENT. Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri 1 2 3 9:00 - 11:30 - AVON 4 5 6 10:00 - 11:30 AM. $$ 8:30 - 9:15 AM. - YOGA $$ 9 - 10 AM. - AEROBICS $$ 8:30 - 9:15 AM. - YOGA $$ 10:00 - 11:00 AM. 9:00 - 12:00 NOON $$ 9:30 - 11 AM. - CERAMICS 9-12 -AARP TAX AIDE 500 RUMMY AARP TAX AIDE SERVICE 10-11:30 AM.-PENNY BINGO 10-3 -HARRINGTON SLOTS LINE DANCE CARD CLUB APPOINTMENT ONLY 1-3 PM.-ART CLASS W/ BILL BALLROOM DANCE CLASS CLASS 9:30 - 11:30 AM. 4:00-6:00 PM. $$ 2:00 - 3:30 PM. $$ CRAFTS EARLY BIRD SUPPER CLUB $$ 7 - 8 / 8 - 9 PM. $$ 8 9“BOB EVANS BREAKFAST” 10 11 12 13 9:00 - 1:00 PM. $$ 8:30 - 9:15 AM. - YOGA $$ 9 - 10 AM. - AEROBICS $$ 8:30 - 9:15 AM. - YOGA $$ 10:00 - 11:00 AM. AARP DRIVING SAFETY 9:00 - 12:00 NOON $$ 9:30 - 11 AM. - CERAMICS 9:00 - 12:00 NOON REFRESHER / ADVANCED AARP TAX AIDE SERVICE 10:00 - 11:30 AM. AARP TAX AIDE SERVICE LINE DANCE 10:00 - 11:30 AM. APPOINTMENT ONLY SPECIAL PRIZE BINGO BALLROOM DANCE CLASS CLASS 500 RUMMY 9:30 - 11:30 AM. - CRAFTS (REFRESHMENTS) $$ 2:00 - 3:30 PM. $$ CARD CLUB 10:00 -MEMBER MEETING 1-3 PM.-ART CLASS W/ BILL $$ 7-8 / 8-9 PM. $$ 15 16 17 18 “BIRTHDAY DAY” 19 20 10:00 - 11:30 AM. $$ 8:30 - 9:15 AM. - YOGA $$ 9 - 10 AM. - AEROBICS $$ 8:30 - 9:15 AM. - YOGA $$ 10:00 - 11:00 AM. 9:00 - 12:00 NOON $$ 9:30 - 11 AM. - CERAMICS 9-12:00- AARP TAX AIDE 500 RUMMY AARP TAX AIDE SERVICE 10 - 11:30 - PENNY BINGO 10-??-BOARD MEETING LINE DANCE CARD CLUB 9:30 - 11:30 AM. - CRAFTS 11:30 - 12:30 PM. BALLROOM DANCE CLASS CLASS 10:30 - 11:30 AM. ST. PATTY’S PARTY $$ 2:00 - 3:30 PM. $$ INTRIM HEALTH PROGRAM 1-3 PM.-ART CLASS W/ BILL $$ 7-8 / 8-9 PM. $$ 22 23 24 25 26 27 10:00 - 11:30 AM. $$ 8:30 - 9:15 AM. - YOGA $$ 9 - 10 AM. - AEROBICS $$ 8:30 - 9:15 AM. - YOGA $$ 10:00 - 11:00 AM. 9:00 - 12:00 NOON $$ 9:30 - 11 AM. - 9:00 - 12:00 NOON 500 RUMMY AARP TAX AIDE SERVICE CERAMICS AARP TAX AIDE SERVICE LINE DANCE CLASS CARD CLUB APPOINTMENT ONLY 10:00 - 11:30 AM. BALLROOM DANCE CLASS 9:30 - 11:30 AM. PENNY BINGO $$ 2:00 - 3:30 PM. $$ CRAFTS 1:00 - 3:00 PM. $$ 7-8 / 8-9 PM. $$ ART CLASS W/ BILL 29 30 31 MARCH 3 - EARLY BIRD SUPPER CLUB - 4:00 - 6:00 PM. 10:00 - 11:30 AM. $$ 8:30 - 9:15 AM. - YOGA $$ 9 - 10 AM. - AEROBICS RESERVED SEATING - GET YOUR TICKETS EARLY! 9-12 - AARP TAX AIDE $$ 9:30 - 11 AM. - CERAMICS MARCH 10 - SPECIAL PRIZE BINGO * REFRESHMENTS. 500 RUMMY APPOINTMENT ONLY 10:00 - 11:30 AM. MARCH 16 - INTRIM HEALTH PROGRAM. JOIN US. CARD CLUB 9:30-11:30 AM.- CRAFTS PENNY BINGO MARCH 17 - ST. PATTY’S PARTY - WEAR GREEN! 5:00 PM- ??? 1:00 - 3:00 PM. DON’T FORGET TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOUR OUT TO DINNER GANG ART CLASS W/ BILL DEC TAXES * A FREE SERVICE FOR SENIORS. YOGA/ABS AND OVERALL FITNESS PROGRAM The February 23 session is in progress through April 8. You can sign up for the next session by calling Kent County Parks & Recreation. Cost: $50.00 per course. Instructor: Betsy Gustafson, personal trainer & fitness instructor with 25 years experience. Call 302-744-2495 to sign up. DING! DONG! AVON CALLING! Don’t forget that Jo Anne Boots, our Avon lady, comes here once a month for your convenience. This month she will be here on March 3, 2010 from 9:00 am. to 11:30 pm. Call 734-4525. EARLY BIRD SUPPER CLUB * MARCH 3, 2010 Our ‘Early Bird” Supper Club is on March 3, from 4:00 - 6:00 pm. For only $7.50 you get a full course meal. This month’s selection is fruit cup, “Irish corn beef, parsley potatoes, cabbage, apple sauce, Irish soda bread, beverages, & dessert. Get your tickets early from reception desk and come have a lovely evening out and a good meal! Dinner music by Bruce Enslem. Shuttle