IS IT ME? A: What do I smell?
by Tony Devaney Morinelli B: I can't look under my arms.
CAST: 2 females A: Is that me?
SETTING: 2 chairs. One woman in a dress. B: Why did I wear this silk dress?
One woman in a suit. ( Costumes may be A: I should have bought new shoes.
B: I feel so stupid.
INTENT: Conversations in which the speaker
is talking to herself. A: Is that my feet?
Working out small movements between two B: (Touches under her arm) Doesn't feel wet.
people. A: Can't be me.
Simple physical comedy. B: Smells like feet.
A: Maybe its her.
(TWO WOMEN WAITING FOR A JOB B: Something smells odd.
INTERVIEW. Each is holding a clip board with A: It's not me.
a job application attached and a pen.)
B: Maybe its her.
A: (She reads) NAME.......... ( and fills in)
A: Could be her.
B: (Reading) DATE OF BIRTH .......
(B drops her pen intentionally and tries to
A: (Glancing sideways at B) I wonder how old lean over and "sniff" A while A tries the
she is? same)
B: Is she what they're looking for? (The next two exchanges are delivered at the
A: I wonder what type she is? same time)
B: I should have worn the suit. _______________
A: Would the dress have been more B: ( awkwardly) Oh! I AM sorry!
feminine? A: Oh! Excuse me!
B: She has presence in that suit. _______________
A: A dress is less threatening. Especially to B: Lovely shoes!
A: Lovely dress you have on.
B: I knew I got here too early.
A: Why are they running late?
B: Oh, I .......... (laughs at the awkwardness of
B: I wonder if they do this on purpose so the situation)
that you see what you're up against.
A: Yes, I ...... (laughs)
A: Well at least I know what the competition
looks like. B: I suppose I dropped my pen.
B: A bit hard looking if you ask me. A: Yes, and so did I.
A: She looks too much like a push-over. B: These things are such a worry aren't
B: Where did I read that they make you wait
on purpose. A: So much pressure.
A: All this waiting. My feet are sweating. B: How long have we been here?
(She pushes one shoe off, notices a smell - A: I don't know. (Looks at her watch) It's
puts her hand lightly to her nose - then been about an hour.
catches herself and tries to get it back B: An hour!
A: They do make you wait.
B: Am I sweating?
B: Well, why should we? B: My best side?
A: Because we want the job. A: I mean you wouldn't want to go in there
and .... well, ... you know,.... offend.
B: But who wants to work for a place that
shows no consideration for their B: Offend?
A: Well, there is a certain, ..... smell.
A: Yes, they could have been more
A: I mean, in all the rush, ... The
B: Yes, indeed.
excitement,..... any one can forget their
A: Especially , well , you know. The way they roll-on.
B: Roll - on?
B: The way they schedule.
A: (Whispers) Deodorant, dear.
A: Two of us at the same time.
B: Oh, oh my! (panic stricken, she feels under
B: What time was your appointment? her arms) IS IT ME? Oh, I knew it was
A: Don't be embarrassed. It can happen.
B: Eleven! I have eleven!
We're only human after all.
A: No consideration.
B: Oh, I'm mortified. It's a good thing I
B: None. didn't go in there.
A: I'd leave if I were you. A: Good thing you caught it in time.
B: You would. B: They haven't seen me yet. I'll go out to
A: Yes, indeed. I'd leave. the pay phone and call in to say I'm sick.
I'm sure they'll re-schedule.
B: Well, I should think you'd want to go right
in there and give them a piece of your A: Of course they will.
mind. B: (Sniffing and touching under her arm as
A: What good would that do? They don't she runs off.) Oh, my goodness!
care. Just leave and let them wonder. A: Well, that was rather easy wasn't it?
B: Why should I leave? Why don't you leave? (Silence. She resumes filling in the form.
A: I don't mind waiting. She hesitates. Sniffs. Takes off her shoe.
Sniffs. Raises her foot to her nose.)
B: Well, neither do I.
A: UUUUGHHHH! IT IS ME!!!! (She runs
A: Are you really just going to sit there?
B: I have time.
A: It doesn't offend you?
B: I'm a patient person. Anyone can make a
A: And you're going to let them walk all over
you, just like that - right from the start?
B: Walk all over me?
A: Walk all over you. No consideration.
B: I can wait.
A: You know my dear, I did notice. Of course,
if you're going to wait, you want to
present your best side.