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Sigma Tau AEPi Fall 2008 Newsletter

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                            Sigma Tau AEPi
                               Fall 2008
                               Newsletter
    Dear Brother,

    Over the past year Sigma Tau AEPi has been busy as ever. We have put together a short newsletter
    to get you caught up, hoping to both remind you of the good old days when you were an active
    brother as well as give you a way to stay involved with Sigma Tau AEPi from however many miles
    away from Stanford you may be today.

    On the following pages you’ll find a chapter roster, short biographies of some of the brothers, and
    descriptions and pictures of a few events from the past year.

    Fraternally,

    David Germain
    Sigma Tau AEPi Co-Alumni Chair 2008-2009

                        Brother                 Hometown                       Year
                      Daniel Aisen              San Diego, CA                  2009
                       Gaby Kohan            North Hollywood, CA               2009
                     Tyler Thompson           New Rochelle, NY                 2009
                      Max Zamkow                 London, UK                    2009
                     David Germain              Potomac, MD                    2009
                      Ryan Delaney              San Diego, CA                  2009
                       Solly Mirell            Los Angeles, CA                 2010
                     Ian Bardenstein            Cleveland, OH                  2010
                        Phil Mayer                Tucson, AZ                   2010
                      Robert Rome                 Burke, VA                    2010
                      Dean Schaffer            Los Angeles, CA                 2010
                     Yishai Kabaker            Los Angeles, CA                 2010
                         Jon Canel             Highland Park, IL               2010
                     Sean Daneshgar            Los Angeles, CA                 2010
                     Daniel Schwarz            Sacramento, CA                  2011
                    Wyndam Makowsky           New York City, NY                2011
                     Valen Bolotnyy           San Francisco, CA                2011
                      David Sabeti                Dallas, TX                   2011
                       Justin Hefter           Highland Park, IL               2011
                        Jon Gelbart              Phoenix, AZ                   2011
                      Jordan Potter               Dallas, TX                   2011
                      John Watson                  Paris, FR                   2011
                     Adam Creasman              Los Gatos, CA                  2011
                         Ilan Kaye               Denver, CO                    2011
                      Joe Gettinger            Madisonville, TN                2011
                          Executive Board
    Position                                                   Name
 Brother Master                                             Gaby Kohan
Lieutenant Master                                          Daniel Aisen
   Exchequer                                              Ian Bardenstein
 Scribe (acting)                                            Solly Mirell
Brother-At-Large                                            Solly Mirell
 Co-Rush Chair                                              Justin Hefter
 Co-Rush Chair                                             John Watson

              Bios For Brothers Not Too Cool For Words
    Brother                                                 Biography
                                    I am an Economics and International Relations major and a
                                   member of the Tau Class. Currently the Brother Master, Chair
                                   of the Executive Board and member of the Rush Committee, I
                                   oversee all operations at Sigma Tau and work with the Chairs
                                    to strengthen the brotherhood and get AEPi’s name out. My
                                    hobbies include playing basketball, making bank at Casinos,
                                     and flirting with Jewish freshmen dudes. My favorite AEPi
                                    memory was throwing it down in Las Vegas with my pledge
                                      class after junior year and watching one of the brothers be
                                          crucified at the hands of pledges during Shanghai.

                                        Feel free to contact me for any AEPi matters at all.
                                                       gkohan@stanford.edu
  Gaby Kohan                                               818-216-6922




                                         Dan Aisen is a senior majoring in Mathematical and
                                   Computational Science. He is currently the Lt. Master. Outside
                                    of school, he plays fullback for the Stanford men's rugby club
                                      and is on the board of Stanford Finance. Next year he will
                                   begin work in New York City as a Risk Trading Analyst for the
                                                        Royal Bank of Canada.