service will be available. MEMBERSHIP MEETING W/ BARBARA * MARCH 9, 2010 - 10:15 AM. Come out and voice your opinions, suggestions, concerns, and/or questions. This is your center and she needs your input. “SHE’S BACK!” SPECIAL PRIZE BINGO * MARCH 10, 2010 Roni Davis from Pinnacle, short term rehab in Smyrna, will be here on March 10 to do a special ‘prize bingo’ for us again. Come join the fun; refreshments will be served. This will take the place of our usual ‘penny bingo’ that day. Regular time - 10:00 - 11:30 am. INTRIM HEALTHCARE SERIES - MARCH 16 - 10:30 - 11:30 AM. This month’s program will be on “Communicating with your Physician”. Many of us do not ask questions of our doctors when we should. Learn how, join us for this FREE presentation. ST. PATRICK’S DAY LUNCHEON * MARCH 17, 2010 We will celebrate St. Patty’s Day on March 17 with a Ham and Cabbage Irish meal. Join us for a great meal and some good old fashioned “Blarney”! FULLER BRUSH COMPANY LIVES ON! MARCH 18, 2010 June M. Dawson, sales representative for the Fuller Brush Company, will be displaying its product line on “Birthday Day” each month. June also leaves product catalogs with us for your use if you are interested in their line of products. Ask at desk or see Olivia. BOARD MEETING * MARCH 18, 2010 * 10:00 AM. “EASTER FEAST” * MARCH 31, 2010 Join us for our special Easter Luncheon @ 11:30 am. $5.00 DON’T FORGET IT’S TAX TIME - GET YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH US! MARCH 2010 2. Richard Maly 3. Annabel Sterling 11. Doreen Zentmeyer 21. Irene Kozicki Betty Martin Thelma Fox Mable Glanden Ralph Lombr 12. Judith Goldrich 22. Marie Adel 5. Charlotte Shockley 13. Kenneth Jones Daniel Rossetti Marie Austin Sue LePore Phyllis Bethea Raymond Davis 15. Sheila Hayford 23. Howell Harvey 6. Bruce Ruppert Janice Coyle Clara Gravatt Eileen Burnett 17. Louis Sherrard, Sr. 25. Eleanor Ballard James Sharp 18. Lynn Siminsen Veronica Balcerak 8. James Dunn Frances Vick 28. Joan Millman 9. Lora Williams Judith Ann Abbott Patricia Spellman 10. Jean Peters 20. Connie Ruppert 29. Betty Cobb Joan Davis Kit Rolling 30. Ed Romanoski Margaret Zimmerman 21. Joan Randolph 31. Ben Randolph Mary Fran Trafford Joan Randall Charlotte Martinson LUNCH SERVED DAILY FROM 11:30 A.M. TO 12:30 P.M. PLEASE BE SURE TO TELL THE RECEPTIONIST IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY WHEN YOU CALL IN FOR BIRTHDAY DAY MARCH 18, 2010 ATTENTION ALL BIRTHDAY PEOPLE! We would like to clarify and answer a reoccuring question. BLOOD PRESSURE When it is your birthday month, you are invited to a free CHECK LUNCH here at Harvest Years as part of your membership. GENERATIONS HOME However, you must attend the birthday celebration on our CARE, INC. WILL BE HERE ‘Birthday Day’ which is always the third Thursday of each ON BIRTHDAY DAY TO month and eat in. You can not ‘take out’ the free meal. If you TAKE BLOOD PRESSURES do not see your name on the list of names for that month AND BLOOD SUGAR there are two possiblities: one - I overlooked or missed your SCREENING. WE ALL name and forgot to type it in or 2 - if your dues are not NEED TO KEEP AWARE OF current you are not eligible. Please remember that we all OUR make mistakes so if you think we have please don’t hesitate BLOOD PRESSURE AND to contact Tom or Olivia. SUGAR LEVELS. FULLER BRUSH “LADY” June M. Dawson will be here on ‘Birthday Day’ with her Fuller Brush products for you to examine and/ or buy! SICK SHIP SINKS TRIP For those of you that like to take cruises, please read the article on page 22 by Ron Burley ‘On Your Side’ in the AARP March/April 2010 