"The Husband's Secret let out!!"
The Husband's Secret let out!! Husband.—I always strive to do my best, And leave to providence the rest. Months passed on with many a word, Until a circumstance occur'd That on this subject threw a light, And proved that madam was not right. The servant maid a girl though chaste, Began to swell about the The mist ess often looked and smiled, Indeed, I think the girl's with But, I'll ask the forward jade, By whom, and how, and whence 'twas made, The time and place, and then I'll say, Pack up you slut and go away : The bell was rung, the girl appears, Not knowing what, she had no fears. Mistress.---Susan, I am sorry to say, You seem quite in the way, Therefore to me coufess the truth, And tell me who's the wicked youth. That has seduced thy tender frame, Nay, don't be shy, come tell his name. Susan.—-O, madam on my bended knees, I crave forgiveness if you please, And unto you I will confess, Who 'twas destroy'd my happiness. Mistress.—Come, come, be quick, or at a venture, The constable shall be sent for, If prison, penance, or pelf, can do it, In this fair town not long ago, The rascal shall be made to rue it. As I have heard the story go, \ill\. Ther madam pity my disaster, Two sweethearts lived a loving pair, For I must own it was my master, Who courted many a tedious year! He kissed me, pressed me, sweetly smiled, At length to end Love's pleasing strife, And then, oh dear, he Resolved to become man and wife, Mistress.-—Your master slut, my husband can't, To church they went and soon were wedded, He could not do it I'm sure of that, With friends made merry and were bedded. If true, where did he do the act, And then on\ill\uotbetween the sheets, Speak out you strumpet, tell the f c.at By some means Lade both Susan.—Why madam, he got in late one night, At nine months end expect a birth, In bed room, by candle light. To bring a subject on the earth; Mistress.---Where was I, that did not see it, But no such thing for three times nine, Susan—Why madam, you were fast asleep. Produced a birth, or yet a sign, Mistress.— O, Susan, Susan, more disgrace, Which caused much trouble and contention, Why not cry murder, scratch his face, But here the instance I shall mention. Kick, bite, scream, call aloud for me, Wife.---Dear husband, I am almost wild, Do any thing from him to flee. To think that I'm not yet with Susan.—My mstress dear, to tell you true, You know my dear it is my wish, I was afrairs of waking you, We toil all night andcatchno fish. And I confess, he kissed so sweet, Husband.-- Well my dear, perhaps we might, I could not for the world retreat ! If we were only to act right, Mistress.- -Then Susan, now to your disgrace. There is no fault in me I think, Pack up this instant, leave your place, I am well in health and seldom drink, Take your master too, you might, Among the girls I never go, For by the Gods ; I swear this night, To do the thing that's wrong you know, Before I sleep upon his bed! Wife.—Don't preach to me about your sober life, I'll plant the horns upon his head, For you can't satisfy your wife. Be first in folly's ruad has \ill\n. Husband.—Truly, I believe no man can I'll finish what he has begun, Satisfy the mind of a woman. If be tries the maids. I'll try the man: Wife,-- O, tell me not of such foolish stuff, Where he's got one, I'll have ten. Our next door neighbour's quite enough, They were not wed so soon as we, No. 42. And yet they' ve children two, you \ill\.