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the family


									The Family and Marriage

We need to understand God’s plan for the family.
It’s importance in the life of every human being.


We as God’s children should be able to explain the biblical foundation of the origin of
the family.
We should be able to explain the importance of the family.

God’s plan for the family

The world is full of families. Some begin, others growing and maturing and others
being destroyed. In the bible we find many families beginning with Adam and Eve.

Genesis 1:28

show that marriage was the first institution created by God.

How did God plan the family?
He chose a couple
Gen 1:26-27

He united them in marriage.

Gen 1:28-29

He gave rules for marriage.

Genesis 1:28-29
Genesis 2:24-25
Matt 19:6


Leaving ones family
Being joined in marriage

The importance of the family
A person’s success or failure in their adult life has something to do with their past-
parental home.

Parents separated
Being ill-treated
Raped by Father
Raped as a child
Single family
Broken family

What should one find in the family?

   -   Affection between parents

Song of Solomon 8:7 love is the ingredient

Many waters cannot quench love,
Rivers cannot wash it away
If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love
It would be utterly scorned

If one----Scorned
Declaring love’s unsurpassed worth.

If the and wife become “one flesh” than for the man to love his wife is to love one
who has become part of himself.
Out of love----comes respect.

Col. 3:19

   -   Affections towards children

Titus 2:4

   -   Moral and spiritual direction


Bring them up in training and instruction of the Lord.
Not to act unreasonably towards your children
   -   Correction

Proverbs 13:24

Parent are encouraged to apply the rod of punishment, to drive out folly (22:15) so
that the child will not follow the path of destruction.
Discipline rooted in love. Rod is a figure of speech-for discipline of any kind. You
must do it in the attitude of love and patience.
Prov. 19:18
It is necessary part of nurturing spiritual development you need to talk, communicate
and explain.

   -   Instruction


Train up has the idea of a parent graciously investing in a child (time) whatever
wisdom, love, nurture and discipline needed for the upbringing of the child, for the
child to become fully committed to God.

Duet: 31:13

   -   Provisions of needs

2 Cor. 12: 14

   -   Guidance in God’s way

Prov. 22:6

What do we find in present day families?

   -   Bad examples

1 king 22:52

He (son of Ahab) did evil in the sight of God and walked in the ways of the Father.

Read 1 king 16:29-33 about Ahab and Jezebel

   -   Bad influences

Matt 14:8

Herod has seduced Herodias, who was his niece and wife of his brother Phillip. Then
persuaded her to divorce her husband and marry him.

Read Matt 14:3- 8
Prompted by the mum
Prompted to do anything to please the mum?—to be prostitute-for the sake of money.

   -   excessive tolerance

1 Samuel 3:12-13

The boy Samuel ministered before the Lord under Eli. One day Samuel was lying in
the temple in his usual place. Then the Lord spoke to Samuel.
Samuel said here I am and ran to Eli.
But Eli said I id not call, go back and lie down.
So he went and lay down.
Again the Lord called “Samuel”
Samuel got up and went to Eli and said, “Here I am”
Eli said, I did not call, go back and lie down.
Now Samuel did not know he Lord. The word of the Lord had not been revealed to
him yet.
The Lord came to Samuel the third time.
Samuel got up and went to Eli.
Then Eli told Samuel to go and lie down, if he calls, say, speak Lord for your servant
is listening.

The family is part of God’s plan for humanity. He created the family at the same time
he created humankind.

We should understand what the duties of each member of the family.
We must understand the duties of the father of the family.
We must understand the duties of the mother of the family.
We must understand the duties of the children.

   -   Father

As husband and father he is the head of the family.

A father guided by God has different characteristics from those of the world.

   -   Fathers love expressed by words, touch, attitudes

2 Samuel 12:16
David has committed adultery with Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba and she became
pregnant. God send Nathan the prophet, the messenger of God, to tell David what he
did was wrong, because David plotted Uriah’s death, so that he could marry
After Nathan has gone home the Lord struck the child Uriah’s wife had borne to
David and he became very ill.
David pleads with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the
night lying on the ground.
    - David King
    -   Lying on the ground
    -   Fasted
    -   Asked for mercy
    -   Pleaded with God

Mark 5: 22-23

Begging Jesus earnestly to heal his child

    -   Father’s life should always serve as an inspiration and challenge to our lives

David was a challenge and inspiration to Solomon.

1 king 9:4

Lord appears to Solomon, when Solomon has finished building the temple of the
Verse 4
The lord re-emphasis the importance of obedience
To walk before God in uprightness as David his Father did
To observe God’s decrees and laws

1 Thessalonians: 2:11-12

Paul preaching and teaching at Thessalonica
He taught them how to please God (4:1-2)
He explained believers could expect suffering (4:1-2), 3:6


Parent’s responsibility to raise children in God’s way
God holds parents responsible for the upbringing of the children, not grandparents,
not schools, not state. Although each of these may influence the children, the final
duty rests with parents and particularly the father, whom God has appointed as head
to lead and serve the family.

