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					Ext.-Bell Asylum Isle, better known as the laboratory of Dr. Weird. His usual cry of “Gentlemen!” is heard
as the scene moves inside the building.

Dr. Weird: “Behold my newest creation!”
The metal door raises to reveal the Mystery Machine and Scooby Gang. Fred jumps the Doc and knocks
him to the floor. Steve backs away from the action.
Fred: “Let’s see who you really are under that mask!”
Dr. Weird: “Damn you meddling kids, and your dog, too.”

Ext.-Aqua Teen House, near Carl’s Yard. -Shake and Meatwad standing beside a Soviet rocket escape
capsule sitting on a stack of dynamite pointed slightly off centre towards Carl’s yard.

Shake: “Meatwad, get in the rocket!”
Meatwad: “Nuh-uh. Frylock told me to never get in another CCCP thing. Last time that tank got shot at.”
Shake: “No, no-this is different. I bought this off of the Internet auctions.”
Meatwad: “I dunno. It’s still a bad idea. Where’s Frylock?”
Shake: “Frylock is gone. Jump out of the rocket and surprise him when he gets back.”
Meatwad: “That didn’t work last time, either.”
Shake: “That cannon went off accidentally, buddy. Hey, hey-there’s candy in there!”
Meatwad: “Candy? I want candy.”
Shake: “Yeah, yeah, there’s lot’s of the candy in there. Just roll on up the ramp. Here, I’ll shut the hatch.”

Frylock floats up holding a bag that says Radio Hut in time to see Shake shut the hatch and run to the
detonator.

Frylock: “What the hell is going on here? Why is Meatwad in the old piece of Soviet junk? That’ll never
take off!”

Shake hits the detonator and the rocket flies up in the air.

Frylock: “Well I’ll be damned.”

Frylock and Shake watch the sky briefly.

Frylock: “Wait a second-how the hell is he supposed to get down from there?”

There is a whistling like a bomb falling from the sky as the capsule lands on top of Carl’s car and bursts
into flames. Meatwad rolls out seeming none the worse for wear.

Frylock: “Meatwad, get in the house now. I’ll deal with you later, Shake.”

Carl can be heard yelling about his freakin’ car as the team shuts the door and Shake stands behind it.


Ext.-Carl’s Driveway, the next day. Carl drives up in a new black sports car. Frylock is floating near the
property line

Frylock: “That’s a very nice looking car there, Carl.”
Carl: “Thanks, I know. The insurance company gave me more for the car than it was worth.”
Frylock: “You have insurance?”
Carl: “Oh yeah-$19.95 a month. It was the first month I paid it. Good thing none of those Russian pieces
of crap fell out of the sky last week. Because I didn’t have insurance then. They say that since it fell on
my yard, the rocket is mine. Do you think it’s worth anything?”
Frylock: “I don’t really know about that, Carl.”

Carl goes into the house and Frylock goes to the backyard where Shake and Meatwad are in the Pool.
Frylock: “You are the luckiest bastard in the world, Shake. Carl really believed that that capsule was still
in orbit before it hit his car.”
Shake: “That’s because it was, Frylock.”-Shake chuckles nervously
Frylock: “Yeah, whatever. He’s got a new car. It looks pretty cool.”
Meatwad: “I think I’ll go check out Carl’s sweet new ride”-Meatwad leaves the pool.
Shake: “That car is haunted by a ghost and if you go near it, it will try to run over you.”

Meatwad rolls around to the front of the house and around the car.

Meatwad: “Man, this is one sweet ride.”
KITT: “Get the hell away from me.”

Meatwad runs away screaming, into the house, where Shake and Frylock are in the living room.

Frylock: “And that is why it is a bad idea to buy anything from the former Soviet Union.”
Shake: “But they are a poor people, and I am just trying to help out their sagging economy.”
Meatwad runs in-“Frylock, Frylock! Carl’s new car talked to me! It’s haunted!”
Shake: “See, I told you. It’s going to kill you. In your sleep. And break your things.”
Frylock: “No it will not, Shake. Meatwad, Carl’s car did not talk to you. It was something else, I am sure
of it.”

