Sigma Tau AEPi Fall 2010 Newsletter 2009 Pledge Recap by grv10042



                           Sigma Tau AEPi
                         Fall 2010 Newsletter
                          2009 Pledge Recap
    Dear Brother,

    It is with great excitement and pride that I introduce the Chi Class. At fourteen members strong,
    this class is the largest in Sigma Tau’s recent memory. Rest assured, pledge still includes all your old
    favorites (like 24 and Shanghai), plus some new classics.

    I hope this newsletter finds you well and stirs up some nostalgia for the good ol’ days of pledge,
    when everything was simpler, the drinks were plentiful, and the names were ridiculous.


    Dean Schaffer
    Sigma Tau AEPi Brother Master Emeritus (Spring 2009)
    Stanford ‘10

                             Save the Date! Alumni weekend is October 22-25.
            Sigma Tau will host an alumni reunion on Friday, October 23. (Details to come soon!)

                      Pledge Name                Former Name                      Dorm
                        Pumba                      Ari Atkins                    Branner
                      Abe Lincoln               Benamy Yashar                     Larkin
                       Milkshake                  Chen Lossos                   Rinconada
                   MC Hebrew Hammer             Christian Smith                  Branner
                        Shaggy                    Dakin Sloss                    Granada
                         Smee                     Daniel Smith                     Loro
                       Snowball                  David Kravitz                   Eucalipto
                      Lemmiwinks                   Eric Karpas                  Rinconada
                        Eeyore                   Isaac Bleaman                    Roble
                      Deez…Nuts!                   Jacob Stern                   Branner
                        Chastity               Jeremy Goodman                     Roble
                       Tum Tum                  Jeremy Keeshin                   Gavilan
                   Major Goatscrotum               Ram Sachs                     Branner
                       Pom-Pom                    Zach Galant                    Gavilan
                                Pledge Leadership
                 Position                                  Name
           Pledge Class President                        Milkshake
       Pledge Class Vice President                      Deez…Nuts!
                Exchequer                          MC Hebrew Hammer
                  Scribe                                  Chastity
              Pledge-at-Large                              Pumba

                             Words from the Pledges
  Pledge                                                  Biography

                            I am Milkshake (Chen Lossos), pledge class president. I was born in
                              Israel in 1990 and resided there until 1998, but currently live in
                            Miami. I have been a competitive swimmer since the age of six, and
                             also enjoy reading and listening to music in my spare time. In the
                               future, I hope to become a doctor (probably an oncologist) and
                               conduct translational research for the development of patient-
                                                     tailored treatment.

                             Deez…Nuts! (Jacob Stern) is a good-looking Jewish man from Los
                             Angeles. He is the pledge class vice president and a member of the
                            illustrious Stanford class of 2012, and as of yet has very little idea of
                                  what he will be studying. However, he does enjoy organic
                              chemistry, history, and writing about food. In his free time, Deez
                               enjoys swimming, playing squash, and chasing after non-Jewish
Deez…Nuts!                                                  women.
                    MC Hebrew Hammer (Christian Smith) is a rising sophomore in
                   and is the pledge exchequer. He is from Newark, NJ, and graduated
                   from the Lawrenceville School in New Jersey before venturing out
                        to Stanford. Christian decided to join AEPi because of the
                     camaraderie shown by the brothers from the beginning of rush,
                      and he is excited for the upcoming year. His interests include
                       electronic music, hip-hop, religious studies, and economics.
                     Though undecided, Christian is currently considering majoring
                                in Management Science and Engineering.
MC Hebrew Hammer

                   I go by the name Chastity, and I definitely carry the name well. I
                     am also the pledge scribe. I currently enjoy doing research in a
                   neurology lab with mice, working as a computer consultant at the
                   library, playing various sports, and jamming on the guitar when I
                   have spare time. I would like to major in Human Biology with an
                      emphasis on infectious diseases among minority populations.