Two things is necessary for proper teaching of the children:-
  1. Right attitude
  2. And a right foundation

Not to be critical, unrealistic, sarcastic, intimidation and fear, all these will provoke a
child to wrath.
The alternative would be an atmosphere rich in encouragement, patience, listening,
affection and love.
In such atmosphere parents can build into the lives of their children, the precious
foundation and the knowledge of God.

   -   Provider

1Timothy: 5:8

-a person who does not provide for his own family, fails to live up to the principles of

The Mother

Isa 49:15

“Can a woman forget her nursing child and not have compassion on the son of her

….admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children
Titus 2:4

These include providing a proper example for the young women, teaching them
Christian character and domestic responsibilities.

Read verse 5-8

Mothers can give ethical instruction to younger women and also instruct them to love
their husband and children.
To be self controlled and pure
To be busy at home
To be kind

   -   Mother is a role model for spiritual life

1 Samuel 2: 19

Hannah made a vow that if God would give her a male child, then she will give him to
the Lord all the days of her life (1 Sam. 2:11)
Hannah gives birth to a son and keeps her vow

Read verse 27-28
Hannah wanted her son be brought up in god’s ways

2 Timothy 1:5

Paul is writing to Timothy and saying I have been reminded of your sincere faith,
which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice. I am persuaded
now lives in you.
A Christian upbringing
And a spiritual family atmosphere
Timothy’s mother Eunice and grandmother communicated their faith to Timothy

   -   Making the house into a home


“She watches over the ways of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness”.

Following are duties that both parents should share:
    - Times of family prayer
    - Discussion
    - Correction
    - Decision making

   -   The children

It is important to understand that children are a gift of God

The role of children

   -   to give joy to parents

Proverbs: 10:1

A wise son makes a glad father,
But foolish son is the grief of his mother

Both the gladness and grief are felt by both parents#

   -   To care for the mother in the old age

Proverbs: 23:22

Listen to your father who begot you, and do not despise your mother when she is old

Prov. 28:24

Children are expected to take care of their parents when they are sick or elderly (Isa:
51:18). Robbing them (Judges: 17:1-2) and attacking them are serious crimes
(Exod.21:15, 17)

   -   To honour and obey your parents

Mark 7:10
For Mosses said, “Honour your father and your mother; and, “He who curses father or
mother, let him be put to death”.

Eph. 6: 1-3

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.2 Honour your father and
mother, “which is the first commandment with promise. 3 “that it may be well with
you and you may live long on the earth”.

   -   To respect them

Look for scripture

A time of ministry, wounds caused by parents who have not fulfilled the


The purpose of life

-As a woman you should recognise you own value and how much you are worth in -
God’s eyes
-how uniquely she was created

Biblical foundation

Genesis 1:27-28
Luke 1:30-31
Psalm 139:14

God took special care when he created the women

Physical appearance- the external

Song of Solomon 7:1-9

Soul- the emotions, thoughts, talents
   - Emotions-Joy Prov. 31:25
“Shout and be glad, O daughter of Zion”

   -   Prudence


Houses and wealth are inherited from parents but a prudent wife is from the Lord”.
A prudent wife brings joy and honour to her husband. She receives favour from the

Lord. She is a woman of noble character Ps. 31:10-31

- Peace Phil.4:6-7

Everything in prayer and petition

-Christ’s mind

Phil. 2:5

Your attitude should be the same as that of Jesus, the attitude of self sacrificing

humility and love for others.



Judges 4:4

“Deborah, a prophetess, the wife of Lappidoth, was leading Israel at that time”.

Prayer and fasting

Esther 4:16

Esther was a Jewish often raised by her cousin Mordecai. She became Queen. Haman

sought to destroy all the Jews. When Esther heard this she Read 4:16

Esther a woman of prayer

She inquired of God

She believed God, not her beauty, had put her to throne.

We see her respect for the power of prayer and fasting

She recognised the reality of the spiritual realm

If I perish, I perish


Esther had the boldness to into the presence of the king without being called.
Esther 5:1

Read Esther 4:11



Chosen generation

1 Peter 2:9

God created the woman with specific purpose:

Life- through the woman is life conceived

Multiplication (Psalm 128:6) “Yes you may see your children’s children

Only after the woman was created did God give the blessing of multiplication to

human kind (Gen. 28:2-3)

Do you now understand that it is not chance that you have been created; God made

you with careful thought in every detail.

Go into group and answer this question why you are created.

Make a list of your qualities in spiritual, emotional and physical areas

God values women

Each of you must be aware of your worth and value in God’s eyes.


Every woman should know the qualities given to her by God

Every woman should understand the way God sees her

Biblical foundation
Ps. 103: 4

“Who redeems your life from destruction and

Who crowns us with love and compassion”.

