DisEngaged Pilot - June 3fdx Script

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DisEngaged Pilot - June 3fdx Script Powered By Docstoc
					DIS-ENGAGED “Pilot” Written by John Michael Meehan

John Michael Meehan 2605 Finley Street Silver Spring, MD 20902 202-494-1054 JohnMichaelMeehan@gmail.com

1.

DIS-ENGAGED

“PILOT” COLD OPEN

FADE IN: INT. WILL AND JENNA’S APARTMENT - NIGHT WILL LYONS, boyishly handsome but scruffy at 25, sits dejected on the floor of a trendy, well-furnished Washington, D.C. apartment. He stares blankly at the walls while turning an ENGAGEMENT RING over and over in between his fingers. The door opens and in walks BRIAN “GHOST” GOSTKOWSKI, also 25. Clean-cut and straight-talking, he is a uniformed police officer and an old friend. GHOST Got here as soon as I could, buddy. How are you holding up? WILL It’s over, Ghost. officially over. My life is

GHOST Right. So I’m assuming you won’t mind if I take whatever’s left in your fridge then, yes? The department has had us working doubles for the past three days and I am starving. Ghost rifles through the cabinets and refrigerator. WILL What do I care? Take anything you want. A few more days and I’ll probably just end up dead anyhow. Starvation, broken heart, jumping in front of a Metro train... Ghost pulls out a frozen vegetarian microwave entree. GHOST (looking at the entree’s box) Probably for the best. I’ve always said that it’s much better to get it all over at once rather than suffer the ungodly torment of a prolonged death by rabbit food. Ghost tosses the frozen entree into the microwave.

2. WILL (blubbering) Not the gluten-free, non-dairy broccoli pot pies! Those were Jenna’s favorites! GHOST Easy there, killer. I’m pretty sure your AWOL fiancee isn’t going to mind it if I gank some of her leftovers. Ghost takes a seat beside Will on the living room floor. pops open a can of soda and passes a second can to Will. GHOST (CONT'D) Besides, she’s probably back on the meat wagon as we speak. What was that guy’s name anyhow -- Petey, was it? WILL Nice. Tactful! Of all the people I could have possibly reached out to at a time like this, remind me again why I decided to call you? GHOST Three reasons: one, it’s three a.m. and no one else is still awake. WILL Go on... GHOST Two, ever since you and Jenna got together after graduation, you’ve been a total assclown and pretty much abandoned every other form of human interaction known to man. WILL I’m listening... GHOST And three? By dumb luck or sheer coincidence, I also just so happen to be your very best friend on this entire planet. WILL Well, when you put it that way... Look, dude. do. GHOST I feel for you, really I (MORE) He

3. GHOST (CONT'D) But the bottom line is that things simply aren’t going to get any better by sulking around and waiting for your phone to ring. The microwave DINGS in the background. Whoops! GHOST (CONT'D) That’s my rabbit food.

Ghost stands up and heads to the microwave to grab his food. WILL What am I gonna’ do, Ghost? Ghost sits down next to Will once again and starts to eat. GHOST (between bites of food) Do? You’re gonna’ do what you always do. You’re gonna’ spend a few weeks crying like an emo princess, you’re gonna’ write up a few more of your songs that scream “look at me! I’m a sensitive douchebag with a guitar...” WILL Hey, my songs are good! GHOST ... and then you’re going to throw yourself back in the dating game way too early in order to find the next in the long line of future-ex-MissesWilliam-Patrick-Lyons-zis. Rinse and repeat. Pretty simple, really. WILL Absolutely not. There’s no way I... GHOST (still picking at the entree) Of course -- man, this stuff is terrible -- if you’re serious about getting your life back in order, you could always just move back in with me and the guys until you sort stuff out. We zombie-proofed the whole house since you moved out, ya’ know. WILL (not biting on Ghost’s joke) I dunno’ -- things didn’t really end so well when I moved out.

