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					A Child Unheard - In My Generation I was a miserable young woman who knew how to be depressed, and was depressed for so long. The spirit of misery at the age of 26 years and as far back as I can remember made me feel as though I had lived enough in this world and could not face any more of this life. I used to dress well to try and hide how I was feeling inside. I was a ‘got it together’ young woman at work and among friends but when I was alone , in my home I was so tormented, cried myself to sleep almost every night. I hated myself so much. I had such a personal hatred for myself that ran so deep. I was my own enemy before the whole world. I am a mental health nurse; one would think I could sort myself out. It goes to show, never judge a book by its cover. Nothing brought satisfaction in my life; my job was not bringing me any joy. How I managed to do my work and quite well is down to God, because I had problems erupting from all angles there also. I just was at a very difficult place deep inside me. I had a few relationships; I thought maybe I could find someone to make me feel happy. Surely it was down to some man to change how I felt. It was about me so I dated and gave up the whole idea; these relationships just were a mess too however not before the hurt, pain and disappointment. How can anyone step up to such a task, I went in with no consideration of the other’s feelings; their role was to make me happy. I felt so lost, so alone in this world. Asking God all the time what is my purpose for living, why am I here? Last year, 2008 presented a whole vast of problems for me; mostly at work thus I started attending my church June ending. After a few months of joining this church a man called David Russell came along with his book called A Child Unheard. I thought well it is just a book when I heard of his coming to tell us about it. David came and did his talk, gave testimonies about his life journey on that chosen Sunday. He stood in front of the church and spoke of where life’s journey had taken him but he seemed to be standing there in one piece. I remember sitting there looking at him and many thoughts running in my mind. I read this book after the church encounter, a few weeks down the road; a friend had bought the book for me to read. I got in touch with David, the author, of this book to tell him how great his book was. But in my reading of the ACU book I had missed the magic in this book really I had. I had however identified that I wanted to relate to love, in a romantic sense and totally avoided poems that made me think or sense pain at any level. I could not make sense of it all until a little later on. When I wrote to David and he explained to me about the child unheard book, he went further by telling me about a Child Unheard ( ACU) as a human condition that may well be in all of us. He worked with me using this special book reading poems, which are based on his own his life and real life experiences, that moved my soul. Through reading this book I realised and was able to locate the roots of my misery and problems. They stemmed from childhood and I had carried them into adulthood. Using this book enabled me to challenge my past, thought processes and move on with my life. I challenged my thought processes of anger, unforgiveness, loneliness and so many other issues. Each poem represented a different issue somehow that i

needed to work on in my life and I was able to work through these issues as they came up. If one man could get over so much hurt and live to tell others about it, certainly I could live to tell my own life story. It was hard because it opened up so much stuff about myself, that I had bottled up inside me, all the difficult details about myself and how I viewed the world. Now I feel a lot happier, still some days are dark and I struggle through them but I am stronger and smile from inside too. It was not as clear cut as it might sound to others to get on the road to my healing but I allowed myself a chance to see if life could change and make sense to me. I enrolled at a well known institution in London this January, studying counselling and psychotherapy, I am still using the child unheard book as part of my coursework, I have always dreamed of being a Doctor, working with children, this course is leading me there, I am still at my job but will give it up sometime when the course goes in deeper. I am working better as a nurse, I feel, giving the patients more to look forward to, and inspiring them to get better. Some sort of human development took place as I was engaged in exploring what each of the poems meant to me, what they represented in my own life and life experiences. On e-mail I have got the evidence of this experience, right from October 2008, when my journey to healing started by writing to David, I read it sometimes and I see how far I have come and it brings me joy. I have started writing poems too as an outlet for my feelings, I had previously never written poems before, the truth is I actually never liked poems, but life changes so much when you find a purpose, when wounds are healed, when you reach out to find the roots of your problems, not just merely scratching the surface of life problems and when you find God. My life will never be the same again, that is for sure, for the better. Thank you David for a magnificent ACU book, that is so blessed. the vision simplified, come and see. Bible Verse Mark 10:15. About me Martha Bvunzawabaya is my name. I was born in a small town called Kwekwe, Zimbabwe, in 1981, and aged 27years. Spent 19 years in Harare before coming to the UK to study Mental Health nursing. I work as mental health practitioner with eating disorders sufferers, mostly anorexia nervosa. I have learnt a lot through my job including motivational enhancement therapy, mentoring and so much more. I am currently studying at WPF introduction to Counselling and Psychotherapy. I lodged my testimony of me as a child unheard on Oprah Winfrey- Angels website in 2009.

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