1 Riding On Too The Newsletter of the Ulysses Club, Canberra Branch PO Box 387, Curtin, ACT 2605 Taking Canberra for a ride WWW.ULYSSES.ORG.AU/BRANCHES/CANBERRA Volume : 20 Gold Coin Number : 9 October 2006 Newsletter No: 154 $ Donation Please Membership ACT Region: 400+ The Crew PRESIDENT Jennifer Woods Who is this potential Old Fart?? Jennifer.Woods@kaz-group.com SECRETARY Steve Holloway firstname.lastname@example.org TREASURER Leo Farrelly email@example.com COMMITTEE MEMBERS Trevor McLeod - Ride co-ordinator firstname.lastname@example.org Yes, it’s Leo Farrelly. Alan Arnold (The secret is using a texta on the slightly receding pate) email@example.com Lyn Munday Alan.Munday@bigpond.com.au Peter Arday firstname.lastname@example.org Peter Newark email@example.com Mal Garner firstname.lastname@example.org EDITOR Adrian Bader email@example.com HISTORIAN Kristine Bader firstname.lastname@example.org QUARTERMASTER Junk is something you've kept for years and throw Jan Wills away three weeks before you need it. email@example.com The Ulysses Club Canberra Branch in compliance with the Privacy Act 1988 (as amended Dec 2001) wishes to advise the contributors of information to the club magazine Riding On 2, that the information provided will be made available to the membership and public at large via printed and/or electronic media (e-mail and Internet). PRESIDENT’S REPORT Hi All, This last month was another busy month for us – the mid week group of “Usual Suspects” as well as our weekend ride team continue to be busy providing us with a variety of rides. The BBQ team continues their work, providing food and drink at CMC to raise funds for charity. They welcome your help, so if you have a few spare hours, please think about getting involved. A group of about 26 headed on down to Merimbula for the long weekend. We had a disgraceful time, the caravan park where we stayed was fantastic – beautiful views of Tura beach and the ocean!! We headed out to sea early on Sunday morning (some of us a little worse for wear after too many flowers the night before) to try to see some whales – and see them we did as well as dolphins and seals! They really are magnificent animals and to see them doing their own thing was wonderful. There were some Ulysseans who were obviously a fan of Procol Harem’s hit “A Whiter Shade of Pale” who kept a very low profile during the trip, doing their best to use up the boats supply of sick bags! Actually a “Whiter Shade of Green” was more like it…Truly disgraceful! Thanks to the team who are helping to organise the “Lets Not Call It An Odyssey” Rally in March next year – the event will be a hoot – well, we are having fun doing the organising! Make sure you plan to attend. And start to practise your bush yarns and tall stories!! More later…. And here’s another reminder about the Toy Run on the 9th December – bring your piggy banks in to Mal by next meeting and find your Santa hat to wear on the ride. And don’t forget the Christmas Party on the 2nd December. As the theme is Glamour and Glitz, you can let your imagination run free and add some pizzaz – wear the formal frock, or add some sequins to your tee shirt, add the false eyelashes, throw a boa around your shoulders – bring your bling!! (Next month I’ll have some suggestions for the girls). There’ll be good food, dancing and a decorated table competition – even a prize for the best one!! If you are a new member, just let Lynn know and she’ll put you in a group for the tables – when you arrive you will find you have some friendly people to have some drinks and share a meal with. Let’s have a fabulous turn up and have a truly Ulysses disgraceful night!! Grand Brown Owl - Jennifer Correspondence In September/October Arthritis ACT newsletter Jamberoo Pub flyer and letter Ballarat Rovers MCC 2007 Kangaroo Rally details Offer of accommodation for the Snowy Ride in November from Richard and Sally Gallimore Thank you letter and donation from G Stanley Flyer from The Alpine Angler Wagga Wagga newsletter VV&CMCC newsletter NatCom correspondence re Welfare Officer and Membership forms Christmas party 2006 It’s going to be on SATURDAY 2ND DECEMBER AT 7:30. You should turn up to MURRUMBIDGEE COUNTRY CLUB, KAMBAH POOL RD KAMBAH. FOR $25 you’ll get Buffet Dinner with hot and cold selections. You can have desert too, if there’s still room. Music will be supplied by a DJ. Drinks will be at club prices. The theme is Glamour and Glitz - as well as the decorated table competition If you’re going to go FULL PAYMENT IS DUE BY THE 21ST NOVEMBER. There is a meeting that night. Do you want to know more? Contact Lyn Munday on 6255 1166 (h) or 0419 213 944 (m) or firstname.lastname@example.org Ulysses Canberra Branch General Meeting 19th September 2006 Meeting opened: 8:05 pm. Attendance: 69 Apologies: Ian & Wendy Bullock, Alan Rolph, Maria Woodyard, Ollie Walker, Jan Stevens, Dave Stevens. Welcome new Members & Visitors: David Ault – MRA, Beth Robinson, Ian Forsyth. Acceptance of previous minutes: Evan Chas. Business arising from previous minutes: The new members information sheet has been finalised and will be available from the next meeting. A big thank you to Lyn Munday and all those who attended the Dirty Dick’s night. Correspondence In: VVMCC newsletter Wagga Wagga newsletter MIA newsletter Correspondence Out: nil Business arising from correspondence: nil President’s Report: As tabled