  Daniel Aisen


                                   Ian is Exchequer and Brotherhood Chair, and a member of the
                                    formidable Upsilon class. He is studying Human Biology and
                                     Neuroscience, and is NOT pre-med. Ian also writes satirical
                                     news articles for the Flipside and keeps the Funk alive as a
                                   saxophonist for TGIFunk, a glorious, quasi-alcoholic 12-piece
                                     party band. In his spare time, Ian enjoys not being pre-med,
                                   sailing, canoe tripping, frisbee, concerts, etc. His goal for 2009
                                                             is to see Phish.
 Ian Bardenstein
                I am a junior majoring in Communication and minoring in Film
                  & Media Studies. Within the Sigma Tau chapter, I have been
                Rush Chair and am current Brother-At-Large as well as Scribe,
                      giving me twice as much power as anybody else in the
                  fraternity. Outside of the fraternity, I enjoy watching movies,
                   avoiding schoolwork and chatting with freshmen girls at the
                   gym. My favorite AEPi memory is kidnapping pledges and
                   duct-taping them to a statue of a horse in the early morning
 Solly Mirell                                  hours.


                  I am David Germain, a senior Biology major and member of
                the Tau class. I had the amazing honor of serving as Sigma Tau
                AEPi's Brother Master in the Spring of 2008, when we ushered
                in the incredible Phi class, went to Rosarito, Mexico, for spring
                 break, worked with AEPhi to run a campus-wide bone marrow
                 donor drive, as well as helped with grand opening of the Koret
                Pavilion, the brand new second Hillel building. In my free time
                    I try to cure cancer, worship Lil Wayne, and play golf. My
                   fondest AEPi memory is rush retreat in Santa Cruz this past
                 spring, when every brother could escape the stress of Stanford
                and chill together, as well as when we all got to really bond for
                   the first time with the guys that would soon become the Phi
                                               class.
David Germain

                 Dean Schaffer (pledge “Rosa Graves”) is an American Studies
                    major, a Classics minor, and a member of the prestigious
                    Upsilon Class. (Upsilon is, of course, the forgotten bastard
                child of the Greek alphabet.) During his sophomore year, Dean
                  served as AEPi Rush Co-Chair---making calls, taking names,
                   and generally man-flirting enough to recruit a strong pledge
                     class for posterity. When he’s not drinking, partying, or
                   seducing beautiful women, he's usually bragging about how
                cool he is using gross exaggerations. His favorite AEPi memory
                 would most definitely be the Sorority Serenades, when he and
                his fellow pledges performed three songs to Stanford's beautiful
                 co-eds: "Caress Me Down" by Sublime, "Gay Bar" by Electric
                  Six, and "Wannabe" by Spice Girls, a breathtaking display of
                 unprecedented virtuosity which brought at least one sorority to
Dean Schaffer                      its feet for a standing ovation.


                   My name is Robert Rome and I'm a member of the Upsilon
                class, majoring in Comparative Literature and probably double-
                   minoring in Creative Writing and Computer Science. I am
                  currently the chair of the Community Service committee and
                 have previously served on the executive board. I sing with the
                          community service group Side by Side, act in
                   the occasional show or class, tutor elementary and middle-
                schoolers, watch Scrubs, House, The Office, and Lost regularly,
                 and used to breakdance in high school (though not particularly
                   well). One of my favorite AEPi memories was the road trip
                             down to UCSB for Halloween this year.
Robert Rome
                 Hey I'm Yishai Kabaker and I'm a history major of the Upsilon
                       Class. Haven't been on e-board but have supported the
                   fraternity in various ways throughout the years. Not yet on a
                 committee, or at least I don’t know about it, but will probably
                    do something Jewish or alumni related; we'll see. A driving
                  interest of mine is current events and historical context. I'm a
                 senior staff writer for the Stanford Review with mostly world
                     related articles and a research assistant for Senior Hoover
                 Fellow Victor Davis Hanson. All in all a great way to immerse
                 myself in most things history. Outside of being a history nerd
                  I'm pretty active in the Jewish and LGBT communities, often
                   mixing Manishevitz with some colorful fruit juice to make a
                    wonderful girly/syrup drink. In terms of AEPi, the greatest
                  aspect that I've taken away from the experience up until now
Yishai Kabaker        are the deep friendships build amongst brothers, and the
                           powerful support group that evolves from that.


