British journalistic blunders
Thursday April 20, 2000 "Julian Dicks West Ham United is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field." Metro Radio Sports Commentary Listener: "My most embarrassing moment was when my artificial leg fell off at the altar on my wedding day." Simon Fanshawe:"How awful! Do you still have an artificial leg?" Talk Radio Interviewer: "So did you see which train crashed into which train first?" 15-year-old: "No, they both ran into each other at the same time." BBC Radio 4 Presenter to paleontologist:"So what would happen if you mated the woolly mammoth with, say, an elephant?" Expert: "Well in the same way that a horse and a donkey produce a mule, we'd get a sort of half-mammoth. Presenter: "So it'd be like some sort of hairy gorilla?" Expert: "Er, well yes, but elephant shaped, and with tusks." GLR Robert Kilroy-Silk: "Did you mean to get pregnant?" Girl: "No. It was a cock-up." Kilroy Grand National winning jockey Mick Fitzgerald: "Sex is an anticlimax after that!" Desmond Lynam: "Well, you gave the horse a wonderful ride, everyone saw that." BBC Jon Snow: "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was inevitable, wasn't it?" Expert: "Er, yes." Channel 4 News "As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, and this one is no different to any other." John Sleightholme BBC1 "If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal." Jimmy Hill, BBC "Beethoven, Kurtag, Charles Ives, Debussy: four very different names." Presenter, BBC Proms, Radio 3 "Cystitis is a living death, it really is. Nobody ever talks about it, but if I was faced with a choice between having my arms removed and getting cystitis, I'd wave goodbye to my arms quite happily." Louise Wener [of Sleeper] in Q Magazine