f Sigma Tau AEPi Fall 2008 Newsletter Dear Brother, Over the past year Sigma Tau AEPi has been busy as ever. We have put together a short newsletter to get you caught up, hoping to both remind you of the good old days when you were an active brother as well as give you a way to stay involved with Sigma Tau AEPi from however many miles away from Stanford you may be today. On the following pages you’ll find a chapter roster, short biographies of some of the brothers, and descriptions and pictures of a few events from the past year. Fraternally, David Germain Sigma Tau AEPi Co-Alumni Chair 2008-2009 Brother Hometown Year Daniel Aisen San Diego, CA 2009 Gaby Kohan North Hollywood, CA 2009 Tyler Thompson New Rochelle, NY 2009 Max Zamkow London, UK 2009 David Germain Potomac, MD 2009 Ryan Delaney San Diego, CA 2009 Solly Mirell Los Angeles, CA 2010 Ian Bardenstein Cleveland, OH 2010 Phil Mayer Tucson, AZ 2010 Robert Rome Burke, VA 2010 Dean Schaffer Los Angeles, CA 2010 Yishai Kabaker Los Angeles, CA 2010 Jon Canel Highland Park, IL 2010 Sean Daneshgar Los Angeles, CA 2010 Daniel Schwarz Sacramento, CA 2011 Wyndam Makowsky New York City, NY 2011 Valen Bolotnyy San Francisco, CA 2011 David Sabeti Dallas, TX 2011 Justin Hefter Highland Park, IL 2011 Jon Gelbart Phoenix, AZ 2011 Jordan Potter Dallas, TX 2011 John Watson Paris, FR 2011 Adam Creasman Los Gatos, CA 2011 Ilan Kaye Denver, CO 2011 Joe Gettinger Madisonville, TN 2011 Executive Board Position Name Brother Master Gaby Kohan Lieutenant Master Daniel Aisen Exchequer Ian Bardenstein Scribe (acting) Solly Mirell Brother-At-Large Solly Mirell Co-Rush Chair Justin Hefter Co-Rush Chair John Watson Bios For Brothers Not Too Cool For Words Brother Biography I am an Economics and International Relations major and a member of the Tau Class. Currently the Brother Master, Chair of the Executive Board and member of the Rush Committee, I oversee all operations at Sigma Tau and work with the Chairs to strengthen the brotherhood and get AEPi’s name out. My hobbies include playing basketball, making bank at Casinos, and flirting with Jewish freshmen dudes. My favorite AEPi memory was throwing it down in Las Vegas with my pledge class after junior year and watching one of the brothers be crucified at the hands of pledges during Shanghai. Feel free to contact me for any AEPi matters at all. firstname.lastname@example.org Gaby Kohan 818-216-6922 Dan Aisen is a senior majoring in Mathematical and Computational Science. He is currently the Lt. Master. Outside of school, he plays fullback for the Stanford men's rugby club and is on the board of Stanford Finance. Next year he will begin work in New York City as a Risk Trading Analyst for the Royal Bank of Canada. Daniel Aisen Ian is Exchequer and Brotherhood Chair, and a member of the formidable Upsilon class. He is studying Human Biology and Neuroscience, and is NOT pre-med. Ian also writes satirical news articles for the Flipside and keeps the Funk alive as a saxophonist for TGIFunk, a glorious, quasi-alcoholic 12-piece party band. In his spare time, Ian enjoys not being pre-med, sailing, canoe tripping, frisbee, concerts, etc. His goal for 2009 is to see Phish. Ian Bardenstein I am a junior majoring in Communication and minoring in Film & Media Studies. Within the Sigma Tau chapter, I have been Rush Chair and am current Brother-At-Large as well as Scribe, giving me twice as much power as anybody else in the fraternity. Outside of the fraternity, I enjoy watching movies, avoiding schoolwork and chatting with freshmen girls at the gym. My favorite AEPi memory is kidnapping pledges and duct-taping them to a statue of a horse in the early morning Solly Mirell hours. I am David Germain, a senior Biology major and member of the Tau class. I had the amazing honor of serving as Sigma Tau AEPi's Brother Master in the Spring of 2008, when we ushered in the incredible Phi class, went to Rosarito, Mexico, for spring break, worked with AEPhi to run a campus-wide bone marrow donor drive, as well as helped with grand opening of the Koret Pavilion, the brand new second Hillel building. In my free time I try to cure cancer, worship Lil Wayne, and play golf. My fondest AEPi memory is rush retreat in Santa Cruz this past spring, when every brother could escape the stress of Stanford and chill together, as well as when we all got to really bond for the first time with the guys that would soon become the Phi class. David Germain Dean Schaffer (pledge “Rosa Graves”) is an American Studies major, a Classics minor, and a member of the prestigious Upsilon Class. (Upsilon is, of course, the forgotten bastard child of the Greek alphabet.) During his sophomore year, Dean served as AEPi Rush Co-Chair---making calls, taking names, and generally man-flirting enough to recruit a strong pledge class for posterity. When he’s not drinking, partying, or seducing beautiful women, he's usually bragging about how cool he is using gross exaggerations. His favorite AEPi memory would most definitely be the Sorority Serenades, when he and his fellow pledges performed three songs to Stanford's beautiful co-eds: "Caress Me Down" by Sublime, "Gay Bar" by Electric Six, and "Wannabe" by Spice Girls, a breathtaking display of unprecedented virtuosity which brought at least one sorority to Dean Schaffer its feet for a standing ovation. My name is Robert Rome and I'm a member of the Upsilon class, majoring