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REJECTS

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					   REJECTS



     By

Peter Pascoal
                            ―REJECTS‖

EXT. COLLEGE CAMPUS – DAY

A very pretty COLLEGE GIRL in her early 20s stands face to
face with PETER, a college guy roughly the same age. PETER
stares blankly at her while she talks to him.

                      COLLEGE GIRL
         Look, Peter, I‘m flattered.
         Really. I‘m just not looking for
         a boyfriend right now. You
         understand, right? I‘ve got
         enough on my plate as it is. I‘m
         trying to focus on my studies, and
         I‘ve got a full-time job, and I
         can‘t have any distractions…

PETER‘s attention begins to wane. He stares at her mouth,
watching her lips move. He doesn‘t seem to hear the words
coming out.

(COLLEGE GIRL‘s voice starts fading)

                      COLLEGE GIRL
         Besides, I have to find someone
         that I‘m attracted to, and I‘m
         just not attracted to you. No
         offense, but I need a guy who can
         take care of himself, and…

(COLLEGE GIRL‘s voice becomes too muted and unintelligible)

PETER‘s gaze moves slowly from her face down to her chest.
His eyes focus on her breasts. He continues to stare,
mesmerized, oblivious to what COLLEGE GIRL is saying.

INT. HOUSE – LIVING ROOM - DAY

PETER and his roommates, JOSH and GLEN (both in their early
20s), sit on their couch, playing video games. PETER‘s
right cheek is bright red with a handprint clearly showing.
He repositions himself on the couch, trying to get
comfortable. All three talk to each other, but don‘t
bother looking, too wrapped up in the video game they‘re
playing.
                      PETER
         … Next thing I know, she‘s
         slapping me in the face and
         yelling all kinds of obscenities.
         Talk about rude!

                      GLEN
         Maybe she was trying to wipe the
         drool from your mouth.

                      PETER
         She said I was ―too cocky.‖ What
         the hell is she, a lesbian?!

GLEN stops playing. He looks at PETER, as if to say
something, but instead shakes his head and sighs.

                       GLEN
         Never mind.    I need a drink.

                      JOSH
         Grab me one, too.

GLEN gets up and walks off.   PETER and JOSH continue to
play.

                      PETER
         You know what, Josh?    Girls suck.

                      JOSH
         You‘re just mad because they
         aren‘t sucking you.

A can of soda suddenly flies through the air and hits JOSH
in the head, knocking him over. GLEN returns with a can of
diet soda in his hand and sits down on the couch. PETER
readjusts himself again and tries to get comfortable. He
sets the controller down and turns to GLEN. The two ignore
JOSH, who‘s on the ground writhing in pain.

                      GLEN
         Anything else?
                      PETER
         She said something about being ―an
         immature pervert‖ and crap. I
         don‘t know; her boobs were
         bouncing a lot.

                      GLEN
         So what did you do?

                      PETER
         I called her a stupid whore and
         she ran off crying.

GLEN slowly places his hand to his forehead and shakes his
head once more. JOSH sits up again and rubs his head where
the soda can hit it. PETER continues to reposition
himself, uncomfortable.

                      JOSH
         Brilliant move, Romeo.

                      GLEN
         You‘re not helping, Josh.

                      JOSH
         He‘s not helping himself, Glen.

                      PETER
                 (to GLEN)
         He‘s right.

PETER finally reaches between the cushions in the couch and
pulls out a stuffed donkey toy. He throws the stuffed
animal across the room and gets up, frustrated.

                      PETER
         I mean, look at me. I‘m sitting
         around on my ass all day. I don‘t
         do anything productive.

PETER walks over to a window and looks outside, depressed.

(a single violin plays a sad tune)

GLEN and JOSH look around the room, confused as to where
the music is coming from.
                      PETER
         I don‘t want to be single anymore.
         A life without women, without
         breasts… How‘s it possible? It‘s
         just not worth living! I need to
         change if I‘m ever going to get
         some.