4. FLASHBACK INT. THE GANG’S LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON Carrying a BIG CARDBOARD BOX filled with personal belongings, Will exits his bedroom. Through the far wall, video game BEEPS and EXPLOSIONS blast at full volume. WILL (shouting through the door) Hey Vasquez, can you turn that down? We’re already pumping the A/C at full blast and your gonna’ blow the... As if on cue, all of the power in the entire house goes out. WILL (CONT'D) ... circuit. EXT. THE GANG’S FRONT PORCH - MOMENTS LATER Will hauls the box to the porch. He bumps into a GOLF BAG and slips on a bunch of GOLF BALLS. He crashes to the ground with a THWOMP as his possessions go flying everywhere. WILL Spencer!!! EXT. THE GANG’S HOUSE - STREET - MOMENTS LATER Will arrives at his car, a black 1997 Ford Mustang. As he readjusts the box to free a hand and open the door, he sees it has been spray-painted with shaving cream. It reads: “MAZEL TOV! - G MONEY BITCHES!” END FLASHBACK INT. WILL AND JENNA’S APARTMENT - CONTINUOUS GHOST Come on -- your biggest problem was Goldstein, and he moved out six months ago. WILL ... and Spencer? GHOST Spencer’s harmless. Ok, so maybe your cat took a leak in his dresser. And maybe he smacked the damned thing with a golf club. It’s ancient history!

5. WILL What about Vasquez?

And the new guy?

GHOST Look, moving in a fifth person saves each of us $100 a month. Trust me, they’ll get over it. WILL Do you guys even have room for five? GHOST Five? We’ve got room for TEN! Well, just as long as they don’t mind sleeping in the basement. (laughs) But seriously, I can call the landlord first thing in the morning, and we can start moving your stuff this weekend. WILL It’s just... I just don’t know. GHOST Look, Willy -- it’s pretty simple: either you can move back in with me and the guys and take a shot at starting over, or you can sit around your old apartment waiting for an exfiancee who’s currently doing the horizontal mamba with a personal trainer named Petey. WILL You’ve always had such a way with words. GHOST So what’s it gonna’ be? WILL You’re a bastard. right? You do know that,

GHOST Rent’s due on the first of the month. And you’re welcome. END OF COLD OPEN

6. ACT ONE INT. OFFICE - RECEPTION AREA - LATE AFTERNOON The alumni relations office is cozy and well-lit. There are TWO DESKS in the reception area -- one larger, and one smaller. A secretary, CLAUDIA “CJ” JENSEN, 45, types away behind the larger of the two desks. Her hair styled in a haphazard frizz, she wears oversized glasses and a hideous blouse/pant ensemble from right off of the racks at a discount outlet. CLAUDIA (speaking into phone) Washington University Alumni Relations, this is Claudia Jensen speaking: One moment please. Claudia pushes a button to transfer the call. The door behind her opens as Will enters. WILL (to his boss, off screen) Thanks again, Sue. I really appreciate it. (to Claudia) Hey CJ. I’ve got a bunch of things to do around the house this weekend and Sue said I can have tomorrow off, so I think I’m gonna’ duck out a bit early. CLAUDIA Oh Will, Will, Will. How exciting! Is it more wedding stuff? Meeting with the photographer? Another tasting! Gosh, I’m so happy for you! WILL Yeah... not exactly. Actually, well, it’s a long story. But it turns out I won’t be getting married after all. CLAUDIA What? Oh Will, Will, Will. believe it. What happened? WILL Kind of a long story... CLAUDIA Was she screwing your brother? Cuz’ that’s what happened with Hank and me, you know. I can’t

7. WILL Wow. Um -- look, I don’t really want to get into all of the details. CLAUDIA (unphased) My own brother! Can you believe it? I mean, sure, mom and I always knew that Kevin was a total flamer -- but HANK? I never suspected a thing. WILL Right.... Look, I... CLAUDIA Well, I mean -- there was that one night where me asked me to wear the cowboy hat and call him “Mandy.” But other than that, I never would have suspected a thing. WILL Yikes. Alright, CJ. Well... I’ll see you on Monday morning! EXT. PR OFFICE - PARKING LOT - CONTINUOUS The public relations office is located in an old academic building at the center of a Washington, D.C. college campus. Will exits the building and heads for the Metro platform. On his way across campus, Will is spotted by ALLISON “ALLIE” WRIGHT, a college junior in her early twenties. She is disarmingly attractive, but dressed comfortably in a faded pair of jeans and a fitted Rolling Stones T-shirt. ALLIE Wait up, Boy Wonder! WILL (his best attempt at humor) Student Employee! I don’t believe we’ve met. ALLIE (playing along, with a friendly handshake) Allie Wright, student intern and aspiring filmmaker extraordinaire. And you are...? WILL Late for my train if I don’t hurry my sorry ass up, that’s for sure.

