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Heres some TV shows youll be sure to miss

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					G2    KITCHENER • CAMBRIDGE • WATERLOO • GUELPH                                                 LIFE
                                                                                         GRAND RIVER
                                                                                                                                                                                             SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 4, 2006




 Here’s some TV shows you’ll be sure to miss
        s the mid-season replacement                                                      tinues to spin off the most clones. As        Yard Sale Roadshow: Let’s face it,           ploitive of stereotypes. Small-minded.

A       television shows appear in the
        listings, you have to feel empa-
thy for their creators.
                                                                                          the networks dispense completely with

                                                                                          we see:
                                                                                          common decency will it be long before
                                                                                                            ,
                                                                                                                                     while there might be some “wow’’ factor
                                                                                                                                     in the elderly gent who learns the vase
                                                                                                                                     he’s been spitting in is worth $20,000,
                                                                                                                                                                                        And the best part is, these haven’t
                                                                                                                                                                                     even begun to scrape the bottom of the
                                                                                                                                                                                     barrel. There is the potential of years
    Being a mid-season replacement TV                                                        Stalking Celebrities: Who wants         what we really like is the matron who           of programming, just like this.
show isn’t easy .                                                                         to see celebs train intensely, wear        learns the priceless painting from a               Do yourself a favour. Take the dog
    You’re replacing something so bad                                                     clothes that cost a year of our salary     dead “auwnt’’ is a worthless reproduc-          for a walk.
that its audience decided to walk their                                                   and then dance or skate? No, we want       tion. So let’s diss the stuff at yard sales.
                                                                                                                                                                                     NEVER SAY NEVER
dog during its time slot. And you’re                                                      to see them go out, with bad hair and      Those Len Deighton books? Hardly
slipping into that dead time slot.                         BILL                           bad clothes, on a late-night search for    worth $1. That child car seat? Recalled             Further to the columns on silent let-
    As well, your show was so unim-                        BEAN                           mayonnaise. Each week, the teams of        two years ago as unsafe. And who the            ters: I should know by now that one nev-
pressive to the TV executives that they                                                   amateur paparazzi chase them in cars       heck wants these old Flint, Mich. ash-          er says “never.’’
wouldn’t give it a full-time slot in the   (OK, too close to reality.)                    or dodge resort security to catch them     trays? No one smokes anymore.                       Reader Simon Thompson has point-
first place.                                   Found: A lot like Lost (plane crash,       sunbathing in the nude. The team that         You think your basement is full of           ed out that one of the three “never-
    Part of the problem with replace-      tropical island), but the emergency lo-        captures the most embarrassing pri-        junk? Wait until you see this stuff.            silent’’ letters is silent in one case. The
ment shows is that their creators can’t    cator beacon works and, before the             vate moment wins.                             Take This Dump and Sell It: How              “x’’ in faux is silent. If you permit prop-
seem to think beyond the formulas of       packaged peanuts run out, or one of               Child swap: The whole premise be-       did they sell that crummy old house up          er nouns in this discussion, then Sioux
the successful shows. What you get is      the passengers is chosen to be eaten by        hind Wife Swap is wrong. Mom and           the street for $220,000? Take This Dump         is another example.
imitation (hence the unending varia-       the others, the rescue chopper arrives.        Dad don’t want to get away from each       shows you the secrets of papering over              As for the remaining two — “j’’ and
tions of domestic comedies and Sur-        A short series, but it would be, after all,    other; they want to get away from the      the imperfections of the poorly built           “v’’ — they can be silent, too. Consider
vivor clones).                             a mid-season replacement.                      kids. Take three bored preteens from       modern suburban home.                           the annual pilgrimage of Muslims to
    So, for those who have been out of         24/7: Why limit yourself to a single       Manyberries, Alta., and switch them           Learn how wall art — from framed             Mecca, known as the hajj. The second
touch with television so long that you     day’s action, as in the hit series 24,         for three over-achievers from Burling-     pictures to pots and pans — can hide a          “j’’ is silent. And when you are stopped
think Medium is a cooking show about       when you can tune in to someone who            ton. Will the honour students enlighten    multitude of ills. Bedroom carpet a dis-        at a light and the guy beside you is
how you like your steak, here are some     is on call 24 hours a day, seven days a        their Ralph-Klein-obsessed ‘’foster par-   aster? Just toss clothes everywhere             “revving’’ his engine, as noisy as his
program proposals that could soon          week. This Jack Bower is the head of           ents’’ with their plans for a junior       and pretend it’s your teenager’s room,          car is, the second “v’’ is silent.
turn up as replacement shows:                                                ,
                                           IT. We watch him an hour a day every           branch of Amnesty International?           even if you don’t have a teenager.                  So, there you have it. There are 26
    Disparate Housewives: The story        day (it can replace seven other series).          Will the prairie preteens give their       Learn why agents like to show a              sounds of silence. Use them well.
of five suburban women who have                We watch him drink coffee, send            “foster parents’’ a break from driving     house after a heavy snowfall (covers
such differing interests and lifestyles    messages on his BlackBerry, reboot             to soccer practice as they entertain       missing shingles and backyard dog               • Bill Bean likes getting silent letters at
that they never get together for coffee    desktops and change the toner on the           themselves by taking their bird guns       droppings).                                     bbean@therecord.com or at The Record,
or to talk about anything, and, in fact,   printer. Almost like reality TV.               on a visit to the Dundurn Castle              These are shows that appeal to the                                     ,
                                                                                                                                                                                     160 King St. E., Kitchener N2G 4E5.
don’t even know each other’s names.            Of course, it’s reality TV that con-       aviary?                                    worst in us. Invasive and snoopy. Ex-