                   Pledge Pumba is the pledge-at-large for the Chi class. In fact, he’s
                     so large that he was just wayyyy too cool to write his own bio,
                     consequently thrusting his alumni image into the hands of this
                      devious writer. Pumba enjoys playing guitar, indulging in the
                   hippy lifestyle, and being a vegetarian. He also hates to wear shirts
                    and loves to show off his manly chest(hair). In his spare time, he
                       avoids writing bios about himself for assorted newsletters.

                   Tum Tum (Jeremy Keeshin) is a freshman at Stanford who lives in
                   Gavilan in FloMo. He enjoys doing lots of random and goofy stuff.
                    He does a weekly satirical newspaper called the Stanford Flipside
                   and juggles in the juggling club, Down with Gravity. He has a very
                    large and diverse hat collection (over 250 hats and growing), and
                                    enjoys writing in the third person.
    Tum Tum
                         Hi, my name is Dakin “Shaggy” Sloss. I was born in Vienna,
                    Austria, and I have lived in Saint Louis, Washington, D.C., and the
                        Bay Area, where I currently reside. At Stanford I am studying
                      physics, mathematics, and philosophy. I started a club called the
                    Objectivists of Stanford to study Ayn Rand's philosophy from Atlas
                       Shrugged and The Fountainhead. I also play tennis for the club
                     team. In my spare time I like dressing up in rain boots and suit to
                    attack AEPi brothers with water guns, pasta sauce, eggs, and rotten
     Shaggy                                       hummus.

                        I’m Major Goatscrotum (Ram Sachs), and I’m a pledge from
                     Cupertino, CA. I’m really excited about AEPi this year, since it’s
                    not with every group that you camp out at a random park near the
                    frats at UC Davis. Other than AEPi, I’m also involved with Chardi
                    Jawani, an Indian dance group on campus. Random Fact: My first
                                      tooth fell out when I was eight.

Major Goatscrotum

                     Eric “Lemmiwinks” Karpas hails from the distant galaxy of New
                        Jersey, where the highways aren’t as pretty as they are in
                     California. He loves going to rock concerts, rooting on the New
                       York Jets, meeting new people, and studying environmental
                     economics. He has a strong affinity for raspberries. He once was
                     given a manuscript with the secret to time travel, but lost it in a
                       series of events involving a catapult, a Bunsen burner, and a

                      I am Pom Pom (Zach Galant), and I am from Dallas, Texas. At
                    Stanford I like to write for the Flipside, a satirical newspaper, and
                     participate in the Ski Team, which is awesome because it lets me
                    ski all the time. At home, I run my own business that I started six
                    years ago—a summer camp where I teach kids to create their own
                                                video games.

    Pom Pom
                                            Isaac “Eeyore” Bleaman, or Reb Itsik as the ladies call him, was
                                           born and raised in the Los Angeles area. At Stanford, you might
                                          find him rehearsing with the Stanford Symphony or the Stanford
                                           Klezmer Band, at Green Library with his head buried in Yiddish
                                          novels, at Hillel overseeing “Jewish Life” with the JSA Board, or in
                                             his room sleeping in. His relatives always tell him how smart,
                                         talented, and charming he is, but he never lets any of that get to his
               Eeyore                                                     head.

                                           Daniel “Smee” Smith is from Denver, Colorado, and is a freshman
                                          looking to become an engineer over the next few years at Stanford
                                            – whether this may be electrical, computer, or otherwise, he is
                                               unsure. He plays the guitar and loves his hometown, the
                                          mountains, and anything spontaneous. He is enjoying college, and
                                         is excited for sophomore year – looking forward to no IHUM, and a
                                                                      good time.

                                               Hi. My name is David “Snowball” Kravitz, and I'm from
                                         Sacramento, CA. I have two parents (as most do) and two younger
                                         brothers. You can always find me playing or listening to music. I’m
                                         majoring in computer science, but I try to get some sunlight at least
                                           a few times a week. I’m excited to be a member of AEPi. I look
                                                          forward to the good times ahead!

