It Takes A
A
Community Community
P
Winter 2006
ll of us at Shelter From The Storm work tirelessly to provide a multiplicity of services to adult and child victims of intimate partner abuse. We are very proud of what we do and the way in which we do it. We are deeply committed to the development of a “zero tolerance” policy for domestic violence throughout the Coachella Valley. However, try as we might, we cannot do this without you; and so we are asking for your help. Here are some suggestions for ways to make a difference now and in the future:
include any questions about abuse. The small step of including this question sends a message to the patient that this is a serious concern of the medical community. Similarly, all medical facilities should have referral information and other printed materials in Edra Blixseth, President plain sight in restrooms and exam rooms for victims. The Shelter will be only too happy to provide these materials. olice and courts have a vital role to play, as they are often first responders. It is important for protective order violations to result in arrest and jail time. All officers should carry printed materials to give to victims. We strongly believe that perpetrators should be unilaterally arrested, jailed, charged and vigorously prosecuted. Plea bargains should be discouraged and maximum sentences should be handed down and served.
P S
arents are every child’s first teachers and the role models children emulate in later life. As such, they can teach children by example to communicate their displeasure with negative circumstances, rather than by acting out their feelings. If parents treat one another with respect even when they have disagreements, their interactions with each other will help their children to develop healthy coping mechanisms. chools also can play a vital role. Teachers can send a strong message by not allowing inappropriate and disrespectful behaviors to go unchecked. They should begin with the youngest children by teaching them that hitting and name-calling are always wrong. Middle and high school years are a critical period in the development of social skills for both boys and girls as they become interested in one another. Teen dating violence has reached epidemic proportions. There are numerous materials available that help teens learn to recognize unacceptable treatment. Additionally, schools can help by providing interactive workshops designed specifically for teens.
C B T F
ourts can help greatly to make sure victims are assisted in staying safe. Protective orders should always ensure the safety of the victim to the fullest possible extent. If the offending parent is allowed visitation with their children, it is imperative that the safety of both the victim and other children in the household be protected during the visitation exchange. For reasons of safety, in many instances the address of the custodial parent should remain confidential. usinesses can help by being sensitive to the needs of employees whom they suspect are being abused. If at all possible, when victims are in need of shelter, employers should provide a leave of absence. Businesses should also make it possible for abused employees to take time off from work to attend counseling or to apply for an order of protection. Additionally, businesses that deal with the public can have emergency information posted in restrooms. he Faith Community can speak loudly and with one voice stating that domestic violence is unacceptable and always wrong. Clergy should encourage and assist victims to seek safety and services. inally, everyone belongs to some group or organization. Let people know that violent homes are having an impact all over the Valley costing many lives and many dollars. By conservative estimates, one in three women will experience abuse from an intimate partner during her lifetime. Therefore, it is likely that most of us will know a victim at some point. Help the abused person understand that no one deserves to live in fear. Be a source of comfort and information. And most of all, let the person know help is just a phone call away. Together, we can make a difference. sSFTS
D
octors and the medical community are often the first to have contact with victims of domestic violence. Although hospitals and certain other providers are mandated reporters of domestic violence such reporting does not always happen. For example, most intake forms in a doctor’s office do not
Denise Robergé, 2005 Goddess Award Recipient
Shelter From The Storm’s Goddess Award annually recognizes women whose generosity of heart, spirit and mind enriches all of our lives. DENISE ROBERGÉ, artist, gallery owner, restaurateur and philanthropist, more than meets that description. On the corner of El Paseo and Portola in Palm Desert, the dynamic Denise Robergé Gallery stands as testimony to her tenacity and brilliance. From Denise’s original 3,000-square foot store to today’s 11,000-square foot Plaza Robergé showplace, this remarkable woman has built her business into one of the premier landmarks in the desert. Denise Robergé has enriched the desert not only with her beautiful gallery and jewelry salon, and the exciting Augusta restaurant, but also with her generous contributions to local charities. The support she has shown Shelter From The Storm over the years, from the purchase of playground equipment to the donation of auction items, has helped hundreds of victims of domestic violence in our valley. Denise has also embraced Animal Samaritans; the House of Hope, a sober living environment sponsored by the Soroptomists Club; and annually underwrites the “Winefest,” an event benefiting the Coachella Valley Rescue Mission. This year the proceeds from the event will fund the Rescue Mission’s expansion. The 2006 Goddess Award Shelter cannot be presented to a more deserving or inspirational honoree. Shelter From The Storm is pleased to salute Denise Robergé, and proud to call her a friend. Congratulations, Denise! sSFTS
Denise Robergé and Mary Heckmann
Kevin McGuire, 2005 Unsung Hero Award
Shelter From The Storm’s Unsung Hero Award is presented annually to an individual who without expectation of public recognition has generously given of his or her time and talent to the women and children we serve. This year we are delighted to bestow the Unsung Hero Award on the indefatigable KEVEN McGUIRE, President, Palm Desert National Bank. A founding member of Shelter From The Storm’s Board of Directors, Kevin currently serves as its President-Elect. The selfless contribution of his financial experience and expertise, rooted in a distinguished banking career spanning more than three decades, has helped Shelter From The Storm enjoy responsibly managed growth and expanding levels of accomplishment. The oldest of eight siblings, this Minneapolis native has been married since 1979 to Pamela E. Ginther. They are the devoted parents of four sons: Brian (25), George (22), Sean (21) and Harrison (18). Since leading an investment group that purchased Palm Desert National Bank in 1989, Kevin has presided over the bank’s spectacular growth—while still finding the time to serve a variety of non-profit organizations in the Coachella Valley, including Palm Springs International Film Festival, Coachella Valley Education Foundation, Eisenhower Medical Center, Bob Hope Chrysler Classic, Palm Springs Desert Museum, American Diabetes Association (Desert Chapter), and St. Margaret’s Episcopal School. Shelter From The Storm is proud to be among the beneficiaries of Kevin’s wonderful community spirit, and we congratulate him on receiving the 2006 Unsung Hero Award! sSFTS
