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Single Living
Increasingly prominent ◦ Alternative to marriage or after divorce ◦ Postponing marriage until later age (higher education) ◦ Sexual patterns vary widely
celibacy long-term monogamy serial monogamy concurrent relationships
Chapter 13
Sexuality and the Adult Years
◦ Research: married people have higher levels of sexual activity and satisfaction, but single people claim their sex lives are more exciting ◦ The Internet
40% of single adults visit dating sites each month Mostly higher income, college educated people 50 and older population is fastest growing segment
Cohabitation
Cohabitation ◦ Living together in a sexual relationship without being married ◦ Most common in mid-20s; 25% of this age group cohabit ◦ Typically short term – 33% for 2 years; only 10% for over 5 years Domestic partnership ◦ Applied to both heterosexual and homosexual couples ◦ Live with a partner in same household in a committed relationship, but are not legally married ◦ Some governments now provide benefits to these couples
Cohabitation
Similarities and Differences to marriage ◦ Less traditional gender roles attitudes and more equity in household tasks ◦ Less desire to have children ◦ Greater instability, unhappiness, and lack of interaction – correlated with length of cohabitation without marriage ◦ Partners tend to differ from each other more ◦ Less likely to be monogamous
Most partners expect their relationship to be sexually exclusive
◦ More older heterosexual couples are cohabiting
Remarriage may have disadvantages
◦ Higher income taxes ◦ End of alimony ◦ Loss of spousal pension, military, or Social Security benefits
Cohabitation ( cont.)
Impact ◦ Of those who end up marrying – more difficulty, higher divorce 50% more likely to end in divorce ◦ Unless the woman never head sex with or lived with a man
other than the one she married (in heterosexual couples)
Marriage
Culture
◦ Collectivist
Emphasize group goals over individual aspirations Marriage unites families Family needs have importance arranged marriage
◦ Individualist
Individual desires and goals Importance placed on love
Causal pattern is unknown ◦ Characteristics cohabitation divorce? ◦ Cohabitation divorce? ◦ Marriage involves more commitment and stability
The Western World
◦ Married people are healthier and happier, both physically and psychologically ◦ Individuals in distressed marriages have greater health risks than divorced individuals
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Marriage (cont.)
Changing Expectations
◦ Discrepancy between ideal and actual marriage practices Unrealistic expectations of fulfillment ◦ Past – economically and socially stable environment for rearing children ◦ Present – financial, social, emotional, spiritual, and perhaps parental needs as well as happiness Today there are fewer support networks for marriage ◦ Less extended family and small communities ◦ Marriage must meet an increased variety of human needs People live longer today, requiring partners to change with each other for many more years
Marriage (cont.)
Same Sex Marriage
◦ 6 countries recognize same sex marriages ◦ 15 countries have partnership benefits for same sex couples ◦ United States
Same sex couples do not have the legal right to marry, and are denied federal benefits that married people have
◦
Child custody, joint insurance policies, status as next of kin for hospital visits or funeral arrangements
In 2006, 39% of the population believed same sex marriage should be legal In 2005, 53% of the population favored providing same sex couples with legal arrangements giving them the same rights as married couples In 2006, 41 states had passed laws banning same sex marriage Same sex marriage: Massachusetts, California, Domestic partnership/civil unions: California, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Maine, Maryland, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Oregon, Vermont, Washington
◦
provide straight and same sex unmarried couples with some rights previously restricted to married couples
State laws recognizing same sex marriages or civil unions do not entitle individuals to recognition in other states or to federal benefits
Marriage (cont.)
Same Sex Marriage
◦ Same sex marriage was legal in Iowa from August 30-31, 2007 after a judge in Polk County District Court heard the case of Varnum vs. Brien and ruled that same sex marriage is legal ◦ However, the same judge issued a stay on his ruling until the county can appeal the case to the Iowa Supreme Court on December 9, 2008 ◦ The 2007 Iowa Code Title XV, Subtitle 1, Chapter 595, Section 2 states:
“1. Only a marriage between a male and a female is valid.”
Polygamy
Marriage between one man and several women More common in collectivist cultures Most common form of marriage throughout history Still prevalent in Middle East and parts of Africa HIV has become a major concern in areas where polygamy is common
◦ Most women in India who contract HIV are in polygamous marriages
◦ A constitutional amendment to ban same sex marriage was proposed in the state legislature during 2008, but did not pass
In the United States
◦ The Mormon Church disavowed the practice in 1890
Fundamentalist sects broke away and still practice polygamy
◦ It is illegal in all 50 states ◦ An estimated 30,000-50,000 polygamists live in the US
Extramarital Relationships
Consensual
◦ Both partners in the marriage know about and agree to sexual involvements outside the marriage
Extramarital Relationships (cont.)
Nonconsensual
Sexual relationship outside of a marriage, without consent (and usually without knowledge) of spouse
◦ NHSLS: 25% of married men, 15% of married women ◦ Varied & complex reasons
◦ ◦ ◦ ◦ Human nature? Desire for excitement and variety; need to confirm desirability Desire to re-establish individuality and autonomy, sense of self Issues in marriage ◦ emotional needs, impetus to end unsatisfying marriage, unavailability of sex
◦ Swinging, or comarital sex
Middle class, middle aged suburban married couples who look to recreational sex of swinging to enhance sex of long term marriage; extramarital sex shared by couple Every state except North Dakota has a swinging club
◦ Open marriage
Married people agree to have intimate and sexual relationships outside their marriage “managed monogamy”
◦ Polyamory
Multiple consensual sexual relationships with emphasis on emotional commitment Trios, groups, etc. CNN “Swingtown”
◦ Characteristics of person Age 18-30 twice as likely More permissive sexual attitudes Higher interest in sex Anonymity (out of town travel or larger city) Weak ties to spouse’s friends, family and activities ◦ Role of Internet? – 41% of adults do not consider relationships limited to the Internet to be cheating ◦ Leads to more marital instability, dishonesty, arguments about trust, self-centeredness, and time spent apart ◦ Guilt, stress, STDs, rejection, anger, resentment, jealousy
Tyra – Open Marriage
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Divorce
43% of first marriages end within 15 years Half of all marriages end in divorce Half of all marriages involve at least one person who has been divorced one or more times General explanations ◦ no-fault divorce laws ◦ increased expectations for marital fulfillment ◦ women's economic independence ◦ Age at marriage and level of education Teens are 2x as likely to divorce as those in their 20s
◦ After 30 is even lower
Divorce (cont.)
Specific reasons or factors
◦ Most frequently cited by couples
Infidelity Poor relationship quality ◦ communication problems ◦ incompatibility ◦ personality clashes ◦ growing apart Serious problems ◦ Drinking or drug use, mental and physical abuse
The lower the education level, the higher the divorce rate
◦ Exception: women with graduate degrees
◦ High SES: lack of love and communication, incompatibility, spouse self-centeredness ◦ Low SES: financial problems, abuse, drinking
Sexuality and Aging
Aging associated with sexlessness
◦ Cultural influence of philosophy of sex = procreation ◦ American society focuses on youth
Double standard & aging
◦ Aging women are viewed negatively ◦ Aging men are viewed more positively Sexual attractiveness enhanced by aging; “distinguished” Mens’ social status and achievements are closely associated with sexual appeal ◦ Pairing of younger woman with older man more acceptable than younger man and older woman
Sexuality and Aging
Sexual activity in older adulthood is more influenced by health Rising incidence of HIV in older adults
◦ 61% of sexually active older adults have unprotected sex ◦ 10% of people over 50 have one or more risk factors for HIV, but are unlikely to request testing
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