8. Will and Allie walk and talk as he heads for the Metro. ALLIE Still a slave to public transit, eh Lyons? WILL Sadly. The ‘Stang is pretty much out of commission these days, and so I’m forced to throw myself on the mercy of the Metro rail. ALLIE Well, I suppose it’s better than throwing yourself on the tracks of the Metro rail. WILL (possibly considering this) A fair point. So how’s tricks, kiddo? ALLIE Same as ever. Cramming for finals, forty seven pages due by tomorrow afternoon -- you know, the usual. WILL Sounds like a blast. ALLIE Totally. But hey -- “it’s always darkest before the dawn,” right? WILL (chuckles to himself) Yeah. I guess so. ALLIE Anyway -- on a lighter note, how goes the wedding planning? Yeah. WILL Funny story, that.

Will gives her a pained expression in an attempt to make light of the bad news. Allie reads him immediately. Oh my God. ALLIE Will, I am so sorry.

WILL Thanks. It’s okay. Well, it will be. (trying to regain composure) (MORE)

9. WILL (CONT'D) Actually, I’m on my way to a house right now. I’m gonna’ few things in with them some weekend and stay there for a I sort everything out. buddy’s move a time this bit while

ALLIE Well look: if there’s ever anything I can do to help, just let me know, ok? I can bang out a mean spreadsheet, and I’m a natural at sorting mail. WILL (looks down at his feet) Thanks, kiddo. I appreciate it. ALLIE Any time, Lyons. Well, three afternoons a week, at least... I’m only a desk away. Allie smiles and heads back toward the center of campus. WILL Thanks, Allie. (finally looking up) And good luck with those... Allie is already well out of earshot. WILL (CONT'D) ... finals. EXT. THE GANG’S FRONT PORCH - SUNSET With a sleeping bag tucked under his arm, Will arrives at THE GANG’S HOUSE, a small, two-storey rental in a sketchy neighborhood. Plopped on the front porch in a lawn chair sits DAVE DECKER, 24, a long-haired art teacher. He sips on a mixed drink and wears a wife-beater T-shirt, a bandana, and a ratty old pair of jeans stained with pottery clay. A pair of binoculars hangs around his neck. WILL You must be the new guy. DAVE (still seated, lazily) Dave Decker. Good to meet you. and Stormy?

Dark

10. WILL Thanks -- I don’t drink.

What?

No.

DAVE Ha. I don’t “sober.” That’s pretty much my favorite part of drinking, actually. As long as you never stop, you never get hungover. Ha ha. WILL Yeah.... Good one. Dave cranes his neck and

A bird CHIRPS somewhere off screen. attempts to look around Will.

DAVE So I hear you’ll be crashing with us for a while, eh? Ghost told us everything. Sorry about your luck, bro. WILL Thanks, Dave. DAVE Hey no problem dude. And if you’d like -- me, Vasquez and Spencer are happy to help you guys move boxes on Saturday afternoon or whenever. WILL Great. Yeah, thanks -- I mean, there’s really no rush or anything. DAVE Take your time, dude. The basement is all cleaned up and ready for you to move in whenever. Dave swirls the ice in his glass and polishes off the last of his drink with one quick gulp. WILL Cool -- wait, “the BASEMENT?” serious about that? He was

DAVE Whole place is zombie-proofed, and rent is due on the first of the month. Again, a bird chirps O.S.

11. DAVE (CONT'D) But if you’ll excuse me, it’s... (tapping his binoculars) mating season, you know. WILL Right. Yeah. Mating season. again, Dave. Thanks

Dave stares O.S. as Will heads for the door. DAVE Welcome home, chief. INT. THE GANG’S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Will arrives through the front door into the living room. is the quintessential “man cave” -- mismatched furniture topped by dirty dishes and empty boxes of take-out food. It

Through the far wall, video game BEEPS and EXPLOSIONS blast at full volume. Bounding down the stairs comes SHANE SPENCER, 24, black, athletic, and a complete “guy’s guy.” He wears an old pair of gym shorts and a grass-stained T-shirt. SHANE (banging on the far wall) Vasquez! Are you deaf? Turn it down! Christ almighty -- you’re gonna’ blow the damned fuse box out again. WILL Spencer! CatPiss! Yeah. SHANE Long time no see!

WILL Good to see you too, Shane.

SHANE Hey look Willy, I want us to start off with a clean slate, alright? No hard feelings about the feline, and I’m cool if you are. More video game noises. Shane bangs on the wall again.