24-Hour Crisis Hotlines: (760) 328-SAFE or (800) 775-6055
Kevin McGuire and Edra Blixseth
Executive Director’s Message
Lynn Moriarty, Executive Director
SFTS Board of Directors
Edra Blixseth President Kevin McGuire President-Elect Irwin Golds Vice-President Robert J. Baltes, CPA, CVA Treasurer Mary Heckmann Secretary Steven Bloomquist Director Juan DeLara Director Stan Henry Director Patty Delgado Director Robert Spiegel Director Sandy Wessman Director Helen Reinsch Director Emerita
I, for one, am fed up with the “Twinkie Defense” statements and excuses made by child sexual abusers and their counsel. Abusing another human being is with almost no exceptions, a conscious decision. It is not solely the result of childhood abuse, alcohol, drugs, the internet, the media, advertisements, and films. It is a choice. (Interestingly, these are the same excuses used by batterers in domestic violence situations.) Having experienced sexual or other abuse as a child can certainly contribute to a troubled adulthood. However, to say that a rotten childhood “made me do it” just doesn’t fly. There are many among us who have suffered greatly as children, who reach out for help if we need it and make the clear choice to end the vicious cycle of abuse and go on to lead honorable and productive lives. Adults must take responsibility for their behavior and accept the consequences. Those who prey upon children know right from wrong as evidenced by the lengths to which they will go to cover up their crimes. Checking into rehab, the seemingly choice du jour, just doesn’t cut it. Send an abuser through rehab and you wind up with a sober abuser. When crimes of child sexual abuse are committed by esteemed authority figures or supposed role models they send a message to children that the world is not a safe place and that adults cannot be trusted. When a child reports abuse and is not believed the message is worse – no one cares. Any one or any entity that colludes in covering up these crimes is as guilty as the perpetrator and should be treated as the criminals that they are. There are no acceptable excuses. There is no known “cure” for sexual predators. What treatments there are have been shown to be marginally worthwhile at best. Researchers and mental health professionals struggle to find effective treatments, and we should encourage their efforts. But to date, even while in treatment or on medication, predators are at high risk for re-offending and must be rigorously monitored if not incarcerated. If they refuse treatment or are diagnosed as unable or unwilling to control their perversions we must do whatever it takes, up to and including institutionalization, to keep these monsters away from our children. I have witnessed the pain and suffering of children whose trust has been betrayed and whose innocence has been stolen. It is an awful thing to see. Working with such children to help them reclaim trust and self worth is an arduous task and can take a very long time. As a society we have a moral obligation to do everything within our power to protect our precious children. If this means that convicted sexual predators lose some rights, so be it. Better theirs than those of an innocent child. sSFTS
Shelter Board of Directors: back row; Juan De Lara, Bob Spiegel, Irwin Golds, Steve Bloomquist, Bob Baltes, Kevin McGuire. Seated, front row; Lynn Moriarty, Mary Heckmann, Edra Blixseth, Helen Reinsch, Sandy Wessman. Not pictured: Patty Delgado, Stan Henry
www.shelterfromthestorm.org
About Shelter From The Storm
Shelter From The Storm is the Coachella Valley’s only provider of shelter-based services to victims of domestic violence. We serve approximately 5,000 women and children each year in our 10 distinct program locations. All of our services in all locations are provided in Spanish, as well as in English. Our 41-member staff is multi-cultural, multi-ethnic and is representative of the population of our 840-square-mile service area. Numbers do not tell a complete story. Yet, they do attest to the magnitude of services that we provide for abused women and children annually.
Emergency Shelter
The Mary Stuart Rogers Center
Edra Blixseth Community Counseling Center
Named for our much loved board member, Edra Blixseth, our Community Counseling Center opened its doors in March 2000. Open to the entire Coachella Valley, the Center provides professional individual and group counseling, case management, advocacy and crisis intervention services to abused women and children. All are suffering the aftermath of physical, emotional and other forms of abuse at the hands of an intimate partner. In addition to serving 1,500 adult and child victims annually, the Palm Desert-based Community Counseling Center houses Shelter From The Storm’s administrative staff and the Helen M. Reinsch Legal Clinic.
Our 70-bed Emergency Shelter provides safety, counseling, case management, and legal and social service advocacy for nearly 600 women and children each year. Families come to the Emergency Shelter around the clock 365 days a year. Often they are fleeing for their lives. In addition to our 60-day residential and therapeutic services for families, we maintain two on-site schools for child residents: a Head Start-modeled preschool and a recently completed K-12 schoolhouse, which houses two spacious classrooms. Thanks to the collective hard work of those supporting the Shelter and the Shelter staff, this schoolhouse opened at the Shelter site in November 2003. It provides each child with a superb educational environment. We provide approximately 12,377 nights of emergency shelter and serve approximately 37,131 meals to our residents each year. Our 24-hour Crisis Lines field over 5,300 calls from women annually.
Teen Dating Violence Prevention and Education
Teen dating violence is epidemic nationwide. As part of our commitment to prevent future generations from becoming trapped in the “cycle of violence,” Shelter From The Storm has developed a program that brings interactive workshops to high schools throughout the Coachella Valley. Students learn to recognize the signs of abuse and are taught ways in which to safely end violent relationships. Of the 12,000 students who have attended our workshops, one-third have reported experiencing at least one incident of dating violence. This vital work must continue.
