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					          Be Books:
“true or false?” and “boys and girls”

     Guidance Notes
   for people working with young
                     Be Books Guidance Notes: Contents
Before reading these Guidance Notes familiarise yourself with the Be Book you
intend using.

In these Guidance Notes you will find:

SECTION 1 - Background Information on the Development of the Be Books

1.1   Background
1.2   Context
1.3   Aim and Objectives
1.4   Key Themes and Associated Issues

SECTION 2 - How to Use the Be Books

2.1   Learning Context
2.2   Creating a Safe Learning Environment
2.3   Suggestions and Examples of Approaches
2.4   Dealing with Challenging Situations
2.5   Evaluation

SECTION 3 – Additional Information and Resources

3.1   Additional Information
3.2   National Telephone Helplines
3.3   National Websites
3.4   Resources
3.5   Policy
3.6   Glossary
3.7   Appendices

      The guidance notes have been written by Gary O’Connor. Gary has been
      working in the field of young people and sexual health in Glasgow since 1993.

  SECTION 1 - Background Information on the Development of the Be Books

1.1       Background

The Be Books (Be Safe, Be Sure, Be All You Can Be) have been produced by NHS
Greater Glasgow and Clyde, NHS Ayrshire and Arran and NHS Lanarkshire, as part
of a three-year sexual health social marketing campaign undertaken since 2003. They
have been developed to communicate key issues around sexual health and
relationships to young people aged 13-15. They have not been designed to meet the
needs of young people with learning difficulties.

The overall aim of the sexual health social marketing campaign is to encourage young
people to delay sexual activity by highlighting some of the factors which influence
early sexual behaviour such as peer pressure, gender roles, lack of assertiveness and
low self esteem.

The design of the Be Books was informed by research with young people on
communication methods, which indicated that this is a sophisticated age group in
terms of media engagement.

There are two books currently available in the series:

             ―boys and girls‖
             ―true or false?‖

Both books have been user tested by eight groups of young people across the Board
areas with overwhelmingly positive feedback received and will be further evaluated
over the winter of 2006. This evaluation will inform the development of an additional
two books. A website is available to provide more detailed
information and support.

1.2       Context

In recent years, issues relating to the sexual health of young people have featured
prominently in health and education policy in Scotland. Research indicates that early
sexual behaviour can put young people at increased risk in their teenage years of poor
sexual health outcomes such as sexually transmitted infections and unintended
pregnancies. In January 2005 the Scottish Executive published ―Respect and
Responsibility: Strategy and Action Plan for Improving Sexual Health‖. As a
consequence, further work has begun to explore the factors leading to these outcomes.

The strategy endorses the World Health Organisation definition of sexual health and
reflects this in taking as its starting point

         the values of respect for self and others, mutuality, trust and love;
         committed and stable relationships, characterised by these values, are the right
          setting for sexual relationships;

          abstinence is a legitimate choice for any person and delayed sexual activity is
           a positive choice for those who are not ready to form mature, stable and loving
          an acceptance of the diversity of beliefs, values and moralities to be found
           across Scotland, the affirmation that every individual is equally valued, and
           that a person's needs should be impartially addressed;
          equity of opportunity and access to lifelong learning, including, but not limited
           to, schools-based education, and service provision which fully recognise and
           address the factors which can undermine such opportunities and access; and
          a real and meaningful commitment to promote and reinforce the rights of
           people to have mutually respectful, happy, healthy and fulfilled sexual
           relationships free from discrimination, abuse, violence or coercion as
           advocated by the World Health Organisation.

The books and website offer two distinct sexual health and relationship education
approaches for young people: (1) an opportunity to work through the Be Books in a
group work or one to one session; (2) access sexual health and relationship
information from the internet anonymously and at their own pace.

1.3        Aim and Objectives

The guidance notes describe a clear, concise and flexible approach on how best to use
the Be Books in diverse situations with regards to sexual health and relationships
issues. They aim to guide and support persons, who are not necessarily trained in
sexual health and are working with young people aged 13 – 15, to feel confident
enough to draw on the Be Books as a resource when working on these issues.

