How to Annoy Your Family by country

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									                                         How to Annoy Your Family
                                          Parent Discussion Guide
                                                 Lesson 1
                                               May 18, 2007

                                 Over the next three weeks, we will be
                                 studying how students can have a better
                                 relationship with their family. Here the
                                 messages:

                                     May 18 – Making Radical Choices
                                     May 25 – Being Part of the Solution
                                     June 1 – Healing Your Family’s Pain

                                 It is my hope and prayer that these
                                 lessons help your students have a positive
                                 attitude for your family.


                     Lesson 1 – Making Radical Choices
In this lesson students will discover that God created families, even though
families are not perfect. As a result, we cannot control our families. We can
                  only control ourselves and our attitudes.
                       Key Scripture: Ephesians 4:2-3

Some questions to follow up and reinforce:
  1. What did you learn in Crave today? (Don’t settle for a generic answer,
     but try to dig a little deeper.

  2. I heard that you were talking about families today. Even though our
     family isn’t perfect, what are some things that you like about our
     family?

  3. What are some things that we can do together to make our family
     better? (Even though this opens to door for potentially negative
     comments, try to keep the conversation positive by focusing on what
     you can do in the future.)

  4. Let you student know how much you love and care for them. Then,
     go ahead and pray with your student for God’s grace in you family.
                                   How to Annoy Your Family
                          Bringing a Positive Attitude to You Family Life

Opening video/spend some time with your family/ Drama

Introduction
I no doubt that when some of you saw the title for this sermon series, How to annoy your
parents, you thought, “Kevin, I’ve got that down. I ignore my family all the time. I pick on my
little brother or sister whenever I can. I don’t listen to my parents. I push all the buttons I can to
make my family mad.” In fact, you might have even thought that you didn’t need to come today,
because you’ve already got it down. Trust me that is not what I mean by annoying your parents.

Instead in the next three weeks, I want us to look at the relationships we have developed with our
families and see how can make them better. In other words, it is my hope that as we go through
this series you will start to blow your parents away. In fact, I hope that I get some phone calls
from parents being concerned. I want Josh Buffington’s parents to call me and say, “Kevin, I am
really worried about Josh. Yesterday, I told him to pick up the living room and he did it, and then
he started to do his own laundry. Do you think he’s on drugs?” I want you to annoy your parents
by choosing to have a positive attitude toward your family.

I would image that for some of us family can mean entirely different things. For some it may
bring up images of Christmas morning with everyone together preparing to open presents. For
others, it may bring up hurtful thoughts of your parents going through a divorce. Family may
bring up harsh feelings toward a step parent. Still for others it may bring up images of parents
you never met that may of left you when you were younger.

I have no doubt that in this room family means something different for each person. Because
behind every closed door is a unique set of circumstances and family dynamics that wind up
shaping who we are, oftentimes for the rest of our lives.

No matter what family means to you, I want us to discover how to make our family lives better.

Let’s start this morning with some big picture stuff by looking at some truths about families.

1. God Created Families.

I know this may be hard for you to believe, because some of you may think that your brother or
sister is a product of Satan, but all the way back in the first book of the Bible, Genesis, we
discover God is creating the world and everything in it. He says let there be light and it happens.
Then God forms the earth by creating the sky and molding the land. Then he causes the earth to
produce plants and places the sun and the moon in the sky. Then God creates all the creatures of
the earth, and finally he creates man in his image.

In Genesis 2, it says that for man there was no suitable helper. “21 So the LORD God caused the
man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed
up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of
the man, and he brought her to the man.

23 The man said,
   "This is now bone of my bones
   and flesh of my flesh;
   she shall be called 'woman,'
   for she was taken out of man."

24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will
become one flesh.

In this time of creation, God was laying the foundation for how he wanted the world to operate
for thousands of years, and in his creation he included family.

If I asked you to think of one word to describe your family, what would it be? In my
conversations with students, these are some of the words I hear: pain, distrust, anger, yelling,
hurt, turmoil, ugly, stress, and loneliness. And let me be honest with you, this is not God’s design
for a family. God has a different picture in mind for our families, I think He would use words
like: love, trust, hope, encouragement, conversation, laughter, influence, and safety. Some of you
may think, “Kevin, you are living in a fantasy world.” No, what I’ve done is paint a picture of
what God’s dream is for families.

       In the Bible, God uses a lot of family language to describe our relationship with him. As
       Christians he is described as our father, and we are his children. Maybe you have heard
       some one say brother Buffington, or sister Jones. Hebrews chapter 2 reminds us that
       “Those who are made holy are from the same family.” In other words, Christians are to
       consider themselves part of the same family. And if God were to sum up our relationship
       with him and each other in a few words, I think they would be: love, trust, hope,
       encouragement, conversation, laughter, influence, and safety. Because God’s design for
       families is also his design for our relationship with Him.

