7 Basic Rules by cynch



To my fellow traveler,

Life is a journey that starts at birth and ends at death. It’s all the stops and
detours along the way that makes life worth living. You are your greatest
asset. Contrary to popular opinion, except in very rare cases, there is nothing
wrong with you. Any problems you may have come from what you believe
about yourself and how many good things, happiness and success you
believe that you deserve to have in your life.

No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. Making mistakes is how
human beings learn. Your personal power and potential lie in your
knowledge and talents. How you choose to use or ignore your abilities will
determine the kind of life you live. You will make those choices based on
how worthy you believe you are.

You probably know some, if not all, of what you will read here. If so, you
have an advantage. Rather than having to learn it, all you need to do is look
at how much of it you’ve actually applied to yourself. Again, contrary to
popular belief, knowledge is NOT power. Consistently applying the
knowledge you possess in your life is what creates personal power.

May the information in this report touch your inner spirit and help you on
your journey toward your version of success so you can achieve a life filled
with contentment and happiness.

Let me know if I can be of help in any way.

Donna Warren
Founder, Living Without Lies

            You may freely forward this PDF file in its entirety to anyone
            you wish, or post it in its entirety online anywhere you like as
                         long as you don’t change anything.

      Copyright ©2005-2008 www.livingwithoutlies.com All Rights Reserved

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Part I - Introduction
The purpose of this special report is to provide some background
information and introduce the basic concepts of the Living Without Lies
Program and the mindset needed for you to make the changes necessary to
create the kind of life you really want to live.

Many Popular Beliefs Have Been Proven To Be Wrong.

When Benjamin Franklin said, “In this world nothing is certain but death
and taxes”, he forgot to mention change. Change is a universal constant.
Like gravity, change just is. It occurs as a normal part of existence. You can
choose to fight or accept that fact. It’s entirely up to you.

                            There was a time when people believed that
                            the sun revolved around the earth and that
                            the earth was flat. Sounds pretty silly now,
                            doesn’t it? In the middle ages, if you dared
                            to disagree with the official beliefs of the
                            times, you were branded as a heretic. The
                            punishment for heresy was death. Yes, back
                            then you could be executed as a heretic just
                            for disagreeing with the beliefs of the times.
                            In most countries of the world, governments
                            don’t execute dissenters anymore but they
are shunned and given a hard time by the majority of people in most

In the 1950s, scientists made fun of science fiction writers and all their talk
about ray guns because everyone “knew” that something couldn’t be hotter
at its point of contact than it was at its source. Then, in 1958, the laser was
invented at Bell Labs. A laser is a ray of light that is hotter at its point of
contact than it is at its source. The fact that everyone believes something
doesn’t make it true.

The same thing is true about much of what we think and believe about
ourselves. From birth, other people are telling us how we are supposed to
act…what we should think…what we should feel…what our goals in life

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should be…what it means to be successful…what it means to fail and so on.
As a result, most of us have no idea who we really are, what we really
believe and what we really want to do with our lives. It’s no wonder that so
many people seem to be dissatisfied with their lives.

How Could Something Like That Happen?

We live in a society that makes a lot of demands on us. The problem is that
“one size” does not fit all. Each human being has their own unique
combination of talents and abilities that can be used to make the world a
better place. Does a garbage man make less or more of a contribution than a
school teacher…than a doctor…than a farmer…than a paraplegic…than
someone with Down’s syndrome?

I believe that EVERYONE can make a contribution to the greater
good…that all contributions are worthwhile…all contributors worthy of
respect. Unfortunately, for the most part, our society doesn’t agree. Most
people believe that they are somehow lacking…not quite good enough…not
really worthy.

One of the primary reasons for all this disillusionment and unhappiness is
because we have been lying to ourselves since early childhood about what
we really think, feel, believe and want to do. We hid our true thoughts and
desires to please others, to fit into a social group or just to keep ourselves out
of trouble.

Pretending to be someone other than who we really are was a pretty sensible
decision for a small child. Children are totally dependent on the adults
around them for their very survival. Doing whatever it takes to please the
people who have life and death power over you makes perfect sense and
may even be a part of our survival instinct.