The objectives of the notes are to facilitate the use of the Be Books as a resource to:

          Build confidence and competence for those working with young people on
           relationships and sexual health issues
          Promote positive sexual health and relationships within a one to one or group
           work setting
          Explore gender and peer pressure issues within a wider youth training
          Provide a starting point from which to begin discussion with someone seen as
          Use as a hand out during a discussion with someone who has approached a
           worker for advice on sex and relationships
          Deal with challenging situations

1.4       Key Themes and Associated Issues

There are six key sexual health and relationship themes that are explored within the
Be Books. These are communication, assertiveness, peer pressure, gender
stereotypes, risk behaviours and delay. Associated issues that may arise include: child
protection, access to services, alcohol and drugs, bullying, regret and homophobia.

Communication is an important part of a healthy sexual relationship. By talking we
can get to know the person better, and make informed choices about the sex we want,
and say no when we don‘t want sex. When Jill and Kevin (―true or false?‖) talk about
what they both want and how they feel, they agree that they enjoy the sex they have
and agree to practice safer sex and use a condom. By discussing what we want we
show mutual respect and understanding.

Learning to be more assertive can assist young people to change their behaviour, and
reach a point where they develop greater clarity about the choices available to them
and the confidence to act. Kirsty (―boys and girls‖) has decided to delay having sex
with Tam until she is ready. She is being teased by her friends because she is not
having sex with Tam. Her friends try to convince Kirsty to get drunk and have sex
with older boys, but Kirsty says ―no thanks‖ and goes home. By being assertive and
clearly saying ―no‖ Kirsty didn‘t do things she didn‘t want to do, and did not give into
peer pressure. She made an informed choice and decided to wait until she was ready
to have sex.

Girls and boys can adopt gender stereotypical behaviours: 'good' girls are presented as
submissive, sensitive and domesticated: ‗good‘ boys are supposed to be dominant,
aggressive and independent. The Be Books acknowledge that gender stereotypes
exist e.g. big Al (―true or false?‖) feels that his masculinity is threatened: he is older
than Andrew yet is not having sex. He takes his anger out on Rory by thumping him
and calling him gay. The Be Books also challenge such stereotypical notions e.g.
Katie (―true or false?‖) states to Andrew that she is not ready to have sex, which does
not reflect a stereotypical, submissive response. Gender stereotypes if unchallenged
can lead to prejudice, discrimination, coercion, disempowerment and bullying.

Often, because people are not ready to have sex or are unsure about what they want,
they take alcohol or drugs to make themselves feel more confident. Getting high or
drunk can put young people into situations that make them feel that they can take
more risks or are less aware of risks. For example going to an isolated place, going
with people they don‘t know very well, not using a condom. Shona and Anne Marie
(―girls and boys‖), get drunk to meet and have sex with older boys in the park. They
get so drunk Shona is left on her own crying and Anne Marie is on her own covered in
vomit. Discussing the risk behaviours which can sometimes be associated with sexual
health and relationships allow young people to make informed decisions.

Using the Be Books to discuss such key elements of sexual health and relationships
can help to raise awareness of the possible situations that can arise and allow the
opportunity to consider responses well in advance.

Some of the key themes and associated issues are explored further in section 2.3:
Suggestions and Examples of Approaches.

                       SECTION 2 – How To Use The Be Books

2.1       Learning Contexts

The Be Books have been designed as a flexible learning tool for those with different
skills and learning styles, for use in various settings and with different methodologies.
The books themselves cannot and do not attempt to provide the breadth of sexual
health and relationship issues that young people may present. However, they do
provide a platform from which to begin discussion.

         One to One

When working one to one with a young person who wants advice for themselves or a
friend they are concerned about, the Be Books can be used to effectively engage with
the young person. It is essential at all times to listen to the needs of the young person,
discuss what they want to know and how they would like the information provided.

         Group Work

Using the Be Books in group work provides a valuable tool which maximizes learning
and provides supplementary benefits in differing environments e.g. youth health
services, peer education projects and generic community based youth services.
Participants working in small groups have more opportunities to actively contribute
their ideas and opinions, and hear those of the others. This can result in an
environment more favourable to various learning styles, accommodating the shy as
well as the more extroverted, facilitating the learning process, as well as drawing out a
more diverse range of material for consideration and development of a wider
knowledge base for the participants. As a group, participants are responsible for
problem solving, answering questions, helping others, creating a positive atmosphere.
This includes the facilitator.

