Parenting SEVEN THINGS CHILDREN NEED: Significance , Security , Acceptance , Love , Praise , Discipline and God. The Need for Acceptance: If a child lives with criticism. He learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule, He learns to be shy. If a child lives with shame, He learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement, He learns confidence. If a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice. If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith. If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself. If a child lives with Acceptance and friendship, He learns to find love in the world. BOTTOM LINES FOR PARENTS: 1.Scrupulously avoid arguing in front of your children. 2.Strive to model constant affection and self-sacrifice. 3.Avoid bad language, crass jokes, violence and objectionable material on Television. 4.Don't leave it up to others to provide stimulation for your child. 5.Don't be sarcastic or critical of persons who are not present. 6.Don't talk more enthusiastically about self-centered activities than about service to others. 7.Surround your children with hope and idealism. WORK ON THREE VIRTUES SO ATTRACTIVE IN A PARENT: 8.Gratitude - Start with loving diligent care for your own parents. Children will imitate what they experience! Gratitude always brings joy. 9.Humility - opens the door to genuine respect. Learn to apologies. Resist the temptation to possess a child, or clone to accord with your image of yourself. 10.Fortitude - In a comfortable society, fortitude can be the rarest of character qualities. Follow up issues, but not with a hard-nosed demandingly. Unless it is driven by love for others, fortitude is worthless and not a good example for anyone. FATHERS AND DAUGHTERS: Why should some rough-edged teenage boy get the first shot at a candlelight dinner with your girl? You be her first date. Invite her out. Choose a nice restaurant. Treat her like a princess. The future boy will have his hands full, trying to compete with you. When she's had some big event or success-graduation, recital, birthday---go nuts! Be the one to send her a card (really mail it) and flowers and candy and whatever else you can think of. Girls whose fathers act like crazy about them feel much closer to their fathers and much less in need of finding it all "out there" Deliver the goods - along with your heart. FATHERS AND SONS: When your boy starts acting "tough" you, as a father, have three choices for how you'll react. If you let it go or even egg these behaviors on, soon the behaviors will be out of control. Your son can't live successfully without self-control, and he won't like himself very much—or you for allowing it--either. You can also respond to the tough- guy stuff by squelching it with you own warrior spirit: "I'm bigger than you and tougher than you, so I say sit down and shut up!" That's dad control, BUT it fails to teach your boy self-control. The best way to handle your son is to be an example and show him the tough-and-tender aspects of manhood, then help him develop self-control so he can live them out. It's great to hang out with your son, decide with your son that you're going to be true friends, and then do it. Guys have certain hair milestones that you and your son can share. You can take your son for his first haircut. Your son's first shave is also a biggie. At the first sight of a whisker (or fuzz), take him to pick up his own razor, smells all the shaving creams, and talk about how it's done. And talk a bit about being a man while you're at it. HEART: Some stormy night, tell your kids a story of a little girl or( boy) lost in a dark and unfamiliar landscape. Scary sounds come from the woods around her. The people she passes look unfriendly and refuse to help her; some even laugh at her plight. She begins to panic: What should I do? Where should I go? Doesn't anybody care about me? Then she sees a house with a light. As she gets closer, she's amazed to hear her favorite music from inside. On the door is a sign with her Name on it and the word WELCOME. She goes in to love and safety. Tell your kids that house is your HEART ...... The music will always be playing, and the welcome sign will always be out for them.