SN Revenge of the Toilets Story D.1 Guerdat & Sullivan 06.11.07 1 1) INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY – DAY ERIC and the SUPERCHUMS are coming back in from Phys. Ed. having just played a rousing game of soccer. BUZZ GIRL points at Eric‟s hinder and giggles. Eric‟s ripped his underpants. Now everybody can see his... pants! Ha. Ha. The other Super Chums can‟t resist Tee-Hee-ing at Eric‟s costume malfunction. Mortified Eric rushes to his locker and grabs his backpack – where he always keeps a fresh pair of outer-underpants. Then Eric races off to the boys restroom to change, passing his incredibly brilliant locker mate, JERRY RIG, who carries every known tool in his various prosthetic body parts. He can‟t wait to show off his latest extra-credit science project he made from his mom‟s toaster and his braces: The Universal Translator. “Arf” comments the HUMAN DOG. “Hold that thought,” replies Jerry Rig. But when he opens the locker and reaches into “his” backpack he pulls out... Eric‟s underpants? 2) INT. SUPER HERO HIGH BOY‟S RESTROOM – MOMENTS LATER MR. SWEEP is cleaning the empty boy‟s bathroom, which means APPLIANCE is doing all the scrubbing while Mr. Sweep sits on an overturned bucket and hypothesizes his next evil albeit impossibly impractical plan. After each increasingly dopey scheme, TIDDLES rolls his eyes and makes patronizing faces – turning back to normal fish face just before Mr. Sweep catches him. Eric races in with Jerry Rig‟s backpack and heads into a stall. That‟s it for Mr. Sweep. He doesn‟t get paid enough to endure Super Kids‟ super smells. He hurries out leaving Appliance to finish up the chores. INSIDE ERIC‟S STALL: Eric takes off his torn underpants, then reaches into the backpack and pulls out a bizarre looking gadget: a crude mini-satellite dish with a microphone. Huh? As Eric fiddles with it, a COCKROACH crawls by. Through the universal translator we hear the insect speak in a high-pitched voice: “Hey, aren‟t you the guy who stepped on my cousin Morris?” Startled, Eric fumbles the universal translator, which tumbles toward the toilet bowl. As Eric tries to catch it he accidentally hits the flush handle (or W.C. pull chain) SN Revenge of the Toilets Story D.1 Guerdat & Sullivan 06.11.07 2 and KER-FLOOSH. The incredibly cutting edge science project is flushed away. 3)INT. SCHOOL PLUMBING SYSTEM – CONTINUOUS We follow the universal translator down a disgusting flume ride of aging pipes. Passing bits of garbage, fish skeletons, report cards with “F”s on them, etc. as it continues its journey into the bowels of Crumptonville. 4) INT. SEWER – MOMENTS LATER SEWER MAN, a slimy sour-looking city-worker in rubber boots, hard hat and wielding a disgusting sponge mop, is taking a lunch break from his never-ending task of cleaning the sewer. He complains to a couple of nearby rats that its been 43 years since his last holiday or even human contact. The city even flushes his paychecks to him. One of these years he‟ll figure out how to get back at all of Crumptonville! Suddenly a torrent of water from a pipe above drenches Sewer Man and the universal translator bounces off his hard hat. He picks up the strange gadget and wonders what it is. Suddenly the rats‟ voices comes out of the translator: “Can you believe this slob, eating his lunch down here?” “Yeah. Wonder if he‟s gonna finish that pita pocket?” The Sewer Man is stunned. The rats can talk! They shrug. “Well, duh.” Then an alligator waddles past through the muck. “Any of you guys know the way back up to little Petey MacGregor‟s bathroom. I think his dad accidentally flushed me down the toilet.” As the critters talk among themselves – thanks to the universal translator – Sewer Man is thrilled that he finally has some companionship, however dull. 5) INT. RESTROOM – ERIC‟S STALL – MEANWHILE Eric has enlisted Appliance to retrieve Jerry Rig‟s precious gadget from the loo. Appliance takes plunger to toilet bowl, pumping away so violently that his water cooler head starts to jiggle loose. When the robotic janitor bends over to check the toilet bowl, his water cooler pate falls off. Eric manages to catch Appliance‟s brain, but Tiddles is tossed into the toilet bowl just as SN Revenge