         Distress and Crisis Intervention

When and how to intervene in situations that are distressing is something that is
learned by experience e.g. a young person disclosing that they think they might be
pregnant or a young person telling you that they are worried about a friend who they
think is being coerced into having sex. It is essential in such situations that the young
person is treated sensitively and provided with appropriate support and guidance. The
following may assist:

         Do not be afraid of silence. Intervening because you feel uncomfortable with
          silence can often cut someone off who was on the point of saying something
         Ask open ended questions e.g. ―What can I do to help?‖
         Offer something from your own experience e.g ―When I‘m upset, I like to talk
          it through with someone but you don‘t need to if you don‘t want to‖
         Try to pull things together and clarify e.g ―so what you‘re saying is‖

A person‘s perception of a crisis varies from individual to individual. Within the
context of working with the Be Books, if one arises it is likely to be around child

protection issues. Your agency should have a child protection policy available. If a
situation arises where you have been given information that a young person is at or
may be at risk, or you suspect that a young person may be at risk, and you feel that
you have no alternative but to intervene then you should check your agency‘s policy
in order follow the appropriate procedure. It might be useful to familiarise yourself
with this beforehand. Other crisis situations might more appropriately be dealt with
under the Dealing with Challenging Situation guidance, section 2.4.

A sample Child Protection Policy has been included (see Appendix 2) for your

2.2       Creating a Safe Learning Environment

         Working Agreement

Working agreements are essential to create ownership, involvement and a sense of
value whilst ensuring a safe, confidential and comfortable environment when working
with young people on a one to one or group basis. This is particularly important when
discussing sensitive issues such as sexual health and relationships. (See Appendix 1)

         Confidentiality

It is important from the outset that all participants in one to one and group work are
made fully aware of how confidential their information is, why their confidentiality
may be breached (e.g. possible child protection issue) and who would be contacted if
it was felt necessary. Familiarise yourself with your agency‘s confidentiality policy in

         Choosing a Venue

Choosing an appropriate venue for group work or one to one sessions is a key element
in effective facilitation. Develop a check list of what you think is needed to meet the
needs of the young people or person you are working with. Is the venue:

         Accessible to people with disability?
         Is it the right size for your session?
         Do you have room to break down into smaller groups if needed?
         Is it too big for a one to one session?
         Is anyone using space near you for a noisy activity? e.g. dance/music class

Always visit a venue you have not used before to make sure that it meets your needs.
A check list can assist in the preparation of a lesson and it can be added to, based on
your own experiences

         Supporting Participants

Sexual health and relationship education can emotionally impact on those involved.
When beginning a session it is useful to outline:

         the topics that will be covered
         the exercises that will take place
         the methods that will be used e.g. role play, etc
         when supporting materials will be handed out
         where additional supporting information can be found (see section 3 –
          Additional Information and Resources)

It is crucial that young people are asked if they understand and agree with the sessions
as outlined. If they do agree, this method provides an opportunity for the session to
be changed, assisting not only the participants to have a level of ownership in the
process but building trust between the participants and facilitator. It is important that
young people feel comfortable enough to talk and write things down and use familiar
language. Offensive or abusive terms can be managed by using the working

2.3       Suggestions and Examples of Approaches

The following three learning models may assist you when delivering a session using
the Be Books. They are provided as examples and can be developed to meet your
own learning style or the needs of the group or young person you are working with.


Book -             ―true or false?‖
Exercise –         Key Words: condoms, missionary, homophobic
Learning context – Group work

Step 1
Describe ―true or false?‖ to the whole group e.g. what the book is about. Do not
provide the three key words.

Explain that you want them to read through ―true or false?‖ in small groups. Whilst
reading they have to note down what they think the key words are. (It is OK if the key
words noted by the young people differ from the three key words). Break the group
into the smaller groups.

Each small group should then be asked to feedback their views to the larger group to
gauge similarities and differences of opinion.

Step 2
Using all three key words put one of each on three pieces of flipchart paper. Before
handing out flipchart review each word and explain them.

Again, using the Be Books, explain to the whole group that you want them to break
into the same small groups again taking one of the key words and pose some
questions that you have pre-prepared. Reassure the group that there is no right

For example:

Condoms:    Why do Kevin and Jill always use condoms when having sex?
Missionary: Why do you think Andrew told Rory he had sex with Katie in lots of
            sexual positions?
Homophobic: Why does big Al bully Rory and call him gay?

Each small group should be asked to feedback their views to the larger group to gauge
similarities and differences of opinion.