Long-Term Transitional Housing
Florence Rigdon Center
Our 20-unit, 120-bed, two-bedroom apartment campus offers up to two years of housing and supportive services to women and children who have resided in an Emergency Shelter and who require additional time to attain emotional and financial self-sufficiency. All residents receive professional individual and group counseling during their stay. Strong case management that focuses on education, budgeting, time management and self-sufficiency is a critical part of this program. All adult residents work and/or attend vocational training. They also avail themselves of supportive services and to save 30 percent of all income. Serving over 115 women and children by providing over 18,500 bednights annually, this two-year program is truly the “gift of time” for domestic violence victims. It serves as a healing “bridge” between the traumas suffered as a result of abuse and to re-entering the community as a productive and stable family unit.
Speakers Bureau & Professional Training
We know that community awareness and resolve will help to end violence against women and children. Education on domestic violence issues is a high priority for Shelter From The Storm. We provide consultation to professionals and hundreds of hours of training to the medical community, law enforcement agencies, legal and lay organizations each year.
Outreach Crisis Intervention Centers
Outreach Centers exist to provide community based bi-lingual Crisis Intervention services across the desert. The Outreach Crisis Intervention Centers are located in the cities of Palm Desert, Cathedral City, Desert Hot Springs, Palm Springs, and two Indio locations. Each year the Centers provide a variety of services, including assistance with restraining orders, intake to the Emergency Shelter and Counseling Center, advocacy and training for the community. Perhaps most importantly, the Centers offer a comforting and understanding neighborhood place where abused women and children can begin their journey to safe and healthy lives.
Helen M. Reinsch Legal Clinic
Through the generosity of Board Member Helen Reinsch, Shelter From The Storm’s umbrella of services also includes a legal clinic. The Shelter’s clients can get help in obtaining restraining orders, divorce, child custody and spousal support. A majority of our clients receive representation in court actions for restraining orders and other family matters. Other clients received legal advice and papers to file on an in pro per basis.
24-Hour Crisis Hotlines: (760) 328-SAFE or (800) 775-6055
Share The Joy at the SFTS Holiday Party
Each year, Shelter From The Storm hosts a holiday party for women and children who are currently in our residential programs and for those who have been in our emergency shelter in the past. At the party, mothers visit our “toy store” and select (at no cost) gifts for their children. Each child visits our “boutique” and selects (also at no cost) a gift for the mother. Volunteers are on hand to help the children shop and wrap. Refreshments and decorations provided by Shari Kelley, Franz Jevne’s talented guitar and sing-along, plus a “visit” from Santa make the event a joyful time for everyone. This is a wonderful opportunity for you to brighten the holiday season for families who have survived some of the worst that life has to offer. Many of these families struggle to make ends meet and have little money to spend to celebrate the holidays. In years past, mothers have told us that their children would not have had much of a holiday if it were not for the gifts made available to them at the party. We appreciate donations of new gifts for women and new, non-violent toys and games for children of all ages. We especially need gifts for teen-agers.
Please help us make the holiday season a time of celebration for the women and children we serve.
Wish list
Your generous donations will help us to continue our life-saving work.
May we suggest:
Gifts for women
Cosmetics, make-up, make-up tools, hair dryers, curlers, brushes; lotions, colognes, manicure sets; sweatsuits, socks, night clothes, slippers, purses and wallets.
Gifts for families who are “starting over”
Coffee pots, toasters, can openers and clocks; pots and pans, flatware and dishes, knife blocks; kitchen tools, household items of all kinds; linens of all kinds; tool sets; gift certificates.
Non-violent gifts for children of all ages
Clothing, pajamas, sweatshirts, belts and socks; stuffed animals, games, toys and baby toys; books and art supplies; boom boxes, videos, tapes and CD’s; watches and teen jewelry; sports equipment and attire; backpacks, wallets and fanny packs; gift certificates.
Emergency Shelter
Gently used sheets, pillow cases, blankets, pillows, wash cloths, towels, dish towels and cloths, laundry soap, bleach, softeners, dish soap, plastic bags, wraps, aluminum and plastic containers of all sizes, large trash bags, mops, brooms, cleaning supplies, pots and pans of all sizes, utensils and room fresheners.
HOLIDAY DONATIONS
Drop-off locations:
Personal Needs (New)
Facial care, make-up, hair care items, lotions and creams, soaps, personal hygiene items, cologne or perfume, feel-good beauty items.
New Items in Constant Demand
Socks, underwear in various sizes, tennis shoes in all sizes, clothing, over-the-counter medications, non-violent videos and blank journals.
Palm Desert National Bank
73-745 El Paseo, Palm Desert 70-390 Highway 111, Rancho Mirage 47000 Washington Street, La Quinta
Babies and Children’s Items
Diapers, diapers, diapers!!! Baby wipes, baby booties, pacifiers, pajamas all sizes, new underwear, shoes, socks, baby clothes, baby blankets, cribs and accessories, high chairs, strollers and car seats.
Cathedral City Police Department
68-700 Ave. Lalo Guerrero, Cathedral City
Food Items
Food to freeze: chicken, beef, hot dogs, turkey, ham, lunch meats and cheese, plus all kinds of food items; tuna, canned foods, jars of pasta sauce, juices, fruits, vegetables, seasonings, spices, coffee and tea staples, boxed cereals, crackers, cake and cookie mixes, and non-perishables.
