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The Geek Test

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					The Geek Test                                                                       Page 1




                                    THE GEEK TEST
     I HAVE...

         programmed a calculator in math class
         studied a language on my own
         always hated mainstream
         dated a geek
         married a geek
         done homework that wasn't required
         done homework for somebody else
         looked forward to dissecting a frog, pig, etc.
         looked forward to doing my taxes
         attended public academic lectures on my own
         studied an artificial language (i.e. Esperanto, Klingon)
         created an artificial language
         filed the Census as my persona
         worn 2+ watches at the same time
            to keep track of multiple time zones
         named a pet after a scientist or inventor
            after a gaming, literary, or B-movie character
            after a mythological being
            after a technical term
         solved a Rubik's cube
         solved an entire 500+ piece puzzle
         a Ph.D.
         a perfect attendance record in high school
            in college
         taken notes in more than one color
         thought I could win a quiz show
         corrected a professor in class
         corrected a salesperson on technical specs
         corrected a supervisor on spelling or grammar
         written a letter to the editor
         written fan fiction
         written hypertext fiction
         written for a webzine
         created a webzine
         indexed and catalogued any personal collection
         a subscription to a sci-fi or computer magazine
            an anthropological or history magazine
            a nature or science magazine
            a financial or literary magazine
            to a games or gaming magazine




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The Geek Test                                                               Page 2

     I HAVE BEEN...

         Geek of the Year
         in A/V club
         a theater techie
         to a gamecon
         to another con
         host at any con
         game master
         a computer lab monitor
         to a LAN gaming party
         host at a LAN gaming party
         in a fan club or on their mailing list
         "that guy" at a concert
         in the SCA
         seriously involved in the SCA
         Trivial Pursuit winner > 10 times
         called a geek
            several times
         labeled socially inept
            by your "friends"
         in "smart" classes
         on a game show
         a scout for 10+ years
         a high school mascot
         in marching band
         in show choir
         to band camp
         to a math/science camp
         in the chess club
         on any sort of academic team
         in a math competition
            placed high or won
         in a science competition
            placed high or won
         to museums by my own freewill
         referred to as Dilbert
         referred to as Velma
         dumped at a dance
         dumped at a Star Trek convention

     I HAVE... (2)

         attended a geek party
         been really excited about attending a geek party
         thrown a geek party
         Beta tested this Geek Test
         roleplayed



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The Geek Test                                                                             Page 3


            3+ times a week
            for 12 hours straight (or longer)
         introduced several people to roleplaying
         gamed in a tournament
            and won
         gone to a party just to play Trivial Pursuit
         a phone number with GEEK as the last four digits
            or something equally geeky
         worn a costume other than for Halloween or a play
         worked for a Renaissance Faire
         criticized normality
         taken the Mensa test
         joined Mensa
         talked to plants to help them grow
         quoted Yoda in conversation or debate, at least semi-seriously
         gone to the movies alone
            regularly
         gone to a movie dressed up like one of the characters
            alone
         waited in line 2+ hours for movie tickets
         waited in line 12+ hours for movie tickets
         skipped parties to program or repair computers
            to read or study
            to talk online
            because I'm not cool enough to go
         argued about which "Trek" is the best
         founded a club of any sort
         snorted while laughing
         never turned down a date
         held an office in the SCA
         written articles for SCA publications
         used "authenticity police" in a sentence
         framed my scroll(s)

     I HAVE READ...

         Douglas Adams
         Piers Anthony
         Isaac Asimov
         Arthur C. Clarke
         Stephen Hawking
         Robert Heinlein
         Robert Jordan
         H.P. Lovecraft
         Anne McCaffrey
         J.R.R. Tolkien
         any "The Companion to…" books



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The Geek Test                                                    Page 4


         books based on Star Trek or Star Wars
         comic books
         graphic novels
         fan fiction
         hypertext fiction
         The Knowne Worlde Handbook
         books on math/science outside class
         books on grammar outside class
         books on history outside class
         Russian literature outside class
         gaming books
           cover to cover
         entire calculator manuals
         entire computer manuals
         software/computer language books
         for a reading circle or book club
         joke/humor books for self-enrichment

     I WANT...

         more Magic the Gathering cards
         a real lightsaber
         a date
         more computers
         to work for Microsoft
         to one-up Microsoft
         to call Microsoft "Microshaft"
         my own comic book store
         my own gaming store
         a yurt
         Jean Gray
         Jeff Goldblume
         7 of 9
         Jean-Luc Picard
         Scully
         Mulder
         Max Guevera (aka X5-452)
         Scott Bakula
         Willow or Buffy
         Legolas or Frodo
         Leia or Amidala
         ASIMO
         more friends
         more RAM
         GPS
         100-sided dice
         to take over the world



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The Geek Test                                                          Page 5


         to score well on this test

     I BELIEVE...

         in unicorns and dragons
         in fairies, trolls or leprechauns
         in aliens
         in vampires
         that I am a vampire
         in the Force
         that anything can be fixed
         Linux is the only worthwhile OS

     I ROUTINELY WATCH...

