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Ancient Mayan Mummy Proves A Tattoo Is Forever

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					Ancient Mayan Mummy Proves A Tattoo Is Forever

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227

Summary:
Curiously enough, the mummy’s bones revealed what at first appeared to be
dichotomous lifestyles. She was apparently motherly, because bone
evidence revealed that she had given birth to a child, but a variety
hardly motherly clubs were also found buried with her. An archaeologist
explained the seeming duality of tenderness and weaponry by stating, “My
theory is that she went to the grave, regretting the tattoos and asked to
be buried with clubs so she could ward off any evil spirits who might
arrive to apply even more tattoos.”


Keywords:
humor,comedy,satire,political satire,laugh,joke,news,news
laugh,newslaugh,laughs,laughter,spoof,spoofs,skit,skits


Article Body:
Evidence of the extraordinary longevity of tattoos has finally been
discovered, in a mummified Mayan female whose panoramic tattoos have
lasted almost two thousand years.

Tattoo artists were ecstatic at the discovery, immediately citing the
mummy as proof that once you’re lucky enough to have a tattoo, you can
forget about upkeep.

On the other hand, those who have decorated themselves with tattoos but
in later years regretted the colorful self-mutilation, were widely
distressed by the discovery. As one man with a prominent tattoo on the
pierced tip of his nose told us, “I suspect when I’m finally old enough
to feel really stupid about this tattoo it’ll still be here., Now, I know
if I want to get rid of it, I’ll have to fork over the bucks for plastic
surgery.”

Curiously enough, the mummy’s bones revealed what at first appeared to be
dichotomous lifestyles. She was apparently motherly, because bone
evidence revealed that she had given birth to a child, but a variety
hardly motherly clubs were also found buried with her.

An archaeologist explained the seeming duality of tender sentiment and
weaponry by stating, “My theory is that she went to the grave, regretting
the tattoos and asked to be buried with clubs so she could ward off any
evil spirits who might arrive to apply even more tattoos.”

				
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posted:2/27/2010
language:English
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