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EARTH VS

VIEWS: 45 PAGES: 15

									EARTH VS. FUNK
This song was actually a hit in Japan, called "Funkastic". The group singing is called Rip Slyme. I like them. The “Lyrics”: Have a good yam key And a crusty eye See him on the pot Now you’re funtastic Have a good yam key And a crusty eye See him on the pot Now you’re funtastic Funtastic abyss Wahdee, Wahdee What’s mint chew? Funtastic abyss Wahdee, Wahdee You stink Funtastic abyss Wahdee, Wahdee Lost pink shoes Funtastic abyss Wahdee, Wahdee You stink Hi! Chuck E. Cheese recoils down a tree Poke out all his eyes To Crunchitize to the Funk House street Boo Sound as a nickel in a funky sound Gonna con Sam Sally Who the yacket jars sing I’m – funny – Thank you (Damn you!) Myer gotta more money compliment you I – uh, hug – Andrew!

More soup! It’s just scared of Walken in a poncho Red kite Sun shake I chew My money got you climbing on the web Die Q! Mazel tov, no rake, yow!! Try get to honk ya rrrrRAh! yadda yadda yadda yatta YO— Ride a shoe I’ve got a cow full of mean high zest You want get inside, Corno-B Big. They’re calling me Fine Kim, my shin I better not show Dynamite Pig ONE!!! She cuts Kotter TWO!!! You see my tail walkin out A MILLION!!! How can I be Doctor Mankind? Ray Pinash Shake it down Huh!!! Takin’ off This ain’t no day I’ll make you guys pay I’m going side hay Gnome cafe play-dough Ear That’s one knee for Lando Gee, Connie needs her eyes for ham cake clothes OPEN ZA FENCE-AH CAN’T UNDERSTAND-AH FREE KENNY, DUDE FUNTASTIC FUNK OPEN ZA FENCE-AH CAN’T UNDERSTAND-AH

FWEEKINI DOO FUNTASTIC FUNK HALLELUJA blahdddddddddddddddddee Ja-ja-ja-jam Oh the sunny car Anthony in a vase Somewhere God Choweek a’ight sook I know Funkastic be S-Y-what? Through my head I gotta know MC He dotty penny rolls MIC (aye yeahhh) Me dare if they funky But Joncho hockey day Yay Hanat-ay Dooie sanat-ay Can I cut-ay Wallet tape Joy jeeer, took a net And toss it out there Beedy eyes fly bye bye bye bye bye bye hi hi hi hi hi hi hi Missile cuts no cold Little cocktail like a toe I see money now mom's a comb Luxu-rah-ry, I'll risk Bob anyday Ho! Let's go She must give me the wondo gumondo Bronco Guess you need each to ponko Joe row moon sadooshtasoo Thought I got the oboe but I missed Say "Ah tay!!" Hoochie Koochie Rah rah rahhh Funkasticoonamada

whaackathung In a srahboorah Get cold in a jet, touch a frog Ohh!! Watermelon ticker Count all the butt on boat Come here and hear a goodoo It's and I gotta do! Hot tickets dance So we're ready now we're kids In the walk Paw my room, I may knee ow Knock knock (Who is it??) Osama The pot! To my ear I gaurantee Za Mister Funkastic Z-U Totaly male sheep too! Zucchini show Mentally calf Can I see poo Oh dear on I on yet I say horsey yeah! (Like money) Sorry to rap, but oh please? It's! It's Why! Why The! The Show! Show Shouldn't say Pin a monster to feet Jim Moonie mini barbeque, die die It's another you Yo! No! Pot! No! Right! HEY!! It's! It's Why! Why The! The Show! Can we pawn, ka stinky, oh right OPEN ZA FENCE-AH CAN'T UNDERSTAND-AH FREEKEE NEEKEE

FUNTASTIC FUNK OPEN ZA FENCE-AH CAN'T UNDERSTAND-AH FREAK IN A SUIT HA LA LOO YA! Characters, Images, and Stuff: EvF Logo I designed the ―Earth vs. Funk‖ title on the blue circled background, and damn it, I’m proud. Mountains Another little drawing I made. Mrs. Garret It’s old Mrs. Garret from Diff’rent Strokes and The Facts of Life! And she’s playing a guitar! I traced her face a long time ago for some bizarre purpose, and it made its way into Funk. Steven Tyler Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler, sporting a milk mustache and an odd hairdo, is one of the many singers in this Animutation. The way his jaw moves is eerie. Patrick Renna Child star from such hits as The Sandlot...... and The P.U.N.K.S.!! Knee dancin’ Neil That animation of the kid in the red shirt doing the funny knee dance is me! Don’t tell anyone. Mighty Mouse He’s looking particularly fruity. Yams, keys, crusty eyes, men on pots There’s not a lot I can say, other than that I have no idea why that guy is inspecting the ceiling above the toilet. Oh, and the key graphic is from Monkey Island 2. Mutant Lesko I morphed Lesko a wee bit and made him pop up with the brass hits. Nightmarish! Bob Vila I’m not sure what he’s doing here... Perhaps it’s a reference to Rip Slyme’s other cool song, Stepper’s Delight, which would’ve contained the term ―Bob Vila‖ commonly if I had translated it instead of Funkastic.

Gagging guy with hat I forget who is, probably one of Alora’s online friends or something. Dubya giving The People’s Eyebrow Nabbed from a Fark.com Photoshop. Stage Pretty lights. I drew and animated it. Sneering fellow on the left Altered pic from a pop-up ad. They’re good for something. Ronald dance It’s Ronald McDonald’s Dance Grooves! I don’t know, someone emailed it to me. “Wahdee” I don’t know what this means, but it’s not quite the next Gahbunga. YET. Carrot Top Carrot Top’s surprised little face beckons you to join the Funk Side. He’ll be back in the most horrible way. Hong Kong Phooey I found this pic somewhere and decided that Hong would make a funny dance if I flipped it left and right. And I was correct! I never watch his cartoons, but oh well. Barefoot Santa What the hell? Santa is barefoot and wearing a sweatshirt. I think this pic is underrated. I mean, it’s barefoot Santa... Colin Mochrie Look at the swirling Mochrie heads! He’s saying ―Funkastic‖, not ―find a stick‖ or ―find a pig‖. Screaming Weird Al It’s Weird Al singing his guts out. ―Yoda‖ I think. Chuck E. Cheese He recoils down a tree. Street Lights I don't know. Just more decoration.

Pokey hand and eyes Ouch! Crunch Berries I like Cap'n Crunch better than Lucky Charms. Ronald heads Drawn by Alora. Secret message! When Mrs. Garret pops up with a cigar in her mouth, there's a small secret message in the bottom right corner. If you zoom in on it, it reads "i need a hug". Dog make-up guy HAHAHAHAHAHA. LOSER. Middle finger Although the middle finger isn't as prevailant in this as it was in Hyakugojyuuichi, it certainly gets some screen time. Andrew Jackson On a whim, Andrew Jackson once gathered every distinguished gentleman he could find into his bedroom and screamed obscenities until they all left. Soup That soup was delicious! Click on circle for secret!!!!! Of course, nothing happens when you click on it. A chilling symbology if there ever was one. Walken in a poncho Walken in all his 80s blonde glory. The poncho was added digitally of course. Naked Neil Yeah, that guy's supposed to be me. He's from a Flash animation my sister Emmy once made, a bit of which is recreated later. Red Kite That bird's called a Red Kite. Oh, the things you can learn from Google Image Search. Aaron animation Animated screencaps from the webcam of Aaron Ackerson, a faithful Animutation fan.

Die Q! Look, I'm just interpretting what the lyrics sound like. It sounds like he's singing "Die Q!" so I showed the letter Q being stabbed by invisible anti-Q extremists. Girl Power! hat I'm a guy, and I'd wear this. It would be ironic, because I'm not a girl, and yet the hat exclaims something that would normally suggest femality. Sam and Max flipbook animation This little animation showed up in a Sam and Max comic about making a flipbook. Somebody scanned it and colored it. God bless that person. Dave Foley's head on Dave Thomas's body Honestly. Dynamite Pig The cute pig is from "Cute Piggy's Revenge", a Fanimutation by Buddudandslash. Oh, and the sticks of dynamite say "DYNAMINT!!" on them. Osama He's pointing a single finger in the air. Thus, "one". Bob Saget He likes peace! Looks like he's got some pigmentation problems on his face, though. Hope he's doing all right. Doctor Mankind See what kind of weird stuff you can get with a little interlingual oronymizing? Hmmm... that sounds filthy. Naked Neil again This is basically what happened in my sister Emmy's animation. A terrible caricature which is supposed to represent me dances around nude (without any plumbing of course) while fingers point at me and some lady walks in and sees me and runs away shocked. Based on true story. Weird Al squatting The moment I found this picture of Weird Al doing some strange squat in a tuxedo, I knew I had to cut it out and make it dance. Parakeet Taken from the art for a Shut Up Donny album, drawn by my pal Logan Whitehurst, who also drew the green telephone Mr. Rogers in Japanese Pokerap.