Round up the session by clarifying:

      Why it is important to use condoms
      The importance of trust in a relationship and not to give into peer pressure
      That bullying under any circumstances is not acceptable and that all sexuality
       should be respected


Book -             ―boys and girls‖
Exercise –         Assertiveness/Respect
Learning context – Group work

Describe ―boys and girls‖ to the whole group, e.g. what the book is about.

Scenario 1

Tam and Kirsty are going together. They have kissed and touched each other but they
are both still virgins. When Tam asks Kirsty for a shag, she says no. She wants to
wait until she is ready and for her first time to be special. Tam feels angry and Kirsty
feels sad. Tam says he loves her and that everybody else is shagging but Kirsty
doesn‘t give in. Tam leaves in a huff.

Q. When Kirsty said no, how could Tam have been more supportive of her feelings?
Q. Why do you think Tam felt the need to lose his virginity because everyone else
   said they had lost theirs?
Q. How do you think they could both have avoided feeling sad and angry?

Scenario 2

Tam and Kirsty are going out together but have had a fall out. Tam wanted to have
sex and Kirsty wanted to wait. Kirsty is feeling sad. Her friends Anne Marie and
Shona have been teasing her in school because she hasn‘t shagged Tam yet. On the
way home Anne Marie and Shona ask Kirsty to come for a drink and to have sex with
older boys, Kirsty just says ―no thanks‖. Later Kirsty meets Tam, he tells her that
they should wait till they are ready to have sex. On the way through the park they see
Shona crying and Anne Marie covered in sick.

Q. Why did Kirsty‘s friends tease her because she hadn‘t had sex with Tam?
Q. Why did Shona and Anne Marie want to go and have sex with older boys?
Q. Why do you think Shona and Anne Marie had to get drunk?

Scenario 3

Ricky has told Tam that ―everyone is shagging their birds every night‖. Tam finds
out from Ricky‘s big brother that Ricky is still a virgin. When Tam meets Ricky he
shouts ―Hey Ricky! Is that what you mean by getting your leg over?‖ Ricky goes
bright red with embarrassment. Tam is happy Ricky isn‘t getting any.

Q. Why do you think Ricky felt the need to lie and say he was having sex when he
Q. Why did Tam feel the need to embarrass Ricky when he found out he was a
Q. Why do you think Tam felt ―happy‖ when he found out that Ricky wasn‘t getting

Book -             ―boys and girls‖
Exercise –         Delay
Learning context – One to One


A young woman aged 14, discloses to you that she got so drunk at the weekend that a
guy made her give him a blow job. They didn‘t use a condom and she took his cum in
her mouth. She thinks she might be pregnant and wants to go on the pill. She is


Reassure the young women that she cannot get pregnant from oral sex and that you
will provide her with as much information as you can to allow her to make informed
choices about her contraception options. Emphasise almost anything she tells you is
confidential, but explain what the boundaries of your agency‘s confidentiality policy
are in relation to child protection.

Introduce ―girls and boys‖ and discuss how you feel the session might progress. Work
through the book at a pace that is comfortable for the young women. Some issues that
could be explored include:

      Does she identify with any of the characters? If yes, which one(s)?
      Does she identify with any of the situations? If yes, which one(s)?
      Explore why the characters might have got into those situations.
      Discuss possible ways they could have got themselves out of the situation.
      Reflect what is being discussed back to the young person‘s situation and how
       she might avoid similar situations in future.

         Explain clearly and supportively that if she wants to go on the pill that it
          would be best for her to chat with a nurse, who can go through all of the
          contraception options available to her.
         Provide her with details of the nearest sexual health service that works with
          young people. Stress that it is her decision whether to attend or not.
         Check with the young women if she still feels anxious and ask if there is
          anything else you can do.
         Reiterate the confidential nature of the session
         Let her know that she can chat with you about this again, if she wants to.

2.4       Dealing with Challenging Situations

Even the most interesting, effective and successful learning environments are not
immune from challenging situations. They occur in various forms, but they are

Learning challenges can originate from many sources e.g. a young person disclosing
information about their sexual activity and the resultant concerns that you may have;
participants who cannot or will not engage in the learning; the dominant participant
who overwhelms the group in discussions and activities; the passive participant who
seems disinterested; a clash of personalities; a participant exhibiting anger or
frustration; the display of discriminatory and prejudicial language and values such as
sexism, homophobia or racism. Another type of challenge is maintaining the interest
of a group of learners with different levels of expertise. Should challenging situations
arise, using a focused activity (Appendix 3) can often decrease the tension, provide
time for reflection and allow the group to get to know each other better. Each requires
its own solution and below are some ideas for addressing challenging situations.