SHANE (CONT'D) Vasquez! I’m serious about this noise. I am not calling the power company out here again!

12. WILL Sure. No, you’re right -- we’re cool. Besides, Jenna’s keeping the cat. SHANE Damn -- ‘cuz I just got this sweet new five iron and I’ve been dying to take it for a test swing. Composite titanium polycarbonate alloy. Will’s demeanor sours. Relax! He is not amused.

SHANE (CONT'D) You know I’m just playin’!

Looking considerably relieved, Will forces a smile. SHANE (CONT'D) Shoot -- I ain’t gonna’ be smacking no furball bag o’ bones with a brand new Callaway. That’s a $300 club! Though I suppose if there were zombies... WILL What is it with you guys and zombies? After a “GAME OVER” noise resonates through the far wall, OZZY VASQUEZ, a warm-hearted 27 year-old man-child, enters. OZZY LyonFace! Ozzy seizes Will with an unnecessarily large bear hug. WILL Still doing the hugging thing, huh? OZZY Ghost-a-Face told us all about you and Jenna. I’m really sorry, buddy. WILL (still caught in the hug) Thanks, Ozzy. And thanks again for offering to help me move some of my stuff on Saturday. The “START NEW GAME” sound blasts from Ozzy’s bedroom. Ah dag! OZZY My game!

Ozzy releases the bear hug and races back to his bedroom.

13. SHANE So how long are you planning on sticking around, Willy? WILL Well it all depends, really. Jenna and I still have the lease on the old place for another six months, and so I figured I’d just move a handful of stuff this weekend and see how things play out. SHANE “See how things play out?” WILL Well, you know. I don’t wanna’ jump the gun or whatever. I mean, there’s still a chance that Jenna will realize that she’s making a big mistake and... SHANE Yeah. You do know that that’s never actually gonna’ happen, right? OZZY (piping in, from O.S.) Definitely not gonna’ happen, buddy. WILL Jeez, guys. Whatever happened to “never say never?” And “there’s a light at the end of every tunnel.” The power cuts out, leaving all three men in pitch black. WILL (V.O.) (CONT’D) (dripping with sarcasm) Awesome. SHANE (V.O.) VASQUEZ! Dag! OZZY (V.O.) Does anybody have a cell phone?

Will’s face is illuminated by the light from his cell phone. He starts to pass it to Ozzy when he notices: WILL Hey! I’ve got a new text message.... (suddenly excited) It’s from Jenna!

14. Will reads the text message aloud, growing more deflated with each new sentence: WILL (CONT’D) “Landlord agreed to end the lease early. Just moved all of my things to Pete’s. Apartment needs to be empty by 9 a.m. tomorrow. Go pick up your stuff.” Will closes his phone and the house goes black again. An awkward silence. OZZY (V.O.) You wanna’ see the basement? END OF ACT ONE

15. ACT TWO INT./EXT. WILL AND JENNA’S APARTMENT - PARKING GARAGE - NIGHT Will, Ghost, and Shane haul stuff from the apartment to Will’s car. Will and Ghost each carry a big cardboard box, while Shane carries several. WILL These last few boxes should be everything. Thanks again for packing the rest in your Jeep, Ghost. GHOST No problem. Manual labor is what we’re here for -- especially Spencer. Shane leans out from behind the boxes in his arms and shoots Ghost a disapproving glare. GHOST (CONT’D) Oh riiight -- the whole “black” thing. Take it easy, Suntanned Superman... I was talking about your size. The guys arrive at WILL’S CAR, a black 1997 Ford Mustang that is absolutely covered with a thick layer of gray dust. SHANE Yo Will -- what’s up with your ride? Looks like it hasn’t seen any action since Mr. “Supercop-with-no-sociallife” over here last touched a booby. Ghost shoots a glare back at Shane -- “touche, asshole.” WILL Oh, that. The brakes started to act up back in March. And since Jenna and I were trying to save money for the wedding, we decided to just park it here in the garage until we had some extra cash to get it fixed. GHOST ... and the sand dunes? WILL They’ve been doing a bunch of construction work all around the building, and I guess the cement dust piled up pretty fast.

