How Can I Save a Bad Relationship Written by: Jackie Evans http://www.www-magic-of-making-up.com
If you're asking the question: "how can I save a bad relationship" than the answer might be, why save it when you can improve it? There's really not a lot of reason to try to salvage a relationship that brings you more misery than joy. If, on the other hand, you and your partner have both expressed a desire to make things better and you are both willing to work together, you won't be saving a rotten relationship, you'll be taking a bad relationship and making it great! Relationships will always have some ups and downs. If both people are mature enough to be able to have real discussions about what the problems are, as well as being honest enough to accept responsibility for their part of the problems, than the two of you have a really good chance of making your relationship better. If one of the partners is immature and unwilling to make changes or even discuss the problems than I'm sorry to say it but your relationship is already over. You can stay if you want but don't expect things to ever get better. It takes both parties working together to overcome problems in any relationship, one person can't do it all. If the two of you have decided that you are both willing to try the first thing you need to do is find better ways to communicate. What happens in many relationships is that one party gets upset and yells at the other person who will eventually just tune out their partner. No one wins and both of you are miserable. True communication isn't about which of you is right and which one is wrong, it's about trying to make your partner understand what you are feeling and why you are feeling that way. It's also about your partner trying to listen and not get defensive or upset, but try to listen openly to what you are trying to explain. If both of you can learn to talk, and listen, properly you'll find that things in your relationship will go a lot smoother.
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Here is an example of what I mean: Lets say that there is a situation where the girlfriend doesn't like some of her boyfriends buddies, maybe because all they want to do is go out and party and all his friends are single so she gets a little insecure when they go out. That is a valid way for her to feel, but it's also valid that her boyfriend spends some time with his friends. If she wants to discuss this with her boyfriend, she will be wasting her breath and time if she just starts screaming at him, accusing him of cheating on her, and bursting into tears. That is a totally unhealthy way to deal with the situation. He will feel like he is being attacked, which he is, and she will feel like she's being ignored, which she is. A better approach would be for her to find a time when they can sit and talk, when they are both calm and not angry and when neither of them is tired or in a rush. She should then calmly explain that while she understands that he has the right to spend time with his friends that she would feel better about it if that time was spent going golfing, or to a basketball game, etc and not to a club. That is a perfectly reasonable request presented to him in a reasonable manner. Now his response will tell her a lot about where he is coming from and how he really feels about her and their relationship. By approaching her boyfriend calmly and intelligently, instead of screaming at him like a banshee, she has allowed for an open discussion. If, after that, her boyfriend refuses to make any changes than the sad reality is that he likes going out to the clubs and is more than likely flirting with other girls, at the minimum. He doesn't really care that much about his girlfriend, her feelings, or their relationship. It's time for her to move on. The next time you feel like asking: "how can I save a bad relationship" try these tips so you won't be saving a bad relationship you'll be turning it into a good one. This now brings me to ask: How would you like to find out more information on how you can save a bad relationship? You would? Then CLICK HERE and you can find out more about The Magic of Making Up System
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