Moral violence and harassment in the family by aqeelplanner

VIEWS: 3,805 PAGES: 6

									                         Moral violence and harassment in the family
It is called bullying, psychological harassment, mental cruelty, wickedness, psychological abuse,
mobbing, gaslighting, perverse violence in all its forms, is a serious interference with each other and to
human dignity.

Harassment in the private sphere

There are several associations against harassment at work. But what about the victims of harassment
private? Paradoxically, while the family or person with whom one has a bond of love is supposed to love
us, comfort us, protect us, sometimes, on the contrary, we should be bullied, insulted, belittled. A
person benefits from this relationship to take power away from the importance at our expense.

Worse yet, the family has always been protected and the legislature is prohibited from dealing with
private affairs of individuals. Hence the door open to any abuse.

An attitude destabilizing

But, of course, the pitfall is that this relationship is based on emotions: Very often the feelings that we
feel or the dependency that bind us to this person keep us from understanding, awareness, respond.
The narcissistic pervert, beneath a smiling and apparently loving, comes to destroy a person by words of
humiliation, ambiguities, words that kill, situations which have the appearance of normalcy but it feels
vaguely illogical without really knowing why.

His attitude is destabilizing because it is frankly not of malice and selfishness alternate excuses,
embracing wickedness and follow so that we know more. A fit of rage by an angelic look surprised or
immediately after. You made a gift immediately after filth. If you stay in spite, you become the resentful
or. If you doubt, you're paranoid. Anyway you do not understand! you have no humor, you're not
modern, you have the wrong mind! if you're the fool.

What does it really?

It is the ambiguity that makes you uncomfortable and it enables the abuser to deny that things are
always being made to limit the Act to limit the insult to the limit of humor ...Something he will cope if
you complain you will find a tone to say a nice dirt. A word of love said no love, or in the same sentence
two contradictory statements etc.. And then the aggressor is always presented as suffering more than
you. It weeps, it complains, complains that ... it will steal the show when you want to talk to you.

The assailant said that he suffers, and often, yes, these are people who have been demolished in their
childhood or destroyed by jealousy evil borne from a brother or sister. Even if that person suffers, it
shows a lack of respect for his victim. It is not apprehended as a free person. The attacker tries to
impose its will by force or by the tears of pity, sometimes with gifts inappropriate or impossible to make.

Bias: the fragility of the victim

The victim is someone fragile, contrary to what one thinks it is someone generous who brings warmth
and love. Someone who loves and has a heart. All victims have encountered people who have character,
tone. In a word: energy and that is what it is: it has been selected for!

If the victim feels exhausted, it is not in his nature is just as perverse or perversely who chose him to
come suck his energy. The difficulty is that often the victim believes in love, in its transformative power,
healing etc.. That disappointment when years later they realize they threw beads to the pig! The other
has not changed! it is, it is insatiable. Most victims have thought that the problem they had, they tried to
"cure", they were not believed, or psy asked them to ask questions about what in them has caused this

The force of perverse instinct strong and disturbing, some victims are frightened and they think that
their abuser was a sort of demonic vision: if one tries to thwart his attention, it seems he knows
everything. When you feel that you go when you sensed that included, redouble the fury!

Fortunately, more and more psychologists are formed at this very special form of aggression. A
psychoanalyst in his book tells how his own patients arrived at destabilizing when they came supposedly

The relational climate

This perverse violence eventually degrade considerably climate relationships and self-image. It creates
relational deplorable conditions that have disastrous consequences on the psychological health of the
victim. For the grand strategy of evil is that each fact in isolation might pass for a trifle, and you can even
blame a misinterpretation or have a twisted mind. Most often it is the aggressor who poses as a victim.
The victim's health deteriorates, you can attend a somatization of psychological distress (asthma,
obesity, eczema, psoriasis) even when an adult.

At the time these attacks threaten the physical and mental health of the victim.

Soouvent, we are ashamed not to have realized before. Shame also have subjected it to his children. The
mechanism of control is such that you could not do otherwise. join the association and hear from other
members of the same amazement.

The special case of the child

Imagine then the dependency of a child from his father, his mother, an adult close to him and expected
him to bring comfort, protection and support to grow and be free from the shackles of childhood.

The adult knows he has to face him, a being malleable. He uses the child to feel the power to exist at the
expense of the child and his energy. And never the aggressor is not questioned. The child always
wonders if it is not him who is the source of the problem: the other being so sure (e) of him or her, you
end up doubting themselves! This certainly removes the child victim's entire identity. Because nothing is
seen outside the adult is so manipulative that goes well in society, the adult being flattered by the child,
the child is confident, he has no right of to exist. No right to happiness, no right to childhood. It is no
longer the object of the adult abuser and can not be ON.

This attitude is a grave abuse. But abuse is not recognized as such. Therefore the association HAIR OF
CORE was created.

The child is no longer considered to be in the making: it is an object. The desire of the parent. He is not
entitled to his own desire.

 Serious Consequences

Although it's hard to name, this conduct is unreasonable aggression. The narcissistic pervert has
incredible strength for without ever having a bad conscience, he manages to destabilize his victim
depths of herself on the edge of life and death. Its action is inhuman because the victim does not exist
for him as a person but only as an object to vampirize to depreciate. Victims are often selected for their
life force and their qualities, eventually, be vampirized, having no will, or with suicidal ideas that amaze
themselves. Without realizing it, they were caught in a spider web. Their base was stolen from under

A serious attack on human dignity

This process has led some victims to such a destabilization they ended up committing suicide.