Magazine. HARRINGTON RACEWAY * CASINO (MID-WAY SLOTS) Harrington is giving our members the $10.00 Free Play Card at this current time. We have set up the first Thursday of each month for the year of 2010. We will leave at 10:00 am. and return by 3:00 pm. The trip fee is still $5.00 per person. Sign up at reception desk. Next trip is March 4, 2010. Must be paid by March 1, 2010. RAINBOW DINNER THEATRE * MARCH 25, 2010 “NANA’S NAUGHTY KNICKERS” OUT DEPART FROM DAWSON’S: 9:00 AM. RETURN APPROX: 5:00/5:30 PM. TRIP FEE: $65.00 PER PERSON MAXIUM: 45 MIN: 30 DEPOSIT AT SIGN-UP: $10.00 SO LD BALANCE DUE: MARCH 5, 2010 PRICE INCLUDES: SHOW, MEAL, TRANSPORTATION, & BUS DRIVER’S TIP. Bridget comes to room with her Nana but soon finds out that her sweet Grandma is running an illegal boutique from her apartment - naughty knickers! SIGHT & SOUND * APRIL 29, 2010 “JOSEPH” DEPART FROM DAWSON’S: 10:00 AM. RETURN APPROX: 5:00/5:30 PM. TRIP FEE: $87.00 MAXIUM: 40 MINIUM: 30 DEPOSIT AT SIGN-UP: $10.00 BALANCE DUE: APRIL 1, 2010 PRICE INCLUDES: SHOW, TRANSPORTATION, BUS DRIVER’S TIP AND A BOX LUNCH . SEE OLIVIA FOR DETAILS ON OUR “PICNIC” LUNCH. O UT SMYRNA OPERA HOUSE * MARCH 7, 2010 “THE MOUSETRAP”! D Leave Harvest Yrs. @ 1:30. Return approx. 5/5:30 pm. Cost: $18.00 per person. (dep. $10) SOL Van space limited, book early. An Agatha Christie’s murder mystery! “OUT TO DINNER GANG” The “OUT TO DINNER GANG” will go to Bob Evans (south) on March 30, 2010 - (the date of our next outing). Kirby & Holloway was picked for April. We will meet at 5:00 pm. as usual. Please sign-up ahead of time so I will know how many are coming and notify the restaurant. Thank you! Olivia. TRIP TO BRANSON, MO. JUNE 5 - 13 * SEE LAST PAGE OF THIS NEWSLETTER FOR MORE INFORMATION. From the Desk of: Barbara Morton, Member President Hi everyone, Several of our scheduled activities were postponed or cancelled because of the snow. I hope this month you can attend ‘The Mousetrap’ at Smyrna Opera House on Sunday, March 7th and our returning trip to the Rainbow Theatre on Thursday, March 25th for “Nana’s Naughty Nickers”. I had to cancel our membership meeting last month but, I look forward to seeing you at our membership meeting on Tuesday, March 9th at 10:15 just after the Bob Evans Breakfast. Please bring your suggestions or comments so we can try to improve our center. I want to thank Sharon Larrimore for volunteering to sort, label and organize the craft room. It was greatly appreciated. Don’t forget it’s time to get you taxes done and help is at Harvest Years so call to make a appointment. If you would prefer to e- mail me, my e-mail address is email@example.com, and for those who do not have access to e-mail just call me on my cell phone - 302-898-2018. I will return your call or e-mail as soon as possible. Call if you want to chat about anything. AARP TAX-AIDE SERVICE DELAWARE * NEW 211 * GET CONNECTED Once again AARP is here at Harvest A new 211 help line assists Delaware residents in need Years to help you with your income of food banks, health care, affordable housing, job taxes. They will continue thru the training, child care, services for older adults and more. middle of April 2010. There will be Operators provice referrals to both government and Tuesdays as well as Thursdays this nonprofit services, with follow-up to ensure callers get time. The specific dates will be the help they need. available at the reception desk where we will have appointment sheets for The service is available 8 a.m. to 8 p.m. weekdays. you to choose your time and day. We have been informed that they do not AARP Delaware has a seat on