in the September RO 2. A quick reminder that the Toy Run is coming up in December and you need to get your piggy banks in to Mal Garner so that the proceeds can be handed over at that time. Treasurer’s report: Jennifer gave a brief report in Leo’s absence. BBQ proceeds for charity now amount to $2,400.00. Acceptance of Treasurer’s report: Dave Robinson and Adrian Bader. Social Secretary’s report: Some new Branch shirts still available @ $35.00 or $37.00 with pocket. Christmas Party is to be at the Murrumbidgee Country Club, money and numbers need too be finalised at the November meeting. Theme is to be “Glitz and Glam” and there will be a best dressed table competition. Ride Co-ordinator’s report: Temora weekend accommodation will need to be finalised by next weekend. Cost is $95 single or $120 twin share. Trevor thanked Peter and Dave for looking after the rides while he was otherwise occupied. Gearshop report: There are still some people who have not picked up their name badges. In future all name badges must be paid for prior to order being placed. Cont. page 5 Ulysses Canberra Branch General Meeting 19th September 2006 (Cont.) Ride Development report: The RTA have a website that lists known road service problems. A link will be placed on our website as well as one to the Urban Services equivalent. Webmaster report: The photo gallery is now up and running all comments welcome. Editor’s report: Please send in your reports. Historian’s report: ntr General Business: David Ault: The Trials Club will be attending the Marques in the Park, unfortunately it conflicts with the Sydney Motor Show. About 800 classic cars will be present at the rear of the Ginninderra High School. They are looking for a bigger representation of bikes. The MRA and other clubs are invited as well. Anyone who wants to attend needs to see Jennifer. There will be a Trials event this Sunday. No charge for spectators. Trials is the only motor sport included in the Masters Games. If you become an official then you can get access to all motor sport events. Graham: The Adventure Riders SIG is looking for some local rides, see Graham for more details. Jennifer: Derek Holyoake took out the oldest rider award at the Ghost Town Rally, congratulations Derek. Chas: The visit to view some fine classic bikes is scheduled for November 26. More information will be available at the next meeting. Alan: Whale Watching Weekend, there are still places, see Alan after the meeting. Alan and Chris are unable to attend Coffs AGM next year and have a two bedroom apartment available for rent. See Alan after the meeting. Correction to August minutes: “Last month in the August minutes there was a reference to Ankie and Elca “strongly lobbying” for the theme. This should have read “suggesting”. Meeting closed 8:45 pm. Next meeting Tuesday 17th October, Canberra RSL Club, Moore St. Civic. POSITION VACANT Historian Extraordinaire required as keeper and maintainer of the Ulysses Club Canberra Branch Holy Grail. Please contact Kristine Bader on (H) 6292 5295 (W) 6268 4297 (M) 0422 222 093 or email: email@example.com Please mark Attention Kristine. (She won’t let me read her mail....Ed) RIDE REPORTS The Ghost Town Rally Ride to Broken Hill 6-12 September 2006 Contributions by: John White Peter Wilson Peter Newark Robert Crick Wednesday 6 Sep 2006 8.30am, overcast, lousy weather forecast, and the Hall lay-by as populated by Peter Wilson (BMW R1100S), Peter Laidlaw (Suzuki Bandit 1200), Peter Newark (Honda Shadow 750), Derek Holyoake (Vespa Scooter 250), Denis Appel (BMW F650CS), Ashley Plumb (Kawasaki ZZR1100 + trailer), John White (Mazda MX5), and Michael Allam (BMW R100RT, coming for the ride to Gundagai). Robert Crick (Honda VFR800) was running late. Majority vote was for a leisurely run down the mind numbing Hume and Sturt Highways, but some thought a run elsewhere (through Cootamundra, etc) would be a better thing – they thought they needed corners to keep the tyre wear even. So six set off at modest law abiding speeds, whilst two Peters (PW and PL) waited for Robert. The plan was for all to meet at Narrandera for lunch. For the six on the way to Gundagai - the rain came, lightly at first, but later a bit on the heavy side. Fuel for some at Gundagai, then discovered that the diner at the truck stop is no more, so up to Ronald’s Golden Arches for coffee. Michael was almost happy that he wasn’t going on in the now hefty rain. By the time they arrived in Narrandera, the “Go Faster” trio were ready to move on; coffee and snacks, and back on the wet road for Hay. Robert Crick arrived at the Hall lay-by around 8.45am to be greeted by Peter Laidlaw and Peter Wilson. (The others had already departed for the journey to Gundagai and beyond.) The “trio” (RC, PL and PW) headed for Narrandera via Harden, Cootamundra, Junee and Coolamon. The “trio” had planned a coffee stop at Cootamundra, however, cold fingers wouldn’t last that long and required a stop, a little earlier, at Harden. By this time it was constant light rain and cold! After Harden it was a petrol stop at Junee and then onto Coolamon and Narrandera. All was going OK until around Coolamon when the constant light rain became constant heavy rain. At Narrandera truck stop it was a sprint from the bikes for cover at the café. The sight of three dripping wet riders was met with an immediate response from staff – they put out those yellow