Address the behavior, not the person, when handling a challenge from one or
more individual(s).

To avoid personalising the situation, mentally separate individuals from the behaviors
they exhibit. It is the way the ideas are expressed, not the person that disturbs the
session. For example, confront ―asking too many questions not related to sexual
health and relationships‖ by asking that questions be limited to topics directly related
to the session, rather than criticising the person asking them. Any facilitator behavior
that is seen as unkind to an individual participant can negatively affect the whole
learning environment, make all participants uncomfortable and discourage
engagement. Consider the consequences of confronting a behavior publicly rather
than privately. For example, with a young person who has disclosed information
about their sexual activity within a session, a private conversation during the next
break may be most effective.

Using and promoting assertiveness within the learning environment will assist in
dealing with conflict in a respectful and supportive way. It is always useful to build in
an assertiveness exercise to a learning programme (where time permits), as this allows
participants the opportunity to role play or deal with issues of conflict and understand
how such issues can be resolved using particular techniques. (See Appendix 4)

Be flexible in your design to address unexpected questions.

For example, if participants want to address a sexual health or relationship issue not
included in the agenda that is relevant to the topic, be prepared to shift gears and
respond. Rearrange your agenda if the issue needs attention. Build time into the
agenda for unexpected group discussion. Create a symbolic ―parking lot‖ (e.g. a sheet
of newsprint in the corner of the room or an open paper bag on each table) that allows
participants to pose questions that may not be within the scope of the training topic.
Be sure to set aside planned time to address those questions later in the session.

Find ways to re-channel energies of passive and dominant participants.

For example, you may have a member who talks too much about their sexual
experience, thus preventing others from participating in discussions. To limit
domination/intimidation of a small group, implement cooperative learning activities
with rotating roles — e.g: facilitator, recorder, reporter, observer, and timekeeper.
This promotes teamwork and build participant skills in working in groups. Encourage
dominant participants to assume non-speaking roles. In large group settings, ask
members how they want to be acknowledged when speaking in the group, for
instance, you might use a fun object (e.g. stress ball) that identifies the participant
who has ―the floor.‖ It is important to note that a passive participant can also
dominate the learning by becoming a focus, and drain the energy of the group.

Use diverse techniques to engage participants who have different levels of
experience and expertise.

While diversity can be interesting, meeting the needs of all participants can be
difficult. Less experienced individuals need more time to understand training content,
etc. More experienced participants may become bored. Use balanced small groups
that enable participants with specific knowledge to teach others within the group; also
try grouping participants by levels of experience and knowledge and give more
experienced groups appropriately challenging assignments.

Use the working agreement where participants have intra-group conflicts.

Engage participants at the start of the session in brainstorming a list of both
expectations. The list should include:

      what members want to learn from the session (e.g. ―new tutoring activities
       that are fun and creative‖)

      how members plan to interact with each other (e.g. ―raise both hands when
       someone shares information way off the topic‖).

Be sure to agree a working agreement if you expect or are aware of intra-group
conflict and bring a sample of a working agreement (see Appendix 1) with you to the
session. Display the expectations and working agreement; suggest that participants
review the lists periodically; and be prepared to invoke the working agreement. If a
difficult situation arises and you have not agreed upon a working agreement, depart
from the agenda and ask the young people how they would resolve the problem. Use

the situation as a learning opportunity for the young people and a chance to gain some
experience and skills with group dynamics.

Maintain a positive attitude.

Do not fall into a common trap of channeling too much energy into the challenges
posed by only one or two participants. Deal with issues as they arise but, for the sake
of the other session participants, respond appropriately and move on.

Your attitude counts. Remember that all participants, especially those not involved in
the situation, will react not only to the situation itself but also to how you respond.
Stay focused on the topic and expectations established by all of the participants.
Monitor your own style, be attentive to the needs of diverse learners, and keep a
positive attitude.

Follow up with participants after the session.

Once you have handled a difficult learning situation effectively, your involvement
does not stop there. Individual participant behaviors during a session (e.g. disclosure
of sexual activity) are often symptomatic of issues that require appropriate attention
and supervision. They may also reflect personal concerns (e.g. pregnancy, guilt,
regret) that may best be handled individually after the session.