Even though God created our families and He designed them for Growth, nourishment, and
health…

2. Families Are Not Perfect.

Let me show you my family (Picture). This is a picture of me when I was little with my two
older brothers and my parents. Even though I love my family, they are definitely not perfect.
        My mom talks too much and can really pry into your business
        My Dad sometimes can have a short fuse.
        My brothers locked me in the deep freeze one time.
        Trust me my family is far from perfect.
In the Bible before the first family, the first children, there was sin. Adam and Eve sinned against
God, and what was the consequence of their sin and disobedience? Adam and Eve had their first
children Cain and able. If you’ve been in church for very long or read those first few pages of the
bible, you’ve read about Cain and Abel. You know that Abel was probably the good kid and
Cain was the bad one. In fact, I can hear Eve saying, “Why aren’t you more like Abel, Cain?”
and “Why can’t you be as productive as him?” To make a long story short, Cain takes his brother
out to a field and kills him. There is the start of humanity right there. The first family out of
control – brother kills brother.

Any of us that have had a brother or a sister have probably thought about that, “How do I kill my
brother/sister? How could I do it and not get caught?” It started at the very beginning.

       The rest of the Bible is full of imperfect families:
              Abraham’s Children Isaac and Ishmael fought over Abrahams blessing.
              David slept with another man’s wife.
              As we learned last week, even Jesus had trouble with his family. His brothers
              didn’t believe he was the messiah, until he had risen fro the dead, and one time
              they came to take hold of him because they thought he was crazy.

Families aren’t perfect, because none of us our perfect. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned
and fallen short of the glory of God.” In other words, we have all messed up; we have all been
disobedient; None of us are perfect. And if families are made up of imperfect people, then
families are not perfect.

Listen to this testimony - Video Testimony

So if God created and designed our families for growth, and they aren’t perfect, then what do we
do? First you have to…..

Realize You Cannot Control Your Family.

This is a big step of maturity for some of you. You may think you can control your mom or your
dad by altering your moods and pushing the right buttons, but the truth is you can’t control
anybody.

       In my ministry, I realized this a long time ago. I can’t do anything to make someone a
       Christian. I can’t force them to be a Christian; I can’t make choose to be baptized. All I
       can do is to tell them the truth, and they have to make that decision. They have to decide
       if they are going to accept who Jesus is or not, and my job is simply to lay out the truth as
       clearly as I can, because I cannot control them.

The truth is you can’t control your parents. In fact, the only thing you can control is yourself.

Realize You Can Only Control Yourself.
The Bible tells us that no matter who they are – Parents, brothers, sisters, friends – we are to
show them love.

“You must love the Lord your God with all your heart and your soul and all your mind and all
your strength. What’s the greatest commandment? Love God. That’s it. The second is equally
important. Love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandment is greater than these.”

When Jesus summarized everything, He said, “What it comes down to is love.” If you want to
have a better relationship with your family, choose to love them.

Ephesians 4:2-3 tells us “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another
in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

Earlier we talked about how there is not one family on this earth that is perfect. Let’s face it. Our
families are just weird. Seriously, does anyone in here have a normal family? But this text tells
us to bear with one another in love. We need to patiently endure their quirks, or even mistakes.

Just like you do with your friends at school or at church. We have to permit and even accept the
things that are weird.

Bearing with one another in love means
       Forgiving your parents when they are wrong
       Listening to your parents when they are talking
       Asking forgiveness when you are wrong (Because you are not perfect either)

Ephesians 4:3 “Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” It
doesn’t matter what type of relationship it is (Marriage, friendships, or even family) if you want
it to be a fulfilled, great, and lasting relationship, you will have to make every effort.

       Students, we need to make our relationships with our family better. And not one of you
       can look me in the eye and say I have made every effort to do that! Why would I say
       that? Because two words in this verse give you problems: Every Effort. Most of us take
       advantage of our families and may only put a minimal effort when we are forced.

       But we are to make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit. That means…
              Choosing to hang out with you family
              Helping with things around the house without being asked
              Not yelling and screaming at your parents or siblings when you’re mad
              Admitting when you are wrong and asking forgiveness

Let’s face it, when it comes to our families, it is easier for us to look at all the things that are
wrong with them. They yell a lot. They get angry easily. They don’t even take the time to get to
know me. But today the question isn’t what they choose to do, it revolves around what you
choose to. Are you willing to make some radical choices for your family? Are you willing to
making ever effort for your family?

								
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