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					Stage 2 English Communications Support Materials Annotated Work Sample Assessment Component 3: Text Production

To facilitate reliable allocation of marks against the criteria, and assist in discrimination between different standards, a Performance Standards statement is available from the English support materials (return to the English menu to access these Performance Standards). Teachers and markers are advised to adopt a balanced approach when determining how well a student has addressed each criterion, rather than being limited by precise allocation of marks to each clarifying question. That is, deficiencies in one indicator can be offset by higher achievement in another, to determine the overall mark for a criterion. This work was awarded a 22/30 when considered against all of the criteria for the component, and within the word length constraints of the assessment tasks. The word count for each category of the written texts should be up to a maximum of 1000 words or 6 minutes if completed in the oral mode or as a multi-media text The following is an explanation of the application of the Performance Standards. understanding
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to what extent does the student recognise the structural, conventional, and linguistic features of different text types? to what extent does the student understand the purpose of different text types?

(high) Sophisticated use of the structural, conventional and linguistic features of expository in instructional non-supervised task, 'Step by step guide to knowing your guitar better! Perfect for beginners'. (satisfactory) Sound use of the structural, conventional and linguistic features of narrative and expository in reproducing a range of examples of texts, as demonstrated by paragraphing, sequencing, choice of material, authorial voice. Sound demonstration of different contexts, audiences and purposes through producing a range of texts, on a range of topics, and using different voices. (low) Limited differentiation between recount and narrative in 'Vomit. I'm going to be sick' and 'I was sitting in her wheelchair' in structural, conventional and linguistic features. application  how effectively does the student reproduce the structural, conventional, and linguistic features of different text types?  how imaginative and original is each text produced by the student?  how versatile is the student in producing texts for different contexts, audiences, and purposes? (high) Demonstrates a perceptive level of understanding of the purposes of different text types. (satisfactory) Sound demonstration of originality and imagination over a range of texts. Demonstrates sound understanding of the style, register, and format of narrative, and the instructional variation of expository. Vocabulary and structure sound. communication  how accurate and fluent is the student's expression?  how appropriate are the student's form and register for the audience and purpose? (satisfactory) Mostly accurate expression, in spelling, punctuation and grammar, with an adequate vocabulary and a generally appropriate form and register. The SACE Board of South Australia has the student’s permission to use this work

Any errors in the original work have been replicated
 SACE Board of South Australia 2008 cffb3406-0371-47c5-90e7-7632eb4e7a5e.doc

Last updated 26 Decem

TASK 1 : Recount supervised Vomit, im going to be sick. That's what was running through my head as I sprinted away. I stopped next to a brush fence and threw up all that food. Hot burning insides flowed freely from my mouth onto that newly made fence. All of the past hours felt like they were compacted inside of me and was coming out in a river of blazing torment. I kept running, unaware of which direction I was headed all I knew was that I wanted to put as much distance between myself and what I had just seen. It was dark, and so many of the street lights were off; almost in a symbolic way that told me I should have expected to have seen something as sinister as disturbing as I just had. Unable to fully comprehend where I was or where I was going, I tripped at a full sprint off of the kerb and into the middle of the road. I landed on my knees, and then face planted it straight to the ground. Gravel scraped and tore away my at my skin, that familiar stinging sensation that years of skateboarding had bought to me. I reached up to feel my face, and was shocked not only to feel that painful sting of the exposed flesh over my right eye and forehead, but the hot salty tears that covered the rest of my face. Half laying, half crouched on the ground, the full weight of what had happed hit me. I screamed on the ground, in the rawest emotional pain I had ever known. I knew it right then, »life was never going to be the same. Images and emotions played out in front of my eyes, so many memories, so many promises that will never ever be filled now. I couldn't stop one image from coming back; those cold, frozen eyes. Those eyes that I knew I would see every night, every time I shut my eyes, it already was happening. I rolled over again let out another shriek that ended in me vomiting again. I couldn't shake all the images to think straight. They all started so happy; with Evan agreeing to move band practise to his house while his parents were overseas. Band practise was like bliss it let us feel so free from everyone. When Evan didn't come to school for three days, without telling anyone why he wasn't there, the though never even occurred to me that he might have been in trouble. Jesus, why didn't I go to his house sooner? I was supposed to be his best friend, and it took me three days to get my arse in gear and get over there. I stood outside of his house and phoned him, so many times. Each time getting that little bit more desperate. He'll pick up this time, I know he's just been sleeping. After calling him on the land line and his mobile about 13 times, the worry turned to complete desperation. Bashing on his door didn't work. Where are you? How could he just disappear like this? I was getting so worried. My panic spawned my mind to think up crazy stories, like the dealers had finally come for their money. I knew that Evan was in a bit of debt, but only about $800.1 thought of what happens in the movies, when dealers come in your house and rough you up a bit so I thought maybe they had come and broken his legs and he just couldn't get to the phone. Or his mobile. Or the door. Or couldn't even shout back to me. Sheer panic was setting in, I was getting frantic at the idea of Evan on the ground, with legs bending in ways they shouldn't. I ran around the house looking for a way in, an open window or something, anything that would let me in. Finding absolutely nothing I sprinted to the garden shed near the back fence. Laying on that hard gravel in the road, I let out another ear-splitting scream. NO, I don't want to see this, I don't want to see this again! But my mind didn't care; there was a battle raging within my brain. It forced me to relive it all again. The second I opened the shed, the most putrid smell hit my nose. It smelt like off meat that had been sitting in the sun for days. The shed was dark and I fumbled for the light switch. I bumped into something heavy that swayed as I tried to find the light. I stubbed my toes on when felt like a milk crate, just before reaching the light. I turned it on, and turned to the centre of the room. Their swaying after my bump was Evan hanging from an absurdly tied noose. Dead. With a tiny amount of dried blood coming from his mouth and those eyes that had already begun to haunt me. I screamed again and again on the hard gravel as images of his body kept flashing before me. He was so stiff, so cold, that was not the Evan that I knew. And his eyes, I couldn't stop myself thinking about his eyes, they were just so empty. I have no memory of how 1 got off his property or how far I had run. All I knew was that I need to put as much distance between myself and his body as possible. If Evan was dead, the way his body swayed was not how I wanted to remember it... 936 words.
 SACE Board of South Australia 2008 cffb3406-0371-47c5-90e7-7632eb4e7a5e.doc

Last updated 26 Decem

TASK 2 : Narrative I was sitting in her wheelchair next to my room window. Staring straight into the sun I could feel the warm of it reaching my face. My nose and ears suddenly becoming alive again, after being frozen for days. The hospital was like that; the noisy air conditioner that ran constantly through the day, it would keep me awake when it would suddenly hiss and splutter more frozen air into the ward. The nurse came over to me and crouched next to me. She asked if I wanted to go outside, to get some fresh air. I didn't say anything in reply, like usual. She wheeled me through the endless passages of the hospital until I was sure she was deliberately getting us lost. The nurse was a pudgy middle aged woman, I guess your typical Im-a-nurse-but-Imarried-a-rich-husband type. I always noticed her hands; people say you can tell a lot about a person by their hands. Hers were well worn from years of overuse, and had the beginnings of tiny sun spots on them. She always wore several rings; a wedding band and a green stone on one hand, and then a large diamond on the other. She finally found a veranda after so long, wheeled me out and walked away without any words. Stupid woman. She had never made what seemed like an effort to ease the pain through my legs. No pain, no gain! was here motto. She was a bitch, but I knew that I owed her my life. The veranda I was parked on was deserted and grimy. Littered with old rotting leaves I figured it must have been at the back of the hospital; I couldn't hear the hum of the traffic on the busy roads anymore. Unless they moved me to another hospital. Again. I turned and stared into the sun again, without closing my eyes. I gazed until my whole vision was just white. It definitely was better outside with the sun on me; it somehow felt cleaner, and not so poisoned like it was through the glass window of the room. It was very warm too. I could feel my breathing growing deeper and stronger with the clean, non-recycled air through my lungs. I could see my best friend (name). She was so clear in my mind that I though we were still driving. We had decided to drive to the hills for afternoon tea. We were cruising through the towns with music pumping through her cars thunderous stereo system. We stoped at the inn for a beer, the whole time laughing, smiling and relaxing. (name) said she was sick of driving and I could drive home. It was dark and we were speeding down the highway. Suddenly everything went black. When I looked at (name), she was gone and replaced with a bloodied mess of tangled body limbs. I started panicking, Jesus we've crashed. Again it was black. Looking up I could only see the smashed window and flashing lights of things outside of our warped car shell. There was something warm spreading down my back. Black. There was a mind-numbing pain coursing through my legs as I looked into the face of a young man surrounded by florescence light. You 're ok. Can you tell me your name? But his voice floated away into the distance somewhere. When I opened my eyes I could remember nothing, not even my name. The bitchy nurse was waking me up. I was covered in cold sweat and shaking uncontrollably. I didn't know what happened. Was it real? Was this real, or just another part of my sick mind? The nurse turned me away from the sun to start the journey back to my room. She only words: Don't worry, it gets easier 637 Words

 SACE Board of South Australia 2008

cffb3406-0371-47c5-90e7-7632eb4e7a5e.doc

Last updated 26 Decem

TASK 3 : Free Choice Photographers have a right to make a living as much as anyone. Discuss Since the 60's celebrities have been hunted by photographers armed with determination to snap the perfect picture. Equipped with the latest in photographic technology that can allow for celebrities to be snapped on high speed film or through miniature palm sized cameras, nowdays, celebrities seem unable spend a single private moment alone without it being printed in gossip magazines or posted on the internet. This decrease in celebrity privacy has raised certain personal questions such as 'does the paparazzi go too far to get that shot that will earn them thousands' or more so; 'do photographers have a right to make a living?' In the next paragraphs I will argue my case that I believe that photographers do have a right to make a living. Celebrities and paparazzi feed of each one another. Celebrities need the paparazzi to gain popularity and a certain status; and paparazzi need celebrities to shoot and sell pictures to make a living. It's this ever rotating circle that keeps the celebrities and the paparazzi in jobs. A paparazzi photographer reports to the public on the going-ons in the A-list world. The public have a need to know what is happening to celebrities and so the paparazzi just fulfil this need. Many people will argue that it's not necessary for the paparazzi to report on superficial things such as celebrities with bad hair days or pictures taken first thing in the morning. However, the paparazzi know that those who read tabloids are desperate to see that celebrities are just like them. The public reading the tabloids crave to know that celebrities (that often seem like Gods to fans) are in fact human beings and do suffer from everyday problems that the rest of us share. It is my opinion that the paparazzi are in fact, just doing their job. However I do believe that there is a line that must be drawn before their actions become downright unethical. Paparazzi have created a negative image of themselves that unfortunately gets associated easily with the name. Many people believe that the paparazzi were responsible for the death of Princess Diana and and Dodi AI-Fayed. In fact shortly after her death, several photographers were taken into custody for a short while. Though it has been concluded that the death was caused by drunken driving by the chauffeur many people still strongly believe that the paparazzi were responsible as they were seen to be carelessly following the suspected couple. I do believe that the paparazzi are not all bad-mannered people. In the Princess Diana case the first people on the scene was the paparazzi who was following the Princesses car. The photographers managed to take some very personal photos moments after the crash in her dying moments. The paparazzi choose to have an 'unofficial blackout' put on the pictures. This means that the press agreed within themselves that the photos taken of the dying princess would never be published, out of respect for the late Princess. However, despite the agreed blackout, in 2006 Italian magazine Chi printed the images taken in Diana's dying moments. Chi editor defended his decision to include the photos by saying "that they haven't been seen before". In 2005, Time Magazine published a story that a top paparazzi photographer claimed that he had made $150 000 (US) for one picture of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez after their break-up. With money as high as that being offered for pictures of celebrities, it's no wonder that celebrities are stalked and followed as much as they are. In conclusion, I believe that the paparazzi will find more ways to get pictures with advanced technology that will allow for cameras to go unnoticed. Also as long as society demands that they know about celebrity gossip paparazzi will be kept in a job

 SACE Board of South Australia 2008

cffb3406-0371-47c5-90e7-7632eb4e7a5e.doc

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TASK 4 multiple images have been removed from the work below for copyright reasons

Step by step guide to knowing your guitar better! (Perfect for beginners) The electric guitar is one of the most versatile instruments available today. In this guide you will learn how an electric guitar works, what strings will work for you and how to properly string your guitar. These are the first steps to knowing you guitar better. You will need:
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Electric guitar Guitar amplifier Money to purchase strings (around $30) Wire cutters

STEP 1 Knowing your Guitar-inside and out To produce a sound on an electric guitar, it needs to be plugged into an amplifier (referred to as an amp for short) using a lead, which is an electrical cord. If it's not plugged into an amp, it will create a sound that you can hardly hear. When it is plugged into an amp the pickups situated underneath the strings literally pickup the vibrations of the strings and turn it into an electrical current which when fed through an amp creates a sound. Unless you are planning to build you own guitar, all you need to know is this: Inside a guitar is a basic electrical circuit that feeds the vibrations from the strings, through magnetic pickups, through a bunch of wires and out into an amp using a lead. Simple. images removed 1 image of an electric guitar and 1 image of an amp, including information regarding the names of different elements of the equipment