                 I am undecided on my major but it is looking like a dual major
                   of both Public Policy and Economics. I was pledge president
                 last year and am now rush chair. During winter quarter I am in
                 Lake Tahoe every weekend partying and racing for the Stanford
                  Ski Team. Ski team and AEPi have provided me with some of
                  the most fun and ridiculous experiences so far, and one of my
                  favorite times was when some brothers and I took Highway 1
                   one along the coast back to Stanford from LA. It was a clear
                      day, the iPod was blasting, and the view was incredible.
                                    Basically, AEPi is awesome.
 Justin Hefter

                    My name is Ilan Kaye, and I am a sophomore majoring in
                  Human Biology. I currently serve on the community service
                   committee of the sigma tau chapter. I am an avid skier, and
                 enjoying teaching classes at a local synagogue religious school.
                 My favorite AEPi memory is enjoying the mayhem and revelry
                   of Santa Barbara with my fellow pledges during our pledge
                                            road trip.
  Ilan Kaye

                 I am a sophomore majoring in Economics and Political Science.
                  As a Phi Class member I serve on the Judaism Committee and
                    co-chair the Scholarship Committee with Daniel Schwarz. I
                         greatly value my brothers' friendship, support, and
                      understanding and it is for those reasons that I joined the
                   fraternity. Having the brothers by my side during the year has
                      led both to a great support system and a lot of fun times.
                    Outside of the fraternity, I am actively involved in research
Valen Bolotnyy           projects, internships, and Stanford in Government.

                 I am a Biology and Political Science major and a member of the
                 Phi Class. I am one of two goys who pledged as a Phi, although
                   unlike John "Eli Rothchild" Watson, I didn't have to invent a
                   Jewish-sounding name to get a bid. I am currently the Social
                 Chair and member of the Rush Committee. My hobbies include
                   devising elaborate pranks, partying with the best fraternity on
                    campus, and learning how to be Jewish from my girlfriend's
                      family. My favorite AEPi memory was chasing a very
                   unclothed, inebriated, and terrified Gaby around Mausoleum
Adam Creasman       during his Shanghai, and having lunch with all the brothers
                                           during pledge.
                   Howdy doodly, name's John Watson and I am a sophomore
                   planning to double major in Environmental Engineering and
                  Art History. Right now, I'm chair of rush committee with Justin
                  Hefter. I enjoy having no Jewish blood in me, worshipping our
                      savior Jesus Christ, and converting the heathens. I love
                  pretending to be Jewish with AEPi and crucifying Matt Golub
                                       with Gaby watching.



  John Watson



                  I am an International Relations major and a member of the Phi
                  Class. Since I am currently studying abroad in Russia, I am not
                     on any committees. Current hobbies include using "Green
                  Card?" as a pickup line and constantly making Soviet jokes. In
                    America, I enjoy swimming, taking advantage of Stanford's
                   ridiculously high minimum wage to pay my tuition bills, and
                   hanging out with my AEPi brothers. I joined AEPi because I
                  wanted a group of friends I would always be able to count on,
                  even after graduation, and I believe I have found it. I consider
                    joining AEPi the best decision of my entire freshman year.

   Jon Gelbart

                  Hey everyone, Bowzah here. I'm a member of the Phi Class and
                        currently undeclared, though leaning toward History,
                  Psychology, or Classics. Currently, I am the Social Chair and a
                    member of the Brotherhood Committee. Outside of AEPi, I
                   cover football, basketball and baseball for the Stanford Daily
                  and KZSU. I am also an editor and columnist for the Daily, and
                   write biweekly opinions pieces for the Stanford Review. I also
                  head up communications and marketing for an internet startup.
                    Predictably, my interests are mainly sports and politics. My
                  most memorable AEPi moment was my class's pledge party last
                  spring--you haven't lived until you lead a room full of people in
                                    a German Jagerbomb chant.
Wyndam Makowsky



                    My name is Daniel Schwarz, and I am a prospective Physics
                   major and member of the Phi Class. I am currently co-chair of
                     the scholarship committee. My hobbies include chess, jazz,
                      taming shrews, poisoning kings, giving loans in Italy, and
                    dreaming during summer. My fondest AEPi memories were
                   from pledge - living it up in Santa Barbara, playing The Game
                  until the break of dawn, and duct taping the rush chair to a wall.

 Daniel Schwarz
Snobby Sunday: We dressed like tools, played croquet in the Cowell Cluster (now the sorority house
courtyard), and drank Mimosas during the late morning one Sunday. It was stellar. Girls were there, too.




Spring Break 2008 in Rosarito, Mexico: Crummy hotel, sketchy people, and tequila getting shoved down
our throats. We also made a sand cock.
SPOON: We made and served breakfast to the homeless with the Asian sorority. Match made in heaven, ya
know?




