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					A collection of some of the most bizzare, amusing, funny, incoherent, odd, or downright weird e-mails I have received, regarding Crack and other security software. Some of these mails will necessarily read strangely to a native-english speaker, especially those sourced from people whose first, second or possibly third language is not English[1] - but I have mostly tried to select e-mails on the basis of content, not for reasons borne out of forgivable grammatical error. With the creation of the FAQ, such e-mails are becoming rarer; therefore I celebrate these as a dying phenomenon. - alec, 2001/3/21 [1] This is to ignore the occasional query I receive, written in French, German, Thai or Polish, which (if it passes a basic scan for appearing literate) I try to have translated and act upon)

================================================================== SHORT STUFF ================================================================== hi!! I think, you are a good hacker!?! -[sorry, my english is not so good]how many time use I, to learn hacken? and what can I do to learn hack and crack?? I habe a quastion, my girlfrind has a problem with a other boy, how kan I hack on homepages? ok, thanks vor you anser! i hope, you andre my! cu -----------------------------------------------------------------I was wondering if I could get a copy of crack, I cannot find it on the web, or I should say I could not find it where I was looking and if I did it wasn't packed properly or d/loaded to that site real well It sounds like a great and well developed piece of ware -----------------------------------------------------------------i don't know who you are, but i really need you'r help You are my last hope. Please help me out. Somebody is keep on signing on my aol account and sends dirty emails to my buddys . I really need u'r help cuz i couldn't download cracker for aol 5.0 (for some reason) Please help me out. I will do anything for you too. Thank you very much =0)

... ...... p.s please email me back , i will wait for you'r email -----------------------------------------------------------------could you send me a www about the most important crack? please thank you very much!!!!!!! -----------------------------------------------------------------Could you help me out with something, please ... I have run crack on many of my systems and come up with a response like the following: 0:Guessed 12345678 [<no-ciphertext>] 12345678 [/etc/passwd /bin/ksh] Can you please tell me what this means? Thanks, -----------------------------------------------------------------SEND ME IF YOU CAN ANY CRACKER PLEASE! -----------------------------------------------------------------I am in dire need of a password...Do you crack AOL passwords? -----------------------------------------------------------------CAN YOU SENT ME A CRACk FOR NFS ROAD CHALLANGE -----------------------------------------------------------------Password breaker. Tests your password file for passwords that can be easily guessed, resulting in unknown people accessing your system. Recomended for sysadmins to advise users to tighten up their accounts. Could you please send me this file or some how show me where i can download it from. I need to know if my password is breakable. I also have plenty of Wares. Later -----------------------------------------------------------------Sorry to bug you directly, but I've searched google with no luck. I wish to upgrade to crack 5 (which I think does MD5 password checking from the docs). I don't see a link for it in the manual, and google just wants to advise me about crack cocaine :-)

-----------------------------------------------------------------I got interest whith cracking norton antivirus,in order to have free update every tyme c'd you explain me the way to on win9x?! -----------------------------------------------------------------I need a program for crakear (" keygen ") the file XLINKW.EXE that integrates the self-executing one"XLINKWIN.EXE version 5b (c) 2000 from, this is a shareware for tranfer data from the PC to the Digital Diary of Casio and Sharp simultaneously. I would be appreciated you inform me where to obtain this cracker's program, could you help me? -----------------------------------------------------------------Can I have some cracks please! Send me a crack use e-mail.... Please!!!!! I bet you're such a genius man! I'm from Canada... Nice to meet ya... I visited your website... The crack that can figure out password tou know.... Please e-mail back to me. Make sure your icq and msn messenger. -----------------------------------------------------------------I have downloaded youre cracker and dont know where i shall start, i dont get it!!! I mean....where do i change the cflags and cc etc. Could you please help me here!!! Or i could just ask you for help??? My problem is that i want to find out how do i get more money in the internet game which (COMPANYNAME) has built. The game is poker. And the the adress is http://www.(COMPANYNAME) .com.......You see the real problem is that you cant build more then 2000$ each time and i want to build money fast the boys who have lots of money have done this to......but they wont tell me how. so if you could help me ill be most thankful........i sure will....and if you dont want to help me i understand. PS: Please answer anyways -----------------------------------------------------------------I'd like to find out if you have or know of any password crackers for AOL. Or if there is some type of program for getting into AOL email. Please let me know. Thanks again! -----------------------------------------------------------------Subject: crack per carmageddon 2 ------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello! I've heard, that you have Cracker Software! I need very kind of Password-Cracker you have. I've planned with my friend a Crack. We are against PORNOS, so we are going to change the pictures on these shit fucking homepage into pictures of the members of NIRVAVA!!! But we must crack the passwords. Bye your Comm@nder Send the Software to: (EMAIL ADDRESS) -----------------------------------------------------------------hi i need crack to qizmo ( quake1 proxy) give me it or adress plizzz DRAGON -----------------------------------------------------------------i have prassi cd in my computer,i have win 98 pentium II 350 mhz,it' possible send me crack for this software to copy cd? thanks -----------------------------------------------------------------Please, I need crack for eudora pro 4.2 version. Can you help me? -----------------------------------------------------------------I am hoping there's a chance you can help me crack an E-mail. I don't understand most of what is on your link to Hot Wired. Help???? -----------------------------------------------------------------Subject: From jesus Hello: Now I recevid your program Crack 5.0 but I have the Windows 95 Systems. You in the User Manual of the Crack 5.0 mention the Crack 6.0 please I would like know if the Crack 6 or if you has another program that serves me in 95 and NT Windows siystems in order to see the content of the password files (.pwl). greeting Jesus. -----------------------------------------------------------------Im still kind of new to unix. Two quick questions. what is unix written in and can I get a copy of the source for that crack programm. Thanx Dan ------------------------------------------------------------------