                      GLEN
         So what are you going to do?

PETER turns back to face his roommates, a determined look
upon his face.

                      PETER
         I‘ve decided. I‘m going on a
         diet.

(the violin screeches to a halt)

GLEN looks at PETER, bewildered.

                      GLEN
         I‘m sorry, what?!

                      PETER
         I figure it‘s easier to change
         myself physically than to change
         my behavior. Physical attraction
         always wins out over brains, and
         besides, I could lose a few
         pounds.

                      GLEN
         You know, Peter, some girls
         actually care about a guy‘s
         personality, believe it or not.

                      PETER
         Yeah, but those are the ugly ones.

                      JOSH
         And Peter‘s insight shines through
         once more.
PETER looks at JOSH, hurt, and leaves the room. While he
leaves, GLEN reaches over and smacks JOSH in the back of
the head.

                       JOSH
         Ow!   What the hell was that for?!

                      GLEN
         You know, for all your talk about
         Peter‘s attitude, you‘re not
         acting any better.

JOSH scoffs and turns to look back at the game.

                      JOSH
         Please, I‘m perfectly fine.

                      GLEN
         You‘re neither perfect, nor fine.

                      JOSH
         Well I know I‘m better than Peter!
         I could be good if I wanted to.

It‘s GLEN‘s turn to scoff.

                      GLEN
         Wanna bet?

                      JOSH
         Name the stakes.

GLEN looks at JOSH, confused.

                      GLEN
         What?

                      JOSH
         You heard me.

GLEN slowly grins in understanding.

                      GLEN
         A Nintendo Wii.

                      JOSH
         What?
                      GLEN
         You heard me.

JOSH ponders it for a moment, then shrugs.

                      JOSH
         You‘re on. Winner has to buy it
         for the house.

The two roommates shake hands.

INT. HOUSE – KITCHEN – NEXT MORNING

SERIES OF SHOTS – MAKING BREAKFAST

A) Cereal is poured into a bowl on the kitchen table. A
few pieces of cereal hit the table, but aren‘t cleaned up.

B) The cereal box is placed on the table.

C) The refrigerator door opens and the milk is grabbed.

D) Milk is poured carelessly into the bowl.

E) The refrigerator door is closed with the milk inside.

F) A spoon is quickly placed in the bowl.

G) GLEN sits down at the table.   The bowl of cereal is in
front of him.

GLEN begins eating. PETER enters and happily sips a soda,
using a strip of Red Vine candy as a straw.

                       GLEN
         Morning.

PETER laughs and sits down next to him.

                      PETER
         I‘m not that depressed, Glen.

GLEN‘s brows furrow in confusion. He opens his mouth,
about to speak, then shakes his head and sighs.

                       GLEN
         Never mind.
PETER munches on the Red Vine and sips more soda.

                      GLEN
         What happened to the diet?

                      PETER
         It just so happens, Glen, that
         these are fat-free. I‘m surprised
         you didn‘t know that.

JOSH enters the kitchen from the hallway.

                      JOSH
         Your brain must be wrinkle-free if
         you believe they‘re healthy for
         you.

                      PETER
         Well, I try to keep my brain as
         wrinkle-free as possible to retain
         its youth. Allow me to enlighten
         you. I know it might not make
         sense to someone as feeble-minded
         as yourself, but…

PETER makes quotation mark gestures with his hands. He
speaks slowly and loudly, as if speaking to a toddler.

                      PETER
         … ―Fat-free‖ means ―free of fat.‖

JOSH ignores him and exits to the pantry.    PETER turns his
attention back to GLEN.

                      PETER
         If I just eat candy like this, I‘m
         gold! Not in the literal sense –
         although that would be pretty
         sweet – but more in the ―Now-I-
         can-totally-bang-chicks‖ sense.