of the Toilets Story D.1 Guerdat & Sullivan 06.11.07 3 the brainless Appliance flushes him away. KER-FLOOSH! Oops. 6) INT. SEWER – MOMENTS LATER Sewer Man is playing cards with his new pals: the rats, the alligator and some kind of mutant slime mold. Sewer Man‟s already wagered away his lunch to the snide sewer denizens. Sewer Man‟s starting to regret having found the universal translator. He asks if they have any eights. A rat tells him to “Go fish!” Suddenly <FLOOSH> Tiddles flops into Sewer Man‟s empty lunch bucket. In the voice of an effete intellectual, Tiddles expresses his rapture at his newfound freedom. Then he tells Sewer Man he might want to play the 4, rats just love to hoard 4s. Sure enough the Sewer Man wins the card game thanks to the brilliant goldfish. Tiddles is touched by the gratitude of the stinky sewer-mopper. No one‟s ever listened to his fishy wisdom before. In fact if there‟s anyone else Sewer Man would like bested, Tiddles would be more than happy to offer some of the schemes he‟s been dreaming up for years. Sewer Man beams at his new aquatic genie. As a matter of fact, he does harbor a wee grudge toward everyone in Crumptonville, he says as he‟s drenched in another flush of effluvia. Tiddles gets an evil gleam in his eye. “With my brains and your access to indoor plumbing, revenge shall be ours!” 7) INT. HALLWAY – NEXT DAY Eric‟s trying to atone for his flushing faux pas. He approaches the pet-less Appliance with a water-filled baggie from a pet store. In an effort to replace Appliance‟s beloved pet goldfish, Eric bought him two fish – really pretty ones too! But when Eric pours them into Appliance‟s water cooler head, they turn out to be Japanese Fighting Fish. As the fish battle to the death, Appliance clutches his head in pain and rolls off screaming. Then Eric crosses to Jerry Rig and apologizes for losing his locker mate‟s ground-breaking scientific achievement. Jerry Rig assures him no hard feelings. In fact the brainiac‟s already made a back-up science project out of SN Revenge of the Toilets Story D.1 Guerdat & Sullivan 06.11.07 4 his father‟s nose hair clippers and his little brother‟s baby monitor: a molecular miniaturizer ray! JERRY RIG proceeds to whip out a bizarre looking ray gun and zap Eric‟s outer-underpants - which immediately shrink into a way-too-tight thong. Ooch. Suddenly BUZZ GIRL flies out of the girl‟s restroom holding lip gloss, eye shadow, blusher etc. in her many hands. Her face is a make-up mess. Spooked, she reports that the toilets are haunted! She just overhead them plotting to take over the world! Changerella giggles at her silly friend. Toidys aren‟t evil. At least not in the girl‟s restroom. Then she marches in to prove her point. A beat later she comes rolling out as a GIANT ROLL OF TOILET PAPER – with some mysterious force in the restroom unspooling the paper off her roll. HELP! As Changerella is tugged back inside the possessed restroom, Eric and BG bravely charge in after her. But BB can‟t force himself to step foot in the girls‟ room. He just waits outside and politely offers moral support. 8) INT. GIRL‟S RESTROOM – CONTINUOUS Eric and BG rush in to find a toilet lid snapping up and down like jaws as it chomps on Changerella‟s toilet paper train. Eric and BG grab Changerella, a brief tug of war ensues, then RIIIIP! Changerella is freed. She morphs back into human form as the toilet chomps down on the last bits of tp. Then <BURPS> followed by a malevolent Tiddles- esque <CACKLE>! Suddenly from an adjacent stall, the ROVING EYE comes racing out clutching her bitten-bum. “Warn the others, it‟s not safe to squat!” As the predator toilet seat in her stall snaps away, the Superchums leap into action and head out. 9) INT./EXT. VARIOUS LOCATIONS AROUND CRUMPTONVILLE – LATER (MONTAGE) A business man sits on the toilet reading the newspaper comics. Suddenly the echo-y voice of Tiddles comments that “Garfield seems especially risible this morn.” The business man freaks and tries to get up, but the toilet SN Revenge of the Toilets Story D.1 Guerdat & Sullivan 06.11.07 5 pulls him back down bum first. He manages to escape, pants around his ankles. Inside a locker room a football team huddles in fear as a row of toilets laugh and dares them to have a seat. Ha. Ha. In an E.R.: PAN DOWN A ROW OF GURNEYS where face-down patients are having their bums bandaged. A new anchor gingerly sits on a giant pillow as he gravely reports that Crumptonville is under attack! It‟s tush versus toilet! Who will crack first? 