Free Wedding Jokes from The Wedding MC Jokebook
Printed with author’s permission. Scroll down for your Free Wedding Jokes. I have included Bride and Groom Jokes, Parents and Grandparents, a Couples Joke and a One-Liner. I have also included tips and advice for telling the jokes. (Each Joke in the Wedding MC Jokebook has tips and advice).
If you are making a speech (or you are the Wedding MC) and you want more great humor like the jokes below, check out the Wedding MC Duties website.
If you want to speak to me or Mark, please email me at email@example.com. Hopefully I can help you out and answer your questions. Bride and Groom Before Barb and Greg got married they went for psychoanalysis to make sure they were compatible. Greg was done in a day, but Barb had to return for several more sessions. It wasn’t that Barb had any
problems. It was just that when they had to go back to their childhood, it was easy for Greg because he was already there.
A good joke to use before the toast to the groom. Also a great joke to use anywhere in the program. For instance, before introducing the individual giving the toast to the bride. Tell the joke in your own words of course, but make sure you keep the last line the same (punchline), keeping the same order of ideas.
Greg recently attended a lecture a psychologist was giving to a group of men. “How many of you make love to your wives every night?” the psychologist asked. A few raised their hands. “Twice a week?” More hands. “Once a month?” Still more hands were raised. “Only once a year?” A man in the back row jumped up and eagerly shouted, “Me!” “So why are you so cheerful?” the therapist asked. “BECAUSE TONIGHT”S THE NIGHT!”
The ALL CAPITALIZED last line means shout (or at least raise your voice considerably). You can tag this joke (add a secondary punchline) with:”Those of us who are married know what category we're in.”
Parents and Grandparents When Barb asked her mom if her dad had lived up to all the things he promised before they were married, her mom said, “No. He’s only lived up to one of them.” Barb asked “Which promise was that?” “He said he wasn’t good enough for me.”
A general joke that can be used anywhere. Tell the joke the way it is written. It works well.
Frank and Elizabeth are pleased that their granddaughter is getting married. I didn’t realize how caught up in the whole event they had become until Elizabeth said that she wanted to relive her wedding. She told Frank that they should run upstairs and make love. Frank said she had to
make a decision because he couldn’t do both. Can be used with parents (change granddaughter to daughter). Emphasize “run upstairs” and “make love” when presenting. One Liner Marriage teaches you loyalty, patience, understanding, perseverence, and a lot of other things you wouldn’t need if you’d stayed single. Couples A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to see a dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want Novocain because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was truly impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman. Which tooth is it?” The woman turned to the husband saying, “Show him your tooth dear.”
Remember to use real details such as: real names, a real vacation, and a real situation. For example: “When Stan won the sales award last year, he received a free trip to Phoenix...”
Delivery is the key to making jokes like the ones above successful. The included instructions are vital in the success of the jokes and the reaction they generate. Mark and I are experienced Professional Improv Comedians www.DontMindUs.com and explain in more detail our joke telling strategy in The Wedding MC Jokebook. We also have a 100 more jokes.