Palm Springs City Hall
3200 E. Tahquitz Canyon Way, Palm Springs
Palm Desert City Hall
73-510 Fred Waring Dr., Palm Desert
Reminders:
Shelter From the Storm Outreach Office
82675 Highway 111, Indio
Do not wrap the gifts. We accept toys that are non-violent in nature (i.e., no guns, knives, swords, etc.). Holidays are a time for sharing. You can brighten the holiday for abused women and children by adding one or two gift items to your shopping list. New items only, please. December 13 is the last day to drop off toys.
Thank you.
www.shelterfromthestorm.org
the date save
0am th @ 11:3 , april 18 ay Wednesd to Follow Invitation
Last Years’ Hats Off Luncheon
Our Angel Award Honoree, Harriet Goldberg recieves recognition from Assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia, the 2006 Guest Speaker.
24-Hour Crisis Hotlines: (760) 328-SAFE or (800) 775-6055
www.shelterfromthestorm.org
The Shockingly Sad Statistics of Domestic Violence…
Throughout California, across the nation, and around the world, domestic violence is nothing less than an epidemic. As we offer our thanks for your participation in Shelter From The Storm’s 00 Gala and Golf Tournament, we also wanted to offer you a glimpse at the scourge you are helping us to confront. The statistics are indeed shocking and sad.
Why She Stays…
The number one question most people ask and want to understand is why abused women stay with their abusers. The question, however, should be “Why does he batter?” To ask “Why does she stay?” places the blame on the victim. The reality is that the majority of battered women make heroic efforts at leaving, but because of the following reasons, most are unsuccessful: Fear: The number one reason for not leaving is fear. According to the FBI, up to 40 percent of female homicides in any given year occur when the woman decides to leave an abusive relationship. Given this fact, it is very important that the battered woman’s expression of fear not be minimized. It must be recognized that her fears are not unfounded! If she makes a decision to leave, a safety plan should be put in place. Lack of Support Resources: Since one of the major components of abuse is isolation, the battered woman most often lacks a support system. Her family ties and friendships have been destroyed, leaving her psychologically and financially dependent on the abusive partner. Lack of Finances: The economic reality for women (particularly those with children) is bleak. This is especially true for women who have not worked outside the home. Economic dependence on the abuser is a very real reason for remaining in the relationship. Public assistance programs have been drastically reduced, and those that remain provide inadequate benefits. Children: Being a single parent is a strenuous experience under the best of circumstances, and for most battered women, conditions are far from the best. The enormous responsibility of raising children alone can be overwhelming. Often, the abuser may threaten to take the children away from the mother if she even attempts to leave. Guilt Feelings: The woman may believe that her husband is “sick” and/or needs her help; the idea of leaving can, thus, produce feelings of guilt. Promises to Reform: As is consistent with the cycle of violence, the abuser promises it will never happen again; the victim wants to believe this is true. Sex-Role Conditioning: Most women are still taught to be passive and dependent on men. In addition, women generally accept the responsibility for success or failure in their relationships; to leave is to admit failure. Religious Beliefs and Values: Religious beliefs reinforce the commitment to marriage. Many faiths hold that the husband is head of the family and it is a wife’s duty to be submissive to him. This may be a powerful reason for some to stay in a destructive relationship. Love for Spouse or Partner: Most people enter a relationship for love, and that emotion does not disappear easily or in the face of difficulty. After a battering, the abuser often is extremely penitent. Because the woman’s selfesteem is so low following the incident, the apologies and promises of reform are often perceived as the end of the abuse. Unfortunately, this is not the case. We know that you recognize observing a burglary, child abuse, or even cruelty to animals in a neighborhood might quickly be reported; whereas , an assault on a wife or significant other may not because many people turn a “deaf ear” to marital violence and believe what goes on behind closed doors is a “private matter.” Fortunately, you do not. And for your support we are most grateful. So, once again, Shelter From The Storm thanks you for participating in the 2006 Gala and Golf Tournament, which helps us to carry on our important mission. sSFTS
u Estimates range from 90,000 incidents of violence against
a current or former spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend each year to million incidents of women being physically abused by their husband or boyfriend each year.
u
According to a 199 Commonwealth Fund survey, nearly one-third of American women (1 percent) report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives. Thirty percent of Americans say they know a woman who has been physically abused by her husband or boyfriend in the past year. violent crime against women and more than half a million American Women (,90) were victims of non-fatal violence committed by an intimate partner. partner violence during pregnancy. by an intimate partner.
u
u In 001, intimate partner violence made up 0 percent of
u As many as ,000 women each year experience intimate u Women of all races are about equally vulnerable to violence u
Male violence against women does much more damage than female violence against men; women are much more likely to be injured than men. occurring in domestic violence filings. Between 199 and 199, 1 to states with -year filing figures reported an increase of 0 percent or more. suffering severe physical assaults from an intimate partner. their husbands or boyfriends in this country every day. In 000, 1, women were killed by an intimate partner. The same year, 0 men were killed by an intimate partner, demonstrating that women are much more likely than men to be killed by an intimate partner. In 000, intimate partner homicides accounted for . percent of the murders in women and less than percent of the murders of men. be victims of homicide than to die of any other cause. And evidence exists that a significant proportion of all female homicide victims are killed by their intimate partners.
u The most rapid growth in domestic relations caseloads is
u Women are to 1 times more likely than men to report
u On the average, more than three women are murdered by
u Pregnant and recently pregnant women are more likely to
24-Hour Crisis Hotlines: (760) 328-SAFE or (800) 775-6055
Shelter From The Storm School & Teachers
Robert Mottaz, M. A.