2.5    Evaluation

Evaluating performance can be an effective tool for change, allowing the facilitator to
gain insight into positive outcomes achieved, learning opportunities to be pursued and
confidence enhanced in developing practice and providing further educational

It is important when developing an evaluation tool to:

Be selective: Don't bombard learners with a huge list of questions. Work out what
              you really want to know. Then work out the best way of finding out.
Be realistic: Form-filling is not fun (however much people may have enjoyed your
              session). Keep it concise and clear.
Be creative: Why not create an evaluation activity that is itself engaging and
              enjoyable! Create evaluative processes that will fully engage learners,
              and provide you with the feedback that you want and will be able to
Be honest:    If you want to learn from the process and improve what you do, then
              plan it as an evaluation exercise.
Be balanced: It is helpful to adopt a standardised evaluation process so that you can
              monitor results over time. However, you can combine standardised
              elements that allow you to make comparisons over time, with random
              or changing elements that allow you to get feedback from a new
              perspective on each occasion.
Be holistic: It is not realistic to expect anyone to express their true evaluation of a
              course on a piece of paper. Paper exercises can be very useful but they

               should be seen as part of a much wider evaluation process that includes
               dimensions of learning that are less easy to capture on paper.

A standardised evaluation form (see Appendix 5) has been developed to assist you in
the evaluation process. It can be used as it is or adapted to meet your needs. You can
of course develop your own evaluation methods.

               SECTION 3 – Additional Information and Resources

3.1 Additional Information

For the most up to date information on young people‘s sexual health and relationships
please use the Health Board website links below. Each Health Board has a directory
of sexual health services and information.

Greater Glasgow and Clyde  
Ayrshire and Arran         

3.2 National Telephone Helplines

Sexwise 0800 28 29 30

Sexwise is a helpline that offers free, confidential advice on sex, relationships and
contraception. Anyone under 18 can call. It's open from 7am to midnight, seven days
a week.

fpa Scotland 0141 576 5088

Monday to Thursday 9am - 5pm, Friday 9am - 4.30pm

3.3 National Websites -      Free, confidential sexual health advice for young people -        Information, advice on sexual health for young people -              Information for the public and professionals -        Committed to the inclusion of LGBT young people

3.4 Resources

FPA Scotland –
    Challenging Homophobia – Video and educational training pack.

Sheffield Centre for Sexual Health -
    Boys Own, Supporting Self Esteem and Emotional Resourcefulness –
        Sheffield Centre.
    Go Girls! Supporting Girls‘ Emotional Development and Self Esteem.
    Girl Power (How Far Does It Go?) A Resource and Training Pack on Young
        Women and Self Esteem.
    Sex Talk, a set of 35 booklets and guidance notes.
    Am I Bothered? Raising the issue of homophobia and its impact on young
        people‘s lives.

       Stepping Out, a leaflet for lesbian, gay and bisexual young people about
        ―coming out‖.

3.5 Policy

Scottish Executive -
Respect and Responsibility: Strategy and Action Plan for Improving Sexual Health.

Healthy Respect -
     In Confidence Booklet 1. How Confidentiality Works, A Booklet for Young
       People aged 13 – 15 who want to talk to a Professional About Sexual Health
       and Relationships.
    In Confidence Booklet 2. Health Professionals. Information for health
       professionals who provide services for 13, 14 & 15 year olds about sex,
       relationships or sexual health.
    In Confidence Booklet 4. Education Professionals. Information for education
       professionals (teachers and local authority community education staff), who
       provide education, information or services for 13, 14 and 15 year olds about
       sex, relationships or sexual health.
    In Confidence Booklet 6. Voluntary Sector Youth Workers. Information for
       voluntary sector youth workers who provide education, information or services
       for 13, 14 & 15 year olds about sex, relationships or sexual health.