16. Will wipes a thick layer of dust off of his driver side door. The stripped paint beneath reads: “G MONEY ITCHES!” SHANE Ha ha. “G Money Itches.” Sounds like you’re a gangbanger with a V.D. Will opens the car door and loads boxes as he talks. WILL (grabbing a box from Shane) Hardy har har. GHOST You’ve gotta’ admit -- Goldstein got you pretty good. WILL (grabbing a box from Ghost) Look -- if I would have known that shaving cream could strip the paint, I would have washed it off sooner, alright? (loading the final box) Now if we’ve all gotten the chuckles out of our system, I’d really like to head back to your place and call it a night, deal? GHOST (snickering) You’re the boss, “Dusty” Springfield. Will shoots Ghost a “not funny” look as he climbs into the driver’s seat. SHANE Dude, is that thing even gonna’ start? WILL I don’t see why not. The brakes are kinda’ iffy, but the engine should be just fine. Will turns the key in the ignition. The engine WHEEZES, SPUTTERS, and GRINDS to a dead stall. GHOST Epic fail. SHANE (laughing) I’ll call the tow truck.

17. EXT. THE GANG’S FRONT PORCH - NIGHT The power is still out, so several candles have been lit and placed around the front porch. Sipping from yet another drink, Dave sits peering O.S. through his binoculars. Ozzy closes the front door and joins him on the porch. DAVE Any word from the Power Company? OZZY Good news! Cindy said the technician is on his way -- they still have our address saved on file from last time! DAVE (stares O.S. through his binoculars) Daddy likey. Ozzy pulls up a second lawn chair and sits down beside Dave. OZZY Hey DeckerFace -- how can you possibly see any birds at this time of night? DAVE Birds? (puts his arm around Ozzy) Ah Vasquez, that’s what I love about you. Dave tops off his drink and sips from it in dramatic fashion. OZZY Well you said it was mating season... DAVE Indeed I did, my boy. And indeed it shall be -- “mating season” between yours truly and (pointing O.S. across the street) little Miss “Cinderella-inHer-Skivvies.” OZZY Wait -- you’re trying to mate with Mrs. Braddock? Our next door neighbor!? DAVE Technically, she’s our “across the street” neighbor. And yes, why yes I am.

18. OZZY But what about Mr. Braddock? is pretty scary.

That guy

DAVE Maybe so, Vasquez. Maybe so. But he’s also been spending an awful lot of time away from that blushing young bride of his. OZZY “Young bride?” She’s like... fifty. DAVE Well you know what they say: “When the cat’s away, the cougar gets play.” OZZY This sounds like a very bad idea. DAVE “Very bad idea,” or very best idea? Dave passes the binoculars to Ozzy, who sees what Dave has been staring at across the street. Holy crap! OZZY Are those things REAL?

DAVE You bet your sweet Xbox they are. Pretty amazing, aren’t they? OZZY (dumbly, still staring through the binoculars) This is very, very wrong. DAVE Is it Vasquez? Is it really? Is it so “wrong” to bask in awe of the beauty and wonder that our Creator has so graciously placed before our very eyes? OZZY Um -- I mean -- I guess not. DAVE And is it so “wrong” for a smokin’ hot housewife to express her God-given freedom by going about even the most mundane of household chores while in various stages of undress?

19. OZZY Well no, but... DAVE Exactly! My friend, it is our right -nay, our DUTY -- as God-fearing Americans to take full advantage of this glorious opportunity that now lies before us! OZZY Well... I guess I can wait out here until the power company arrives. DAVE That’s the spirit, Vasquez! lemme’ fix you a drink. Now

Dave rises from his chair and heads inside the house. OZZY Ooh! Do we have any more of those little pink umbrellas? INT./EXT. WILL AND JENNA’S APARTMENT - PARKING GARAGE - NIGHT Dusty and tired, Will and Ghost lean on the Mustang. WILL So Spencer’s still with Traci, huh? Affirmative. next month. GHOST It’ll be three years

WILL Man. With the way that those two were always going at it, I didn’t think they’d even make it to graduation. GHOST Well if it’s any consolation, I never really thought that you and Jenna would make it, either. WILL What are you talking about? Jenna and I were practically inseparable. GHOST My point exactly. You were so caught up in one another that you totally lost sight of just how screwed up your little relationship really was.

