Body Language Secrets You Should Know by snoopdoggywuf

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									Title:
Body Language Secrets You Should Know

Word Count:
915

Summary:
Your face and body are constantly sending out messages to other people
about your mood and what kind of person you are. Your body language could
be scaring other people away. Learn why, and find out what you can do
about it.


Keywords:
body language, body language signals, first impressions, making a good
impression, making conversation, making new friends, social skills, shy,
lonely, make more friends, overcome shyness,


Article Body:
Even when you don’t say a word, other people can still learn a lot about
what kind of person you are and what you are thinking and feeling.

How do other people do this? By studying your body language.

The term body language refers to the messages you send out with your body
gestures and facial expressions.

Some body language experts claim that only about 7% of our messages to
other people are communicated through the words we speak. The rest of our
messages are conveyed through our body language, tone of voice, and
facial expressions.

During your entire life you have been sending messages to others through
your posture, gestures, and facial expressions.

When   you were an infant, before you learned to speak, people were peering
into   your little baby face, looking at your gestures, and listening to
your   little cries and gurgles, trying to decipher what kind of mood you
were   in, and what you were trying to say.

And you have been reacting to the body language, voice tone, and facial
expressions of the people around you all your life, even though you may
not have been consciously aware of it.

What sorts of messages are you conveying to others with your body
language? Does your body language encourage other people to approach you?
Or do you subconsciously warn them to stay away?

Take a moment to think about how you usually stand or sit when you are
with other people. What are you doing with your hands? Where are you
looking with your eyes?
Does your face express interest in the people you are with, or does your
face stay a tense, stony mask?

When you are sitting or standing, do you usually cross your arms across
your chest? If this is your typical way of standing or sitting, how do
you think other people interpret this posture? Did you realize that most
people will subconsciously interpret your arms crossed in front of your
chest as a signal that you don’t want anyone to approach you? Only the
bravest souls are likely to come forward when you adopt this posture.

If you stand awkwardly, with your chest slumped forward, your shoulders
drooping, and your eyes avoiding everyone else, people are likely to
decide you are very depressed or completely lacking in confidence. They
may fear that trying to talk with you will be an awkward experience.

When you stand awkwardly, you do not project any sign that you are
confident in yourself, or that you have any interest in the people around
you. Instead you look like you are trying to disappear.

No matter how desperately you want someone to come over and befriend you,
if your body language projects awkwardness or disinterest in others, it’s
not very likely that many people will try to start a conversation with
you.

If some body language signals can frighten people away, are there signals
that will encourage people to come forward and approach you? Yes, you can
look much more approachable to others if you adopt body language that is
open and non-threatening.

Whether you are sitting or standing, aim for a posture that is upright
and alert, yet relaxed. If you notice that your chest or shoulders are
slumping, straighten up.

Become aware of the way you are breathing. Does your breath move in and
out smoothly? Or does it move with jerky little stops and starts?

If you notice that you are holding your breath, or breathing in a
shallow, jerky manner, this is a sign of anxiety. When you breathe
shallowly, you have to breathe more often, which can increase your
appearance of nervousness. Consciously tell all the muscles of your body
to relax. Use your abdomen to help you breathe smoothly and deeply. Let
the bottom part of your lungs fill up with air as well as the top.

What are you doing with your hands? If you get nervous in social
situations, you may feel that no matter what you do with your hands, it’s
the wrong thing. Many people who cross their arms in front of their chest
are probably doing so at least in part because they don’t know where else
to put their hands.

You should never cross your arms in front of your chest unless you really
don’t want anybody to approach you. That is the message this gesture
sends out.
If you want to look open and approachable, keep your arms at your sides,
or put one hand in your pocket. If you want to hold something in one
hand, keep your hand at the side of your body, and not in front of you.
Holding your arm in front of your body can be seen as a signal that you
want to defend yourself against other people.

Stay aware of and focused on your surroundings and the people around you.
If you find yourself tuning out your surroundings, you will start to
focus too much on your negative inner sensations and thoughts. This can
quickly increase your anxiety to a very uncomfortable level.

What sort of facial expression should you have if you want people to
approach you?

In most cases, a gentle, pleasant smile should do the trick. Too much of
a smile that never softens can look forced and nervous. A pleasant smile
with a twinkle in your eyes will convey to other people the impression
that chatting with you will be a pleasant experience.

								
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