3.6 Glossary

Abstinence -    Sexual abstinence is the practice of voluntarily refraining from some
                or all aspects of sexual activity. Common reasons to deliberately
                abstain from the physical expression of sexual desire include
                religious or philosophical reasons (e.g. chastity), material reasons
                (to prevent conception or STI transmission), or to conform to legal
Coercion -      Coercion is the practice of compelling a person to involuntarily
                behave in a certain way (whether through action or inaction) by use
                of threats, intimidation or some other form of pressure or force.
Condom -        A condom is usually made of latex, or more recently polyurethane,
                and is used during sexual intercourse. It is put on the male partner's
                penis, for the purpose of preventing pregnancy and sexually
                transmitted diseases (STIs) such as gonorrhea, syphilis and HIV. It
                also has other slang names e.g. johnny, rubber.
Discriminatory -To discriminate socially is to make a distinction between people and
                display negative behaviors on the basis of class or category without
                regard to individual merit. Examples include racial, religious,
                sexual, sexual orientation, disability, ethnic, height-related and age-
                related discrimination.
Homophobia - The word homophobia means fear of, aversion to, or discrimination
                against homosexuality or homosexuals. It can also mean hatred of
                and disparagement of homosexual people, their lifestyles, their
                sexual behaviors, or cultures.

Prejudicial -   Prejudice is, as the name implies, the process of "pre-judging"
                something. It implies coming to a judgment on a subject before
                learning where the burden of evidence actually lies, or forming a
                judgment without direct experience.
Racism -        Racism refers to various belief systems, maintaining that humans
                can be separated into various groups based on physical attributes;
                and that these groupings determine or influence cultural or
                individual achievement or the essential value of human beings. This
                can lead to hostility against individuals based on a perceived or
                ascribed "race".
Sexism -        Sexism is commonly considered to be discrimination and/or hatred
                against people based on their sex rather than their individual merits,
                but can also refer to any and all systemic differentiations based on
                the sex of the individuals.
Stereotypes -   Stereotypes are considered to be a group concept, held by one social
                group about another. They are often used in a negative or prejudicial
                sense and are frequently used to justify certain discriminatory

                 Appendix 1 - Developing a Working Agreement

Learning Outcomes
Enabling young people to be involved in the development of their own working
agreement can be beneficial in two ways:

   Working agreements can set ground rules which make it safe for young people to
    engage with the issues, share their own views and challenge the views of their
    peers and facilitators.
   Enabling young people to be involved in the development of the working
    agreement increases the level of ownership they feel towards it, and helps them to
    share responsibility for maintaining respectful and safe behaviour.

Flipchart/whiteboard & pens

Explain to the young person or group that this session is about creating a safe
environment within the session(s). Introduce the notion of expectations, both of
themselves and of others.

    1) Ask the young person/young people to spend 10 minutes discussing in pairs:
           how they would like to be treated in the session
           how they would like to feel within the session

    2) Ask the young person/group to discuss what they have come up with.

Develop these ideas and discussions into an agreement of how the session will
operate. You may want to try to include:

   Confidentiality: anything said in the session remains there (this may not be
    possible in some cases due to Child Protection issues being raised, ensure the
    young person/group clearly understand this and how Child Protection issues, if
    raised, will be reported).
   The right to pass: everyone has the right to ―pass‖ if they don‘t want to be
    involved in part of the discussion.
   Disclosure: don‘t tell something that might make you feel uncomfortable. If
    discussing a situation don‘t identify the people in that situation.
   Respect: we should respect everyone‘s right to an opinion, which might not be the
    same as ours.

Once an agreement has been developed, write it up on a flipchart or whiteboard. Ask
the young person or group to sign it to demonstrate their understanding and
commitment to the working agreement. It is also important for the facilitator to sign
it. Ensure the agreement is displayed, enabling it to be revisited during future
sessions if required.

                  Appendix 2 - Child Protection Policy - Example

Definition of Risk and Abuse

Children and young people may be in need of protection where their basic needs are
not being met in a manner appropriate to their stage of development, and they will be
at risk from avoidable acts or omission on the part of their parent(s), sibling(s) or
other relative(s), carer i.e. the person(s) while not a parent who has actual custody of a
child, or adult.

To define an act or omission as abusive and/or presenting future risk for the purpose
of registration, a number of elements must be taken into account. These include
demonstrable or predictable harm to the child or young person as a result of action or
inaction by the parent or adult.

Children and young people, their right to care and protection

    1. The thoughts of young people, their views and concerns are of paramount
       importance and we should strive to ensure that young people have as much
       control as possible over situations and decisions that may affect their lives.
    2. The welfare of the young person is paramount.
    3. The views of the young person should be sought.
    4. The young person‘s race, religion, culture, language, gender and sexuality
       should be taken into account.
    5. Partnership between all of those concerned with the young person‘s welfare is
       to be encouraged.
    6. Every young person has the right to be treated as an individual.