the advisory committee do farms, rentals, or depreciation. for the Delaware Helpline, which began operating in Their service is for individuals, 1990 with an 800 number. AARP joined with state Sen. couples and short schedule Patti Blevins, D, the United Way of Delaware and other business forms. collaborators to create the new number in 2007, but funding wasn’t available until this year. HARVEST YEARS ON THE For referrals to services, dial 211. WEB Harvest Years has a web site that provides access to the latest information about “STARLIGHT BALLROOM DANCE LESSONS” activities at the center. Our Ballroom dance lessons at 7 pm. and 8 pm. on Thursday newsletter is published once evenings at the Harvest Years Senior Center, 30 South per month, but the web site street in camden. The cost is $5.00 per person per hour. can be updated whenever 7:00 - 8:00 pm. and 8:00 - 9:00 pm. (beginners & something new happens or intermediate). there is a change in an event. Learn: Rumba, Waltz, Foxtrot, Samba, Jitterbug Swing, If you have access to a Bolero, Cha Cha, Argentine Tango. computer and would like to be Also on Thursdays from 2:00 to 3:30 pm. Jack Nuttall will alerted when changes are give private ballroom dance classes. made just send an e-mail to All proceeds go to the Harvest Years Senior Center. firstname.lastname@example.org and on No compensation is paid to the Amateur Volunteer Dance Teachers. the “Subject” line put “Add For information call Jack or Eileen at 698-0556. Me”. The web can be viewed “STARLIGHT BALLROOM DANCE” at This year’s dates pending. http://www.harvestyears.org. TELEMARKETERS “THE ONION” Three Little Words That Work!! In 1919 when the flu killed 40 million people The three little words are: “HOLD ON PLEASE.” there was this Doctor that visited the many Saying this, while putting down your phone and farmers to see if he could help them combat walking off (instead of hanging-up immediately) the flu. Many of the farmers & their family had would make each telemarketing call so much contracted it & many died. The doctor came more time-consuming that boiler room sales upon this one farmer and to his surprise, would grind to a halt. everyone was very healthy. When the doctor Then when you eventually hear the phone asked what the farmer was doing that was company’s “beep-beep-beep” tone, you know it’s different the wife replied that she had placed time to go back and hang up your handset, which an unpeeled onion in a dish in the rooms of has efficiently completed its task. the home. The doctor couldn’t believe it and These three little words will help eliminate asked if he could have one of the onions and telephone soliciting. place it under the microscope. She gave him one and when he did this, he did find the flu virus in the onion. It obviously absorbed the AARP DRIVERS SAFETY bacteria, therefore, keeping the family healthy. REFRESHER / ADVANCED COURSE The moral of the story is, buy some onions and place them in bowls around your home. If On March 8, 2010 from 9:00 - 1:00 pm. Perry you work at a desk, place one or two in your Martinson will conduct a refresher/advanced office or under your desk or even on top safety driving course here at Harvest Years. somewhere. Try it and see what happens. We The fee for AARP members is $12.00. Non- did it last year and we never got the flu. If this members is $14.00. helps you and your loved ones from getting Sign up at reception desk. sick, all the better. If you do get the flu, it just might be a mild case... Don’t know what to do now that you’ve turned your computer on? BOOKS! Let Terry help you! BOOKS! KENT COUNTY PUBLIC