Try to remember what each part of the guitar is called so that you can easily refer to it when talking with other musicians/teachers

STEP 2: Buying strings Guitar strings should be as important to the musician as a pair of shoes are to an Olympic runner. Buying new stings for your guitar is one of the first things that you should do when you buy a new guitar. Whether the guitar is brand new or second hand, the strings should be replaced straight away; you never know how long the guitar has been sitting in a cupboard or in a factory. The type of strings you buy will give you some indication of what you will play. Stainless steel strings They are brilliant for bold tones and volume, anti-corrosive (excellent for your fingers and the wood on the neck of the guitar), long lasting, resistant to perspiration and humidity, but the only drawback is the annoying finger noise you get when you move around on the frets Excellent for lead guitar, hard rock or screeching solos

 SACE Board of South Australia 2008 updated 26 December 2009

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Nickel plated strings These are composed of stainless steel wound with a nickel plated surface. They are good for speed playing because the surface is smoother and easier to shift on the neck. Many guitarists claim these strings create more 'punch' than other strings. Pure nickel strings Nickel strings are usually used on acoustic guitars, but occasionally used because they produce a bright, round sound. Though less vibrant than stainless steel, these strings are softer and more flexible. Gauge Each string on a guitar has a different gauge of thickness. A guitar strung with light gauge strings will sound drastically different to one strung with medium or heavy gauge strings. Thicker strings will produce a heavier, thicker sound, whilst thinner ones are better for finger-picking and light strumming. For beginners its probably best to use thin strings because they are easier on the fingers. For me as a rock guitarist, I use Ernie Ball Skinny top Heavy bottom. This particular type comes with thicker than average on the bass strings, and skinnier than usual on the higher treble strings. I find this brand works the best for me as I can get the deeper, thicker tone at the bottom of the scale, and I can make the high end scream and wail with bends from the skinny strings.

Image removed Image of guitar head, noting the tone of each string and its gauge

In this picture we can see the difference in the gauges of the strings. These particular gauges are as they are when the guitar leaves the factory. All in centimetre measures

STEP 3: Replacing the strings So you just bought those strings we talked about in step 2, but unfortunately have no idea how to put them on. Well don't worry, its actually really easy! Just follow the step-by-step guide underneath, and in no time they will be brand new again. Replace the strings if
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They snap. The guitar seems to be de-tuning itself often. If you buy a new guitar from a music shop. If the strings start to feel rough on you fingers, or you can see black marks where the frets are.

(note: in the original work the following steps were accompanied by images that have been removed) STEP 1 Start to unwind the string by turning the tuning pegs anti-clockwise until the string falls out loose from the machine head. *WARNING* Never just cut the old string out when it's at its full tension. It could easily flick out and hit you!

 SACE Board of South Australia 2008 updated 26 December 2009

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STEP 2 Unthread the loose string through the bridge and tail piece, and then dispose of the old string. *WARNING* Only remove one string and then replace it. NEVER EVER remove all strings at once and then replace it, this will dramatically change the tension of the neck and it will be difficult to keep the guitar in tune Step 3 Remove the new string from individually wrapped packet. For these photos I replaced the G-string of my guitar. I'm using Ernie Ball custom gauge with a gauge of 17 (.017cm) Step 4 Rethread the new string back through where you just pulled the old one out from. Thread it right through until the ball reaches the tail piece. Never force the string through anything, remember that you guitar is delicate when it is like this with the tension changed. Step 5 I find it a lot easier to work with the loose string if you can clamp it (using a capo) down on the upper end of the neck. This just stops the string moving around too much when you are tying the knot at the end. Don't worry if you don't have a capo, this step isn't vital; I just find its works well for me. Step 6 Thread the string through the machine head of the corresponding hole, and bend the string around the head, towards the body of the guitar Step 7 Pull the string upwards and hold the end reasonably tightly. Crank the tuning pegs clockwise until the machine head has fully rotated twice. Tune the string, and then you can cut the string back so you don't have left over string hanging off your headstock.

And that's all there is to changing guitar strings! For the other strings just repeat the same step exactly the same way. You will probably need to keep retuning it if you play it straight away because it will take about a day for the knot on the machine head to settle and then it won't de-tune as often. It's important though that you change all 6 strings together rather then only one or two if they break. New strings dramatically change the tone of you guitar, making them sound brighter and cleaner.

Hopefully you now have a better understanding of your guitar. Thanks for reading

 SACE Board of South Australia 2008 updated 26 December 2009

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