signs on the floor, “caution wet floor”. There was the temptation of an overnight in Narrandera, however, after a quick lunch with the “straight road” group, the “trio” rode on towards Hay with some glimpses of sunshine – but mostly heavy rain. At Hay, everyone, except John W in the MX5, discovered that nothing is completely waterproof; gloves, boots, jackets, etc, were all soaking wet. An evening at a local pub, very good meals and there was the added company of John (BMW K1200RS from Bathurst), Peter N and John W met him there last year on their way to Broken Hill, and Evan Field (BMW R100RT from Bendigo), a long time riding mate of Denis Appel. Thursday 7 Sep 2006 It was an early departure for the ride to Balranald and a hearty breakfast at the truck stop on the Hay side of town. From there, it was again a two party ride through Euston for all to meet at Wentworth for lunch. At Wentworth, we saw two ambulances, a paramedic van, plus police vehicles hurrying north to a “prang” not far up the road. Evan, Denis and John White stopped a couple of hundred metres before the crash scene because Evan’s R100RT was giving off a fine cloud of blue smoke; after much fiddling around it was resolved as a mis-seating o-ring under the oil filter cover, allowing oil to drip onto the exhaust. By the time they got going again, a very bent Nissan Patrol and the remnants of its caravan had been put back on their wheels, and the injured whisked off in the ambulances. Skid marks indicated that they had dropped left wheels off the bitumen, overcorrected on the steering, hit the brakes, skidded at 45 degrees across the road and down the ditch on the other side – messy. Cont. page 7 The Ghost Town Rally (Cont.) At Broken Hill – cold, cold, cold and wet. Ashley, Denis and Evan wisely decided camping was out for that night and booked into the West Darling pub, while the rest of the group fully occupied the Theatre Royal pub. John (from Bathurst) was delayed in Hay, waiting for a new battery, and would arrive on Friday. A good dinner for all at the Theatre Royal and, of course, some port to “round-off” the meal. Friday 8 Sep 2006 On arrival in Broken Hill, Derek’s scooter had excessive exhaust noise and no back brake – so it went into a workshop before we headed out to the racecourse to register for the “Ghost Town Rally”. Ashley was still keen to camp – so he moved out of the pub and set up his tent at the Rally site. John W lasted one night at the Theatre Royal Hotel before going around to the Country Comfort Motel. Then it was time to act the tourist and ride to Silverton and the lookout over the Mundi Mundi plains – a 180 degree view of dead flat plains to the horizon (you can see the earth’s curvature). Onto the Umberumberka Dam and its old steam driven pumping station were worth the visit. Back to the Silverton pub for lunch (an obligatory), check out the art galleries and return to Broken Hill. Still freezing, so three opted for a quiet “Chinese” feed in town, but other more hardy types braved the elements at the rally. It was a bus to the racecourse (rally site), not sure whether the wind eased or the West End kicked in – it didn’t feel that cold at the racecourse, it was an enjoyable night. A meal was served in an enclosed area underneath the grandstand – a chance to meet others at the rally and be away from that weather. There was entertainment, two types of music – Country and Western, of course! Saturday 9 Sep 2006 It rained overnight and the roads were still damp in the morning, expected maximum of 13 degrees. All decided to leave the bikes undercover at the rear of the hotel. From our hotel balcony, we watched other rally participants in the bike parade – we were not interested in joining the parade as our bikes were dirty and would look somewhat ordinary compared to those shiny cruisers. Derek collected his scooter from the workshop, but the rear brake line had a pin-prick hole, possibly from the broken exhaust bracket, and there was no replacement available there – a patch-up job on the exhaust and still no rear brake, suggested it would be a careful ride home. We walked up the “slag heap” overlooking the town, to visit the miners’ memorial and have lunch at the café – great views of the city. In the afternoon, most acted like tourists with visits to Pro Hart Gallery, etc. Late in the afternoon we travelled via bus to the racecourse for a meal and drinks. In the freezing cold wind we waited for the presentation – Derek won the oldest rider award. A very nice trophy – it was definitely worth the wait in the cold conditions. We were all anxious to get back to the hotel ASAP – it was cold and windy. Back to the Theatre Royal for some port! Sunday 10 Sep 2006 No rain, blue skies and a forecast maximum of 18 degrees. Departure plans were brought forward from Monday morning, as Evan, Ashley and John (from Bathurst) had to get away early; Denis Appel and John White left with them. All had an easy run back through Wentworth to Euston, where Evan cut off into Victoria for the trip to Bendigo. Ashley, Denis and the two Johns stayed over at Hay again, another pleasant evening at the pub. Two of the “five” remaining in Broken Hill, Robert Crick and Peter Wilson, were early from slumber and had a quick look at the Indian Pacific as it was stopped at Broken Hill station. Quite an impressive train; some enterprising locals set up temporary “market