OLD HILDEBRAND Farmer Wife Parson Egg Merchant Narrator Terrance Karen D Charles Jaime Billy Farmer: Oh, don’t do that – you might make your self worse if you were to get up. Look, I’ll go and hear the sermon and I’ll tell you everything the parson says. Wife: Well, go then Narrator: Said the woman Wife: and mark every word Narrator: So, Old Hildebrand went to church…and the parson said: Parson: Whosoever has at home, a sick child, a sick husband, a sick wife, a sick father, a sick mother, a sick sister, a sick brother, or whosoever else it might be, should go at once to Bowling Green in Kentucky, where they can get a sack of laurel-leaves for a quarter, the sick child, the sick husband, the sick wife, the sick father, the sick mother, the sick sister, the sick brother, or whosoever else it might be, would be restored to health instantly, and if that person will come to him immediately after the service he would give them the sack for the laurel-leaves and the quarter. Thank you very much. Amen. Narrator: So Hildebrand went immediately to the parson…who gave him the sack and the quarter. Both: Yahoo! Narrator: This is the story about a farmer called Old Hildebrand…and he had a lusty wife…and the parson of the village had a fancy for the wife. He longed to spend a whole day with her in peace. The wife was quite willing too. One day he said. Parson: Listen, my dear, I have an idea how we can spend a whole day together in peace. On Wednesday, you take to your bed and tell your husband you’re sick. And on Sunday when I preach, in my sermon I will say that whosoever has at home a sick child, a sick husband, a sick wife, a sick father, a sick mother, a sick brother or whosoever else it may be should go at once to Bowling Green in Kentucky, where they can get a sack of laurelleaves for a quarter, and the sick child, the sick husband, the sick wife, the sick father, the sick mother, the sick sister, the sick brother, or whosoever else it may be, will be restored to health instantly. Wife: I will manage it. Parson: I’ll see you Sunday. Narrator: Even before he reached his door he said: Narrator: On the Wednesday, the wife took to her bed and lamented as agreed upon…and her husband did everything for her that he could think of, but nothing did her any good…and when Sunday came, the woman said: Wife: I feel as if I were going to die at once, but there is one thing I’d like to do before I go, I’d like to hear the parson’s sermon today. Farmer: Oh wife: It’s as if you were well already. The parson preached today that whosoever had at home a sick child, a sick husband, a sick wife, a sick father a sick mother, a sick sister, a sick brother or soever it might be, and would go at once to Bowling Green in Kentucky where a sack of laurel-leaves costs a quarter, the sick child, the sick husband, the sick wife, the sick father, the sick mother, sick sister, brother or whosoever else it might be would be cured instantly; and he gave me the sack and the quarter, and so I’m on my way. Narrator: No sooner had he gone when the woman got up…and the parson was ther immediately. Let us leave these two for a while, and join Old hildebrand, who walked on quickly without stopping, so he could get to Bowling Green. On his way, he met his good buddy, the egg merchant, who was just coming from market, where he had sold his eggs. Egg Merchant: Hey, Old Hildebrand, good buddy, where you off to so fast? Farmer: Oh to all eternity my friend, my wife is ill, and I have been to hear to parson’s sermon, and he preached that he who has at home, a sick child, a sick husband, a sick wife, a sick father, a sick mother, a sick sister, brother or whosoever else it might be, and went to Bowling Green in Kentucky, where a sack of laurel-leaves costs a quarter, then the sick child, the wick husband, the sick wife, the sick father, the sick mother, the sick sister, brother or whosoever else it might be, would be cured instantly, and I have the sack and the quarter from the parson, and now I am beginning my pilgrimage. Egg Merchant: That ain’t all he’s given you brother. Farmer: Yes! It is! Egg Merchant: Are you then so stupid to believe such a thing as that? Farmer: Stoopid! Egg Merchant: Don’t you know what it means? The parson wants to spend a whole day alone with your wife in peace, so he’s given you this job to do to get you out of the way. Farmer: If I could know that was true! Egg Merchant: OK, come on then, I’ll tell you what let’s do. We’ll go to your house and then I’ll hide you in the egg basket and then you’ll see for yourself. Narrator: So the two set off for Old Hildebrand’s house. When they got there, Egg Merchant: Hurray! Narrator: Everything was already merry there. The woman had already killed almost everything in the barnyard and was making pancakes…and the parson had brought his fiddle along. Wife: Who’s there? Egg Merchant: It’s me, your good buddy, the egg merchant sister. Give me shelter this night; I’ve not sold my eggs are the market, now I have to carry them home again, and they’re so heavy, I”ll be never able to do it, and it’s dark already. Wife: Well, you’ve come at a very inconvenient time for me, but as long as you’re here it can’t be helped. Come in, and make yourself scarce over there in the corner. Egg Merchant: Thank you maam, blessings upon this house, good evening Parson, fancy seeing you here! Parson: Good evening! Heavy load. Egg Merchant: Sluggish market today. Lots of double yolks. Parson: Listen, my dear, you can sing beautifully; sing something to me. Wife: Oh, I can’t sing anymore. I used to have a wonderful voice, but that’s all over now. Parson: Come, come, do sing some little song…Bowling Green! Wife: I”ve sent my man away from me on a merry chase To Bowling Green, Kentucky I hope he likes that place All:: Bowling Green….Bowling Green…Good old Bowling Green. Parson: I wish ‘twas a year or so before that fool came back I’d never even ask him for the good old laurel sack. All:: Hallelujah! Bowling Green…Bowling Green…Good old Bowling Green. Narrator: The egg merchant knew a verse of that song too Egg Merchant: What cha doing Hildebrand? Didn’t I tell you true? Parsons sporting with your wife, what cha gonna do? All:: Hallelujah! Bowling Green…Bowling Green…Good old Bowling Green. Farmer: Preacher better say your prayers, and lick your platter clean, Cause I intend to kick your ass, From here to Bowling Green. All:: Hallelujah! Bowlin’ Green, etc.