April 24, 2009 Hi. My name, well and least the name I‟m using here, is Jody. I was reading the diaries here and thought I‟d like to try something kinky myself. Describing it here appeals to me as well, so I‟ll keep this up to date on what promises to be an interesting birthday present for Harold. The idea that I came up with is simple. A wife/girlfriend remote control. Well, I didn‟t come up with the idea really. I saw a joke e- mail with a picture of one that someone faked in PhotoShop. My idea was to actually try to make one for my husband Harold. He‟s a communications specialist in the National Guard and a Ham Radio buff. That actually makes the idea easier. What I have in mind is one of range, that‟s not too uncomfortable those remote controlled vibrators. and box it up with an appropriate He can tell me what to do by instruction manual. Morse Code, simply by switching I have Photoshop and a good color it on and off. My Morse is really printer to make the box. I can even rusty. It‟s been a few years since I put my self on the package artwork helped him learn it, but it should to make it more personal. He be easy to pick it up again. All I should love this! have to do is find one with decent April 28, 2009 The instruction manual took some thought. I wanted it to seem like a real product, yet still be on the kinky side. Quick Start Guide for the Mark IV Wife/girlfriend remote control unit. 1. Install the “B” unit in the wife/girlfriend. Anal installation will work, but vaginal installation is preferred. 2. Press and hold the button on the “A” unit for 10 seconds to enter programming mode. The wife/girlfriend should get quiet and stare off into the distance. Warning!: Do not enter programming mode while the wife/girlfriend is operating heavy machinery! 3. Enter instructions in Morse code. Dots should be 1 second in duration. Dashes should be 2.5 seconds minimum in duration with a least a full second between. 4. Press and hold for 10 seconds to exit programming mode. 5. Press and hold for 20 seconds to execute program. Note that programs that substantially exceed operating limits will simply be ignored. This is a failsafe to prevent problems with the wife/girlfriend in the future. Warning! Anal installation of the “B” unit will override the failsafe and can result in serious bitchiness later if operating limits are exceeded! 6. If the program is not self-terminating, press and hold for 20 seconds to terminate program. A self-terminating program ends when the programmed task is completed. 7. Pressing and holding the button for another 20 seconds will execute the same program again. 8. Once the “B” unit is installed, it will continue to function till the batteries go dead or the unit is removed. I included the “out” in number 5 because I‟m a bit of a control freak and I want an out if he wants something weird. All I have to do now if find an appropriate vibrator. May 1, 2009 The vibrators all seem to have too many features. All I need is a simple on off control. Push- on and release-off would be perfect. Even the simplest ones have multi-mode capability. That would be great for screwing around with distracting me when I try to order at a restaurant or buzzing me in church, but it‟s useless for simple communication. I‟m going to e-mail some of the on-line stores. Somebody has to know which ones will work best. May 24, 2009 No luck so far. Several of the places have test reports and say that they test every product. Still, they don‟t have much info to share. I get the impression that there are no female product testers at any of the companies and it‟s all run by guys that stock what they think is kinky. Not one of the places had any helpful advice or could tell me anything detailed about the operation of the remote vibrators that they sell. It looks like this is going to be more complicated that I thought. June 1, 2009 Still no progress. I‟ll have to come up with something else for Harold‟s birthday. June 18, 2009 No luck with the remote control. I decided to let Harold decide where we‟ll go, what we‟ll do and what I‟ll wear. He‟s always trying to tell me what I should wear when we go out, so this time I‟ll let him. June 19, 2009 When Harold got home from work, I told him I was going to take a shower while he picked out my clothes. He gave me a quizzical look and I told him to just pick out what he wants me to wear and put it on the bed. I had my doubts, but sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind. It could have been worse. He picked out a yellow cotton dress with a black cloth belt and my highest black pumps. I noticed that he didn‟t select any underwear and I mentioned it. He said that a bra or even pantyhose would show lines through the thin t-shirt like material. He was right, but my nipples will show through if I got even a slight chill. With no stockings my feet didn‟t slide forward as much in the pumps. Not having sore feet is always a good thing. Not having underwear or a bra was