Amazing Growth
It is hard to believe that for many years, even in a community as caring as the Coachella Valley, violence against women and children was the dirty little secret that no one wanted to talk about. Finally, in 1988, recognizing how desperate that need, a group of women and men came together determined to find a way to help. In 1993 they opened what is still the Coachella Valley’s only Emergency Shelter for victims of domestic violence. From that day to this, the Shelter has never closed its doors and has surely saved many lives. Yet as important as shelters are, they are not the answer for everyone. Recognizing this and acutely aware of many unmet needs, we made a commitment to create a continuum of services that would offer domestic violence victims the best possible chance to create safe and healthy lives. Today we have over 200 beds and 11 distinct program locations throughout the desert. Agency wide, we serve over 3,000 women and children each year. All of our services are offered in Spanish as well as English. Our Mary Stuart Rogers Emergency Shelter provides 60 days of refuge and a wide range of services including individual and group counseling, case management, and legal services for women and children who are often fleeing for their lives. To keep the children safe, on-site schooling is provided at the Shelter in our pre-school and in our beautiful K-12 Mary Heckmann School that opened in 2002. However, many families are so severely traumatized that they require additional time and support services after their 60-day Shelter stay. In 2000, we opened the valley’s only long-term transitional housing program for women and children. Families may stay for up to two years in our Florence Rigdon Transitional Living Center. While there, they join the workforce and receive clinical, legal, and case management services specifically designed to help them achieve emotional and financial stability. Also in 2000, we opened the doors to our Edra Blixseth Community Counseling Center. The Center offers adult and child victims of abuse who are not in need of shelter, services similar to those offered in our Shelter. The demand for services offered at the Counseling Center increased so dramatically that it soon became clear that we needed to expand. Thanks to Mary Bono, we obtained federal dollars to remodel and expand the Center to twice its original size. In 2003, a generous gift from our board member, Helen Reinsch, allowed us to fill the last gap in our continuum of services when we opened our Helen M. Reinsch Legal Clinic. Now our women no longer must face their abusers in court without representation. Having counsel to represent them has resulted in Restraining orders that are more favorable to the victim and that provide for safer court-ordered visitations for the offender when minor children are involved. Our eight Outreach Crisis Intervention offices are located in cities throughout the desert and act as a gateway to all of our services. Each office is staffed with both English and Spanish speaking advocates. Shelter From The Storm has come a long way since 1988. But we know that there is more to be done. Just keeping up with the demands for services remains a daily challenge. And our work to end the plague of domestic violence will not be done as long as one family lives in fear. All of us at Shelter From The Storm are grateful for the ongoing support that allows us to continue to provide our life-changing services. We want you to know that because you care, we are able to continue to save and rebuild lives…one family at a time sSFTS
www.shelterfromthestorm.org
9
All too often the overlooked victims of domestic violence are the children who have witnessed or been the subject themselves of violence and abuse in many forms. As a result, in the Shelter From The Storm’s pre-school and K-12 School, we, as teachers deal with many of their unique problems, both academic and emotional, that such violence and abuse entails. Often these children come to us mistrusting and fearful of adults and peers and lacking belief in their own abilities and self worth. Consequently, they may display inappropriate social and peer relationship skills or show overly aggressive or withdrawn behaviors. Because of this, we are extremely sensitive to both academic and emotional needs, and we work hard to meet those needs on an individual basis. Many children will come to us with academic lags in the basic skills, such as reading, spelling and math. We informally evaluate their abilities and plan individualized programs to utilize their academic strengths and remediate their areas of weakness whether they be in reading readiness, phonics, reading comprehension, basic math skills, or writing. Rewards are given both in the form of small toys, stickers, and other items appropriate to their age and in genuine and sincere verbal praise, to reinforce the learning of these necessary skills. Examples of a student’s work then may be posted in the Shelter as a source of pride for both them and their mother to see. Other children arrive with strong academic skills. In those cases, we plan programs to build upon their strengths by having them investigate and utilize information in reports, essays, and projects. Students who need to receive units for high school graduation have the opportunity to receive credit towards graduation for the work they complete here. Our educational program also includes other areas of study such as art, physical education, science, and social studies. The students also receive group and individual counseling from the Shelter’s highly skilled counseling staff. One of the greatest joys we receive, as educators and, indeed, as a staff as a whole, is seeing children who have entered the Shelter scared, anxious, withdrawn, and angry leave with relaxed, broad smiles on shining faces reflecting the confidence, security, and hope they have for a now brighter future. Our goal, as teachers at Shelter From The Storm is, not only, to continue to give our students strong support in their learning, but to ensure that as they grow academically, they also grow healthier emotionally. sSFTS
Shelter From the Storm teachers at the 2006 Halloween party.
2006 Gala and Golf Tournament
Special thanks to Edra and Tim Blixseth for hosting this year’s Gala Events.
10
24-Hour Crisis Hotlines: (760) 328-SAFE or (800) 775-6055
www.shelterfromthestorm.org
11
Integrity Management
Jeffrey Kramer, CFO
Regularly, headlines reveal breakdowns of integrity and ethics in corporations and government. On the national and local levels, even non-profit organizations – religious and charitable – have proven vulnerable to criminal and ethical misconduct. These events can represent a serious and costly risk to the survival of any business organization. Losses are not limited to litigation, fraudulent financial acts or fines; the damage to an organization’s reputation and image, and to client trust is, perhaps the greatest loss. At Shelter From The Storm, integrity management is a priority not just because it is legally required, but because it is the right thing to do. We don’t blindly think, “It could never happen to us.” Instead, we aggressively ask the question, “Can we do more to ensure that it never happens to us?” We routinely review our policies, procedures and controls and then internally monitor our own compliance. Then, annually, these are reviewed by an independent auditing firm that reports directly to the Board of Directors. Because of the large number of governmental dollars entrusted to Shelter From The Storm, we are required to have what is called a “single audit”. This is the highest level of review and compliance testing required by Congress. In every year that we have been subject to this, we have been determined to be “a low-risk auditee” – this is the brass-ring in the nonprofit accounting world. In fact, we have never had an audit finding that questioned cost. The goal of Shelter From The Storm’s management is to ensure that when you see the agency’s name in the headlines, it is for the life-saving and life-changing work that we do, not for any violations of integrity or ethics. sSFTS
It is a sad fact that women die every day at the hands of a husband or an intimate partner.