Whatever the reason, we started lying to others and suppressing our true
selves so young that it became such an ingrained habit that we didn't even
realize we were doing it. When you add to that all of the conflicting rules
and standards of behavior society tries to impose on us, no wonder people
get confused.

As a result, by the time we reach adulthood, we have no idea who we really

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are, what we really think, feel, believe and want to do. So, it's not surprising
that so many of us live lives of "quiet desperation".

What Can We Do About It?

First, we can stop lying to ourselves. That seems pretty obvious, simple and
straight forward. But that isn’t going to be easy because we’ve never really
been honest with anyone, especially ourselves.

So, what can we do about it? The Living Without Lies Program is a step by
step method designed to help strip away all of the lies you tell yourself until
you discover the "real you".

Once you know what you really believe and really want to do with your life,
you can decide how much of your true self you want to share with others and
what changes are necessary for you to make in the way you do things for
you to reach your full potential and live a life filled with contentment and

As I said in the beginning of this introduction, except in very rare cases,
there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. If you are not living a life that
gives you happiness and contentment, then you have made some bad

Everyone human being has the right to be wrong…you heard correctly…I
said the right to be wrong…the right to make mistakes. In other words, you
are not a failure or bad person simply because you are a human being and
make mistakes. It’s what you do about the mistakes you make that matters.

You also have the right to choose what kind of person you want to be no
matter what you’ve been in the past. Just because you are something today,
that doesn’t mean you still have to be that way tomorrow…next month or
next year.

You and you alone have the power to become the kind of person you want to
be. Accomplishing that goal starts with being honest with yourself.

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Part 2 - The Seven Basic Rules of Living
Without Lies
These rules are the seven most important things that I discovered were
absolutely essential truths that went against everything I’d been taught to
believe that are needed to begin the journey to becoming the person you
want to be.

Rule 1 - There is no such thing as a free lunch because
everything has a price.
When my children were little, I was a single parent attending college and
working several part-time jobs. I didn’t have any money to pay for
babysitters and my family lived 400 miles away.

I met this very nice lady in her forties who was new to the area and offered
to watch my kids anytime I needed to go somewhere. If you have ever had to
take two active pre-schoolers to the doctor’s office when you were the one
who was sick, you know how desperate I could be at times for a babysitter.
So I took her up on her offer. Even though I couldn’t afford it, I offered to
pay her. She wouldn’t accept any money.

So, what was the price of her babysitting services? She and her husband had
moved to our area from Chicago. She didn’t know anybody and was lonely.

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The cost for her free babysitting was for me to sit down in her kitchen for an
hour or so once each week, drinking coffee and listening to her talk about all
the things that mattered to her. She wanted someone to talk to. Even though
I didn’t always have the time to visit and wasn’t really interested in the
conversation most of the time, I still thought her babysitting was a bargain.

Why? We both got something we wanted at a price we were both willing to

The lesson: Everything has a price. You need to make sure you know what
the actual price for something is and that you’re willing to pay it.

Rule 2 - The major ingredient for success is to truly believe
that whatever you are trying to accomplish is possible.
I know you’re probably thinking, “Duh! That’s
obvious.” Yes, it is obvious but you’d be
surprised how many people work really hard to
do things that they don’t believe are possible…
at least, not possible for them

We all know someone…maybe it’s even you,
that even though they are intelligent and talented,
they fail time after time for no apparent reason.
But there is a very powerful reason.

If you don’t believe you can do something, I
guarantee you won’t be successful.

Why? You will unconsciously cause your self to fail because you don’t
believe that YOU can succeed or you believe that you don’t deserve to
succeed at whatever it is you are trying to do. You will become that old
cliché…A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy.

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The lesson: You MUST believe that you can succeed and that you deserve to
be successful. Otherwise you’re wasting your time.