Why won't it let me download it? Please can you send me a WORKING Password Cracker. If you do I will give you anything you want. -----------------------------------------------------------------Hello I am very interesting in CRACK50, but I didn't studied UNIX,C ,and others system. I want to crack my ISP-UNIX and user passwd.but i can't crack passwd. I have download some files from isp-unix.would you please help me crack unix passwd and user passwd? Thank very much -----------------------------------------------------------------Hi, can u help me with "Crack Version v5.0" thanx and see u I hope kOZa I am in war with English language, sorry -----------------------------------------------------------------It's a Party and You're Invited Day:Hellow!! Sey please . Where i can dovnload Crack v5 and moo.. Time: Place:Tallinn Eestonia !!! -----------------------------------------------------------------I just wanted to say that i have no idea how to use Crack v5.0 (its the only version i got. I mean there are no executable files. I want to know if there is a Crack proggie that is as simple to use as, say, Divine Intervention 3, something that has a windows feel to it. Not that i don't like Dos style programs. If you made such a thing or know where i might be able to get one please tell me. confussed user -=\K0MaND0E/=-----------------------------------------------------------------Subject: Do you have any Password Crackers That actually work Hi

-----------------------------------------------------------------Hello, My name is XXXXXXX. I am from Bangladesh. Can u please help me? I need password sniffer or cracker software to hack e-mail password. I know the user name (log in) but I don't know the log in pass word. I have collected some of your c programs, But it is not helping me that much, by the way what is makefile for? Please write me in detail. Well my system is as follows: I have to ring to a certain phone number through modem to another computer (server) to get the Internet connection, I get the prompt:( In a terminal window) login: (where I have to write my user name) password: (where I have to write my password) service type: (where I have to write ppp ) Now can you send me any kind of software, so that using it I can crack some one's password to use his login name? or, Is there any process that will help me to get access to any user account? my computer system: Windows95 server computer system: UNIX With best wishes. I will be hoping for your reply. Thanks// -----------------------------------------------------------------Dear Sir, Did you have quicken 98 crack serial number file? Please send me a copy. Thanks -----------------------------------------------------------------je cherche le crack de lightwave 5.6 -----------------------------------------------------------------YO WHEN I TRY TO DL THE PASSOWRD CRAKERS IT DOSNT WERK. I WAS WONDERING IF U CAN GIVE ME A LINK TO A SITE I CAN GO TO OR IF U WOULD JUST PLEASE SEND IT TO ME BY MAIL THANX A LOT -----------------------------------------------------------------i have been surfing aroung these cracking sites and looking at all

this sort of stuff but it tends to be for unix and networks! this is no good. What i am trying to get hold of is something that can find out the passwords of the external e-mail accounts like hotmail and yahoo. Somebody has been doing this to us and i want to find out hlw he is doing this. Do you have any packages that you could send me? -----------------------------------------------------------------I have lost my password, and I don't want to call the provider I would feel really stupid. All I can remember is that the password is 7 characters and has a "d" in it. Please assist with some possibilities for words. Please email me at XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Thanx, -----------------------------------------------------------------I home you get this male, 'cos I'm not sure the address. I read about Crack v50 and also I downloaded it, but I've just read the manual.html. I have a question for you... Is it possible to run a similar program under win95? Cos, it's very difficult for me to use a linux system and I really doN't wanna reinstall my whole PC, and I'm in a really huge truble... I have to get into my school system, to rewrite my laws, because there was a stupid teacher and blabla... nevermind I have to get a passworld. Of course I have the passwd.txt from the school.. So PLease TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO, as soon as iT's possible...