in Comparative Literature and probably double- minoring in Creative Writing and Computer Science. I am currently the chair of the Community Service committee and have previously served on the executive board. I sing with the community service group Side by Side, act in the occasional show or class, tutor elementary and middle- schoolers, watch Scrubs, House, The Office, and Lost regularly, and used to breakdance in high school (though not particularly well). One of my favorite AEPi memories was the road trip down to UCSB for Halloween this year. Robert Rome Hey I'm Yishai Kabaker and I'm a history major of the Upsilon Class. Haven't been on e-board but have supported the fraternity in various ways throughout the years. Not yet on a committee, or at least I don’t know about it, but will probably do something Jewish or alumni related; we'll see. A driving interest of mine is current events and historical context. I'm a senior staff writer for the Stanford Review with mostly world related articles and a research assistant for Senior Hoover Fellow Victor Davis Hanson. All in all a great way to immerse myself in most things history. Outside of being a history nerd I'm pretty active in the Jewish and LGBT communities, often mixing Manishevitz with some colorful fruit juice to make a wonderful girly/syrup drink. In terms of AEPi, the greatest aspect that I've taken away from the experience up until now Yishai Kabaker are the deep friendships build amongst brothers, and the powerful support group that evolves from that. I am undecided on my major but it is looking like a dual major of both Public Policy and Economics. I was pledge president last year and am now rush chair. During winter quarter I am in Lake Tahoe every weekend partying and racing for the Stanford Ski Team. Ski team and AEPi have provided me with some of the most fun and ridiculous experiences so far, and one of my favorite times was when some brothers and I took Highway 1 one along the coast back to Stanford from LA. It was a clear day, the iPod was blasting, and the view was incredible. Basically, AEPi is awesome. Justin Hefter My name is Ilan Kaye, and I am a sophomore majoring in Human Biology. I currently serve on the community service committee of the sigma tau chapter. I am an avid skier, and enjoying teaching classes at a local synagogue religious school. My favorite AEPi memory is enjoying the mayhem and revelry of Santa Barbara with my fellow pledges during our pledge road trip. Ilan Kaye I am a sophomore majoring in Economics and Political Science. As a Phi Class member I serve on the Judaism Committee and co-chair the Scholarship Committee with Daniel Schwarz. I greatly value my brothers' friendship, support, and understanding and it is for those reasons that I joined the fraternity. Having the brothers by my side during the year has led both to a great support system and a lot of fun times. Outside of the fraternity, I am actively involved in research Valen Bolotnyy projects, internships, and Stanford in Government. I am a Biology and Political Science major and a member of the Phi Class. I am one of two goys who pledged as a Phi, although unlike John "Eli Rothchild" Watson, I didn't have to invent a Jewish-sounding name to get a bid. I am currently the Social Chair and member of the Rush Committee. My hobbies include devising elaborate pranks, partying with the best fraternity on campus, and learning how to be Jewish from my girlfriend's family. My favorite AEPi memory was chasing a very unclothed, inebriated, and terrified Gaby around Mausoleum Adam Creasman during his Shanghai, and having lunch with all the brothers during pledge. Howdy doodly, name's John Watson and I am a sophomore planning to double major in Environmental Engineering and Art History. Right now, I'm chair of rush committee with Justin Hefter. I enjoy having no Jewish blood in me, worshipping our savior Jesus Christ, and converting the heathens. I love pretending to be Jewish with AEPi and crucifying Matt Golub with Gaby watching. John Watson I am an International Relations major and a member of the Phi Class. Since I am currently studying abroad in Russia, I am not on any committees. Current hobbies include using "Green Card?" as a pickup line and constantly making Soviet jokes. In America, I enjoy swimming, taking advantage of Stanford's ridiculously high minimum wage to pay my tuition bills, and hanging out with my AEPi brothers. I joined AEPi because I wanted a group of friends I would always be able to count on, even after graduation, and I believe I have found it. I consider joining AEPi the best decision of my entire freshman year. Jon Gelbart Hey everyone, Bowzah here. I'm a member of the Phi Class and currently undeclared, though leaning toward History, Psychology, or Classics. Currently, I am the Social Chair and a member of the Brotherhood Committee. Outside of AEPi, I cover football, basketball and baseball for the Stanford Daily and KZSU. I am also an editor and columnist for the Daily, and write biweekly opinions pieces for the Stanford Review. I also head up communications and marketing for an internet startup. Predictably, my interests are mainly sports and politics. My most memorable AEPi moment was my class's pledge party last spring--you haven't lived until you lead a room full of people in a German Jagerbomb chant. Wyndam Makowsky My name is Daniel Schwarz, and I