type” shops at the station to sell a variety of souvenirs to many international tourists on the train. For some reason, “Charlotte’s Café” (our favourite spot for breakfast), is very popular with train travellers during their hour or so stop in Broken Hill. Perhaps “railway food and coffee” hasn’t changed over the years! Cont. page 8 The Ghost Town Rally (Cont.) Peter Newark and Derek Holyoake departed Broken Hill around mid morning after a leisurely breakfast. The “trio” (Peter Laidlaw, Robert Crick and Peter Wilson) rode to the sculpture site and living desert to do more sightseeing. The “trio” left Broken Hill around midday for the journey to Wentworth and to meet Peter Newark and Derek. A quick ride “down the road” to the site of the Darling meeting the Murray River. The repair job on the Vespa’s exhaust didn’t last very long - Derek was riding a very noisy scooter with no rear brake. The “five” rode on to Mildura for an overnight stay at the Edge Hotel Motel – Buronga (actu- ally in NSW). This venue was recommended by Peter Laidlaw – we weren’t disappointed, definitely the place to stay in the future. Peter N was still training all on the fine art of drinking port. Monday 11 Sep 2006 Ashley, Denis and the two Johns left Hay early for a relaxed run back through West Wyalong and on towards their respective homes. The other “five” left Mildura for the ride towards Narrandera with the intention of an overnight stop. A brief discussion with a biker (also a prison warden) in Narrandera encouraged the “five” to ride onto Junee for an overnight stop. (Apparently, Narrandera has the highest rate of juvenile crime in the district – the bikes might be attractive items!) A good night at the Junee Motor Inn, that is adjacent to the Ex-Services Club – very convenient walk after a “few” drinks! Tuesday 12 June 2006 The “five” rode on from Junee to Cootamundra, Harden for coffee and then home. The last two days on the bike were under blue skies and sunshine – a nice way to finish a long journey. The weather was not kind to us on the trip to Broken Hill and whilst in Broken Hill – let’s hope the weather is much better next year. In summary, one of the “must do” motorcycle journeys – perhaps, with more time in the future, a detour via Victoria to avoid the boredom of the “Hay Plains”. The distance was somewhere between 2,200 - 2,400 kilometres, depending on the odometer and the various detours. Thanks to the Ulysses Club in Broken Hill for an enjoyable rally (we know they had no control over the weather). 1 October 2006 Ride to Tathra Attendees: Adrian & Kristine Bader Yamaha Royal Star XVZ1300TF Venture Andrew Campbell Yamaha FJR1300 Peter Arday Yamaha Royal Star XVZ1300TF Venture Mick Harvey Yamaha FJR1300 Wayne & Andrea Medcraft Honda Blackbird Shane Moss Honda Deauville Evan Kemp Triumph Speed Triple Robert De Groot Kawasaki VTX 1300 Garry McCurley Honda VFR 800 Greg Lance Triumph Sprint Trevor Mcleod BMW R1150RT Mike Szczerbiak KTM 990 Warren Wills Triumph Rocket 3 Andrew Woodman Yamaha YZF600 Darren Beauchamp Honda VFR750 Gary McCudden Kawasaki ZX12 Fred Madsen Triumph Daytona 675 Leaving home with a great forecast I headed down to meet up with the 6-7 riders I thought may show up given the high patronage by members that had gone to Merimbula for the weekend to do some whale watching. Cont. page 9 1 October 2006 Ride to Tathra (Cont.) On arriving at the servo in Williamsdale there was an incredible line-up of bikes and people waiting to head off. Prior to our departure a truckie advised us that the police were in force on the roads leading to and around Cooma. Five minutes later having crossed into NSW was the standard “Operations South Roads” sign but on this occasion their focus was on “Motorcycle Speeding” what the ???? Fortunately being a responsible group of motorcyclists we proceeded down the road at legal speeds and had our first of many encounters with the constabulary for the day. The ride to Nimatabel was uneventful given it was the Monaro Hwy (yawn) and we all stopped for a morning tea break. Here we were joined by two more riders one coming up from Bega. From there we headed down the Brown and onto Bega to refuel before moving onto the Tathra Hotel for lunch. The hotel bistro included a large outdoor deck that provided a magnificent vista of the ocean and the seafood was easy on the palate. If you ever go down by bike there is a large parking area adjacent the hotel that means your bike is away from the cars and visible at all times. The departure time of 2:00pm was delayed as the two irreverent Yamaha XVZ riders were undertaking emergency repairs to the Dutchman’s radio, and oops I turned on the ignition to discover an apparent lack of voltage. (Slinging off is bad karma Trev….Ed). Nothing like jump starting an 1150cc two cylinder bike, eventually with assistance it finally got going and we were all able to set off. Some 10 klms out of Tathra we turned off for Merimbula, however a lack of a corner marker resulted in one person continuing on and hopefully making it home alone. By the time this was discovered by tail- end Charlie we had no choice but to continue on the ride back through Candelo and Bemboka before climbing the Brown. This is always a favourite section of road a great fun for those feeling constrained. The trip back to Polo Flat servo was again uneventful as we pottered down the highway at the posted speed