Vote In The Clowns by akgame


									     Aren’t we a pair?

                        Vote In The Clowns

                    by Alfred Adask

          Economist Milton Friedman             As comedian Drew Carey re-         dency so badly, that Hollywood
     recently warned us to, “keep an       cently remarked, “Clinton’s a so-       has been called on to restore
     eye on the internet since it’s        ciopath” – Yes, but he’s a funny        public confidence with a weekly
     making it harder and harder for       sociopath. Sure, he’s been              “virtual White House” TV program
     government to collect taxes.”         caught or implicated in drug use,       called “West Wing”. Now the pee-
          If Friedman’s right, how can     drug dealing, murder, treason,          pul can sleep soundly knowing
     traditional government survive        infidelity, hypocrisy, and looking      the country’s in the capable
     without taxes? Voluntary contri-      us straight in the eye and telling      hands of actor Martin Sheen.
     butions?                              shameless lies.                              And why does “West Wing”
          More importantly, how can             But on the other hand, Jay         deliver a better presidential im-
     government intimidate the serfs       Leno has rightly praised Clinton        age than Clinton? Well, lookit the
     without the threat of an aggres-      for providing us with a “golden         money. Remember Donald
     sive IRS?                             age” of latenight comedy. But           Trump’s question: “Do you re-
          Amazingly, government is,        now Leno laments, “What’ll we do        ally want to elect someone to the
     so far, yielding to the technologi-   for laughs when Clinton’s gone?”        Presidency who’s never earned
     cal forces of decentralization.            Indeed.                            over $200,000?” The “West
     The House recently passed a law            When you get right down to         Wing’s” extras are paid more
     that banned taxes on the inter-       it, no matter how demonic               than Clinton – so, of course, they
     net for five years. The Senate is     Clinton might seem, who has he          deliver a more believable politi-
     expected to follow. If they can’t     really hurt besides those who           cal illusion. Whadaya want in the
     tax the internet for five years, by   were dumb enough to get close           (real) White House for $250,000
     2005 the internet will be so big,     to him? His wife. Ron Brown.            a year? Tom Cruise?
     so deeply rooted in the world’s       Vince Foster. Web Hubble. Al                 Whether Clinton is more
     economy, it may be almost im-         Gore. The Democrat party. His-          dummy than demon is debat-
     possible to impose new taxes at       torians have voted his White            able, but it matter less each year
     that time.                            House staff the prestigious “Most       as the powers of his office dimin-
          Faced with this technological    Likely To Do Time” award . . . .        ish.
     challenge, what did Bill Clinton           What’s Clinton really
     do? In early May, he made his         achieved in the last eight years        Vote for the class clown
     first comedy video featuring him      besides keeping us amused? He               Over half of Americans eli-
     peddling his bike around in the       pushed for health care, and it          gible to vote don’t bother. Gov-
     halls of the White House and          blew up in his face. He pushed          ernment bemoans voter apathy,
     pounding on a candy dispenser         for gun control, and precipitated       but maybe the nonvoters have a
     to get free Snickers bars. His        more gun sales to more Ameri-           point. Maybe they sense that it’s
     video was so funny, I gotta ad-       cans than ever before.                  not the voting that’s become ir-
     mit, I’m gonna miss this clown.            He’s discredited the Presi-        relevant – it’s the politicians.

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   centralized internet world, the of-      “I have not had sexual relations          (the First Lady Lesbian), too! And
   fice of President is increasingly        with that woman!” And we be-              if Hilary’s back in Washington,
   irrelevant. I think they’re right.       lieved him. Bill’s a consummate           Bill won’t be far behind. Think
                                            liar. He’s a pro. America re-             about it. The same cast, the
   Decisions, decisions!                    spects that in her politicians.           same plot . . . it’ll be like a se-
        So who should we vote for                But Gore? He’s an incompe-           quel to a hit movie. Instead of
   this November? Well, if the can-         tent liar. You just know this guy         “Bill and Al’s Bodacious Adven-
   didates are largely irrelevant in        will tell some whoppers if he gets        ture!” we’ll have “Al and Bill’s
   a substantive sense, which one           in the White House. Gore’s the            Bodacious Adventure!” Or maybe
   is most likely to keep Leno,             kind of compulsive liar who (in a         we’ll freshen up the title and call
   Letterman and the rest of us gig-        weak moment) just might claim             it “Bozo’s on the Potomac,” or
   gling?                                   to have been the first man to set         maybe “The Three Stooges Do
        Not Bush. The comedians             foot on the moon. Think of the            Government,” or maybe . . . ahh,
   have already worn out the jokes          jokes! Think of the delicious             we’ll think of something.
   about G.W.’s intellect and edu-          contempt he’ll inspire!                        But whatever we call the next
   cation. And he’s too smart to rise            Don’t misunderstand. I’m not         administration, electing incom-
   to the bait on the drug use ques-        saying Gore can be as a big a             petents and fools to the White
   tions. His wife seems pretty nor-        buffoon as Clinton, but the kid’s         House is no longer as dangerous
   mal and his kids are OK, so              got potential. Just imagine stuffy        as it once was. In the decentral-
   where’s the scandal potential?           Al Gore in the White House, man-          ized world of electronic commu-
   Where’s the laughs?                      fully pulling the levers of power         nication, the centralized power
        But Gore – the man who pub-         – and not realizing that in our           of all public officials is diminish-
   licly claimed to have invented the       decentralized world, the levers           ing and the character of the of-
   internet, discovered the Love            are no longer connected! That’s           fice holder is increasingly irrel-
   Canal, and inspired the book             more than comedy, that’s pa-              evant.
   “Love Story” – is not merely a liar,     thos, that’s classic . . . that’s . . .        Of course, I’m exaggerating
   he’s a fool.                             en-ter-taaain-ment!                       to make a point. The govern-
        Bill Clinton can look us in the          And don’t forget – if we elect       ment and office of President still
   eye, wave his finger, and declare        Gore, we’ll probably get Hilary           wield massive, potentially lethal
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AntiShyster    Volume 10, No. 1   adask@     972-418-8993                                      13

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