Happy pirate He's a very happy pirate! Why, you might even say that he is a GAY pirate! Because gay means happy! Lando Hey why not. "Free beer tomorrow" sign Reference to a conundrum someone once told me when I was young. Apparently it's also a James Luther Dickenson CD. Mr. Bean caricature Possibly the most horrifying depiction of Rowan Atkinson in existence. Once again, I thank Google Image Search for making it all possible. Dancing gators Whenever I see an animated GIF of ANYTHING dancing, I save it. It comes in handy. Warhol banana Bananas are funny. The name "Warhol" is funny. I honestly think this Animutation would not be funny if I hadn't included the Warhol banana. Colin's head on Jeannie's body I mentioned Colin's head earlier, but this time it's sitting atop the body of TV's Jeannie (just like Larry Hagman!) Orange Michael Jackson If you were wondering how he could possibly look any worse... Osama again Y'know, around this time, Osama was in a LOT of Flash animations. Usually being hideously maimed. In Earth vs. Funk, he unfortunately only gets a warped up face. Walken Moe I decided that if there was to be a drama based on the lives of the Three Stooges, Christopher Walken should portray Moe Howard. This is my poorly Photoshopped concept image. Japanese shemale guy That's a screencap from a short video clip my sister discovered. In the clip, a young Japanese business man follows a pretty-looking girl from behind. At the end, she turns around and turns out to be just a guy with long hair and eerie fashion sense. HALLELUJA It's spelled "hallelujah". D'oh!

Spider Head Boy Spider Head Boy is a young man with a high pitched voice, purple dress, funky sneakers, and a giant black widow spider for a head. He's probably one of my favorite Animutation characters ever. Jam C'mon, it's just jam. I don't have any interesting jam stories to share. Well, there was that one time that the ghost of Jerome Monroe Smucker besieged me with a ladel of flaming strawberry preserves flailing in his translucent hands. But that's probably a bit too exciting for your little ears, and also it's completely made up. Anthony in a vase Anthony Hopkins, Hannibal Lechter himself, loses all dignity when popping out of a tiny "vahz" like that. Wait--- is that a vase... or two faces looking at each other? Hmmmm.... Another secret message! When Mr. Bean pops up in front of Spider Head Boy, there is another secret message in his hair. Zoom in and it reads, "this is baby luigi, he's as fun as a sgueegee! (sic)" Harry Potter and the Bad Day A sneak peak at the cover of the next hit Harry Potter book. Drawn by my aforementioned sister Emmy. Pot smoking old fellow One of the few blatant drug references in an Animutation. Okay, I've referenced mushrooms and acid as well. But those are jokier drugs. This is just a gray old man offering us a hit. Oh, and to clarify, I don't do any drugs of any kind at the moment. I tell you what, I don't need no THC, because I've not yet even begun to see the limits of my natural, sober delirium. Eccentricity, my anti-drug. Hulk Hogan Like the banana, the Hulkster is an integral part of what makes this Animutation so hi-hohilarious. Come to think of it, his famous mustache looks sort of like a droopy, furry banana. Spirit, Stallion of the Cimarron When I was working on this, Emmy was ultra excited about the release of "Spirit". So I mutated that horse just for her! Thoughtful guy I think this was another guy from a pop-up ad. Sometimes those annoying things have funny pictures.

Clown brothers Don't ask me where this is from. I don't know. Probably one of the stickier levels of Hell. Cute, animated Hulk Hogan Aww, look at him. He's cute! Wait, what's he doing...? OH GOD HE'S REMOVING HIS SHIRT. Another another secret message Zoom in to Bob Saget's shoulder. The text reads, "if you look had (sic) enough, you can find secret messages!" What is it with me and mispelling secret messages?? Jon Stewart The Daily Show rocks my socks. Look, I made Jon's nose all big and cumbersome. Mutated Leskos Once again, Lesko looks nightmarish after getting warped up a bit. Eyes Shifty eyes, at that.... Alvin the Chipmunk You know, the scratch sound that comes at this part sounds sort of like Alvin the Chipmunk. I never noticed that until now. Nifty. "$7.95 Power Ho..." Sometimes, Internet Explorer will truncate the title of a window interestingly. I forget what this actually was. Probably a "Power Hose" or perhaps a "Power Hobgoblin". Walking guy Sometimes I wonder what this little guy's up to these days. Jar Jar Binks I like to say that Jar Jar rocks, just to spite everybody. Jar Jar, you're my friend. Unpleasant lady Another pop-up ad picture. Guess my pop-up stopper was busted when I made this. Farchie Archie Look at him, he's being stepped on! Poor Farchie Archie. Purple monster Just a perverted looking purple creature. An anorexic Grimace perhaps? Michael Jackson fade The second, black and white image was an attempt by Alora to make Jacko black again.

