Be there or have fun somewhere else you know it wont

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  Sociology       and
Psychology students
                                                             One word chart review
were said to be ‘non-                                1. Basshunter – Now You’re Gone
plussed’ following a
controversial speech                                        Chavtastic
by  university   vice-                               2. Nickelback – Rock Star
chancellor     Brian                                        Loud
                                                     3. ADELE – Chasing Pavements
In the speech, he said                                      Dunno
that he believed all social science students
should in future be granted degrees from York
                                                     4. Rihanna – Don’t Stop The Music
St John University. He recognised that some                 Crap
students are used to their own customs, such as      5. David Jordan – Sun Goes Down
not working, insisting that their degrees are
worth just as much as everybody else’s, and                 Meh
turning up to lectures in no fit state to do

He said, ‘It seems obvious to me that some
students at this university come with ideas and
beliefs that have their roots in a different
world, but I see no reason why we can’t allow
them to follow those beliefs through to the end,
wherever they study, if they do. However, this
does mean they will be able to graduate in the
Minster, so at least they’ll stop whining about

Members of the respective departments were
unavailable for comment, except for a young
Elliott Harris, who did not wish to be spelt
correctly. He simply slurred, ‘I love you’re the best,’ before vomiting copiously
onto the nearest doorstep.

                                                           Coming up later this term
           Next Week at DougSoc:                     Week 8: 1000 Blank White Cards
               Science Night                         Week 9: Public Awareness
We’ll be getting incredibly scientific as we         Week 10: Universally Challenged
split up into groups and raid the Chemistry,
                                                     Every Tuesday, 8pm in Vanbrugh Bar
Physics and Biology departments...actually,
that’s not true. We’re really just recycling
Blue Peter Night, because it’s fun. Bring a
                                                        Be there or . . . have fun
load of stuff that will help us complete our
goal for the evening:        Rodent Murder.
                                                     somewhere else. . . you know it
(Seriously. Veggies may want to give the eve-        won’t be the same, though . . .
ning a miss, because we don’t want whiners.)

                  Add us to some spam lists. That way we don’t feel lonely.

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