It Can Happen to Anyone…
So much of who and what we are is the result of our life experiences beginning with early childhood. As children, we tend to think that all families function similarly to our own. We accept as normal the behaviors modeled for us by our parents. We learn by emulating the ways in which our parents react to a variety of situations. For children living with family violence, this is a two-fold tragedy. First, they learn that living in fear is just the way life is. Second, they learn that violence is an acceptable response to anger and frustration. Far too many children repeat the lessons learned in their early years later in life. Women whose mothers were victims of abuse are at high risk of perpetuating that role. Similarly, men whose fathers were abusers overwhelmingly tend to emulate those behaviors in their relationships. The “cycle of violence” is vicious. It entraps families for generations. Without outside intervention, the cycle is virtually impossible to break. People live their lives going from Phase One – unbearable tension – to Phase Two – eruption of the violence – and then to Phase Three – remorse and, ultimately, to forgiveness. During the remorse stage of the cycle, all the good things in the relationship happen. Trips and gifts, family time, promises to change, and loving behaviors by the batterer all occur during this phase. The abuser rekindles in his victim a hope that the violence will not happen again. But once that is accomplished, the cycle begins again. And so it goes, frequently for a lifetime. It is a sad fact that women die every day at the hands of a husband or an intimate partner. Every seven seconds a woman in the United States is beaten. In homes where the mother is the primary victim, over 70 percent of the children are also abused. These children take what they learn at home on to our streets and into our schools. They carry these learned behaviors into their teen years and well beyond. If we are ever to end the “cycle of violence” we must begin with our children. When they are very young we must teach them to respect one another and to understand that no matter what the situation, violence is never an option. Children need to learn that violent behavior has consequences for them just as it does for adults. Adolescents and teens must be taught acceptable responses to relationship frustrations. Teens need to be able to recognize the early warning signs of abusive relationships and become empowered to leave them. And, most important, parents must be positive role models for their children. Their lives may depend upon it. sSFTS
1
24-Hour Crisis Hotlines: (760) 328-SAFE or (800) 775-6055
Legal System ... Victory and Defeat
Rebecca Cornia, JD, Director, SFTS Helen M. Reinsch Legal Clinic
In the most recent California legislative session, the legislature dealt with a number of bills affecting the treatment and rights of domestic violence survivors. A new statute (Civil Code §1798.79.9), sponsored by Senator Sheila Kuehl, prevents businesses and government agencies from requesting personal information about domestic violence survivors under the terms of any grant or award to domestic violence service providers. The privacy rights awarded to domestic violence survivors were also extended to cover sexual assault survivors. Another statute (Family Code §6250.3) requires a judge to make specific factual findings before issuing an emergency protective order (valid for up to five business days). A new law shortens the time within which a restrained party must surrender firearms from 72 hours to 24 hours. A special victory for Shelter From The Storm staff is a new law, sponsored at our request by Assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia’s office, that requires law enforcement officers to inform a victim of domestic violence of her right to an emergency protective order. Our experience has been that 90 percent of our clients do not even know about the existence of such orders. Requiring law enforcement officers to bring emergency protection orders to the attention of victims gives those women another opportunity to protect themselves and their children. It also empowers them to use the legal system for help. Finally, California legislating awaiting the Governor’s signature would require information and training on domestic violence in the gay, lesbian, and transgender communities.
to ensure that 19 states, including Colorado, passed laws mandating arrest of batterers who violate restraining orders. The ruling intimates a profound ignorance of the potential violence that threatens every person protected by a restraining order. Most “intimate partner” crime takes place when courts are closed. If the police do not enforce restraining orders, those orders lose a good part of their effectiveness. The Gonzales ruling is a true defeat for those who work so hard to prevent domestic violence. sSFTS
A special victory for Shelter From The Storm staff is a new law, sponsored at our request by Assemblywoman Bonnie Garcia
Charitable Contributions
Robert J. Baltes, CPA, CVA,
Favorable Charitable Contribution Deduction Limits Announced.