JOSH enters from the pantry, carrying a box of Jell-O
gelatin powder. He makes his way to the front door. PETER
stands up and moves to block his way. He blows the stub of
his Red Vine as if it were a whistle, but the candy doesn‘t
make any noise. Instead, spit flies out and hits JOSH in
the face. He calmly wipes the spit off.
                      JOSH
         That‘s strike one.

PETER speaks with the Red Vine still in his mouth.

                     PETER
         Woah, woah. Where are you going
         with that?

                      JOSH
         I‘m making myself a better
         citizen.

                      PETER
         Citizenship takes second place to
         my gut, and my gut tells me that
         the Jell-O you hold is fat-free,
         so I need it.

                      JOSH
         Sorry, this Jell-O is taking part
         in phase one of my ―Good Deeds‖
         plan.

                      GLEN
         ―Good Deeds‖ plan?

                      JOSH
         Yeah. There‘s a lot of homeless
         out on the streets, so I thought
         I‘d just send this over and feed
         it to the hungry…

GLEN starts chuckling and almost chokes on his cereal.
JOSH smiles at GLEN.

                      JOSH
         … And win a Nintendo Wii in the
         process.

PETER spits the Red Vine into JOSH‘s face in disbelief.

                      PETER
         The homeless are getting Wiis
         now?!

JOSH calmly wipes his face.
                      JOSH
         That‘s strike two.

                      GLEN
         You‘re giving the hungry some
         Jell-O? Are you evil naturally,
         or did it require years of
         training?

                      JOSH
         What are you talking about?

                      GLEN
         Jell-O isn‘t a meal. It‘s a
         mirage in tangible, fruit-flavored
         form; you‘re giving them the
         promise of food, but not the
         satisfaction that comes afterward.

GLEN laughs bitterly.

                      GLEN
         ―Good deed?‖ More like ―cruel and
         unusual punishment.‖

PETER talks with a mouth full of candy.

                      PETER
         He just called you ―cruel and
         unusual,‖ Josh! You gonna take
         that?

                      JOSH
         No, but I‘ll take a Nintendo Wii
         at the Game Shop, Glen.

                      GLEN
         What makes you so certain that
         you‘ll succeed?

JOSH shrugs, irritated.

                      JOSH
         I guess we‘ll find out by this
         afternoon. Meet me at the shop by
         3:30 and we‘ll get this settled.
                      GLEN
         Do the homeless and hungry even
         have a way to prepare Jell-O?

JOSH speaks loudly in annoyance.

                      JOSH
         If they can open all those cans of
         vegetables, then I‘m sure they can
         make some freakin‘ Jell-O!

JOSH starts to leave again, but PETER moves himself in
JOSH‘s way again. PETER opens his mouth, about to speak.

                      JOSH
         Don‘t make this strike three,
         Peter.

PETER hesitates, then gives JOSH a hug and steps aside.

                      PETER
         I was just going to give you a
         proper send off, that‘s all! God
         speed!

INT. GAME STORE – DAY

GLEN walks around the store and checks his watch.

INSERT – WRIST WATCH, reading 3:49pm.

BACK TO GAME STORE

GLEN sighs and looks around the shop. Video games line the
shelves and walls. He sees a lone store CLERK standing
behind the counter, looking somewhat stoned. Behind the
counter are a bunch of Nintendo Wii console boxes. GLEN
approaches him.

                        GLEN
         Hi.

CLERK looks around nervously.

                      CLERK
         Nah, not today man!    I‘m clean!   I
         swear--
                      GLEN
         No, no, I just wanted to know if
         you had any Wiis—

CLERK freaks out even more.

                      CLERK
         I told you, man! No weed!      I
         don‘t sell that stuff!

                      GLEN
         Calm down, I just—

                      CLERK
         I don‘t use it! I don‘t even know
         what it is! It‘s like gardening,
         right? No gardens here, man! We
         cool, right?

                      GLEN
         The Nintendo Wii.     The console!