20. Will gives Ghost a look -- “whaddaya’ mean by that?” GHOST (CONT’D) The “vegetarian” thing? What?! WILL I like Tofu!

GHOST The “no booze” thing? WILL Well there’s a lot of empty calories in beer, ya’ know. GHOST The matching Christmas sweaters? WILL Hey, I’ll have you know that those... (pauses to reconsider, then) Alright, the matching Christmas sweaters were a bit much. GHOST Yeah. And look where that got you. (then, off of Will’s look) What -- too soon? WILL It just seems so surreal, ya’ know? I mean, I had it all figured out. And then from out of nowhere, I get knocked flat on my face. GHOST You should try getting shot at for a living. Sometimes ya’ just gotta’ learn how to adapt. Cell phone in hand, Shane enters from O.S. WILL So what did they say, Spence? SHANE Tow truck guy said he’s on his way, and should be here within the hour. GHOST Screw that. It’s already nine o’clock at night. Can’t we just leave it here and tell ‘em where to pick it up?

21. SHANE No can do, G. They said they need someone to sign the paperwork before they’ll hook it up to the truck. GHOST Oh come on. Seriously? We’ll just tell him to drive on up to the fifth floor and keep his eyes open for the giant ball of dust. Shane’s cell phone rings. He leans away to answer it. WILL Look, you guys don’t have to stay behind if you don’t want to. I can just hang here and wait for the tow truck by myself. GHOST Well -- for as fun as this has been -there’s really no need for all three of us to stick around if all we’re gonna’ be doing is babysitting your oversized dustbunny. SHANE (speaking into phone) Right. Got it. Thanks. (hangs up the phone) Well gents: good news and bad news. GHOST Ah crap, let’s hear it. SHANE The good news is that the tow truck is pulling up around front as we speak. WILL Finally! I was starting to think I’d be better off just jumping off the balcony and getting it over with. SHANE The bad news... is that the truck’s too big to make it through the gate. WILL Which means that we’ll... GHOST Have to push the car down five entire flights. SHANE Have to push the car down five entire flights.

22. A pause while all three men reflect on their task at hand. WILL (CONT’D) You guys don’t think I could survive a fall from five storeys up, do you? GHOST With your luck? I’d guarantee it. EXT. THE GANG’S FRONT PORCH - NIGHT A BEER COOLER sits between Ozzy and Dave as they continue their stakeout of the Braddocks' house. DAVE (stares O.S. through his binoculars) Not too shabby, eh Vasquez? OZZY (stares O.S. through a second set of binoculars) Oh man, this is better than HBO! DAVE You should see what she wears when she vacuums! OZZY You mean it gets even better? (then, in a complete panic) Oh crap! I think she saw me! Dave waves to Mrs. Braddock O.S. DAVE Hey there, good lookin’. OZZY Wait -- she KNOWS we’re watching? DAVE (directly to Ozzy) Um, yeah. I mean honestly now, Vasquez -- spying on a desperate housewife without her consent? What kind of sleazeball do you think I am? (staring O.S. once again) Ooh -- hang on a second! Wait... wait... wait -- yup! Sweet Lord, there go the stockings!

23. OZZY (likewise staring O.S.) Holy crap! Is that... is that her CHUPICABRA!? A utility van arrives from the power company, and SALIM, 34, a technician of Middle Eastern descent, arrives on the porch. SALIM (reviewing his clipboard) 567 Bancroft Road. Are you the folks who called about the power outage? I’m looking for an “Ozzy Vasquez,” or a “Dave Decker...” Upon hearing his name, Dave replies. DAVE (still staring O.S.) Uh huh. SALIM Right. Well look -- Cindy gave me a pretty detailed layout of the wiring that the technician did for you guys the last time things shorted out... OZZY (still staring O.S.) Uh huh. SALIM Well, uh -- I’ll just show myself inside and get to work, then. OZZY Uh huh. Right. Uh huh. SALIM (CONT’D) Thanks. Good talk. DAVE

EXT. WILL AND JENNA’S APARTMENT - STREET - MOMENTS LATER LOU THE TOW TRUCK DRIVER signals the guys to bring the car a few feet closer to his waiting wrecker. Shane and Ghost -each completely covered in dust -- push the Mustang onto the street as Will steers from the driver’s seat. TOW TRUCK DRIVER (LOU) Just a few more steps. You’re good! Will exits the car and steps O.S. to sign paperwork with Lou.