All contributions to any charitable organization will receive a special benefit. The benefit amounts to an increase in the otherwise allowable amount. Whereas the former limit was 50% of Adjusted Gross Income (AGI), the increased will be 100% of AGI. Example: If your AGI is $100,000 and you make charitable contributions amounting to $75,000, you may deduct the entire amount and not be limited to a $50,000 deduction as in the past. (Any unused amounts had to be carried over to future years.) In fact, you could make contributions of up to $100,000 in this example and take the deduction currently. If you are considering taking advantage of this change please consult your tax advisor. sSFTS
United States Supreme Court Ruling
A recent ruling from the United States Supreme Court that was not supportive of domestic violence survivors was responsible for the tragic outcome of a case in Colorado. In Gonzales vs. Castle Rock, the Court held that police are not required to enforce restraining orders even if state law mandates that they do so. Consequently, in the Gonzales case when the plaintiff’s mother called the police to report that her ex-husband was in violation of a restraining order by failing to return her daughters to her at the end of a visitation period, the Castle Rock police refused to investigate. Ms. Gonzales had made six requests to the police for help. She even went so far as to look for her ex-husband’s pickup truck and report its location to the police. She also told officers that she feared for her daughters’ lives if they remained in their father’s control. Still, the Castle Rock police ignored Ms. Gonzales’ warnings and information for hours. Finally, at 3:20 a.m. the ex-husband showed up at the police station and opened fire on the officers. They then shot and killed him. Police found the dead bodies of the three girls, ages 7, 9, and 10, in the back of their father’s pickup truck. In spite of the clear (virtually criminal) negligence of the Castle Rock police, the U.S. Supreme Court held that they had no duty to enforce the terms of Ms. Gonzales’ restraining order. In fact, the Court specifically disregarded a provision of Colorado law mandating that police enforce restraining orders, holding that the Colorado legislature really meant that police officers should use their own discretion in deciding which orders to enforce. The effect of this ruling was to undo much of the success of domestic violence prevention advocates who worked hard in the 1980s and 1990s
u Emergency Shelter u 24-Hour Crisis Line u Community Counseling Center u Individual & Group Counseling for Women u Individual & Group Counseling for Children u Helen M. Reinsch Legal Clinic u Parenting Group u Case Management u Advocacy u Outreach Drop-in Centers u Transitional Housing u Teen Dating Violence Prevention u Community Education u Speakers Bureau u Professional Consultation
1
www.shelterfromthestorm.org
SFTS SERVICES
“Victims of domestic violence experience a physical and emotional trauma that must be met with compassionate services and treatments to assist in their recovery. I am proud of the work that is performed on a daily basis by the staff of Shelter from the Storm; and their unwavering commitment to address the needs of those who are victims of domestic violence in the Coachella Valley.” Congresswoman Mary Bono “Domestic violence does not just live inside the home. It affects our community when women (and sometimes men) are forced to live in terrified silence, and children are subjected to hate and violence. These victims are too often prevented from becoming the capable confident people they otherwise could have been- statistics show many criminals were once victims of abuse. It is our obligation as a community to get involved and help provide safe and supportive alternatives like Shelter from the Storm. Shelter from the Storm is an escape route we can never afford to lose.” -Senator Jim Battin “Domestic violence is a very serious issue in our community. I think people under-estimate the impact caused to women and children and that’s why it is important to have organizations like the Shelter from the Storm that save the lives of those who are hurt.” said Senator Ducheny. “Shelter from the Storm has provided safety, comfort and support to countless victims of domestic violence in the Coachella Valley. I first learned about their program at a Rotary meeting where plans for their first shelter were unveiled. Later, I was pleased to lead the successful effort to garner their first United Way of the Desert support. I have toured the facility several times and always feel a strong personal attachment to the fine work of this organization. As a law enforcement officer, I saw first-hand the danger present, for both the spouse and kids, in the home of an abuser. Please keep doing the fine job you have done- protecting women and their children at their most vulnerable time.” -Assemblyman John J. Benoit “Shelter from the Storm is one of the most crucial service providers in Riverside County. Throughout the years, it has provided safe haven to abused women and their children who would otherwise have nowhere to go. It shines a beacon of hope into the life of any woman who needs help, and it brightens the path of escape and recovery. I don’t know how we could function as a community without Shelter from the Storm.” -Supervisor Roy Wilson “As a forty-year survivor of domestic violence I personally know very well how important it is to have resources available when you think you are trapped and totally alone. Shelter from the Storm furnishes a lifeline to women and children that cannot be measured simply by the safe haven they provide. The real value of this organization is the tools; guidance and understanding they make available to help women achieve a sustaining successful path to the future.” -Ginny Foat, Palm Springs Mayor Pro Tem “Few things in life are more important then feeling safe in our own home. Home is where we should feel the most protected. It should be our refuge, our sanctuary. Domestic violence shatters not only our home life, but also our bodies and psyches and it leaves our families in tatters. We must strive to rid our society of this breech of common decency in every way we can.” -Councilmember Mary T. Roche “I don’t know that domestic violence has escalated over the years but it is a devastating experience. We at the City of Palm Desert support organizations like Shelter from the Storm as it provides a safe haven in time of need.” -Jean Benson
Shelter From The Storm Staff
Administration Staff
Lynn Moriarty Jeffrey Kramer Susan Simmons Suzie Money Teresa Fernandez Executive Director Chief Financial Officer Administrative Assistant Grants Manager Office Manager/Receptionist Clinician Psychiatrist Clinician Clinician Case Manager Case Manager/Volunteer Coordinator Transitional Housing Resident Manager Transitional Housing Resident Manager Shelter Director Shelter Case Manager Shelter Case Manager School Teacher School Teacher Teacher’s Aide Preschool Teacher Preschool Teacher’s Aide Shelter Staff Shelter Staff Shelter Staff Shelter Staff Shelter Staff Shelter Staff Shelter Staff Shelter Staff Outreach Advocate Outreach Advocate Outreach Advocate CalWORKS Advocate CalWORKS Advocate
Clinical Staff
Angie Negro, M.S.W. Richard Torban, M.D. Maria LaRosa, M.F.T. Zoila Adams, M.F.T. Lillian Sesma Laura Jaime La Juana Butler Nina Santana
Para-Professional Staff
Emergency Shelter Staff
Corrine Gutierrez Francine Duran Maricela Ponce Jan Ligman Robert Mottaz Carmen Villa Heather Warshaw Wendy Ramos Michelle Lewis Elena Ramirez Denise Romero Melissa Pryor Victoria Nsubuga Adriana Zaragosa Tina Quintana Angela Chacon
Outreach Staff
Angela Quintana Patricia Ruiz Catherine Romero Oralia Bracamonte Diana Perez
Legal Clinic Staff
Rebecca Cornia, Esq. Ramona Ramero
Director Legal Assistant
Shelter From The Storm staff at the 2006 Gala
1
24-Hour Crisis Hotlines: (760) 328-SAFE or (800) 775-6055
A Partial List of Our Wonderful Donors
Thank you for your continued support.