Mausoleum and Pledge Party: Keeping with traditions of years past, pledge began with blindfolds, car rides,
abuse, and, ultimately, champagne at the Mausoleum. Pledges were, of course, thrilled with their temporary
names (“left nut” and “right nut” being very common), and happy as always to down their obligatory bottle
of bubbles. Afterward, brothers threw a small party at Mars to celebrate the pledges’ induction.
Sorority Serenades: Sometime in the last few years, the age-old a capella pledge tradition was modified to
include an ambassadorial role to Stanford’s sororities—our Romeos-in-training trek to every sorority and
woo them with their extraordinary musical ability during dinner. This year’s set list included the Flight of
the Concord’s “Prettiest Girl in the Room,” the 4 Seasons’ “Can’t Take My Eyes Off You,” and Hanson’s
“MMMBop.” High-def videos of the serenades for Pi Phi and Theta can be viewed on YouTube: (Pi Phi) and (Theta). (We recommend the first video.)
Needless to say, the girls were blown away, unable to prevent themselves from showering free beer and
fellatio on every AEPi pledge.

Philanthropy—SPOON and Challah for Hunger: This year, we made community service a focus of pledge
from the start, hoping to instill in our pledges the value of giving back to the Stanford and Palo Alto
communities. To this end, pledges participated in two charitable events: SPOON and Challah for Hunger.

SPOON (Stanford Project on Hunger) is a program which feeds the homeless and hungry in Palo Alto.
Pledges gathered at ZAP on a Monday night to prepare fruit, eggs, hash browns, juice, pancakes and more for
the following morning, when pledges finished up the cooking and served the prepared food at a distribution
center in Palo Alto.

Challah for Hunger is a nationwide program which recently spread to Stanford, established by several good
friends of Sigma Tau. Volunteers bake fresh challah, sell it the next day in White Plaza, and send the
proceeds to charity. Pledges and brothers met at Synergy to bake challah with AEPhi, and we sent the
proceeds (about $300) to a variety of charities, including Chai Lifeline. Chai Lifeline is one of AEPi National’s
official charities, and it supports families with terminally ill children.
                     SPOON                                                        Challah for Hunger
Sigma Tau is proud of pledges’ efforts to benefit those less fortunate than us.

AEPiety: Charged with the task of throwing AEPi’s big spring party, the pledges brilliantly created the theme
of “AEPiety,” which lends itself to all sorts of clever puns and catchphrases (see flier, at right). The party
featured Jägerbombs (and plenty of Red Bull, thanks to company
sponsorship) and was held at Jerry (Lambda Nu, for you old-timers). Never
at a loss for ladies, Sigma Tau invited the girls of TriDelt to preparty with
brothers and pledges alike before the party opened to the drunken masses.
Aside from the hugely successful preparty, the highlight of the evening
came near the end, when Pledge Master Solly Mirell ’10 elevated AEPi to
superhero status by helping police apprehend a suspect inside Jerry after he
stole an iPod and several hundred dollars in cash from an unlocked room.
Solly cornered the suspect in the bathroom until officers could place him
under arrest. Sure, the dirtbag may have gotten into the building due to our
half-assed security measures, but we caught him in the end!

Initiation: Our six weeks of pledge culminated in initiation morning on Saturday, May 30, at the old Hillel
building. (Two pledges were absent for reasons too complex to explain here, and they will finish in the fall.)
Initiation was followed by the traditional brunch celebration, this year at Stacks in Menlo Park.

Thank you for reading this spring’s newsletter. If you’ve liked the pledges you’ve met (or know a goat they
should meet), visit us online at or drop us a line sometime:

Alpha Epsilon Pi
PO Box 19612
Stanford, CA 94309

The past few years have seen tremendous growth for Sigma Tau, and we hope to continue this trend in the
years to come. One of the best ways for us to plot a successful course through the future is for us to hear
about the amazing successes (and hilarious failures) of the past, so keep in touch!


Dean Schaffer

PS: If you’d like to see the shenanigans we’re up to in full, living color, visit our NEW photo site at (username: “aepi” | password: “pizzle” (without the quotes)). Feel free to upload any old
AEPi photos you have that you’d like preserved for posterity. ESPONDA!

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