limit (well most of us). Again we encountered several patrol cars during this section of road, with an interesting encounter by an unnamed person. (We won’t mention this person for fear of embarrassing his wife Suzanne. Ed) We finally congregated at the Caltex servo and had the mandatory ice-cream or drink said our farewells and then headed off on the Monaro. From feedback by those at the servo the outing had been enjoyed by all. I returned home at 5:45pm with just over 620klms on the clock and feeling somewhat sore which was a small price given the enjoyment. Cheers Trevor Whale watching in Merimbula or “how many sick bags did YOU fill”? or Flip’s Tit Bits Saturday morning started out clear and fresh, and it was a really pleasant ride on my lovely 750 Virago, from sunny Belconnen out to Williamsdale, with a full tank and an empty bladder – although I did manage to get every single red light through Tuggeranong. Riding through Tuggers is an experience in itself. You know, it’s not like a car – you can’t just lock the doors to stop the local crims from mugging you, so I put on my toughest biker chick look and growled a lot. I realised it wasn’t really working when all the little kids started pointing and laughing at me. At Williamsdale we met up, and I greeted my old and new friends and we headed out, me on my lovely 750 Virago, right on time, with full tanks and empty bladders. Lunch was at the famous pie shop in Bemboka. As instructed by Alan Arnold, and being the submissive little thing that I am (and because there is a vicious rumour that I may have, possibly, only once, run out of petrol on a club ride), I rode straight past the pie shop in search of the petrol station, because there’s nothing like a full tank and an empty bladder. Now I KNOW he said it was only 300 METRES past the pie shop, but when I hadn’t found it after going one kilometre, I thought that he might have meant 3 KILOMETRES, so I kept on riding, and riding, and riding. Five kilometres later, I realised that something was seriously wrong – lots of green grass and gentle sloping hills, but there was no petrol station. Not that I’m slow. Just obedient. And respectful. Really. I chucked a u-turn and hurtled back towards town on my lovely 750 Virago. By this time everyone else was tucking into their pies and coffee, so I pull in and decided to find the man who speaks with fork tongue. “Oh” he says, “its 300m BEFORE the pie shop”…..yeah, nice one Alan…. GRRRRRR ….so, it’s a pie, coffee, full tank and an empty bladder and off we go again, me on my lovely 750 Virago. I’m up near the front of the pack on my lovely 750 Virago, as we ride through Candelo when one of the locals starts waving at me. Thinking she’s just jealous of my lovely 750 Virago, I waved back and smiled (if she wanted a lovely 750 Virago she should just buy one). My actions sent the woman into a bit of a frenzy and while I know that I am an impressive sight on my lovely 750 Virago, I realised that she wasn’t waving so much as having conniptions. I looked behind me and see what she’s so concerned about and there, having a little lie down in the middle of the road and cuddling his beloved Honda, is Peter Stark. Now, I’ve heard stories about men and their machines, but really, to be doing that in public I thought was a bit off. It wasn’t until I started to turn around that I realised that his tyres had, in fact, hit some gravel and his bike had parted ways with the road. He had not. It’s not a pleasant sight to see anyone on the road, but for me it was doubly bad. You see, Peter and I were sharing a cabin, and if anything had happened to Peter, I would have had to pay all of the cabin fees. Thankfully he was fine, a little scratched, but still able to pull out his wallet, so I was happy. I was a virgin going down on the Brown, but I am happy to say it was a wonderful experience and I enjoyed every second of it. I love riding my lovely 750 Virago. Once we arrived at Merimbula we checked into our accommodation and thoroughly prepared ourselves for happy hour (which was supposed to be at 5pm, but the organiser, who has already been named), was late, so a couple of us had to start without him. Ahh, it was indeed a happy hour…..it turns out that there was a birthday – thanks for the fairy cakes Heather! Hey, speaking of Heather, what happened to your Granny? You wheeled her out for an airing and I never saw her again!!! A courtesy bus was organised to take the mob to the club for dinner – I generously offered to stay back for the second run as we didn’t all fit in the bus at once. I don’t know what Duncan and Sue were doing in the back seat of that bus, but there was an awful lot of moaning and groaning going on. Thank goodness it’s only a short run to the club, because I don’t think I could have contained myself a second longer. I would have had to say something…. or join in…. Cont. on page 11 Whale watching in Merimbula or “how many sick bags did YOU fill”? or Flip’s Tit Bits (Cont.) Once safely inside the club, Beth offered to put in my order for dinner as she was at the front of the queue by then. As I was standing there, considering the menu options, a young girl of about 10 came through the line and asked to be excused. All I did was smile nicely at the child, honestly, but the next thing I know she’s sobbing in the arms of her father. Ok, well, that’s not quite true. I might have said something