24. SHANE It’s about damned time. You know for a cop, you’re pretty soft there, Nancy. One too many Krispy Kremes? GHOST Oh relax, drama queen. Your people were bred for this sort of thing. SHANE “My people?” GHOST Jocks, Spencer. Muscle-bound meatheads whose many years spent in the Division III limelight make them the ideal candidates for a lifetime of manual labor. Now I know “your people” aren’t always the brightest crayons in the box, but do try and keep up, alright? Will rejoins the guys as Lou hooks the Mustang’s front axle up to his wrecker. GHOST (CONT'D) (to Will) And you -- that is the last time I agree to let a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors decide which one of us gets to have the easy job. WILL Not as easy as you’d think, dude. Those brakes are a lot worse than I remembered. It got pretty hairy there for a minute when we were rounding that corner on the third floor. SHANE Tell me about it. Hey, you guys don’t think that guy with the Beemer is going to notice it tomorrow when... GHOST Look, Spencer -- I’m off the clock and out of my jurisdiction. Let’s just sign the paperwork and get our asses home, alright? WILL Couldn’t agree with you more. (to the Tow Truck Driver) We’re all set, right, Lou?

25. TOW TRUCK DRIVER (LOU) Yup, you’re good. Lou walks O.S. and climbs into the cab of the tow truck. WILL Great. Alright guys, you two lead the way in Ghost’s Jeep, and I’ll follow you with Lou in the truck. Right on. SHANE See you back at the ranch.

GHOST Whoops, that reminds me. Sorry Spence, but I’m going to have to ask that you sit in the back of the car. Shane glares at Ghost as they walk O.S. What!?! GHOST (V.O.) (CONT'D) There’s boxes up front!

INT. /EXT. LOU’S TOW TRUCK - CONTINUOUS Will climbs into the cab of the tow truck alongside Lou. WILL Ready when you are. Just follow that Jeep, and we’ll be there in no time. TOW TRUCK DRIVER (LOU) You got it, boss. Lou starts the tow truck’s engine. TOW TRUCK DRIVER (CONT'D) Say -- who’s “G Money Itches?” WILL (pressing his temples) Please -- just... drive. Lou shifts the tow truck into gear, causing it to jolt forward and tear the Mustang’s front axle off completely. EXT. THE GANG’S HOUSE - STREET - LATER THAT NIGHT Ghost, Shane and Will watch in disbelief as the tow truck drops the scrap remains of the car in front of their house.

26. WILL Good thing Sue gave me tomorrow off. That way, I can throw myself on the Metro rails during the early morning rush hour commute, and I’ll have a few extra chances to get run over before anyone even notices I’m gone. SHANE Cheer up, Willy. It’s not so bad. GHOST Look on the bright side -- at least Decker and Vasquez managed to get the house lights back on. EXT. THE GANG’S FRONT PORCH - CONTINUOUS Will, Ghost and Shane arrive at the porch where Dave and Ozzy sit sharing a few drinks while continuing their stakeout. DAVE Long night, eh fellas? WILL Don’t ask. Will crosses behind the guys and enters the front door. As Will leaves, he passes Salim, who now holds binoculars and stares O.S. GHOST Hey -- who’s this guy? DAVE Oh him? That’s Salim. Power Company. SALIM Hey. SHANE (grabbing himself a beer) Lemme’ guess -- Mrs. Braddock showed you her Chupicabra. SALIM Uh huh. GHOST (sitting to join them) Pretty fantastic, isn’t it? He’s from the

27. INT. THE GANG’S LIVING ROOM - CONTINUOUS Will face plants onto the couch. As his head hits the cushions, his CELL PHONE vibrates from inside of his pocket. He sits up and opens the phone to find a new text message: ALLIE (V.O.) Hey, Boy Wonder. Sorry again about your wedding. Promise me you’ll stay off of those Metro rails, okay? See you in the office tomorrow. Will pauses for a moment. He closes his phone and chuckles.

WILL “... always darkest before the dawn.” EXT. THE GANG’S FRONT PORCH - MOMENTS LATER The gang’s stakeout has given way to an impromptu porch party. Salim and the guys tell jokes and have a few drinks. GHOST ... and so I say, “look, Lady, you can keep the midget. But the clown suit and the gorilla are coming with me.” The gang laughs as Will joins them on the front porch. WILL Hey guys. THE GANG (VARIOUS) Hey! / Willy! / Good to see ya! (Etc.) DAVE Sure I couldn’t interest you in a drink? WILL Nah, that’s alright. I’m... (a beat, then) Ya’ know what? Sure. Why not? Dave passes Will a beer. in a toast. The Gang raise their bottles to him

GHOST Good to have you back, man. FADE OUT. END SHOW


				
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Description: DisEngaged Pilot - June 3fdx Script