Rule 3 - You will only be as successful as you really want
to be and believe you deserve to be.
If I really don’t want to do something, I’m not going to be willing to do
whatever it takes to succeed. This too is obvious. What’s not so obvious is
that if I secretly believe I don’t deserve to have good things happen to me, it
will be impossible for me to be successful at anything but failure.

There is another old cliché about “being your own worst enemy.” That one
describes this situation. We all have a deep-seated belief about how
“worthy” we are. Our perceived worthiness determines the level of “good
things” we are comfortable with in our lives. Psychiatrists call this our
comfort zone. As a result, our belief about our worthiness determines to
what extent we will allow ourselves to be successful.

The lesson: You MUST discover what you really believe about yourself and
your worthiness for having good things in your life if you want to remove all
of your self-imposed barriers to creating a successful life.

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Rule 4 - Absolutely no one does anything unless they get
something out of it.
This is probably the hardest truth for most people to accept. It contradicts
everything we are taught. But it’s true. We get something out of everything
we do. That something may be good or bad, it doesn’t matter which one, as
long as it provides something we either want or need.

For example, a child NEEDS their parent’s attention. We all know that if a
child can’t get positive attention from a parent, they will misbehave so they
can get negative attention. While the child might prefer positive attention,
negative attention is better than no attention at all. The worse part is that
over time, the negative attention becomes the norm and, eventually, the child
will stop seeking any other kind of attention from their parents or others.

We are all comfortable with the things we have learned to believe are
“normal”. Normal is what we call our “comfort zone”. To make changes in
life, we MUST be willing to step outside of our comfort zone and do
something different.

The lesson: You MUST discover EXACTLY what you get out of ALL of
your behavior but especially those things that are preventing you from being
successful in life or causing you to consistently make bad choices.

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Rule 5 - Life is not fair. It never has been and never will be.
Again, this should be obvious. But, we all hear people complain everyday
about how unfair things are. If life were fair, we would all be born
stunningly beautiful (or handsome), extremely smart, uniquely talented and
very rich.

Needless to say, that doesn’t happen. Nobody is perfect. We all have flaws
and weaknesses. Each of us also has strengths and abilities. It’s up to us to
make the most of what we have. There is another old cliché that’s
appropriate for this situation. “If life hands you lemons, then make
lemonade.” Personally, I think you should also find someone who has vodka
and someone else who has extra food and have a party.

Unfortunately, many people use the “unfairness” of it all as an excuse to
claim “entitlement”. You know that extreme self-centered point of view
where you don’t have to bother taking other people’s wants and needs into
consideration because you have the RIGHT to get what you want in life
without having to do anything to get it.

These people rarely get what they want and usually spend most of their time
feeling sorry for them self. What a tragedy…such a waste of talent…of
potential good.

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The lesson: Life IS NOT fair. No one is entitled to anything. Everyone has
the ability to create the kind of life they want to live. It’s up to you to do it.
So, stop whining and get busy.

Rule 6 - You are the kind of person you are because you
choose to be that way.
This is a tough one. We don’t want to believe that this is true. Why Not?

If it’s true then we have absolutely no excuses for our “unacceptable”
behavior, our weaknesses or our failures. This truth requires that we accept
total responsibility for our actions.

Unfortunately, our society rarely demands accountability from us. We see
examples of this everyday. Parents blame teachers when their children fail in
school. Criminals blame their victims for their crimes. Adults blame their
childhood for all their current problems.

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Wait a minute! Aren’t there extenuating circumstances in these cases?

Of course there are. But, extenuating circumstances do not make anyone do
anything. They are simply convenient excuses for doing what we either
consciously or unconsciously want to do anyway. Otherwise, every poor
child would grow up to be a criminal, every physically abused child a
murderer, every truly loved child a model citizen, every privileged child a
success, etc. We all know that doesn’t happen. Each individual chooses
which path they will follow.