================================================================== LONGER STUFF ================================================================== My response to a survey e-mail; the original e-mail is infix, and my responses are surprisingly truthful for the most part, if not extremely obscure unless you know me well... | | | | | | | | | | | >Mr. Muffett: > >My name is XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, and I am wokring on a domain analysis >project for my company. We are using CRACK 5.0 in our toolset. I am >currently writing up a description of CRACK, and the information on >the internet is minimal. So, I was wondering if you could help me >with information I need. Here is an outline of the write-up: > >-Developer Information > -When was CRACK originally developed?

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The basic concept dates back to the 1960s, and various similar things have been available for unix since about 1976. If you mean Crack *specifically* - it was originally developed and redeveloped and sometimes wholly rewritten, several times, during a quantum time-smear spread between 1991 and 1997. > -Why was CRACK developed? The full answer to this question would take several hours and a few pints of beer to explain (at the very least) the explanation involving issues of unix systems administration, sex appeal, orangutangs, extreme boredom, loud rock music, massive caffeine abuse, single malt whisky, teenage rites of passage, celtic culture in isolated environments, and the complex and subtle interactions between the egos of several of the more notorious cult-figures on the UK hacking scene. The short answer is "for the hell of it". > -How often is it updated? When I feel like releasing a patch and have had enough contiguous spare time at a keyboard without risking being staked to the ground and left to the vultures, by my partner. Fortunately there are no true vultures in the wilds of the UK, so I am moderately safe on that count, and thus am only truly at risk of being nibbled by badgers and the occasional hedgehog. >-Product Description > -Any additional information on CRACK 5.0 that is not in the > Users Guide. None. The guide is the fount of all wisdom. There is even a hidden message on page seven explaining the secret of eternal life, however it is in a microscopically small font; check for: <ZEN></ZEN> - tags in the HTML source. >-Key Features > -Any additional information on key features on CRACK 5.0 that is > not in the Users Guide Over-use can cause brain tumors in rats. >-Reports > -How are results presented on CRACK 5.0? on screen and/or printout?

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If you bother to generate output, yes. I prefer to eat the output directly, with grape jelly and Oreo cookies. >Any help with these questions would be greatly appreciated. >Thank you for your time. Granted. Now, do please answer me something: What on earth would you intend to do with the answers to these questions if they were answered straightforwardly?

my e-mail, bizzarely, was actually responded to: >The answers to the questions if answered straightforwardly will be >incorporated into a report that describes products that can >potentially be integrated and/or interfaced within a Vulnerability >Assessment System framework. > >Baqckground of the developer, history and a description of the >product are a part of the written report. > >Answering the questions would be greatly appreciated. If you would >like to talk about the report, please call (nnn) nnn-nnnn. Thanks. ...and I further responded to this, after I had dug around a bit: | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | >The answers to the questions if answered straightforwardly will be >incorporated into a report that describes products that can >potentially be integrated and/or interfaced within a Vulnerability >Assessment System framework. Hmmm... for what company? Not part of the US Military, perchance? >Background of the developer, history and a description of the product >are a part of the written report. Problem is, what you have there in my previous response is actually remarkably accurate; generally, the most anyone needs to know about the software is: * * * * * * * it is popular it (mostly) works it gets fixed when I feel like it it got wrote because I felt like writing it it has basic documentation on how it operates it is licensed and distributed as-per the LICENSE file you can work out the answers to most of your remaining questions by trying it out ("AS-IS BASIS", etc, from LICENSE), short of your requiring that the author of the program meets