A Partial List of Individual Donors, Organizations and Foundations
Doug & Marie Griffiths, United Way of the Desert, Wells Fargo Foundation, City of Palm Desert, Prest-Vuksic Architects, United Methodist Women, Mary & Joseph Gaugush, Sally & Charles Spurgeon, JoAnn McGrath, Edra & Tim Blixseth, Helen Reinsch, Ardith & Howard Marguleas, Mary Heckmann, The Louis Auer Foundation, Indian Palms Women’s Golf Club, Methodist Church of Palm Springs, Desert Orthopedic Center, Avondale Country Club, Palm Springs Lions Club, Bob Hope Chrysler Classic, City of Indian Wells, Bonnie & William Cloer, Nedra & Reuel Young, St. Margaret’s Episcopal Church, Rebecca & Craig Shafer, Yellowstone Club, Earl Greenburg, John Herklotz, Seward Prosser Mellon, Martha Higgins, Brooke & Stephan Howhannesian, Laura & William Winterhalter, Sandy Wessman, Jill & Robert Inches, Trinity Lutheran Church, Ultra Salon, Union Bank Foundation, Sherry & Bruce Bales, O’Linn Executive Security Systems, Inc., Karen Moller, Palm Desert Rotary, Beth Mack Castle, Jeannette & John Banoczi, Par Busters Women’s Golf Club, Maria Greenwald, Virginia & Thomas Melin, Steve Bloomquist, Pam & Kevin McGuire, Palm Desert Greens Women’s Club, Audrey & Jack Leif, Rosa & Robert Gray, Kathleen & Allen Salmon, Debra & Robert Baltes, Janine & Henry Burdick, Douglas Johnson, Betty Simon, Cathedral City Community Church, Palm Valley Country Club, Saks Fifth Avenue, McDonnell Family Foundation, Jackie Lee and Jim Houston, Mary Sue and Michael Shannon, Soroptimist International of Palm Desert, Valley Wide Sheet Metal, Inc., Mr. & Mrs. Leo Rogers, Jr., Dr. J. Conrad Greenwald, City of Indian Wells, Dorothea & Daniel Cadiff, Lynn Moriarty, Mission Hills Country Club Women’s Group, Edison International, Dale Chalifaux, Susan & Harry Seymour, Sun City Palm Springs Stitch & Sew, Lowe Reserve Corporation, Palm Desert National Bank, Vickee Banta, Betty & President Gerald Ford, La Quinta Women’s Golf Auxiliary, The California Endowment, Lainie & Tom Weil, Kathie and Larry Parrish, Boeing Company, Martha Hardacre, Fidelity Investments Charitable Gift Fund, Indian Springs Homeowners Association, Andrea Greenbaum, Patricia Conrow, Dwight Halden Family Foundation, Our Lady of Soledad Parish, Dolores Beightol, Granite Construction, Sallie & Dan Dutton, Mr. & Mrs. William Pitruzzelli, Greenburg Family Foundation, Douglas Hugh McCall Trust, VeeAnne Petitte, Kirby & Ellen Cramer, Ellen & James Weil, Corinne & Sid Lieken, The Gardens On El Paseo, First Southwest Company, A. W. Cherne, Steven Harmon, Esq., Kimberly Tragerman, Mr. & Mrs. Jerome Angel, Max & Victoria Dreyfus Foundation, Champions Volunteer Foundation, Judith & James Weeks, Ruth White, Mary and Dave Bales, Ewing & Marilyn Bartgis, Jan & James Halper, Marc Russell Interiors, City of Coachella, Nani & Robert Warren Foundation, Barbara & Naz Noujaim, Weingart Foundation, Tim McIntosh, McDonnell Family Foundation, Amy Jennison, Lester Family Foundation, Mr. & Mrs. Brad Rodi, Susan & William Erb, Carlsbad Dental, Jeff Wine, Leeds & Son, Welch Gallery, Don Clark, Tim Tibbits.
1
www.shelterfromthestorm.org
shelter from the storm, inc. 73-555 alessandro drive, ste d palm desert, ca 92260
LOCATIONS & SERVICES:
All Services are available in English and Spanish
ADMINISTRATION
Edra Blixseth Community Counseling Center Business Center 73-555 Alessandro Dr., Ste D Palm Desert, CA 92260 (760) 674-0400
OUTREACH CENTERS
1695 North Sunrise Palm Springs CA 92262-5309 (760) 318-0140 14-201 Palm Drive, Ste 110 Desert Hot Springs CA 92240-6881 (760) 251-3445, Ext. 234 46-209 Oasis Street, 1st Floor Indio, CA 92201 (760) 863-7871 68-615 Perez Road, #9A Cathedral City CA 92234 (760) 770-2406 44-199 Monroe Street Indio, CA 92201 (760) 863-2825 53-990 Enterprise Way, Suite 7 Coachella, CA 92236 (760) 393-0561
NON-PROFIT ORG U.S. POSTAGE PAID PALM DESERT, CA PERMIT #124
24-Hour Crisis Lines
(760) 328-7233
SAFE
TOLL FREE (800) 775-6055
THE MISSION OF SHELTER FROM THE STORM IS TO PROVIDE COMPREHENSIVE SERVICES TO VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROFESSIONALLY, ETHICALLY AND COMPASSIONATELY.
1
24-Hour Crisis Hotlines: (760) 328-SAFE or (800) 775-6055 • www.shelterfromthestorm.org