                        CLERK
         Ohhh!    The Nintendo Wii!

                       GLEN
         Yeah.

CLERK laughs, relieved.

                      CLERK
         Oh, okay, man. Cool, cool.

                       GLEN
         Right.

GLEN waits, but the CLERK stands still and continues to
smile at him.

                      GLEN
         So… do you have it?

                      CLERK
         We ain‘t got nothin‘, man. None
         of those, man. They all sold out.
                      GLEN
         Then what are those?

GLEN points to the stacks of boxes of Nintendo Wii consoles
behind the counter.

                      CLERK
         Oh, those are just empty, man.     We
         use ‗em for display.

                      GLEN
         Why are boxes on display?

                      CLERK
         Oh, you know, man… to show our
         customers we got ‗em.

                      GLEN
         But you just told me you don‘t
         ―got ‗em.‖

                         CLERK
         Yeah, man.     Exactly.

GLEN smiles and nods politely.     The CLERK smiles back.

                     GLEN
         Oh, okay. It all makes perfect
         sense now. Thanks for telling me.

                      CLERK
         That‘s what I‘m here for.

(sound of JOSH screaming, with other shouts heard in the
distance)

                        GLEN
         Josh?

EXT. GAME STORE – DAY

JOSH dashes down the street. He‘s covered in Jell-O and
flailing his arms about frantically. He runs past the
store, but doubles back when he notices GLEN inside. He
grabs the door and pushes on the handle, desperately trying
to enter the store. The door doesn‘t budge. He screams in
a panic and looks down at the door handle.
INSERT – DOOR HANDLE, with a label that says ―PULL.‖

INT. GAME STORE - DAY

JOSH pulls the door handle. It opens and he quickly darts
inside and hides behind a display in the store window.
GLEN opens his mouth, about to say something, but JOSH
motions and shushes him immediately. The CLERK, oblivious
to what‘s going on, starts to speak, but JOSH silences him
as well. All three stand completely still as the shouts
grow louder and louder. Shortly after, a group of homeless
men and women are seen running down the street, yelling and
shouting. They pass the store without noticing JOSH.

(shouts die out)

                      GLEN
         So I‘m guessing the Jell-O didn‘t
         work out?

JOSH tries to wipe the Jell-O off his clothes.

                      JOSH
         You know what really irks me?
         They make it, and then they dump
         it on me.

                      GLEN
         They hated it that much?

                      JOSH
         Well, one guy liked it.

                      GLEN
         That‘s good, I guess.

                      JOSH
         Not really. He only wanted some
         once it was all over my body.

                      GLEN
         That‘s disturbing.

GLEN watches in amusement as JOSH pulls out a comb and
tries to use the Jell-O on his head like hair gel.
                      GLEN
         Well, I hate to say ―I told you
         so…‖ but I don‘t. At least you
         weren‘t stoned to death--

                      CLERK
         For the last time, man, I‘m clean!
         I swear!

INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY

PETER sits on the couch and eats Gummi Bears candy. There
are candy wrappers and soda cans all around him. His belly
looks slightly bloated. GLEN enters through the front
door. He walks over to PETER while PETER rummages through
the trash around himself for another bag of candy.

                      GLEN
         Well, this day has been pretty
         unproductive.

                      PETER
         That‘s all a matter of
         perspective. I‘ve been highly
         successful with my diet.

GLEN pokes PETER‘s protruding gut, but PETER doesn‘t notice
or feel it.

                      GLEN
         Doesn‘t look like it.

GLEN sits down next to PETER.

                      PETER
         Again, it‘s all a matter of
         perspective. I‘m telling you,
         this sweets diet is the greatest
         idea I‘ve--

PETER pauses, then belches loudly.   He lightly presses his
chest and winces slightly in pain.

                      PETER
         Ah, more room!

PETER grabs another few gummi bears and stuffs them in his
mouth.
                      PETER
         I should market my strategy. You
         know, before I die, so I could
         reap the rewards of my genius.