Staff conduct in relation to risk/abuse disclosure

What action to be taken when a child or young person discloses that they may be, or
are at risk, that they themselves are a risk to themselves or others or a staff member
suspects risk or immediate harm

   1. Be supportive to the young person.
   2. Listen with care but do not ask unnecessary questions.
   3. Take what the young person is saying seriously, if it is felt that the risk
      disclosed is in contravention of the rights of the child discuss, the nature of
      what could be, in this instance, an external referral to statutory services with
      the young person.
   4. Advise the young person that the information will have to be passed on.
   5. Be specific about who you will pass the information onto; the agency and who
      you may need to speak with.
   6. Inform the young person that their parent or carer may have to be informed.
   7. Write down the nature of your concern and anything the young person may
      have told you. Use as far as possible the words used by the young person.
   8. Remember to sign and date the notes that are taken.

   9. Immediately report the grounds of your concern to the line manager, where
       possible and then onto the Duty Senior Social Worker (Children and
       Families), who will take steps to ensure that the matter is investigated.
   10. Do not delay in reporting your concerns. Where possible, inform/refer on the
       same day as the concern arises by contacting emergency Social Work
   11. The young person does not need to be identified to the line manger, only the
       nature of the risk and the reason for external referral.

External referral to statutory services

    1. Disclosed or suspected risks should be passed directly to the Social Work
       Services, Children and Families team.
    2. Once external referral has taken place you will not have access to additional
       information regarding the young person and will not pursue such information.
    3. Continue to support the young person, if they so wish.

            Appendix 3 - Dealing with Challenging Situations - Activity

“I Like Someone Who...”

Learning Outcomes
To provide participants with an opportunity to become familiar with each other‘s
interests and experiences. Use this activity after a break to energise the group, or early
in a training session to break the ice (or improve participants‘ mood if you are dealing
with a difficult situation). This is a physical activity, be aware of any participant
disability issues.



      Have participants sit down in chairs that form a circle, while you begin the
       activity by standing in the middle.
      As facilitator, begin by introducing an ―I Like Someone Who...‖ statement that
       draws connections among participants — based on preferences, interests, or
       experiences. Some examples include: ―I Like Someone Who…is a night
       person,‖ ―I Like Someone Who…likes sushi‖ or ―I Like Someone Who…has
       seen the film Life is Beautiful.‖
      Direct all participants who can relate to the statement to move from their
       spaces and find new seats somewhere in the circle; those who cannot relate to
       the statement should remain in their places.
      The only rule is that participants cannot take a new position that is directly to
       the left or right of their current seat.
      As participants are scrambling for new seats, you also will search for a seat,
       thus leaving one person without a place.
      This participant then becomes the person in the middle and provides another ―I
       Like Someone Who...‖ statement.

                  Appendix 4 - Assertive Confrontation - Exercise

Learning Outcomes
Assertive confrontation is particularly useful in challenging homophobia, racism,
sexism etc. because it does not lead to an argument and participants do not need to
have lots of facts at their fingertips. It is not about winning, or changing someone
else‘s views; it is about participants changing their behaviour so that they are not
oppressed, angered or bullied by someone else‘s opinions.


Ask the participants to:

     Start with a statement of their own opinions.
      e.g. I feel offended, irritated, angry, put down.

     Describe the behaviour specifically.
      e.g. by that joke, that word, that assumption.

     Field the other person‘s statements and repeat their own.
      e.g. your mate might find that joke funny, but I find it offensive.
      I have a sense of humour and I find that joke offensive.
      I haven‘t got a chip on my shoulder and I find that joke offensive.

     Ask for a specific change.
      e.g. I would prefer you not to use that that word/ crack that joke when I‘m

     Specify the negative consequences if they do not agree to change the
      behaviour. As with constructive criticism participants must set clear limits.

                         Appendix 5 - Be Book Evaluation Form

Please tick the book(s) you read.

Boys and Girls                   True or False                Both books
How much did you enjoy the session?

     enjoyed it loads
                                        it was ok
                                                                    didn‘t enjoy it

How much did you learn that was useful?

   loads
                                        quite a lot
                                                                           not much 
Was there one thing you particularly liked?

Was there anything you didn’t like?

Was there anything else you would have liked to talk about?

Do you have anything else you would like to say?


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