         X-Files
         Star Trek
         Star Trek: The Next Generation
         Star Trek: Voyager
         Deep Space 9
         Babylon 5
         Farscape
         Buffy the Vampire Slayer
         MST3K
         Dexter's Lab
         Superhero cartoons (Batman, Superman, etc.)
         Beat the Geek
         Jeopardy
         Quantum Leap
         Highlander
         Junkyard Wars
         spinoff shows of any of the above
         documentaries
         obscure movies
         foreign films
         Anime
         History or Discovery Channel
         Weather Channel
         Sci-fi Channel
         Food or Game Show Network
         Cartoon Network
         Tech TV
         bonus features on DVDs

     I HAVE SEEN (2+ times)...

         Bladerunner




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The Geek Test                                                        Page 6


         Clerks
         The Dark Crystal
         The Fly
         Highlander: the movie
         The Last Starfighter
         The Fellowship of the Ring
         The Two Towers
         The Matrix
         Any Monty Python movie
         The Neverending Story
         Princess Bride
         Rocky Horror Picture Show
         Spaceballs
         TRON
         War Games
         Any Star Trek movie
         All Star Trek movies
         The Star Wars Trilogy
         Star Wars Episode I and II
         Transformers: the movie
         Weird Science
         Any Kung Fu movie made before 1980

     I OWN...

         5+ of the above movies on DVD
         10+ of the above movies on DVD
         pocket protector
         Rubik's cube
         2+ Rubik's cubes
         more than one slinky
         four-color pen
         whole/partial set of figurines
         multi-sided dice
         a gaming book
         a few gaming books
         a ton of gaming books
         >1 Steve Jackson game
           and the expansion packs
         Most of the MageKnight line
           DC HeroClix line
           Marvel HeroClix line
         Magic the Gathering cards
         Universal remote control with LCD display
         1 or 2 computers
         3+ computers
         a computer currently running on Linux



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The Geek Test                                                           Page 7


         PDA, pager, and cell phone
         DVD burner
         Sun, HP, SGI server
         2+ DVD players
         2+ sound effects CDs
         art made from color gels
         a techie black outfit
         a toy lightsaber
         a real lightsaber
         script to any Monty Python film
           any Star Trek film
           any Star Wars film
             rough draft of any of the above
         several maps and/or globes
         thermometer that also measures humidity
         a full set of encyclopedias
         2+ dictionaries
         2+ calculators
         > 1 chess set
         > 1 trivia game
         > 1 video game console
         > 1 pre-1985 video game console (before NES)
         beakers, test tubes or Petrie dishes
           and use them as cups or dishware
         an exotic animal
           an endangered species
         voltmeter
         binoculars
         spyglass
         telescope
         microscope
         magnifying glass
         laser pointer




                                        INTERMISSION
     I WANT TO BE (OR HAVE BEEN)...

         a wizard
         a superhero
         a physicist
         a historian
         an economist
         a librarian
         a meteorologist



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The Geek Test                                                             Page 8


         an astronomer
         a vampire
         a professional sound techie
         a professional lighting techie

     I LIKE TO...

         play with numbers
         play with words/sounds
         play with hazardous chemicals
         make documentaries
         read on Friday or Saturday nights
         go to the library
         browse the dictionary to learn new words
         browse the Geek webring
         do logic games
         put together puzzles
         help people with their finances
         turn on my computer first thing in the morning
         use 1024x768 or higher
         use 1280x1024 or higher
         program
         roleplay
         buy DVDs for their bonus materials
         buy used game consoles
         buy used video games
         buy used electronics
         work mathematical problems
         work chemical formulas
         do physics in my head
         tinker with electronics
         shop at Radio Shack
         make people think I'm weird
         play with Legos
         listen to NPR or AM radio
         watch public access TV
         listen to books on tape
         learn on my own

     I PLAY...