A woman has a special worth to God:

She finds favour God’s sight (Luke 1:30)

She is a channel of blessing (Luke 1:31a)

She has great worth (Isa. 43:40)

“Since you were precious in my sight,

You have been honoured,

And I have loved you”

She receives and protection from God (Isa 62:4)

And your land will be married means your relationship with the Lord will be


She is accepted by God Eph. 1:6

The woman has a special grace in God in God’s eyes

Developing your character

Make a list of the negative things you feel about yourself


To recognise the qualities with which you have been blessed as a woman

To recognise how these qualities bless others around you

Every woman should know the virtues of a woman of God

She should be able to identify aspects of her character where improvement and

development is needed

Identify ways in which these improvements can take place.

Biblical foundation


   1. Virtues given to a woman by God

   -   beauty ( Song of Solomon 4:1)

   -   trustworthy

   -   hard worker

   -   diligent

   -   wise administrator

   -   generous

   -   looking after the family

   -   honour the husband

   -   with integrity

   -   wise and prudent

   -   unique

   -   fear of God

   -   faithful

   -   excellence

   2. Our lives do not always display all these qualities. Difficulties arise due to
   -   A feeling of inferiority. QA discrepancy between the way God sees you and

       the way you see yourself

   -   Intellectual assent, but no heart conviction of truth

   -   Bitterness

   -   Lack of forgiveness Matt 6:12

   -   Oppression

   -   Being critical

   -   Being negative

   -   Taking control rather than allowing God to be in control

   -   Wrong attitude

How do you correct them?

By allowing God to heal your wounds (Isa.54:11; Isa. 61:1-3)

To grow to your fullness (fear and rejection doesn’t allow you to grow in fullness).

You need to reach a place where the decision is made to conquer fear and rejection in

order for you to live the life that God has for you.


To be able to make an effective self-evaluation and to be able to identify areas of fear

and rejection

Each of you must reach the place where they allow the process of healing to take

place in their own lives

- Forgiveness

Biblical foundation

Psalm: 27:10
“When my father and mother forsake me,

Then the Lord will take care of me”

Isa. 35:4

“Say to those who are fearful hearted,

Be strong, do not fear

Behold, your God will come with vengeance

With the recompense of God

He will come and save you”

Things that stop growth:

   1. Insecurity: Not trusting God in all circumstances leaning on your own ability

       will lead you into doubt and fear. This will also bring:

   a) failure ( Rom.8:37)

   b) lack of provision ( Luke 12:29)

   c) Loneliness (Isa. 54:5)

   2. Shame (Isa. 62:4)

Areas to develop in order to grow:

   a) Self-forgiveness (Isa.43:18)

   b) Forgive the others

   c) Self acceptance (Gal.2:20)

   d) Joy ( 1 Thessalonians: 5:16)

   e) Renewing our thoughts (Rom 12:2) We do not live according to this world
   f) Giving our anxiety to God ( 1 Peter 5:7)

   g) Give to others what you have received

In order to develop a full productive life, it is necessary to face your fear and rejection

and caste them out. Healing comes through giving and receiving forgiveness and

renewing your mind.

h) Thank God for being a woman

We must experience a profound gratitude towards God for making her a woman.


A woman must understand that god has a perfect plan for her.

She must understand that this plan could not be perfect if she was not a woman.

Biblical foundation


For he chooses us before creation of the world, to be holy and blameless in his sight,

In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance

with his pleasure and will- to the praise of his glorious grace, which he freely given us

in the one he loves.

   -   God has chosen us

   -   He chose us

   -   Before the creation of the world

   -   To be holy and blameless

   -   Adopted us his sons

   -   In accordance with his pleasure and will

   -   To the praise of his glorious grace

   -   Which he has freely given us in the one he loves
From the beginning God determined who you would be

There is a unique plan for everyone

We are called to be helpers

Look forward to a successful time, because this is god’s time for women.

In groups explain the special place you have as a woman

(What are your dreams, your goals and your plans in the different areas of your life?)

The family is on the heart of God

Women must understand the value God places on the family


We need to identify the meaning and significance of God’s covenant with Noah

We should be able to explain the blessings from God to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob

Biblical foundation



“I will bless those who bless you

I will curse those who curse you,

And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed”.

Genesis 28: 14

“Also your descendents shall be as the dust of the earth;

You shall spread abroad to the west and the east, to the north and the south;

And in you and your seed all the families will be blessed
Jacob was the third generation to receive the promises of Abrahams covenant, not

because he was righteous, it’s because of God’s call and faithfulness to Abraham

Read Gal.3:6-9

Gal 3:26-29

Let look at God’s covenant with Noah

Genesis 6:18: 7:1, 9:1

Those you want to see in the ark

   -   Yourself

   -   Your children

   -   Your husband

   -   Your relatives

The blessing of Noah

Gen. 9:1

“Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth”

Requirements to receive the blessing

   -   to be just

   -   Integrity

   -   Righteous
The blessings of Abraham

Gen. 12:3

Channels of blessings which include spiritual, emotional and physical

Blessings of Jacob Gen 28:14

Growth and multiplication

This can include property, fertility, and security

God’s desire is to save the whole family

Families are important to God

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