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He Said She Said

VIEWS: 15 PAGES: 2

									Title:
He Said, She Said

Word Count:
463

Summary:
In relationship we often hear couples expressing their displeasure with
each other. The focus is always on the other half and their faults. This
new perspective brings the focus back on the relationship and how you can
achieve the bliss you so desire.


Keywords:
relationship,relationships,love,divorce,unhealthy
relationship,relationship goals,healthy relations


Article Body:
<b><i>The Relationship Triangle</b></i>

Most people get involved in a relationship for the right reasons and
leave a relationship for the wrong reasons. In fact, most of us have been
guilty of it at one time or another and of being a complete spaz
demanding we get our way in the relationship. Remember the movie He Said,
She Said? A constant power struggle ensues when you make the relationship
all about you. So why do we do it?

I believe the reason this happens is that we make unhealthy relationship
choices. In our deepest inner desires, we naturally long for
companionship and love in our lives. In our haste, we choose unwisely and
compromise for that "next person" that comes along to satisfy that
longing. In this context, it's easy to bend and flex because in the
beginning we still don't know that person. Then as we do get to know
them, we find ourselves making more compromises because we don't have the
guts to fess up to our mistakes and all sorts of other irrational reasons
rambling through our head to avoid hurting someone else. Bad move, fess
up.

In our relationship goals, we need to be much more aware of ourselves,
our habits, our desires, our likes and dislikes. The focus should not be
on the person, the focus should be on the relationship. Even in the
dating context - it could lead to something serious - we should focus on
the relationship goals. What is it you want in a relationship? Who are
you in a relationship? What do you need from the relationship? And, and,
and... take stock and stay open to change, improvements, discovery and
more.

When you can answer these questions more clearly and you find yourself
able to understand what you can give to the relationship, you choose your
partners more wisely. You also communicate more openly and honestly
because it is less about you and more about the relationship. The other
person can listen better because it is more about the relationship and
less about them. And adjustments can be made so much more smoothly from
both sides when we communicate on the relationship.

So look at it like a triangle. You on one side, your partner on the
other. Instead of eyeballing and measuring each other, look to the peak -
the Relationship. That's your goal, that's your partners goal, and you
look only at yourself in comparison to the relationship goals. You're
teammates, you see the goal, and now you can work more effectively
together.

<i>It's not about me, it's about the relationship. Can I give that to
achieve this in the relationship? Do I want that? Yes, then let's do
it.</i>

								
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