am a prospective Physics major and member of the Phi Class. I am currently co-chair of the scholarship committee. My hobbies include chess, jazz, taming shrews, poisoning kings, giving loans in Italy, and dreaming during summer. My fondest AEPi memories were from pledge - living it up in Santa Barbara, playing The Game until the break of dawn, and duct taping the rush chair to a wall. Daniel Schwarz Snobby Sunday: We dressed like tools, played croquet in the Cowell Cluster (now the sorority house courtyard), and drank Mimosas during the late morning one Sunday. It was stellar. Girls were there, too. Spring Break 2008 in Rosarito, Mexico: Crummy hotel, sketchy people, and tequila getting shoved down our throats. We also made a sand cock. SPOON: We made and served breakfast to the homeless with the Asian sorority. Match made in heaven, ya know? Hookah in the Sukkah: This past Sukkot, AEPi was excited to continue its tradition of Hookah in the Sukkah. However, pesky and misguided Hillel-ites condemned the event as a cancer-causing smoke-fest and tried to cancel the event, opting to replace it with “Smores in the Sukkah.” However, AEPi fought back and stirred up an outrage in the Jewish community over Hillel's authoritarian rule. Needless to say, democracy prevailed and the dictators of Hillel had to allow the event to happen. AEPi’s, cults of beautiful women and several potential rushees blasted some music, munched on some Middle Eastern delicacies, and smoked the Nagillah all night long in the Sukkah on Hillel's front yard. We left nothing behind for Hillel. Except the expenses. Bar Night: In the winter of 2008, AEPi threw down the every-so classy AEPi Bar Night. Brothers entertained the hundreds upon hundreds of guest who came, and were all great hosts by providing drinks, music and seduction for as many guests who wanted it. From Long Island Ice Teas to Sex on the Beaches to Margaritas to straight shots of Grey Goose, we had it all. This is an AEPi tradition that has remained in tact, and is not about to go away. Spring Formal: This past spring, we held our annual AEPi formal at the W Hotel in Silicon Valley. The romantic ambiance, the exquisite four-course meal, and our lovely dates all contributed to the event being a smashing success. The event also featured a mind-blowing musical performance by our pledges, who would be initiated two days later. Particularly inspirational was the rendition of “What What (In the Butt)” by our very own Butters (a.k.a. Daniel Schwarz). Spring Rush: As AEPi Rush Co-Chairs in 2008, Dean and Solly worked to plan six events: In'N'Out and Root Beer Games (beer pong with root beer!), Taco Bell and Jousting, Jazz Night, Las Vegas Night (complete with tables and cocktail waitresses), a Giants game, and rush retreat at a house in Santa Cruz. As the brothers say every year, Jazz Night is the high point of our rush events—it sets us apart from the other fraternities. We hire a five- or six-piece jazz band to perform for about two hours and set up tables with candles and hookah for our guests, in addition to a cheese and crackers spread with virgin mixed drinks. Brothers arrive in semi-formal attire to prove to those little freshmen just how classy a bunch we are. Thanks to great events, we attracted about thirteen very serious rushees, of which ten completed the pledge process (we got one transfer, too)—one of our biggest pledge classes ever. As the lead co-chair of a very smooth and fruitful rush season, Dean assembled a forty-page rush handbook over the summer to help future rush chairs continue to attract the large and solid pledge classes, which help AEPi thrive. Now it’s that awkward time when we reveal the REAL reason that we’re sending you such a fancy newsletter, color and all. As you were well aware of when you were an active brother, Sigma Tau AEPi puts on as many stellar events every year as we possibly can. While the number and quality of these events is in part limited due to manpower, it is also significantly dictated by our budget. We hope that this newsletter has rekindled within you all of the amazing memories that Sigma Tau AEPi helped foster when you were an active brother. If you feel so inclined, please use the included addressed and stamped envelope to send us a check to keep our events frequent and awesome. We completely understand if you don’t want your hard-earned money (especially in today’s recession) going to purchase another keg of Miller High Life or handle of Grey Goose for Bar Night. Thus, if you so desire, please specify how you’d like us to utilize your donation. If you want it to go to the scholarship committee to help brothers in need pay for dues or to pay for a Shabbat dinner hosted by Sigma Tau AEPi, do let us know. Even if you want us to invest your money in a CD or high-yield savings account and spend it in 10 years when its value has increased by maybe 20-30%, let us know as well. All requests will be honored sans those involving locking pledges in a room with a goat and… You get the drift. As we mentioned, we’ve provided you with a stamped and addressed envelope to make donating to us less of a burden. Just make the check out to “AEPi.” Thank you. Fraternally, David Germain PS: If you know the email addresses and/or home addresses of any other brothers, email me at email@example.com with that information so we can have the most up-to-date records of our many alumni.