                      GLEN
         Good idea. At this rate, your
         death won‘t be very far away.

PETER holds a gummi bear in one hand and pinches its sides
between his thumb and index finger. He then uses his other
hand‘s thumb and index finger to pinch the bear‘s top and
bottom. He repeats this over and over, alternating.

                       PETER
         Look!   It‘s dancing!

                      GLEN
         You‘re very sad.

PETER drinks a can of soda.

                      PETER
         You know, eating all these sweets
         is tiring. It‘s kind of like a
         workout.

                      GLEN
         The irony burns almost as much as
         your heart will.

INT. CHURCH – EVENING

JOSH is at his evening mass. He sits at the far end of a
pew. Various people surround him. They either listen to
the PRIEST or pray. JOSH talks softly to an OLD WOMAN
sitting next to him.

                      JOSH
         I mean, I don‘t get it! Jell-O is
         a wonderful snack. The homeless
         shelter doesn‘t understand. And
         the homeless people, too. And
         that random old woman on the
         street who decided that I should
         be her own personal punching bag.
         Honestly, I don‘t even think she
         knew about the whole thing.
The OLD WOMAN looks at JOSH like he‘s crazy, then scoots
away from him and goes back to praying.

                      JOSH
         I was just trying to give the
         needy something a little
         different!

The OLD WOMAN ignores him.   JOSH takes the hint, closes his
eyes and prays as well.

                      JOSH
         Come on, God. Help me get that
         Nintendo Wii. I‘m your loyal
         follower; Glen doesn‘t even
         believe in you! So what can I do?
         Give me a sign or something!

                      PRIEST (O.S.)
         It‘s now time for the offering.
         If you would like to donate to the
         church and you have money to give,
         know that God will forever
         acknowledge your actions and you
         will always be loved.

JOSH looks up towards heaven.

                      JOSH
         You‘re awesome.

JOSH reaches down into his wallet and pulls it out of his
pocket.

INSERT – Wallet, with a lone $20 bill inside.

                      JOSH
         Crap.

BACK TO CHURCH

JOSH scoots over next to the OLD WOMAN and taps her on the
shoulder.
                      JOSH
         Excuse me, but do you have change
         for a twenty? I need to pay for
         the bus.

The OLD WOMAN looks at him, irritated, then ignores him and
goes back to praying. JOSH notices the offering basket
coming his way. He quickly asks those behind him if they
have change for a twenty, but they all respond with blank
stares and attempts to ignore him. The offering basket
gets to JOSH. He places the twenty dollar bill in the
basket, then reaches in and pulls out two dollars. The
middle-aged LADY in charge of the offering basket sees him.

                      LADY
         What are you doing?!

                      JOSH
         I just need some money for bus
         fare.

                      LADY
         Did you grab money from the
         offering basket?!

                      JOSH
         I only took back two dollars.

                      LADY
         This isn‘t a bank! You‘re not
         supposed to steal from the church!

JOSH raises his voice to normal levels, indignant.

                      JOSH
         I didn‘t steal. I put in a
         twenty!

Another CHURCH-GOER intervenes.

                      CHURCH-GOER
         What‘s going on?

                      LADY
         This thief took money from the
         offering basket!
                      JOSH
         I did not!

CHURCH-GOER looks down on JOSH.   He snatches the two
dollars out of JOSH‘s hand.

                      CHURCH-GOER
         Shame on you, young man. This
         goes to the church, where it
         belongs.

JOSH stands up and grabs the bills in CHURCH-GOER‘s hand.
JOSH starts to pry it out.

                      JOSH
               (loudly)
         Like hell it is!

Other church-goers around JOSH gasp. JOSH and CHURCH-GOER
vie for control of the bills, while the onlookers begin
shouting at JOSH. Some people try to pull JOSH away.