Hookah in the Sukkah: This past Sukkot, AEPi was excited to continue its tradition of Hookah in the
Sukkah. However, pesky and misguided Hillel-ites condemned the event as a cancer-causing smoke-fest and
tried to cancel the event, opting to replace it with “Smores in the Sukkah.” However, AEPi fought back and
stirred up an outrage in the Jewish community over Hillel's authoritarian rule. Needless to say, democracy
prevailed and the dictators of Hillel had to allow the event to happen. AEPi’s, cults of beautiful women and
several potential rushees blasted some music, munched on some Middle Eastern delicacies, and smoked the
Nagillah all night long in the Sukkah on Hillel's front yard. We left nothing behind for Hillel. Except the
expenses.

Bar Night: In the winter of 2008, AEPi threw down the every-so classy AEPi Bar Night. Brothers
entertained the hundreds upon hundreds of guest who came, and were all great hosts by providing drinks,
music and seduction for as many guests who wanted it. From Long Island Ice Teas to Sex on the Beaches to
Margaritas to straight shots of Grey Goose, we had it all. This is an AEPi tradition that has remained in tact,
and is not about to go away.

Spring Formal: This past spring, we held our annual AEPi formal at the W Hotel in Silicon Valley. The
romantic ambiance, the exquisite four-course meal, and our lovely dates all contributed to the event being a
smashing success. The event also featured a mind-blowing musical performance by our pledges, who would
be initiated two days later. Particularly inspirational was the rendition of “What What (In the Butt)” by our
very own Butters (a.k.a. Daniel Schwarz).
Spring Rush: As AEPi Rush Co-Chairs in 2008, Dean and Solly worked to plan six events: In'N'Out and
Root Beer Games (beer pong with root beer!), Taco Bell and Jousting, Jazz Night, Las Vegas Night
(complete with tables and cocktail waitresses), a Giants game, and rush retreat at a house in Santa Cruz.

As the brothers say every year, Jazz Night is the high point of our rush events—it sets us apart from the other
fraternities. We hire a five- or six-piece jazz band to perform for about two hours and set up tables with
candles and hookah for our guests, in addition to a cheese and crackers spread with virgin mixed
drinks. Brothers arrive in semi-formal attire to prove to those little freshmen just how classy a bunch we are.

Thanks to great events, we attracted about thirteen very serious rushees, of which ten completed the pledge
process (we got one transfer, too)—one of our biggest pledge classes ever. As the lead co-chair of a very
smooth and fruitful rush season, Dean assembled a forty-page rush handbook over the summer to help future
rush chairs continue to attract the large and solid pledge classes, which help AEPi thrive.

Now it’s that awkward time when we reveal the REAL reason that we’re sending you such a fancy
newsletter, color and all.

As you were well aware of when you were an active brother, Sigma Tau AEPi puts on as many stellar
events every year as we possibly can. While the number and quality of these events is in part limited due to
manpower, it is also significantly dictated by our budget.

We hope that this newsletter has rekindled within you all of the amazing memories that Sigma Tau AEPi
helped foster when you were an active brother. If you feel so inclined, please use the included addressed
and stamped envelope to send us a check to keep our events frequent and awesome.

We completely understand if you don’t want your hard-earned money (especially in today’s recession)
going to purchase another keg of Miller High Life or handle of Grey Goose for Bar Night. Thus, if you so
desire, please specify how you’d like us to utilize your donation. If you want it to go to the scholarship
committee to help brothers in need pay for dues or to pay for a Shabbat dinner hosted by Sigma Tau AEPi,
do let us know. Even if you want us to invest your money in a CD or high-yield savings account and spend
it in 10 years when its value has increased by maybe 20-30%, let us know as well. All requests will be
honored sans those involving locking pledges in a room with a goat and…

You get the drift.

As we mentioned, we’ve provided you with a stamped and addressed envelope to make donating to us less
of a burden. Just make the check out to “AEPi.”

Thank you.

Fraternally,

David Germain

PS: If you know the email addresses and/or home addresses of any other brothers, email me at
dgermain@stanford.edu with that information so we can have the most up-to-date records of our many
alumni.

				
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