Crowded Thoughts

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					New York
                 CROWDED
                 THOUGHTS
       © 2007 Duane Harold Connell. All rights reserved.



No part of this publication may be reproduced or
transmitted in any form or by any mean, mechanical
or electronic, including photocopying and recording,
or by an information storage and retrieval system,
without permission in writing from author or pub-
lisher (except by a reviewer, who may quote brief
passages and/or show brief video clips in a review).

Paperback ISBN: 978-1-60037-056-4




Published by:




Morgan James Publishing, LLC
1225 Franklin Ave. Ste 325
Garden City, NY 11530-1693
Toll Free 800-485-4943
www.MorganJamesPublishing.com


Cover and Interior Design by:
Michelle Radomski
One to One Creative Services
www.creativeones.net
           Acknowledgements


                          C
This book is dedicated to my daughter Gracie who reminded
me that life is a gift filled with love and laughter.

The following people were sources of inspiration for many of
the poems in this book:

Marianne Williamson, Van K. Brock, Julie Watkins, Gumps
Connell, Kim Haustedt, Wallace Stegner, Marilyn Shore,
Mazie, Beth Kapraun, D.J. Tiesto, Bethany Fileger,
Michelangelo, Jesus, Peter, Buddha, Mohammed, Becky
McNeil, Phil Gordon, Diane Dicks, Morty and Muriel
Phillips, Bobby and Ashley Fritz, Robert and Alane Fritz,
Petra Swenson, Mark Stock and Kerri Carpenter.

Special thanks to my wife Cynthia, my parents Barbara and
Harold Connell, my sister Karen Demeter and Morgan James
Publishing for giving me a forum for expression.




                             i
                            Contents


                                    C
Acknowledgements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .i
A Return to Love . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .2
A Tree Falls in the Forest . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .4
Tranquility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .6
After the Drop . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8
Angle of Repose . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .10
Authenticity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .12
Beads of Wisdom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14
Coming Back to Mother . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .16
Companionship . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18
Complexity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .20
Decade Resurrection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .22
Drift . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .24
Fall to Grace . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .26
Far and Away . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .28
Forever Today . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .30
Forgetting . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .32
Grounds for Dismissal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .34
Hands of Faith . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .38
House Warming . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .40
I Go To Sleep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .44
I’ll Lie Awhile with Me . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .46
I’ve Got the Nuts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .50
           Contents—continued


                                    C
Lingering Wind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .54
Mirror Ball . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .56
Mixed Metaphors . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .60
Mother Oak . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .62
Murder at Sea . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .64
My Unopened Gift . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .68
No Goodbyes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .70
On the Catwalk . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .74
Petals . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .78
Qua . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .80
75 Grains . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .82
Simplex . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .84
Soul’s Sonnet . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .86
The Book on the Mantle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .88
The Ethics of Evolution . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .92
The Face Behind the Mirror . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .94
The Glass at the End of the Evening . . . . . . . . . . .96
The Son Precedes the Light . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .98
The Space Outside the Circle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .100
The Unexpected Truth . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .102
Three Sides . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106
Wicked Harvest . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .110
Youth in Asia . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .112
About The Author . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .114
  thoughts
CROWDED
                  C
  This poem is based on the teachings of
“A Course in Miracles” as interpreted by
    Marianne Williamson in her book
 “A Return to Love” and the thoughtful
 choice of ten words by my wife Cynthia.




           1   CROWDED THOUGHTS
        A Return to Love


                      C
It is intoxicating
this fear that seduces our mind
we mistakenly give loyalty to what binds us
only what is real can shear those phantom lashings
and that is the simplicity of this truth
God is within us
we are a Holy family
one eclectic clash of laughter and pathos
but if we are to rediscover fulfillment
we must be fearless in our return
“anything that is not Love is an illusion
remember this and we will be at peace”




                 CROWDED THOUGHTS   2
                   C
The following two poems are companions.
      They juxtapose the concepts of
  isolation, fear, sound, silence, love and
a forest with distinctly different outcomes.




            3   CROWDED THOUGHTS
 A Tree Falls in the Forest


                     C
there
the horizontal wind
threading its way through
the ruined limbs of sap-laden pines
trees stretching to pierce the sky
a sky that will not bleed
that is left to me
lying fearless and numb
on a bed of broken needles
if I embrace the silence
will I still exist?
I close my eyes
a tree falls in the forest
I hear nothing
and finally—
I am afraid.




