12 things Bush will do after he gets out of office

Top 12 things George W. Bush will do after he leaves office by Ben Gleib (www.gleib.com) 12. Three years straight vacation time at Crawford. Which will involve chopping down trees and killing animals. It’s how he relaxes. 11. Restart Enron. 10. Pen a best selling memoir of his time in office, called "Presidency for Dummies." 9. Coach a peewee football team. He will not provide them with enough pads or equipment, and will have no game plan. But, down 57-0 at the half, will give a stirring speech about how well it's going. 8. Run whatever else he touches right into the ground. 7. Create a series of children's books where out of a large crowd you try and find the evil terrorist, called "Where's Osama?" (Sadly this will be his new idea for how we should actually capture him.) 6. Create new S&M game where he gets turned on by water boarding Laura. 5. Even though he has no personal interest anymore, rig elections just for the hell of it. 4. Join OJ on his search for the real killers. 3. Illegally eavesdrop on his neighbors, this time with nothing more than his ear, a glass, and his never-ending desire to ignore people’s civil liberties. 2. Finally take those English classes he's been putting off. 1. Choke on some more pretzels.