10) INT. SEWER/CONTROL ROOM – MEANWHILE We see an elaborate series of levers and pulleys that now snake up into the pipes in the ceiling. A bank of monitors sits above a control panel, where the Sewer Man operates an array of switches. He takes his orders from Tiddles, who‟s still swimming in the lunchbox. Tiddles proclaims his ingenious plan is working to perfection! Soon no one in Crumptonville will be brave enough to go to the bathroom! But when Sewer Man throws another switch, we hear a distant <CLANG>. Hmm. What‟s that? He checks a video monitor upon which we see a low angle view of a toilet with a brass butt sitting on it. Then we hear BB‟s echo-y voice that “something feels a little tickly back there. Huh.” Tiddles tells Sewer Man it‟s time for the next step in their evil plan. To wit, Tiddles is going to deliver an edict over their World Wide Web of plumbing. Like the internet with toilets: “People of Crumptonville, except for those of you with metallic bums, if you ever want to go to the bathroom again, here are our demands...” 11) INT. VARIOUS CRUMPTONVILLE BATHROOMS – SHORT TIME LATER QUICK CUTS of CRUMPTONVILLERS listening in horror as their talking toilets command them to flush down an eclectic ransom: jewels, money, some clean clothes, microwave popcorn, maybe some fish food – flaky not the hard to nibble nuggets, an aquarium heater, and one of those bubbly pirate chest thingies, etc.,” The potty-deprived townsfolk SN Revenge of the Toilets Story D.1 Guerdat & Sullivan 06.11.07 6 begin obediently shoving the requested items down their toilets. 12) INT. BOYS BATHROOM – CONTINUOUS Appliance is helping Mr. Sweep flush ransom down the toilet, along with an autograph and a pen. Sweep has become an instant admirer of whoever this evil genius is. A toilet tax. Fool proof plan. Suddenly the autograph book comes shooting back up the toilet and smacks Sweep in the face. Tiddles‟ voice booms: “Autographs are banal. Flush me some aquarium gravel!” Appliance suddenly perks up. It‟s Tiddles! That voice has been swimming around in his head lo‟ these many years. Mr. Sweep is incredulous. How dare Appliance not tell him he‟d been in the presence of a genius fish?! Mr. Sweep scoffs at the thought. Quick to the Janitorium! He‟s going to transform into Mr. Bad so he can become the greatest super villain suck-up of all time! As the evil duo rush off, an adjacent stall door opens and Brass Butt steps out. He heard the whole thing. He races off to tell Eric and the others that there‟s an evil goldfish at the bottom of this devious plot. 13) EXT. TOWN SQUARE – MOMENTS LATER BB‟s finishing telling Eric and the Superchums what he overhead, as we see panicked Crumptonvillers in the b.g. rushing out of stores with armloads of luxury goods and heading for toilets. Eric realises it‟s all his fault. Guilt-ridden, he‟s determined to find Tiddles and the translator and undo the damage he‟s done. But how to find one evil goldfish in the massive sewer system? If only there was some way he could flush himself down a toilet. Just then he spots Jerry Rig rushing by with a laptop he made from a can of dog food and a label-maker, he‟s off to flush this offering to the evil god of the netherworld. Eric begs JERRY RIG to use his miniaturizer ray to make Eric a flush-able size. JERRY RIG doesn‟t have to be asked twice. If the world doesn‟t come to an end, his mini-Eric project should be good for an A plus in Physics! SN Revenge of the Toilets Story D.1 Guerdat & Sullivan 06.11.07 7 14) INT. SCHOOL RESTROOM – SHORT TIME LATER As Jerry Rig prepares to zap Eric into a teeny tiny guy able to navigate plumbing, BB, Changerella and BG insist on going along, too. They‟re a team. A team that really needs to go to the bathroom. And they don‟t trust fumble fingers Eric to get the job done. Changerella morphs into a submarine, the kids climb aboard, then JERRY RIG zaps them with his molecular miniaturizer. JERRY RIG warns Eric and crew that the miniaturizing process will wear off in a few minutes. So they probably want to hurry if they don‟t want their heads to get stuck in a drain pipe. Then he flushes the whole tiny lot of them down the toilet. 