         Steve Jackson games
         Warhammer
         Call of Cthulu
         chess
         word games (like boggle, scrabble, crosswords)
         games on my PDA



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The Geek Test                                                        Page 9


         trivia games
         games that have received a Mensa award
         solitaire games
            5+ times a week
         They Might Be Giants
         Devo
         Weird Al Yankovic
         Dr. Demento
         Man or Astroman
         Ween
         Weezer
         books on tape or CD
         show tunes
         cartoon soundtracks
         music that nobody else listens to, ever
         no sports
         the accordion
         more than one musical instrument
         computer strategy games
         Fantasy Baseball, Football, etc.
         games via the internet
         an excessive amount of computer games
         Risk
            all the way to the end

     I WEAR...

         glasses
            that I have repaired myself
         software company t-shirts
         computer-humor t-shirts
         computer-related ties, underwear, etc.
         comic book-related ties, underwear, etc.
         shirts that proclaim geekhood
         Star Wars t-shirts
         only black t-shirts
         short sleeve dress shirts (men only)
         a fanny pack
         ugly or vintage clothing
         as little brand name clothing as possible
         my shirt tucked into my underwear
         Spock Ears
            permanently due to plastic surgery
         Vampire teeth
            permanently due to cosmetic dentistry
         hi-tops
         a digital watch



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The Geek Test                                                       Page 10


         day-of-the-week underwear
         suspenders

     I COLLECT...

         comic books
         superhero paraphernalia
         spoons
         calculators
         vintage computers
         bugs
         trains
         pins
         snow globes
         neat-looking rocks
         stamps
         coins
         dirt

     I HAVE... (3)

         cracked software
         hacked into another computer system
         had long Mac vs. PC debates
         created an operating system
         Beta tested software applications
         Beta tested games
         corrected Intel on hardware specs
         altered registry files
         used Usenet or IRC
         created a newsgroup
         a hard drive dedicated to mp3s
         written shareware
         written a regular expression parser
         followed comic strips online
         a computer at home with no cover on it
         designed a robot
         built a robot
         built a go-cart
         built a computer
         built my own network of computers
         designed a nuclear device of some sort
         built a nuclear device of some sort
         plotted world domination (to some extent)
         destroyed things just to see how they work
         played Final Fantasy
         defeated Final Fantasy



http://innergeek.us/geek.html                         06/03/2003 09:51:41 PM
The Geek Test                                                                    Page 11


         defeated all Final Fantasy games
         played video/computer games for 12+ hours straight
         created a website
            before 1996
         submitted my personal website to search engines
         owned a personal domain
            before 1996
         been on a listserv
         created a listserv
         more than 3 e-mail addresses
         more than 3 screen names
         dated someone over the internet
         married someone I met over the internet
         exaggerated on this test to score better
         flat out lied on this test to score better

     I KNOW...

         C++
         UNIX
         Lisp, Ada, CGI scripting, Pascal, or Delphi
         Java
         BASIC
         ASCII
         HTML and/or JavaScript
         l337 sp33k
         Latin
         what http:// stands for
         what dpi stands for
         what E=mc2 means
         the three laws of robotics
           and who invented them
         Clark's Third Law
         how to set a telescope in polar alignment
         the value of pi (to 10 digits)
         more people online than in real life
         who H.P. Lovecraft is
         that Aol is the Spawn of Satan
         that Bill Gates is both God and Satan
         how to use special functions on a scientific calculator
         chemical symbols for 10+ elements
         the difference between speed and velocity
         the names of 3 temperature scales
           and the freezing/boiling points of each
         the difference between nuclear fission and fusion
           and can explain it in detail
         how to count in hexadecimal



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The Geek Test                                                                                                 Page 12


         the difference between octal and octane
         what RAM and ROM stand for
         who created MSDOS
         who first implemented windows on their OS
         what a "patch" means in computer terms
         what the blue screen of death means

     I KNOW... (2)

         all about Jeanine Salla
         what increasing barometric pressure means
         how to count to 31 on one hand
         how to play 7+ games with regular deck(s) of cards
         how to roll-step and high-step in time
         what GURPS stands for
         my age in binary
         my Jedi name
         my Geek Code
         the relationship between Chainmail and D&D
         the names of 5+ Hobbits
            5+ dwarves from The Hobbit
            10+ Smurfs
            2+ Dragonlance characters
            5+ comic book writers
            5+ Food TV hosts
            5+ Star Trek characters
             from each generation
         the odd/even number rule of Star Trek movies
         that the new millennium started in 2001
         what a THAC0 is
         extensive, useless trivia
         how to write 1999 in Roman numerals
         that the answer is 42
         that I am a geek

     BONUS ROUND

                       I am a female geek (check all 5 boxes)
         My profession requires a certain level of geekiness
         Throughout my life, my level of geekiness has only increased
         I think this Geek Test is really cool
                       I can think of other things should get me points on this test
         (check all that apply, and please submit your ideas to the GeekMaster for future revisions)

                                                                            How will you rank?




http://innergeek.us/geek.html                                                                   06/03/2003 09:51:41 PM
The Geek Test                                                                                        Page 13

                                Reset
                                                                         Geekish Tendencies
                                                                         Geek
                                                                         Total Geek
                                                                         Major Geek
                                                                         Super Geek
                                                                         Extreme Geek
                                                                         Geek God
                                                                         Dysfunctional Geek


                                   Geek Test Results - View and Submit




http://innergeek.us/geek.html                                                          06/03/2003 09:51:41 PM

				
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