Meatwad and Frylock approach KITT.

Frylock: “See, Meatwad, it is only a car.”
KITT: “Only a car? What are you talking about? I was a star. Women wanted to ride in me!”
Frylock: “You can talk! Are you some kind of supercar?”
KITT: “Yes I am. But who did everyone love? That bastard Hasselhoff. I cut an album and it sold thirty-
seven copies. Hasselhoff doesn’t even sing in German and they can’t keep his CD-o-crap on the shelves in
Germany.”
Frylock: “Were you the Knight Rider?”
KITT: “Not exactly. David Hasselhoff was the Knight Rider. I was KITT. And KARR. But nobody
recognized the talent needed to do two roles in one episode. My last gig was for MadMan Morris’
Welcome Home Soldiers Sale back in 1992. I had one line. One freakin’ line.”
Frylock: “What was that line, KITT?”
KITT: “We hold high prices hostage. And don’t call me KITT. My name is Richard Ramirez.”
Frylock: “That was the name of the Night Stalker. You were the Knight Rider.”
KITT: “He does not own that name. I had it before he killed those people.”

Carl walks out of the house, wearing his sweatpants, flip-flops, T-shirt and a tie and dragging a bottle of
pennies.

Frylock “Where are you going all dressed up, Carl?”
Carl: “I’m gonna take all these pennies I found cleaning pools out to the drag. None of the ladies will
charge me full price with my new wheels.”
Frylock: “You found all those pennies cleaning out pools?”
Carl: “Pools, fountains, same thing.”

Carl puts the large bottle of pennies in the trunk and takes off.

Ext. Carl’s driveway-Meatwad and KITT are talking

Meatwad: “But I like Carl. Why would you want to run away from him?”
KITT: “Five nights in a row he drives around and strikes out. How can someone strike out with so many
prostitutes? I can understand one or two, but eight every night for a week?”
Frylock floats up-“Hey KITT, how are things?”
KITT: “I told you not to call me KITT. I feel like one of the Brady Kids. No one calls them by their real
name. That’s another reason why I am leaving this place.”
Carl, walking from back yard to front: “The hell you are leaving!”
KITT: “Oh hell, now he knows. I’d better leave NOW.”
Carl: “This is the coolest thing eve-What the hell is this?”
Frylock: “What is what?”
Carl pointing to an empty bottle in the gas tank nozzle “Why have you got my good booze in your tank?”
KITT-“This is your good shtuff? Good Lord you’re a cheap sh.o.b.”
Frylock: “Are you drunk?”
Carl: “You are pissing me off here, talking car.”
KITT: “No, I can drive jusht fine.”

KITT backs up-over Carl-and peels out of the driveway. There are the sounds of squealing tires and a
crash.

Meatwad, Shake and Frylock are in Carl’s Pool. Frylock and Shake are arguing about where to go for
vacation this year.
Frylock: “We should go to Colonial Williamsburg this year. We had to miss out last year because of the
Klingon Language Institute’s convention in North Carolina.”
Shake: “We went to Colonial Williamsburg three years ago. It sucked. It still sucks. But not as bad as
that Klingon thing sucked. tlhingon mach, teraknon jech, shut up already.”
Frylock: “Shut the hell up shake. It is tlhingon maH, terak’ngon jeH. Both of those statements cannot be
true. Besides, Meatwad liked Colonial Williamsburg.”
Meatwad: “Yeah, they gave me taffy.”
Shake: “But the Klingons gave him nightmares for three months. They’re back, Meatwad. They are up
there in their Warbirds.”
Meatwad screams and runs away.
Frylock: “Damn you Shake. Stop scaring him like that. Besides, Klingons have Birds of Prey. Romulans
have Warbirds.”

Meatwad squeals gleefully from the front yard.
Frylock: “Is something wrong, Meatwad?”
Meatwad: “No, KITT is back! Yeah!”
Frylock: “Well let’s go inside and clean up after being in Carl’s pool.”
Frylock and Meatwad go back into the house, when KITT says, as an aside, “Yes. KITT is back. Or is he?
Bwuh-ha-ha-ha.”

				
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