15) INT. SUBMARINE – H.M.S. CHANGERELLA The toilet-nauts zoom down the twisting pipes as they make their way lower and lower. 16) INT. SEWER – MOMENTS LATER The sewer has been redecorated in the style of Hillbillies who found a wallet. Priceless art work hangs on the filthy walls. Sewer Man now sports a mink coat and is bedecked with bling. His hard hat sports a tiara. Tiddles is now swimming in a designer aquarium with cute ceramic mermaids bubbling away. Mounted on top of the tank is the universal translator. Tiddles and Sewer Man are livin‟ large „neath the city. Sewer Man proclaims he‟s on top of the world down here! Suddenly <FLOOSH> Sewer Man‟s once again drenched in flush- water. The tiny Changerella submarine bounces off his head and plops into Tiddles‟ aquarium. 17) INT. CHANGERELLA SUBMARINE – CONTINUOUS Eric and crew in their mini-sub find themselves floating face to face with Tiddles. Eric announces that the “jig is up, smarty-fins!” But Tiddles smugly chuckles as he replies, “I think not, Teeny-tiny Superchums.” As he calmly orders Sewer Man to fetch the little net thingie and scoop out the uninvited aquarium guests, Eric looks out a porthole and spots the universal translator mounted above. SN Revenge of the Toilets Story D.1 Guerdat & Sullivan 06.11.07 8 Somehow they have to disable that gadget to silence the evil fish! 18) INT. SEWER – CONTINUOUS Sewer Man is trying to scoop the Changerella sub out of the tank, as Changerella desperately zips around, hiding behind the pirate‟s chest etc. Sewer Man finally scoops the sub in his net and starts to lift it out of the water. 19) INT. CHANGERELLA SUBMARINE – CONTINUOUS As the cabin rocks back and forth, BB and Eric load Buzz Girl into the torpedo tube. It‟s their only hope. They take aim and FIRE! 20) EXT. SEWER – CONTINUOUS Sewer Man holds the sub in his fish net, dangling it just above the universal translator. “What do I do with „em now,” S.M. asks Tiddles. The impatient fish starts to tell the doltish city worker how to destroy the Superchums, but too late! Buzz Girl rockets out of the mini-sub and crashes into the universal translator, shorting it out. <BZZZZT>! Tiddles‟ instructions are now reduced to “Blub blubs.” Which renders Sewer Man clueless, as he stands there holding the mini-sub in the dripping net. Suddenly <FWOOMP> the four Superchums morph back to life-size form and get the drop on the slow-witted sewer worker. Now to take the two evil doers topside for some Crumptonville justice. But Sewer Man notes that the full –sized Superchums can‟t go back up the way they came down. And they‟ll never find their way out of the labyrinth of sewer tunnels without his unique knowledge gained from four decades of underground exile. Mwah-ha-ha! Looks like the Superchums are once again at Sewer Man‟s mercy until <CREAK> a nearby door opens and Mr. Bad and Appliance roll in. Mr. Bad immediately begins fawning over Tiddles, who swims speechless in the aquarium. “I‟m such a fan, etc.,” But when Tiddles just helplessly blub-blubs, Mr. Bad yells at Appliance. This fish isn‟t smart. It‟s just a fish! SN Revenge of the Toilets Story D.1 Guerdat & Sullivan 06.11.07 9 Mr. Bad figures it must be Sewer Man who‟s the evil genius. But when Mr. Bad asks him for some villainous pointers, Sewer Man can only gaze dumbfounded at the door and utter, ”You mean I coulda just walked outta here the whole time?” Just then we hear an ominous KER-FLOOSH and everyone sprints out the door (and into the school basement), including Appliance who happily pours his old buddy Tiddles back into his water cooler head. But before Sewer Man can get out, Eric slams the door shut on him. KERFLOOSH Sewer Man‟s once again drenched in slime he‟s accustomed to. We hear the echo-y voice of the Roving Eye announce it‟s once again safe to use the restrooms. Then a cheer. Followed by a myriad of toilet Ker-Flooshes echoing from above. As Sewer Man opens an umbrella and prepares to accept his fate... FADE OUT.