to the kid, but it was really Beth who made her cry – how was the kid supposed to know that I wasn’t really going to be her new school principal? It’s also not true that I took to moving large flower arrangements around and placing them in front of El Presidente. It is also not true that Max, the club manager, came over and told me to leave all the pot plants alone. It is also not true that I stripped him half naked and then tried to strangle him with his own tie. It is also not true that I slipped him my phone number (I don’t know what’s going on, he still hasn’t called!). Call me a piker, or call me an old fart, but I was tired by 9:30 pm and left the club. I also had an offer of a hot spa in Beth and Shit Head’s1 cabin and who am I to turn down that sort of offer? I did apologise for the 6 inches of water on the floor when I had finished and I did make an attempt to mop it up, honestly. I also apologised for the dozen wet towels and breaking all of the rubber toys that I found when I was rummaging in the bottom of Beth’s bag. Breakfast the next morning was a true feast. My heartfelt thanks to everyone who got up early to make sure we all got fed – because as you will soon learn – some of us needed that food in our stomachs for what was about to happen. Now, if there is one hero in this part of my tale, it’s Justin. I love you Justin. I am forever yours. Without you and your little blue pills I would have suffered, and suffered and suffered, as it was, you fixed me up just fine, thanks! I’ve never been seasick in my entire life before, but whether it was the weather, the boat, or the company, from the moment we got out on the open sea I wanted to throw up. But at least I only WANTED to – poor Heather and Stuart spent 99% of what must have been an excruciating 3 ½ hours, vomiting into a number of little white vomit bags. And they weren’t alone, quite a few of the others on the boat went on to fill their own white bags. I also avoided throwing up by standing at the front of the bow doing my “Rose from the Titanic” impersonation. What I want to know is what happened to Jack? Oh, we did see a number of whales and dolphins - at least those of us who weren’t inspecting the bottom of the little white bags did. I brought one back for you Adrian, but I think you might be find another use for it (see me after the next meeting for a demonstration) hee hee After the boat trip a small group of us decided we couldn’t cope with Magic Mountain and yet more stomach wrenching activity, so we hopped on our bikes, me on my lovely 750 Virago, and headed down to Eden for fish and chips. I hate to say this, but it was both terrible service and terrible food. So we high- tailed it out of there as soon as we could and had a coffee, and then ice-cream, a few kilometres down the road. I like to say at this point that any rumours about what I can do with an ice-cream are totally unfounded and untrue. And I will take challenge at anyone who may suggest otherwise. Once back at base camp, I was ready for a nanny nap, but being the trooper that I am, I dragged my self down for yet another happy hour. Alan Arnold and Heather amused us with some dirty jokes and then Shirley recited a little ditty that she’s waited since 1973 to be able to use. She may bow to public pressure and give another rendition and the next meeting if we ask her. Dinner that night was a self-catered BBQ, but everyone in my group had eaten way too much that day (I repeat, there is no truth to the ice-cream rumours!) so we just kicked back over a few drinks and headed off to bed early (confirming that some of us really are old farts). Cont. on page 12 Whale watching in Merimbula or “how many sick bags did YOU fill”? or Flip’s Tit Bits(Cont.) Breakfast the next morning was again wonderful, but then it was time to leave. Once again, on my lovely 750 Virago, it was off into the distance with a full tank and an empty bladder. The ride up the coast road on my lovely 750 Virago was brilliant and I will definitely be doing it again in the near future. Lunch was at Braidwood in the beer garden at the local pub – and I can fully recommend the steak sandwich – although after some dark short curly hairs were found we were all relieved to find that the chef had dark short curly hair. Then it was time to get back to my real life, such as it is, so I took off on the last leg back to Canberra. Speculation on a large volume of traffic was confirmed and it was a tedious end to a weekend of wonderful riding (or is that a wonderful weekend of riding?). PS Beth: Please stop drooling on my lovely 750 Virago. Felicity (Flip) (Footnotes) 1 He told me his name was Shit Head, honestly! Flip’s support vehicle A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. “I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss’s wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled. But as the days went on I knew that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.” Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He imme- diately began to make the presentation and gave his talk. “I’ll never forget the first day our par- ish priest arrived,” said the politician. “In fact, I had the honour of being the first one to go to him in confession.” Moral: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER BE LATE 7 October 2006 Ride to Young – 320 klms Attendees: Chas & Jen Towie Kawasaki GTR1000 Andrew Campbell Yamaha FJR1300 Peter Stark Honda XL1000V Julie Fiddaman Scooter Rodney Fiddmaman Bug Hawk Scooter Mark Walker Kawasaki Vulcan Nomad 1500 Beth Jones Honda VFR 800 Brian Jones Triumph Sprint David Garnock BMW K1200LT Trevor Mcleod BMW R1150RT Peter Sinfield Kawasaki ER-5 Sylvia Sinfield Yamaha Majesty 250 This was my first chomp and chat ride for more than 12 months and I was pleasantly surprised to see so many coming out for the ride to Young. The morning was perfect with temperatures allowing vented jackets and gloves. With Chas as tail-end Charlie we left the servo at Watson at 10:00am and headed down the Barton Highway, followed by a detour along the Nanima Road before arriving at Murrumbateman. The journey from here to Binalong was enjoyable and without any problems. Following a suggestion from Chas we took the Binalong – Boorowa Road, and in so doing found a very nice café in Binalong, with very accommodating staff. Corner markers performed flawlessly on the series of back-roads with the numerous corners encountered, and our arrival at Young was both timely and coordinated even though there were gaps due to the range of bikes and level of rider experience. We had a very good meal at the Bistro in the main street, the food was plentiful, reasonably priced, very palatable, delivered in very quick time and without any problems. If in Young this is certainly a good place to top up the old body. By the way we noted they now have a video camera and sound recording gear installed … possibly to record table dancers and singers….. can’t mention names but those who attended the Young week-end in June are aware…. Following a discussion with Chas we swapped roles and Chas lead the ride back to Yass via Kingsvale, and again thanks to all those present on the run that performed the role as corner marker, a big thank you as it ensured we all arrived at the café in Yass without any issues. During our short break three police vehicles returned from the Barton Hwy, but as we later discovered they had left one of their brethren in Murrumbateman for those choosing not to restrict their speeds. We then made a separate ways back into Canberra making it home around 4:00pm. The one surprise was a sudden and significant drop in temperature about 10 klms from the border. Warm one minute - bitterly cold the next, a reminder we were back home. Rider of the day goes to Julie, who was able to encourage her 150cc steed to keep pace from Young back to Yass, frequently at the speed limit. That little engine certainly has a big heart. My thanks to all who attended the ride and contributed to its success, as it was the efforts of all that made the ride an enjoyable outing. Cheers Trevor LIGHT-HEARTED STUFF Just in case you’ve forgotten!....... Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV. Oh and... Only in Australia... Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in Australia... Do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their medication while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in Australia... Do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters. Only in Australian ... Do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage. Only in Australia... Do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place. Only in Australia... Are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink NOT TO MENTION... 3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue. 142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts. 58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers. 31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in. 8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth. A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth. Points to Ponder 1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented? 2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes? 3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? 5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? 6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? 7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? 8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? 9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? 10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? 11. Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced tenty one? 12. “I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence? 13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners de pressed? 14. What hair colour do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men? 16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? 17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don’t they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail? 18. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. 19. No one ever says, “It’s only a game” when their team is winning. 20. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE 21. Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? 22. OK ... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,”what does that make the Tennessee Titans? 23. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhoea. Does that mean that one enjoys it? Ulysses Club – Canberra Branch Annual Calendar of Events Event May 06 Jun 06 Jul 06 Aug 06 Sep 06 Oct 06 Nov 06 Dec 06 Jan 07 Feb 07 Mar 07 Apr 07 General Meeting 16th 20th 18th 15th 19th 17th 21st 19th 16th 20th 20th 20th Annual General Meeting 20th 20th Nominations Branch close. Elections Social 19th Dirty 2nd Activities Dick’sTheatre XMAS Restaurant Party Special MRA Annual Toy Run ANZAC Day Rides Blanket Orange/Cbr/ 9th at Temora Run 13th Cowra**BBQ 25th at Yass Special First Aid 10 th Open Day Cyclops Rides/ Course Prostrate at Snowy event Events 3rd & 4th cancer Hydro Black Mtn Awareness Southcare Peninsula Ride Base Weekend Young Merimbula Canberra Day Trips District Whale long weekend Long watching 19thOdyssey Weekend long 10,11 & 12th weekend Charity 18th 15th 15th Funds Preview Select Donate Charity Charity Charity Preferred Funds Options Option Notes: 1. This Annual Program of Events sets out a very busy Branch Program for the period May 2006 to Apr 2007. It is intended to provide members with a consolidated program of activities across all key areas of the Branch. 2. The dates in this Program, apart from the General Meetings and Branch AGM, are proposed. The Branch Committee will firm up these proposed dates as we get closer to the events. 3. This program, deliberately, does not contain a large number of activities that are conducted on a routine basis ie, the fortnightly rides. The Program is not intended to replace the riding calender, but to provide a an overview of the non-routine Branch activities for members. ** Also includes some members from Dubbo, Grenfell and Wollondilly Ride calendar for Sep 2006 to Dec 2006. Organised club rides are on the first Sunday of the month and the Sunday after the Tuesday meeting. Chomp & Chat rides are informal are held on the second Sunday of the month, but may not include a member of the ride coordination team. For more details contact Trevor McLeod on 0411 269 276. Should there be any discrepancy between this ride calendar and the Ulysses.org website the website takes precedence. Monthly meetings are held on the 3rd Tuesday of each month at 8pm Canberra RSL Club, Moore St, Civic. For those who wish to, some members meet at 6.30pm for a Bistro dinner. Date and time Place of departure Destination Ride Comments Skill level September 2006 Sun 3 9.30am Ampol Servo Watson Club ride to Bowral (2) Tues 10 10:00am Ampol Servo Watson Chomp & Chat BBQ Big Hole (3) Sun 24 9.30am Ampol Servo Watson Club ride to Crookwell (2) October 2006 Sun 1 9.30am Williamsdale Servo Club ride to Bega (2) 16 Sun 8 10.00am Ampol Servo Watson Chomp & Chat Young (3) Sun 22 9.30am Williamsdale Servo Club ride to Charlottes Pass (2) November 2006 Sun 5 **8.30am ** Ampol Servo Watson Temora Airshow (2) **Please note early start Ride Leader required. Sun 12 10.00am Ampol Servo Watson Chomp & Chat Traralga (3) Sun 26 9.00am Williamsdale Servo Club ride to Talbingo (1) December 2006 Sun 3 9.00am Ampol Servo Watson Club ride to Ulludulla (2) Sun 10 10.00am Ampol Servo Watson Chomp & Chat Gunning (3) Sun 17 9.00am Williamsdale Servo Club ride to Bermagui (1) Skill Level Definitions ( ) 1. Long and difficult. Experienced riders only. 2. Medium length and not too scary. Suitable for most riders. 3. Short easy ride; an easy day. Suitable for everyone. THE MID WEEK RIDE September, October and November 2006 “USUAL SUSPECTS” SPRING CALENDAR DATE DEPARTURE PLACE & TIME DESTINATION 6 Sept 10.30am - Hunnyz Café, Bungendore Braidwood, the Clyde, Nelligen (L) Picnic, then Bungendore (C) (210kms+) 6-12 Sept Ghost Town Rally, Broken Hill 13 Sept 10.30am - McDonalds, Weston Recovery ride - Uriarra, Cotter, Tharwa, Honeysuckle (BBQ), options for coffee (150kms+) 20 Sept 9.30am - Mc Donalds, Dickson Barton Hwy, Boorowa(C), Murringo, Young (L), Wombat, Harden, Yass (C) (320kms+) 27 Sept 9.00am - Hunnyz Café, Bungendore Tarago, Marulan(C), Fitzroy Falls, Cambewarra Lookout (L), Nowra, Ulladulla(C), Braidwood(C), (480kms+) 4 Oct 9.30am - McDonalds, Weston Visit Peter & Ann – Vintage Bikes, Honeysuckle (BBQ), Cotter, Stromlo (C) (150kms+) 11 Oct 9.30am - McDonalds, Weston Mtn Creek Rd (dirt), Yass(C), Dalton, Gunning, Old South Rd, Goulburn (L) Picnic, coffee? (300kms+) 18 Oct 9.30am - Hunnyz Café, Bungendore Braidwood, Nelligen (C), Tuross (L) (O’Brien’s Wharf), Braidwood, Bungendore (C), (300kms+) 25 Oct 9.30am - McDonalds, Dickson Gunning, Crookwell (C), (dirt sections) Abercrombie Caves (L) (BBQ), Gunning (C), (380kms+) 1 Nov 9.30am - Caltex Petrol (Woolworths), Hume Cooma (C), Berridale, Jindabyne (L), Beloka, Dalgety, Maffra, Cooma (C) (370kms+) 8 Nov 9.30am - McDonalds, Dickson Barton Hwy, Boorowa (C), Wyangala Dam, Cowra (L), Young, Harden (C), (450Kms+) (the shorter ride – after coffee at Boorowa, ride to Harden (L), then return via Yass (C), (280+kms) 15 Nov 9.30am - McDonalds, Fyshwick (Newcastle St) Visit Mick Owen (talk about Intermot – Cologne), then Yass (Riverside Park) (L) (BBQ), coffee? (150kms+) 22 Nov 9.30am - Hunnyz Café, Bungendore Braidwood, Nelligen (C), Tuross (L) (O’Brien’s Wharf), Braidwood, Bungendore (C), (300kms+) 29 Nov 8.30am - Caltex Petrol (Woolworths), Hume Cooma, Adaminaby(C), Kiandra, Tumut (L), Gundagai, Cootamundra(C), Harden, Yass(C) (550kms+) • For rides designated as Picnic or BBQ, please remember that some locations do not have takeaway food available, i.e. BYO. (L) = Lunch; (C) = Coffee • Overnight Trips: Planning a ride to Nelson Bay in October and Mt Hotham in November – details to be advised. Riders should be aware that at all times, each individual is responsible for their own actions and ultimate safety.