EXT. GAME STORE – MORNING

JOSH, PETER and GLEN are all standing in line at the Game
Store. PETER is holding a bag of Gummi Bears and looks
queasy, yet he continues to slowly eat the candy.

                      JOSH
         … Then the bills tore in half, and
         I was asked to leave the church
         for the day.

                      GLEN
         Wow.

                      JOSH
         Yeah, they didn‘t seem to like it
         when I damned the offering basket
         out loud.

                      GLEN
         Those damn charities, always
         screwing us over.
                      JOSH
         The crappy part is I forgot I had
         an extra couple bucks in my back
         pocket.

JOSH shivers and blows on his hands to keep warm.

                      GLEN
         Well, thanks for trying to get me
         the Wii.

                      JOSH
         No problem, as long as you guys
         were willing to wait in line with
         me.

                      GLEN
         I‘m willing but I‘m not so sure
         that Peter‘s gonna make it. You
         alright, Peter?

PETER doesn‘t respond.    He continues to chew a Gummi Bear
in his mouth.

                      JOSH
         I think he‘s incapacitated from
         the sugar.

                      GLEN
         Or saturated.

                         JOSH AND GLEN
         Or both.

The doors to the store open and JOSH makes his way inside.
GLEN and PETER wait outside. Shortly after JOSH goes in,
PETER doubles over and vomits onto the concrete.

                      GLEN
         That‘s colorful. Kind of like a
         Jackson Pollock painting.

PETER gets back up.

                         PETER
         Glen…
                      GLEN
         Yeah?

PETER stifles another vomit, then turns to GLEN.

                       PETER
         Glen!   I have an announcement to
         make.

                      GLEN
         Yeah, what is it?

                      PETER
         This whole diet thing… it was
         stupid… I know I told you it was
         going fine, but I lied! I was
         just getting sicker and sicker the
         entire day. I‘m… sorry I made you
         think otherwise.

GLEN smiles and gently pats PETER‘s shoulder.

                      GLEN
         You sure had me fooled, man.
         Thanks for telling me the truth.

JOSH exits the store, carrying a Nintendo Wii. He walks up
to the two of them while PETER continues to talk.

                      PETER
         You know what the worst part of
         all this was? I did it for some
         girl. And for what? Nothing. I
         didn‘t get anything out of this
         other than a—

PETER pauses, then doubles over and throws up again.

                      JOSH
         Aw, gross! It‘s like a Jackson
         Pollock painting!

PETER stands back up, a little wobbly.
                      PETER
         Well I‘m not stupid. I learned
         something today. You shouldn‘t
         try to be something you‘re not.
         That‘s why I‘m quitting this
         stupid diet!

                      GLEN
         What about being ―cocky‖ and
         preying on girls?

                      PETER
         I‘m not changing anything! I‘m
         cocky because I‘m a man, and every
         man has one!

GLEN sighs and shakes his head.   JOSH gives GLEN a friendly
nudge.

                      JOSH
         So, Glen, I was thinking. Would
         you agree that it‘s wrong for
         someone to try to make someone
         else act different?

GLEN raises an eyebrow.

                       GLEN
         Yeah, but--

                      JOSH
         So, technically, this whole bet
         should be declared null and void.
         I‘ve decided to keep the Wii for
         myself.

                      GLEN
         Wait, what the hell?!

JOSH runs off toward the car. GLEN turns back toward
PETER, who stares off into space and still feels queasy.
                      GLEN
         You know, you should do things for
         yourself, but that doesn‘t mean
         you should stick to your old
         behavior, like Josh. Don‘t ignore
         the constructive criticisms of
         others. Contrary to popular
         belief, ignorance is not bliss.
         Continuous self-improvement is
         always beneficial to achieve your
         goals, especially since the ladies
         adore a guy who recognizes his own
         faults and strives to eradicate--

PETER turns to GLEN.

                      PETER
         Were you saying something?

                                              FADE OUT

				
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