LIBRARY 302-698-6440 The Kent County Book-Mobile comes to Harvest Years every Tuesday from 10:45 am. to 12:15 pm. Books can also be ordered on the library website and picked up in the bookmobile. http://dlc.lib.de.us/ Take advantage of this FREE service. Terry Anderson, a retired Air Force Pilot & retired from the Department of Education has volunteered his time and expertise to teach one on one computer classes. Know the basics? What to know more? Give name and phone number to Olivia & we’ll set up an appointment with the “Computer Guy!” MRS. BRANNER’S BANTER A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is LITTLE HUMOR one who can find such a man. When my young son asked the inevitable AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED... question, “Mother, what can I be when I grow One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in- up,” I was thrilled at the opportunity to instill a law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift. The next positive attitude in him. year, he didn’t buy her a gift. When she asked him “Son,” I replied, “you can be anything you want why, he replied, “Well, you still haven’t used the gift to be.” I bought you last year!” “Good,” he said, “I want to be a bear.” And then the fight started... * * * * * * When my daughter was in second grade, I My wife walked into the den & asked “What’s on the chaperoned a class trip to see the musical TV?” I replied “Dust”. ‘George Washington at Valley Forge.’ About And then the fight started... halfway into the production, my daughter * * * looked at me incredulously and said, “I didn’t My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our know George Washington could sing!” upcoming anniversary. She said, “I want something * * * shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds. As a kindergarten teacher, I taught my young So I bought her a scale. charges to sing a song in German. One boy And then the fight started... raised his hand & said his mother was German. * * * “That’s great,” I said. “You can go home and I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our sing this song for her.” anniversary?” It warmed my heart to see her face “Well,” he continued, “she’s only half- melt in a sweet anticipation. “Somewhere I haven’t German.” been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested, He still seemed to want to talk so I asked, “Do “How about the kitchen?” you know what the other half is?” And then the fight started... He thought and thought and finally said, “I * * * think it’s shepherd.” I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. “I’ll have the HARVEST YEARS SENIOR CENTER strip steak, medium rare, please.” The waiter MEAL CARD said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?” 5 MEALS = $15.00 10 MEALS = $30.00 “Nah, she can order for herself.” O_____ O_____ O_____ O_____ O_____ And then the fight started... E O_____ O_____ M PL O_____ O_____ O_____ * * * My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A SA __________________________________________ DATE REPRESENTATIVE Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her & said, “Do you want to have sex?” MEAL CARDS AVAILABLE, “No,” she answered. SAVES CARRYING MONEY. I then said, “Is that your final answer?” She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.” So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.” And then the fight started... * * * Harvest Years offer a full-service Beauty Salon every Tuesday, Wednesday, & Thursday from 9:00 am. to 3:00 pm. Call for appointment. 698-4285.
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