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					Dear Jo, Thanks for the prompt reply. Things are generally ok. Sometimes on rare occasions I feel suicidal but I've never attempted it. I have many acquaintences online and one very good friend. I have never met any of them. To date no one has shown any interest in meeting me in person, though I have suggested it. Hypothetically, if we became friends online, how long do you think it should be (if at all) before we meet? I don't believe in psychotherapists anymore, judging by the pscyhitratic reports in the public domain, I am right. They are always stating the obvious! They could learn lot from the US, based on my Amercian psychology magazine (Psychology Today"). The only good British psychologist is Kevin Warwick. Psychotherapy is about talking to work out the problem. The best solution having tried just about everything is to try everything that involves *taking action*. Actions bring results where as talking doesn't do much at all. It's just finding the right action to bring the desired result. I am certain EQ development is the way forward as this focuses on the development of the paradigm. Your paradigm is the pattern of thoughts you have guiding and influencing your behaviour and your future. I have learned this (indirectly) from the world's most successful business men and women and from US psychological research. The paradigm is 'moulded' through the experiences we have, thus everyone has a uniquely different paradigm and uniquely different behaviour. So, "Jo", I will be attending on Wednesday a social event with a group called "18 Plus" who organise lots of social activities. What would you advise I do to make friends? I'll be on my own and I don't know anyone else. I have the confidence, I just don't have the self esteem. In your reply, please enclose the previous emails so every "Jo" knows what's going on. Fortunatley I kept the original and could paste it in. Yours, Ian

Dear Ian Thank you for your e mail and all the information that you have sent, I hope we will be able to use it to help others. You sound as though you are going through a very hard time and that you need to be able to talk about this. I am sorry that you seem to have been let down by the psychiatric profession perhaps though your internet friends and the Samaritans can be of help to you. Do you feel suicidal? I wonder if you could talk a little

more about you feelings. You sem to have a number of good ideas for finding contacts and friends, how are you getting on with these contacts? I do hope that we will ba able to continue contacts with you . I do not know anything about EQ/Emotional intelligence training but I do feel that you should pursue the psychotherapy line by finding a psychotherapist who you can work with. This may well be a god tart. Do contact us again, Ian Jo ================================================== Dear Ian Thank you for your e mail and all the information that you have sent, I hope we will be able to use it to help others. You sound as though you are going through a very hard time and that you need to be able to talk about this. I am sorry that you seem to have been let down by the psychiatric profession perhaps though your internet friends and the Samaritans can be of help to you. Do you feel suicidal? I wonder if you could talk a little more about you feelings. You sem to have a number of good ideas for finding contacts and friends, how are you getting on with these contacts? I do hope that we will ba able to continue contacts with you . I do not know anything about EQ/Emotional intelligence training but I do feel that you should pursue the psychotherapy line by finding a psychotherapist who you can work with. This may well be a god tart. Do contact us again, Ian Jo ================================================== Dear Jo, My name is Ian and I'm having problems with my life right now, to be honest I've always had problems. I often feel very lonely. I am 23, I have just one friend offline and a few more online. I know a lot about the Internet and have little trouble meeting people online, though staying friends is sometimes hard no matter how I supportive I am of them. I am also long term unemployed. I have no car and I live out of town.

I have never had a girlfriend, never gone out with a girl, never been hugged or kissed. The affection and emotional security that comes with a relationship is what I need most. All of this is a result of the bullying I took throughout my entire childhood, I told people about it at the time and was always ignored. The lesson I learned most at school was that I am worthless, I now know this is not true, my confidence is quite good and I am reasonably intelligent, but my self-esteem is low and social skills hardly exist. I am finally taking action to make changes, I am considering joining a socialising group called "18 Plus", a group of people aged 18-35 who simply have social fun together. They are my best chance of changing things. I also plan to take a college course in Neuro-Linguistic Programming to help recondition myself psychological. I have already seen two psychotherapists without success. One left me to go on maternity leave, the other was transferred. Therapy stopped. Despite these good things I don't think things will change. It easy to say talk to people but that behaviour will only happen effectively if the paradigm (mindset / 'mental blueprint') is right. I need to learn how to think positively, not occasionally, not when I need more confidence, but all the time - it needs to become habit. This is the thing that by far will make a difference to my life. Do you think you can help or do you know someone who can? I need to do more researc into Emotional Intelligence as I believe this can really help me. However, there is nowhere in the UK offering EQ/Emotional Intelligence development training. Any help, advice or new contacts you can give me are much appreciated. Sincerely, Ian Mayman. P.S. Attached is a HTML file containing all the self-help websites that I know of.


				
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