According to Marie-France HIRIGOYEN, psychoanalyst and psychiatrist: "The perverse violence victim
confronts his fault, the forgotten trauma of childhood. It excites the death instinct which is the seed
from each individual. Perverts looking at the other the seed of destruction that can then activate a
communication destabilizing. The relationship with the perverse narcissistic mirror functions as a
negative. The good self-image is transformed into non-love. "

No support from the surrounding

Around us no support for the pervert's always for a great person. Obviously! Do you grieve not: because
his weapon is seduction. Do not try to convince your friends or people in your family. It's useless. Plus
you try and you bump into their logic and tense their refusal! Eliminating false friends. Do not try to
convince those who do not believe. The narcissistic pervert is always stronger than you in adversity.
The people you love will disappoint you: we must understand that the attraction is strong, and they
need an effort to accept the idea that they were fooled.

How about it?

Harassment of perverse narcissistic aggression is peculiar in that usually there is no evidence of the
attack. It is very difficult for the victim of a perverse narcissistic recourse to justice and address some
stakeholders (pediatrician, physician, psychologist, social worker, educator, and even psychiatrist), few
people and help you.

If the interviewer does not know the experience or has not an open mind and listen to human, the
victim is not believed.

And he is already so difficult if not impossible to explain what happens as the situation is complex.
Indeed, when trying to explain, it is ridiculous because the facts seem trivial.

This is a perversion of the abuser: no questioning of the aggressor on the one hand where his power of
persuasion and manipulation by cons, guilt and discomfort of the victim when the victim did not find
itself accused publicly or legally. We must talk to people who have experienced, professionals who you
believe, the organizations who know the phenomenon.

A question often asked:

                    "a perverse narcissist ever change? "

Victims who believe in the redemptive love see often ask this question whether they should continue
fighting or whether they should abandon the struggle and leave or divorce.

Fortunately for the victim, the proper question is not it.

For it is clear that a perverse narcissist is not only unable to change but it would be dangerous to his
psyche. As said Gerard Lopez, the vampire can not look in the mirror (the work itself). They even
manage to destabilize their psychoanalyst!

The conditions are very similar, the behavior is similar. We must not confuse a perverse narcissist with a
paranoid, selfish pathological manipulator or a borderline ..... etc etc or even with a narcissist at all.

There are thousands of diseases in which one seeks to culpabilier, destroy, to hurt another.
 The current language is lumping together all that. However, the narcissistic depravity is very special.

So do not take a decision that involves your whole life on a diagnosis that is wrong.

By cons, what you are sure is that YOU ARE NOT HAPPY and HAPPY!

The trap of this issue is a real trap: "He says he will change." She says she will make efforts so

at least one good advice: do not go to therapy with your partner or your abuser perverse: It's the perfect
place that is more tricky for you and the opportunity favorite perverts.


It is important, if not vital, to regroup and get support.

We must not remain isolated. We must get together, contact associations. He must get help from a
psychiatrist who recognizes the existence of this phenomenon. The only solution is to permanently leave
the abuser.


Only justice can bring a solution. The judges, although some still clinging to old systems, including
refusing to open their eyes to the manipulation of a mother, are generally getting better this
phenomenon. He arrived in situations that we have followed, they then understood that psychologists
and psychiatrists have been handled! Many, and it is dramatic when they are experts in court are being
manipulated, or let themselves be fooled, do not see the attacker that a victim, or are moved, by dint of
mental images entrenched, will not see the manipulation. The perverse narcissists are magicians.

Whether you are a woman or a man, you must go and if you have children, protect them. If you are a
man, do not say that judges "always leave the children to their mother" because it is false: Too often,
judges smart enough to quickly identify problems, they know that children are better with their father.
They would grant them custody ... Unfortunately, fathers do not always ask. Never forget that at the
time of divorce or separation, it is easier to get custody of children. In a second step would be difficult if
not impossible.

We must go and if we really can not leave immediately, because sometimes you can not, then you
should take away and prepare for final departure.

Help children to defend themselves. Children have the right to be represented at any age. There are no
age limits: the concept of discernment which is taken into account. Of course, there is no question that a
judge should follow the wishes of a child. Besides the load is too heavy for the child. But the child has
the right to speak before the judge. He is entitled to a free lawyer. Just write it to the judge and request
that he be given a lawyer.

What to do?

It does not make the victim a new Vestal. Let the victim understand the mechanism but it also
recognizes his faults, his weaknesses, his mistakes and make an objective assessment of his situation.
The perversity narcissistic pathology is very special that will not be recognized as not only is it not in the
nomenclature of mental disorders but mainly it is NOT a mental illness even if the attacker has the 'like a
fool; IS A LINK OF PATHOLOGY, and justice does not punish the evil because evil is not a crime.

Cons dishonesty and isolation where their perverse narcissists are victims I always thought that the
integrity and solidarity were the only answer.

In France and now in many countries, we became interested in this phenomenon. If you are a victim
grant you catch your breath, take stock, outside the power of your abuser. Indeed, under its thumb, you
will remain all too often dependent (e) or paralysis (e). When the pervert feels that his prey escapes
him, he becomes enraged.

get help. and above all know that it comes out!

 Also visit:

To top