Obviously she failed miserably, because I've seen the guy and he's still white. Ah tay! Did you say it? I say it all the time. Ah tay. Confused old man Someone sent me this animation. I'm not sure who it is... Ed Wynn maybe? Jet, frog A jet and a frog. The frog is being touched, and presumably someone in the jet is getting cold. Evil mole Another animation by Emmy. She's got problems. Dell Steve Dude. You're getting a DELL. I miss that guy, I wish they'd bring him back. I never really got a chance to get completely sick of him. Lava lamps I've owned a couple. Bilbo Baggins When I saw Fellowship in the theaters, the scariest part, by far, was the scene where Bilbo suddenly wigs out and tries to poke Frodo's ribs or something. I personally downloaded the entire movie and captured the frames, just so I could have an animated GIF of it. Creepy old hobbit. Earth It's actually a pretty accurate depiction, I think. Yoda I stuck Yoda on the Funk lineup. He's the mastermind behind the whole thing. Supah Funk Beam 6000 If you look in the Usenet Animutation newsgroup (alt.fake.animutation), there's a FAQ which includes details on the exact mechanics and science of the Supah Funk Beam 6000. But to put it in simple terms, it Funks stuff up real good. Macaulay Culkin He's all grown up! And he's Satanic. Calvin and Hobbes animation If you don't know who Calvin and Hobbes are, I want you to go, um, find out.

Quaker Oats guy He's all colorful and surprised and "old fashioned"! Yet another secret message! If you zoom in right under the "old fashioned" sign on the Quaker Oats guy, there's this message: "MY DADD'YS (sic) NAME IS PHILLIP. HE'S A LAWYER". It's a quote from my live action directorial debut, "Billy Triumphs Over Evil", available on www.eviltrailmix.com Dancing dude More animated GIF fun. Mario on keyboard At this part in the song there's some sweet rhodes piano jingling in the background. I decided to attribute it to Mario. Girl's bathroom I bet Patrick Renna knocks on the girl's bathroom all the time. If you know what I mean (I don't.) Happatai Everybody say YATTA!!!! Osama hunny pot I always knew Pooh was a terrorist. Drooling cartoon critter Someone asked me to put this in. I forget who, though. The signature's all distorted. DISOBEY YOUR GRANDPARENTS This advice flashes subliminally right after the "Totaly male sheep too!" line. I wonder if anybody has since I made this Animutation... Distorted Bob Distorted Bob, to whom I gave special thanks to at the end. Money Mmm. Money. Buffo the Clown Yeah, it's Buffo, the strongest clown alive. He was SomethingAwful.com's Awful Link of the Day on August 24th, 2003. I discovered him first. Still having nightmares. Chooch Charles "Chooch" Sergio, my eldest sister's manservant, shows up in the final chorus.

Funny looking guy, huh? Bonzi Buddy Mr. Bean's head takes its place on Bonzi Buddy, the purple monkey of death, and Ha La Loo Ya's one last time. Flickering display of various horrors As the Earth zooms in, lots of sprites flash by one after another. They include: Spider Head Boy, Dell Steve, Colin Mochrie, Michael Jackson, Quaker Oats Guy, Macaulay Culkin, Dubya, Dancing dude, Mario on the keyboard, Sam and Max, Bilbo, Farchie Archie, a crusty eye, a middle finger, Jar Jar, Mighty Mouse, Lesko, the Pringles logo, a spiral, pouting Harry Potter, a not-crusty eye, Spider-Man, "FUNK", Jambi the Genie, Naked Neil, Carrot Top, Buffo, "GO!!", a blue king guy drawing (don't ask), Thoughtful guy, Walken's poncho (with its original owner's head), a poorly drawn speaker, squatting Weird Al, Yoda, a warped pic of Emmy, one of the Yatta guys, Patrick Renna, one of Spider Head Boy's sneakers, a lava lamp, the Japanese shemale guy, Mr. Bean, the drooling critter, George Lucas, Alvin, and Distorted Bob. Dear lord, why did I type all of that? Honestly, who cares? Michelangelo's Carrot Top Probably the most haunting image in the whole thing. Carrot Top's gawking mug is on a statue of a nekkid man. Even though it's art, I thought showing the dangly parts would be just a little too freaky, so I covered it with the Pringles logo (I had to think for a very long time before I decided what to use as a censor. Pringles works so perfectly.) I tried to make it so you could click and drag the logo away, revealing the face of Matty Evans, but for some reason it doesn't seem to work. Jambi the Genie From Pee Wee's Playhouse. What a guy. Dedication I won't go into it, but Brandon, Alvin and Srinath were friends of Bob, an Animutation fan, who were killed by a drunk driver. I dedicated it to them for him, and gave him a special thanks, as well as a cameo (see Distorted Bob.) Wile E. Coyote If you right click and play the movie from the end, Wile shows up with his sign: "STOP in the name of humanity". That crazy dude was always trying to get that bird, but he never could, ever!! HAHAHA. And there you have it, Earth vs. Funk. It seems pretty clear in the end that FUNK wins, but on the other hand if I had called it "Monkey Frisbee Romp" you probably wouldn't even be aware of any sort of epic battle being portrayed. Quite interesting, how the title shapes our whole perception of the animation. That and the Warhol banana. Ah tay!

By Neil Cicierega, 2003


								
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