             CN Tower now sells
            Waterloo-made jewelry
     BY VALERIE HILL                                                 Isber, owner of design studio Sugar Beads & Co., en-
     GRAND RIVER LIFE STAFF                                       thuses “this is pretty big.”
                                                                     But she’s in now and loving every minute.
     WATERLOO
                                                                     “They were sold on me before I even walked in the
            aterloo jewelry designer Gay Isber, has discov-       door,” said Isber, who was stunned when Tompkins
     W      ered the value of word-of-mouth.
         Lisa Tompkins, marketing director for the CN Tow-
                                                                  agreed to purchase her complete inventory   .
                                                                     “I hadn’t really tried to get into the Toronto mar-
     er, saw a piece of Isber’s jewelry being worn by a friend    ket,” said Isber who works from a home studio where
     and remarked on its unique beauty     .                      she employs full- and part-time staff as well as sales
         “We’re always looking looking to augment our prod-       staff.
     uct          mix,         particularly        Canadian,”        Locally her jewelry is available from her studio or
     said Tompkins, who arranged to meet Isber and conse-         Gina’s Spa, on Regina Street.
     quently purchased dozens of pieces for the tower’s gift         “Everything is made right here in Waterloo,” said
     shop.                                                        Isber.
         “It’s spectacular, colourful, unique,” said Tompkins.       The pieces at the CN Tower start as low as $24 for
     “We were excited about what clearly everyone in Wa-          earrings, $20-$30 for bracelets and $90 and up for larger,
     terloo already knows (about).”                               signature necklaces.
         Tompkins said the store has carried some jewelry in         Isber, a native of Texas, also creates bridal garters,
     the past but nothing quite like Isber’s work in that each    tiaras, hair accessories and fine art, all sold from her                                                                                   GRAND RIVER LIFE
     piece is one of a kind. “They are artisans and they’re       website www.gayisber.com.                                          Gay Isber’s handmade jewelry is now being sold in the CN Tower’s gift shop.
     not making mass quantity     .”                                 vhill@therecord.com




                                     GONE SHOPPING
                                                                                                                                 Gadgets: Helping
                                                                                                                                 children integrate
                                                                                                                                 CONTINUED FROM PAGE G1                             nate communication devices, they have
                                                                                                                                                                                    been required to keep up with current
                                                                                                                                     To “talk,” Zhade touches pictures,             electronic trends.
                                                                                                                                 words and letters on the screen. The                  Many of the units are now available
                                                                                                                                 word and phrases are spoken aloud by               with options that include built in MP3
                                                                                                                                 the computer.                                      players, cellphones and universal re-
                                                                                                                                     The unit is recordable so individual-          mote control capabilities.
                                                                                                                                 ized words such as the name of her                    While most of the items I review are
                                                                                                                                 teacher or favourite phrases can be                focused on making our lives more enjoy-
                                                                                                                                 recorded in memory   .                             able, the gadgets I encountered at
                                                                                                                                     The computer uses a dynamic screen             KidsAbility play a much more impor-
                                                                                                                                 to make entry easy as it adapts to the             tant role — they allow children to inte-
                                                                                                                                 context of the entries.                            grate with their peers and function in a
   FIND OF THE WEEK: Super Fort                                     Let your kids’ imagination run wild. Best of all you             For example, if Zhade enters “My               “normal” environment.
                                                                 can sit back on the couch (cushions intact) and watch           favourite animal is . . .,” the computer              Whether low-tech or high-tech,
   FOUND BY: Carla McLennan                                                                                                      shows pictures of various animals                  these gadgets offer children a freedom
                                                                 them create.
                                                                    The box shows suggested structures that resemble a           knowing that an animal will be the next            they would not otherwise enjoy   .
   DESCRIPTION: My nephew suffered a traumatic                                                                                   entry .                                               Having observed the real-life difficul-
                                                                 tree house, a tunnel, a boat and a rocket ship. There’s
                 .
   event recently He awoke to discover his prized fort                                                                               Using a combination of pictures,               ties overcome by Jayden and Zhade it
                                                                 even one that looks to me like a DNA chain. No wonder           words, letters and numbers Zhade was               makes gadget problems like how to
   had been transformed back into a couch and blan-
                                                                 they claim this will “stimulate and ignite discovery!”          able to tell me all about her teacher,             transfer a movie to a video iPod seem in-
   ket. And the worst part — the demolition had been
                                                                    While I’ve been debating building a fort at home             her rock collection and her birthday.              significant.
   orchestrated by his younger sister.
                                                                 in which to hide out, my greatest entertainment                     Before long she had her Dynavox                   For more details on KidsAbility Cen-
      Right Brain Playthings has designed an innovative          came from reading the warnings including — not to               telling jokes and making fun of me.                tre for Child Development, visit
   magnetic fort system. This $74.99 kit includes 73 pieces                                                                          By using her Dynavox, Zhade is able            www.kidsability .ca
                                                                 be used as a flotation device and one must not strike
                                                                                                                                 to fully participate in classroom activi-
   — 16 magnetic connectors, 16 flexible noodles, six rigid      anyone with the noodles.                                        ties, communicating with her teacher               • Tim Jackson lives in Waterloo, and wel-
   noodles, six bases, two landscape mats, five colour              You’ll find Super Fort at Toysense Plus at 711 Bel-          and classmates.                                    comes your ideas and comments at gad-
   skins, 20 clips and two storage bags.                         mont Avenue West (in Belmont Village), Kitchener.                   While companies like Dynavox pro-              getguru@rogers.com. His column ap-
                                                                                                                                 duce their products primarily as alter-            pears the first Saturday of each month.

				
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