                CROWDED THOUGHTS   4
5   CROWDED THOUGHTS
               Tranquility


                     C
here
the expansive wilderness
barren and fertile
an inviting juxtaposition
sitting in quiet detachment
the strength of stillness
surrounded by a buttressing forest
like an arboreal cathedral
alone within its walls
focusing on a solitary temperament
but the vacancy will not last
creativity trickles into the void
a sentient stirring of compassion
probing tendrils that awaken sensuality
with a choice of simple affection
or Love unfettered by fear




                CROWDED THOUGHTS   6
                  C
  This poem is based on a pencil sketch
of an event that happened during WWII.
   I think you can figure out its origin.




           7   CROWDED THOUGHTS
           After the Drop


                      C
the town lay bleached
buildings and foundations powdered
topsoil as pumice
statues pitted
their obsidian flaking like apache tear

the tainted air hung in a radioactive haze
inhaled only by the outlines of the vanquished
who were seared to the ground
like charcoal shadows

and among rubble
one chalky wall stood
mutant protest to the surrender




                 CROWDED THOUGHTS   8
                      C
I was antiquing one day when I saw a bronze hand
     reaching out above a jumble of furniture.
       A shaft of light illuminated the hand.
    When I pulled away the furniture I found a
   beautiful bronze sculpture of a female dancer.
       That sculpture and William Stegnar’s
   Pulitzer Prize winning book Angle of Repose
     were the creative catalysts for this poem.




               9   CROWDED THOUGHTS
          Angle of Repose


                      C
She stands in the light
an angel in situ
her head wrapped in gilded turban
the face, a study of calm introspection
literal eyes closed while she views the world
through a single umbilical window
her neck exquisite and swan-like
the back arched in poised elegance
arms stretched in obtuse angles
like a maternal compass
tracing a family circle that links
past, present and future generations
her hands open and adorned with beaded wristlets
hips trimmed by serpentine girdle
and seven-petaled asters
the sculptured legs ensconced in a bronze sarong
her feet bare to feel the gentle rhythms
of a celestial arabesque
all these things frozen in motion—
a model of tranquility and grace



                CROWDED THOUGHTS   10
                 C
       Life is not just a collection
       of experiences and events.
  It is also a search for our true self.
 Until we find our “authentic” voice,
  we will never discover who we are
and our role in this complicated world.




          11   CROWDED THOUGHTS
             Authenticity


                      C
Where is the clarity?
my view is molten,
self-inflicted images
pour down in liquid flux

if I could find their meaning
each one a sturdy girder
holding up a bridge of enlightenment
across this span of confusion

there can be no epiphany
until I am found
no longer in doubt,
rich and authentic

for now I will dig
brushing away the sand
an artifact in search
of its own discovery




                CROWDED THOUGHTS   12
                  C
 I purchased an amber necklace as a gift.
I have always been fascinated with amber
  since it is an organic record of history.
  What if it were also a metaphor for the
         development of our souls?
    It might sound something like this.




           13   CROWDED THOUGHTS
        Beads of Wisdom


                      C
every soul begins as a string—
a virgin line with no knowledge or understanding
but with each passing life—
another ambered experience is added
one more resinous bead of wisdom
another knot of uncertainty
to hold it in place...




                CROWDED THOUGHTS   14
                        C
   We hav
				
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Description: rowded Thoughts is an anthology of poems that Duane Harold Connell wrote over a span of twenty-five years. He believes that poetry is a peculiar thing. It can lift us to heights of ecstasy or drag us through the depths of despair. It can hum along and quietly seduce us or slap us in the face with harsh realism. The ideas for his poems came to him as small impressions that coalesced into complete thoughts. Eventually, those thoughts became? crowded.? They had a weight that was palpable and persistent and became impossible for him to suppress. They are a written expression of feelings he believes we all have. He thinks anyone can be a poet. The skill lies not in the choice of individual words but in the impact they have when they are properly combined. You don?t need to be well read or formally educated. You only need an idea and the will to express it. He hopes this book will help you find your unique voice and a passion for expressing your own crowded thoughts.
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