distracting and somewhat obvious when I got that inevitable chill. Still, it was not all that bad. Harold took me out for dinner and a movie. It was far from a gourmet meal and the remake of Pelham 123 was not my cup of tea. On the other hand, Harold has done worse and it was HIS birthday. Going back to one of our old car sex spots was hardly romantic, though it probably was romantic in his mind. Getting chased out of there by the cops was embarrassing, but luckily, dresses are the best for car sex. Overall, it was a fun evening and I enjoyed the extra attention I got from Harold. I think the remote control idea will be a real hoot, if I can ever get the details worked out. July 27 I found it! It took some time, but I finally found a simple basic remote vibrator with just a simple on/off switch. I ordered it and will let you know how well it works. July 29 The user review that was on the order page is right. This thing is LOUD! I can hear it clearly when it‟s deep inside. At least it‟s not an easily identifiable sound. It sounds like a cell phone on vibrate, but somewhat louder. The other user review cautioned against anal use as it can slip in too deep to easily retrieve. I hadn‟t though about that. It‟s an easy fix. I just changed the anal part of the instructions. It also has a slide switch so I adjusted the instructions for that as well. I also made some adjustments in the timing because the motor in the vibrator takes more time to spin up and down than I had expected. . Quick Start Guide for the Mark IV Wife/girlfriend remote control unit. 1. Install the “B” unit in the wife/girlfriend. Do not attempt use this remote control device anally. Vaginal installation is mandatory for proper operation. 2. Turn on the remote for 20 seconds off for 5 seconds and on again for 20 seconds to enter programming mode. The wife/girlfriend should get quiet and stare off into the distance. Warning!: Do not enter programming mode while the wife/girlfriend is operating heavy machinery! 3. Using the on/off switch, enter instructions in Morse code. Dots should be 1 second in duration. Dashes should be 3 seconds minimum in duration with a least a full 2 seconds between and 5 seconds between words. 4. Turn on for 20 seconds off for 5 seconds and on again for 20 to exit programming mode. 5. Turn on for 10 seconds to execute program. Note that programs that substantially exceed operating limits will simply be ignored. This is a failsafe to prevent problems with the wife/girlfriend in the future. Attempting to override the failsafe and can result in serious bitchiness later if operating limits are exceeded! 6. If the program is not self-terminating, turn on for 10 seconds to terminate program. A self-terminating program ends when the programmed task is completed. 7. Turning the remote on for another 10 seconds will execute the same program again. 8. Once the “B” unit is installed, it will continue to function till the batteries go dead or the unit is removed. I used Photoshop to make up a new cardboard insert for the package with my instructions on it and sealed it back up. It looks pretty professional, like it came with those instructions. Now all I have to do is keep practicing my Morse and wait till the right occasion. Our anniversary is coming up. That should do. I still need time to brush up on my Morse. Sept 12 We have an anniversary that‟s hard to forget Sept 11. Harold loved his present. His first instructions were to shower and shave my pubes and ass crack. That‟s just how he put it. It‟s not like there is much hair in there. But I guess it‟s noticeable when we 69. When I got out of the bathroom, there were clothes laid out on the bed. Blouse, bra, camisole, half-slip, skirt, thong style panties, garter belt, stockings, snugly tailored jacket and some “nosebleed” heels that Harold bought for me a few years back. I was surprised that he wanted me to wear that much. I wasn‟t surprised at his choice of shoes though. About 3 seconds after I got out of the bathroom I got my first “programming.” “Get Dressed. Panties last” then I got the “Execute” command. Once I was dressed, I got the next program. “Remove one item. Shoes last.” That was not entirely unexpected. As we were about to head out the door to go to dinner, I got the “Execute” command. I decided to have some fun with Harold and took off the bra. It was strapless, so it was an easy matter to unhook it and slip it off. I‟m sure Harold expected me to take off the thong first. I don‟t find thongs comfortable and rarely wear one. I acted like taking off my bra was just like putting on a jacket if it were cold out. As we walked into the restaurant, I got the “execute” command. I excused myself and went to the ladies room where I put my camisole in my handbag. I figured it was the best choice as Harold could see it was gone by the lack of strap lines. I should have chosen the thong. It was chilly. After we ordered, I got the “Execute” command again. Without comment, I