| some arbitrary metric of "lack of moral turpitude" - if so, God help | you when you get around to Dan Farmer and SATAN 8-) - I cannot but | note that at least the personal information you request is redundant, | and that all such information that is available is available on the | net, and nowhere else - if you can't find it there then it does not | exist. | | Incidentally, developer background will tell you nothing when it comes | to the quality of the end product; I am an astronomer with no | computing qualifications; Wietse Venema is a particle physicist in the | field of vector bosons, and various peers of mine are medics (system | penetration testing and network analysis), linguists (system | security), economists (cryptographers), and chemists (also | cryptographers). | | Apart from having been to university (in some cases without even | having received a degree) - the commonalities are few and unimportant. | | >Answering the questions would be greatly appreciated. | >If you would like to talk about the report, please call (nnn) nnnnnnn. | | Although I really do generally prefer to be helpful to people who ask | about Crack, I do make a point of not running up transatlantic phone | bills to do so; please don't take this personally - the US Navy and | the FBI have made the same mistake before now. ================================================================== AND FINALLY: This is the coup-de-grace; I received... >We are considering using your freeware/shareware >product Crack on the (INSERT PRODUCT NAME) >under U.S. Government Contract Number XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX, >and with the understanding that (PRODUCT NAME) or the >U.S. Government may further distribute the (PRODUCT) >system with Crack imbedded therein. > >So we may complete our evaluation of your product, >would you please respond to the following: > > 1) Are there published license terms > associated with the use of your > product? If so, would you please > forward. > > 2) Is there any cost associated with > the use of your product? > > 3) Are you the Author? the Owner? > of Crack

> > 4) Is Crack copyrighted? If so, what > year(s)? > > 5) Is your product Y2k compliant? > Will you provide a certification > to that effect? > > 6) Is your product supported? (i.e., > will you provide technical support > and provide product fixes and/or > upgrades), and for how long?. > > 7) Du you know of a commercially > available product which provides > the same functionality as Crack? > >Your response sometime today would be appreciated. > >If there are any questions, please feels free to give >me a call. He actually chased me with this message twice, to get a reply; so, I responded in kind: | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | > > > > 1) Are there published license terms associated with the use of your product? If so, would you please forward.

They're in the code, which you can download from [url]. Save me some bandwidth. > 2) Is there any cost associated with > the use of your product? Only your time. > 3) Are you the Author? the Owner? > of Crack Yes. > 4) Is Crack copyrighted? If so, what > year(s)? 1991 through to date. > 5) Is your product Y2k compliant? Probably. > Will you provide a certification

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> to that effect? No. > > > > 6) Is your product supported? (i.e., will you provide technical support and provide product fixes and/or upgrades), and for how long?.

I fix bugs as/when I may, and occasonally post new revs to the net. Given how stupid people generally are regarding computer security, I can forsee doing this until the day I die. I can usually be persuaded to answer questions for beer. > 7) Du you know of a commercially > available product which provides > the same functionality as Crack? I have heard of several, but frankly they all suck, 'cos no one develops them when they can use Crack for free, instead... > Your response sometime today would be appreciated. De nada.

To my vast surprise, this was actually followed-up with a response: > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So we may incorporate "Crack" in the (PRODUCT) system, distribute and transfer it to the U.S. Government, and be able to advise the U.S. Government that your product is being provided with restricted rights, we have prepared the attached notice/agreement which we believe to be in both your and (COMPANY)'s best interests. We would appreciate the use of your product on the (PRODUCT) program. If you have any questions, let me know. Otherwise, please review the forwarded notice/agreement and advise if any conflict(s). If OKt, please sign and FAX back - I will have it countersigned and return a copy to you for your records (please provide FAX or mailing address).

NB: attached to this e-mail was a Microsoft Word document FOR AN ENTIRELY *OTHER* FREE SOFTWARE TOOL, viz: "lsof", by Vic Abell; said document discussing all matter of legalese. I thought this error most fitting and replied at length, copying Vic and a few other people whom said person might have contacted. I shall skip including the whole text of my reply, the flavour of which is expressed by this fragment:

| Moreover, forgive me, but I fail to see where my getting into a | legal bed with (COMPANY) amplifies in any way the license agreement | and terms that Crack is already distributed under, or is in any other | way to my benefit. ... | As ever, being based in the UK, I find the references to export | control vastly amusing, though understandable given US Govt history. | I look forward to some day coming across a piece of media with my | code on it and with "NOFORN" stamped all over it. | | Moreover, although I enjoy making my code available to all and | sundry, I hardly see why I should foot the bill for a transatlantic | fax to permit them to do so. There are limits on my kindness. | | Anyway - thank you muchly for your efforts - they have been most | theraputic to me. | | Kind regards, That was the end of it - I thought. Then finally, some weeks later, I received the following from a systems administator of the same firm: >Your reply to our contract's guy was forwarded around the office. >We all loved it!!! Unfortunately Sys Admin's often butt heads with >contracting people, so your reply made our day. > >Thanks, > >PS: Great product! ================================================================== ================================================================== ==================================================================

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