10 Ways To Spot A Man
Who’ll Never Grow Up
All men are little boys – how many times have you heard a woman say that? It’s true that some men remain boyish even in their 60’s – as someone women remains pouting little girls till they’re way past wearing ribbons in their hair. They may be fun but would you really want to spend your life with Peter Pan? Here are ten quick ways to tell the boys from the men – in the first month after meeting him. HE BUYS YOU A RING THE FIRST WEEK This man is an incurable romantic. He believes he knows you after only a few days. He’s in love with love. He’s like a child in a toyshop – he wants everything at once. He wants a wedding, children, a peaceful old age, all within minutes of meeting you. A more grown-up man wouldn’t dream of committing himself so early. Once a man bought me a ring and a watch in the first week. When we split up six weeks later, he met another girl the following day – and bought her a ring. Avoid these men like the plague. HE’S ALWAYS LATE / DOESN’T RING WHEN HE SAYS HE WILL This man is either not really interested, or nuts about you but irresponsible. It’s no good sitting at home thinking: ‘Perhaps my phone is out of order’ or ‘perhaps he is in the car’ or ‘perhaps he’s not near a phone.’ These are all excuses any responsible person can ring on time and arrive on time. Punctuality are a sign of love and good manners. He may say he’s just a laid back kind of person, and you mustn’t make such a fuss, but if he can’t be reliable in the first flush of an affair, then imagine how he’ll be later on. HE GETS ON TOO WELL WITH CHILDREN I remember going to a lunch party with a man who then spent the entire time playing cricket with the kids on the lawn. Everyone said how lucky I was to have a man who was so good with children, what a wonderful father he’d make, they said, meaningfully. What they didn’t realise was that this man actually preferred the company of children to adults because he was a child himself. Men who play games with children and talk to them are wonderful. There are too few of them, but all the time? No. When I had too call him in for lunch, like a mother, and when he called back: ‘Can’t we have just one more game, darling’, I knew I was on to a loser. HE’S JEALOUS OF YOUR GIRLFRIENDS Mature men know that women need their female friends more than men need their male friends. Women, particularly when they’re in love, like nothing more than to go out with a girlfriend and do some serious drooling. It’s not because they want to show off, nor is it because they want to sneer at the chap behind his back. They want to shout their good news from the rooftops. A man who gets sulky and grumpy when you suggest an evening with a girlfriend is jealous and possessive, and he won’t change unless he wants to and know he needs to. HE DOESN’T DRIVE Unless he suffers a serious disability, I’ve never trusted a man who doesn’t drive. It’s in the nature of all mature men to want to take control of a car. Odd, but true. And if he expects you to ferry him from place to place, he’s certainly a little boy, and eventually, when you have to make trip to Scotland and back, it’ll drive you mad. HE DRINKS TOO MUCH Addicts very rarely grow up. They don’t know who they are. They’re powerless in the face of their addiction and are either weak or deeply depressed. Sure, some of them do come of the booze, but even then they have got a lot of growing up to do, and you can never be absolutely sure they won’t slip back again. They need constant looking after, they’re irresponsible and self-destructive, usually can’t keep a job and are constantly broke, looking to you for support as if you were their mum.
HE HAS ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP Married men or men with girlfriends who look to you for an affair are little boys. Maybe their home-life is none too happy, but unlike a mature man who’d simply move away, spend some time on his own, and then start looking for someone new, the man who has an affair is a man who is terrified of being on his own – a very unattractive quality. Never imagine that a man who moves from his wife’s home, straight into yours, with his suitcases, is mature. Remember he’s probably a man who’s never satisfied and will soon be packing his bags again to go off with someone else. If he can’t live on his own for a few months, at least, what’s the matter with him? Yes, he’s a little boy. If he stays committed to his previous relationship, but wants you on the side, he’s a greedy little boy who wants his cake and eat it, too. HE’S A FANTASIST Fantasists when they drag you into their dreams, can be enormously attractive. They have huge money-making schemes and swear you’ll both be rich for ever after. They talk of getting a yacht and having a second home in The Bahamas. They talk of being millionaires. It’s all to be believed as much as those children who swear they’re going to be pop stars when they grow up. Find a man who has got his feet on the ground and talks of getting a mortgage on a small flat, rather than hitch up with a fantasist whose dreams, however seductive, will almost certainly never come true. HE LIVES WITH HIS MUM AND DAD If your man is a student and simply can’t afford to pay any rent, there’s nothing wrong with him living with his mum and dad. But there comes a time when even the most penniless student can move out of home – and wants to, because he wants to be independent. A man who lives with his mum and dad knows nothing about tax, gas bills, ironing, or shopping. You can be sure if he moves in with you, he’ll look to you to parent him. HE MAKES SCENES IN RESTAURANT Any man who bullies waiters is a small man. He feels powerless and impotent and can only make himself feel big by towering over people who can’t answer back. Mature men are firm but polite. They say simply that their steak is overdone. Men who can’t grow up splutter with rage, demand to see the manager, yell that they hope they’re not going to be expected to pay for such appalling service, and generally leaving you red-faced with embarrassment, trying desperately to distance yourself from such a childish tantrum by winking at the waiter behind their backs.
Source: Virginia Ironside, Daily Mail, October 19th , 1998