The lesson: Even when your choices in a given situation are bad, worse and
horrible, you still have A CHOICE. So, unless you are forced (either
physically or under threat of severe bodily harm) to do something, you can
chose NOT to act at all or, at least, to choose the least “bad” course of

Rule 7 - You can’t change other people. You only have the
power to change yourself.
This is probably the most frustrating fact we have to learn. We can try to
influence other people, but we can’t make them change any more than we
can make the baby above take those first steps…the baby has to first want to

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walk and then consciously choose to walk. The only person we can actually
change is ourselves. All you have to do is choose to be different and then
take the necessary steps to accomplish your goal.

We can’t always control what we think or what we feel, but we have
absolute control over our actions. Action requires a conscious decision on
our part to do something. We only do what we choose to do, period. Unless
force is involved, there are no exceptions.

For example, let’s say I’m physically attracted to my best friend’s husband.
Now, according to the scientist’s who study these things, the attraction I’m
feeling is the result of a complex chemical reaction in my body that is
responding to odors created by the man’s body. These chemical reactions are
not something we can turn off and on. Therefore, I can’t control the fact that
I’m feeling sexually attracted to this man.

However, whether or not I CHOOSE TO ACT on that feeling is 100%
within my control. There is absolutely nothing forcing us to act on our
thoughts or feelings. If we do act, it is because we want to either consciously
or unconsciously. There are no exceptions.

The lesson: The only thing in life you have any real control over is you. All
other control over others we seem to have is an illusion created by the other
person choosing to do what you want them to do. You are the only who can
make YOU change.

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Part 3 - Conclusion
You have the ability to be whatever kind of person you want to be. To
accomplish this, you MUST discover the “real” you before you can even
begin to know what kind of life you really want to live.

Contentment and happiness are achieved by living according to your true
beliefs and by doing the things you really want to do. I’m talking about self
fulfillment, not selfishness. You can’t do or have everything but you can
make sure you have and do the things that really matter to you.

To change yourself, you must first choose to be different from what
currently are and then take the necessary steps to effect the change. I won’t
lie to you. Changing yourself will be the most difficult thing you will ever
do. It takes a lot of courage to discover who you really are because you
might not like what you discover about yourself. I know I certainly didn’t.

Just keep in mind that we can’t change the past. All we can do is learn from
it. But, we CAN CHANGE the future. We change the future by changing

We create the kind of life we want to live by changing ourselves to reflect
who we really are and what we really believe so that we can begin to do the
things we really want to do and thereby achieve contentment and happiness.

Happiness is not overwhelming joy or excitement. It is being at peace with
our self and the people around us. It is being content with what we have and
what we are doing. Contentment doesn’t mean we have everything we want,
it is being grateful for all the good things in our life and accepting that
nothing is perfect…nor does it need to be.

The Living Without Lies Program is step-by-step program designed to help
you discover the “real” you and decide what you really want out of life and
how to take the steps necessary to achieve that life.

The Living Without Lies Self Discovery Workbook is an actual workbook
that will guide through the process of self discovery. Each lesson is designed
to help you uncover who you really are, what you really want out of life,

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how you currently are keeping yourself from getting what you want and
shows you how to create an action plan to get where you want to go.

Lesson 1 helps you discover what you really believe and compare that to
what you actually do in your life to find out how closely you actions reflect
your true beliefs.

Lesson 2 helps you discover what your secret desires are and compare that to
what you are currently doing to see if you are on the right life path for you.

Lesson 3 examines what it is you get out of the things you are currently
doing and whether they are helping or hindering your quest for happiness
and contentment.

Lesson 4 helps you decide what changes you need to make to get on the
correct path for you to achieve what you want in life. It also will help you
decide whether or not you are willing to do what it will take to make the
necessary changes. It will also help you find other options if you decide you
are not willing to do what it takes to make some of the changes.

Lesson 5 helps you create a plan on how you can start living by your true
beliefs and start traveling the path necessary to achieve what it will take for
you to create the life you want so you can achieve happiness and

Lesson 6 helps you set up milestones and a timeline to measure your

Lesson 7 discusses to what extent you should be completely honest with
others by examining the pros and cons and the possible outcomes of total

For more information on how you can get the Living Without Lies Program,
go to http://livingwithoutlies.com.

If you believe that this report can help anyone you know, please feel free to
forward this Report them.

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