Hi, I got married to my husband in April 2008. He is from Mumbai and me from Bangalore. He is a far relative of mine and got engaged the day I met him. It was all based on word of mouth from the elders of the house. After engagement in Dec 2007, i came to know that he wasn’t mentally stable and often used to cry and crib for silly matters. IQ was also a huge difference. I wanted to cancel off but couldn’t due to family pressure. He was already rejected by 4 females and got marriage cancelled after engagement with one. I am the 6th female. The only condition I put out across was, time to get mentally compatible and then proceed with physical relation. Being an educated female, how can I sleep with a person whom I hardly know? He accepted to the condition and got married. We had been to honey moon and he literally started crying as I was adamant enough not to get physically involved without knowing him better. I feel that mental compatibility is important and we need to give time for the love and affection to blossom , rather than just act like animals and get into the physical act. He lost the bracelet within 4 days of marriage, presented by my parents. This annoyed me as I knew the effort invested behind the bracelet. I came to understand that he wasn’t matured enough. He wanted all the silver articles and the cash that I received at my marriage. I refused to give away the cash but again due to my parents soft corner for him (he is the only child of his parents and lost father 15yrs back) they told me to take all the silver articles. When I came to Mumbai, I was shocked to see my Mother in-law’s attitude. He blamed me for not getting cot, mixer grinder, vessels, wardrobe, diamond rings etc. She was 74 yrs old and I accepted the fact there was no point arguing with her. I saw My husbands aggressive side. He hit his mother, pushed her and physically hurt her. He could not control his emotions. Though his mom used to talk illogical at times, he used to show his aggressive side. We thought to move to Blr, as we have base here. He sent me twice and each time I got selected in an interview, he called me back. Same thing repeated third time and I refused to accept to return as I came to know that he was not matured enough to take decisions and I preferred to stay back in Blr. Till then, we hadn’t developed mental compatibility and hence no physical compatibility. He used to pounce upon me few time and take out his frustration. Out of force, it just happened twice. I just want to highlight some points: He was ultra unhygienic, hence I never wanted to get physically intimate with him. The problem was told to him many times. He went and complained to my mom that I was not physically satisfying him. He also told her that I never told him that I loved him. How can love come???? I still wonder I hardly used to have 1 meal a day as he used to time and again tell me that he was the only earning member. He has 0 credits in life. He earns 5 L p.a. Has own house. I don’t understand how was my food a burden to him He went and told everyone including my relatives and ppl in apartments that he spent 25k for honey moon and I didn’t let him touch. DID he buy me for 25 k? He time and again tells of committing suicide, a sign of a weak man. He has an attitude of putting his kids to Govt school, as he can save money. When I came up with a decision of going for divorce as it wasn’t working out, he got some yantras made just to attract me with that. I wonder of these work, but all I can understand is that you lose trust on a person. This was done in collaboration with my mother. My mother does not want me to divorce him as family’s reputation is on stake. My parents have stopped interacting with me and in am left alone. Despite asking for divorce, he is not ready to give me. The reason behind this is that he is already rejected by 5 females and I am the 6th one to leave him. Why would females reject when he has all the qualities of a perfect husband- good income, own house, no credits, only child. Ideal situation Right. My marriage was based on just words from my elders and relatives. I am suffering hugely. He is not accepting for mutual divorce. Please advice. I cant bear a man who is emotionally so very weak, miser to the core, a man who thinks of spending money for his food, absolutely unhygienic and IQ is low. I am left with no family, all because of this man. Please advice me.
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