went to the ladies room and took off my right stocking. From his expression, It was obvious that one black stocking and one bare leg was not what he had in mind. I got another “Execute” command before I was even back in my seat. I turned around and went right back. I took off the garter belt and went back out. I had left one of the straps hanging out of my bag so Harold could see it. Harold didn‟t send another “Execute” so I just acted if it were perfectly normal to have one bare leg and one black stocking. I got a few strange looks from other diners, but ignored them. While waiting for desert, Harold sent another “Execute” command. My left side was towards the solid side of the booth, so I nonchalantly undid the buckle on the ankle strap, slipped my foot out of the shoe, slipped off the remaining stocking and replaced the shoe without a break in the conversation or anybody noticing. I think Harold wanted me out of my thong first and I still had them on. He didn‟t seem to object to my choice of what to remove first. He could have altered my “Programming” but he didn‟t. I expected another “Execute” command before we left and wasn‟t disappointed. Harold slipped his hand in his pocket while waiting for the check and sent the command. I went to the ladies room to remove the half slip, but decided to get daring and removed my blouse. My bag was getting full. The jacket covered me nicely albeit with a very deep V-neckline. I was having more fun with the remote control than Harold was. Harold definitely looked surprised. That was not my usual style. For a moment I though I should have just removed the thong. They were on top of the garter belt, ready for easy removal and most likely what Harold expected. Our next stop was a local club that always has a good band. On the way I got another “Execute” command. I slipped off the half. Harold smiled in a way that told me that he knew that I knew that he wanted me out of my thong and that I was keeping them on because of that. We danced and had a few drinks. Harold had only one beer before switching to non-alcoholic. I had several more than I should. I was having way too much fun teasing Harold and wanted to keep my nerve up as my garment count went down. We were taking a break between dances when I got another “Execute” command. I headed for the ladies room to take off the thong when I hit me. I went right past the ladies room and out the door. I used the keypad on the door to unlock the car and tossed my skirt on the back seat. I went back in, past the bouncer who gave me a big smile. The jacket was long enough to get by as a micro-mini length dress and the thong kept me covered when the front of the jacket below the bottom button showed a bit more than usual. I was definitely well past being dressed sexy and well into the slutty category. Harold definitely was surprised by my choice of attire. We did some dirty dancing and I‟m not sure which of us was hornier at that point. I think Harold wanted to see just how far I would take it and sent another “Execute” command. I nonchalantly started playing with the top button on the jacket as if I was going to strip down to the thong right there on the dance floor. He sent another ten second signal which meant “Terminate.” I didn‟t respond right away and his hand went back into his pocket. I stopped playing with the button. I got an “Enter Programming Mode” followed by a clear “Remove thong” then “Exit Programming Mode.” Harold was getting tired of my little game. He smiled and sent “Execute.” I looked around. We were in a dark corner and nobody appeared to be looking our way, so I slipped the thong off right there. I immediately got another “Enter Programming Mode” followed by “Hands Free Blow job – Swallow” then “Exit Programming Mode.” Harold had found my limit. He was not going to get a BJ right there in the club. No way in hell. We danced some more with me being very self conscious of how I moved. I probably flashed a few times, but like most clubs of that sort, the lighting wasn‟t conducive to anyone getting a good look. I was still waiting to ignore the „BJ” programming when Harold suggested we leave. I got the “Execute” command just as we got to the car. A BJ in the car is within reason and I did a good job of it. I wonder if anyone walked by and saw my bare ass sticking up. At a red light on the way home I got “Enter Programming Mode.” At the next red light I got “Remove Jacket.” At the next I got “Exit Programming Mode.” About fifteen minutes from home Harold sent “Execute.” I slowly unbuttoned and tossed it on the back seat. It was 3 in the morning, but I still grabbed the jacket off the backseat for the walk from the car to our apartment. I half expected to get another “Execute” as I buttoned up but he was a gentleman and let me stay covered till we were inside. I would have ignored it and I think he knew it. Needless to say, sex was great last night and I plan to “Go on remote” as soon as I can work up the nerve.