JOKES A little Presidential humor 1 Most people get AIDS
Shared by: arby1995
A little Presidential humor ... 1) Most people get AIDS from sex; but President Clinton gets sex from aides. 2)President Clinton: "I didn't say to lie in the deposition! I said lie in that position! 3) The price of oil has skyrocketed; rumor has it that the President is drilling in the White House again. 4)There's a new game in the White House. It's called "Swallow the Leader" 5) The latest on Zippergate: President Clinton's name has been recently identified with the : UNABANGER. What did Clinton say to Al Gore about the whole affair? Pardon me. Why does Clinton invite so many women into the oval office? To show them the executive branch. Why does Hilary wear the pants in the White House? Because Bill can't keep his on! Most people are concerned about AIDS when having sex... Bill Clinton is concerned about aids who will have sex. Why does Bill Clinton wish he was like Ted Kennedy? Because Kennedy has an ex-wife and a dead girlfriend. Has the President changed his official title? Yes, from Commander in Chief to Semen First Class. What did Monica get Bill for Christmas? An erector set. What's the moral of tailgate? Never date a girl who isn't willing to swallow the evidence. What's the second moral? It's not what you know but who you blow. How can you tell which one of the White House interns is the head of intern? It's the one with the dirty knees. WHAT'S AL GORE'S ADVICE TO BILL CLINTON? TAKE A SKI VACATION! There's a new game being played in Washington... It's called swallow the leader. What do Al Gore and Jerry Ford have in common? They both got promoted because of crooked dicks.If Clinton survives the scandal, he will appear on a new US coin... The words "In God we Trust'' will be replaced with "oral sex doesn't count." Why does Bill's limousine have a sunroof? More leg room. What does bill say to Hillary after sex? I'll be home in 20 minutes. Why does Bill Clinton wear underwear? To keep his ankles warm. What did Monica Lewinsky say when offered a position at the UN? Would that be a missionary position? President Clinton, what do you want to do about this abortion bill? Pay it. How did Bill Clinton reply regarding questions of "coaching" Monica's testimony? "It wasn't words I put into her mouth." What's Hillary's new nickname for Bills penis? The Titanic, because more than 1,500 interns went down on it. What's Clinton's new secret service code name? The Unabanger. What do Bill and Ross Perot have in common? They both heard a giant sucking sound. ALMOST A VIRGIN A woman, getting married for the sixth time, goes to a bridal shop and asks for a white dress. "You can’t wear white" reminds the sales clerk, "You’ve been married five times already." "Of course I can, I’m almost a virgin." says the bride "Impossible" says the sales clerk. "Unfortunately not," the bride explained: "My first husband was a Psychologist, all he wanted to do was = talk about it." "My second husband was a Gynecologist, all he wanted to do was look at it." "My third husband was an artist, all he wanted to do was paint it." "My fourth husband was a philosopher, and all he wanted to do was think about it." "My fifth husband was a stamp collector ---- God I miss him!!!!! PERIOD The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report on something exciting, so she asked him just what that was. "It's a period." reported Johnnie. "Well I can see that" she said, "but what is so exciting about a period?" "Damned if I know" said Johnnie, "but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself."