5 Ways We Create Stress and Self-Sabotage by toriola1


									                                                 Presented by Daniel Toriola

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                                         5 Ways We Create Stress and Self-Sabotage
                                                                 By Janie Behr

   Overreacting to stressful situations is a form of “self-sabotage” that causes emotional stress.

 Everyone experiences stress; sometimes the way we react to stress amounts to self-sabotage! We’ve
all found ourselves impatient with people or taking our frustrations out on others, or causing
unnecessary conflicts because stress is clouding our judgment. And while some people find
themselves creating this type of drama in their lives occasionally, others make this self-sabotage a way
of life, continually creating additional emotional stress for themselves without being aware of their own
role in this!

 The following are some of the most common ways that people create stress in their own lives.
Carefully think about whether any of these self-sabotage techniques apply to you, so you can make
simple changes to reduce significant stress from your life.

Being “Type A”:

 People who move through the world in a “Type A” pattern of behavior rush frantically and treat others
with hostility. If you react to life in a “Type A” manner, you’re probably bringing unnecessary emotional
stress to relationships with aggressiveness. You may be missing simple solutions to problems because
you’re rushing so much that you don’t pay attention to details; doing so, you also create bigger

Negative Self Talk:

 Sometimes, the enemy is inside your head in the form of negative self-talk. The way we talk to
ourselves forms during childhood and can follow us through our lives. Those whose self-talk tends to
be negative may attribute malevolent intent to others when none exists, interpret potentially positive
events as negative and missing important benefits, or create a self-fulfilling prophecy by believing their
stress level is more than they can handle. If you suspect that you habitually use negative self-talk in
your daily life, it’s not too late to learn positive self-talk.

 By keeping a journal, using positive affirmations and surrounding yourself with positive energy, you
can turn things around for the better, and experience much less stress in your daily life.

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                                                  Presented by Daniel Toriola

Poor Conflict Resolution Skills:

 Do you tend to act aggressively with people when simple assertiveness will work better? Or do you
passively let others walk all over you because you don’t know how to say no? Conflicts with others are
generally a part of life, but how we handle them can strengthen relationships, or can cause additional
stress and create bigger conflicts. Many people who act aggressively aren’t fully aware that they’re
doing harm in their relationships, and aren’t familiar with a better way of handling things.


 If you’re a pessimist, you may see things as worse than they really are, may pass up opportunities to
better your situation and overlook solutions to problems. Pessimism is more than just seeing the glass
as half-empty; it’s a specific worldview that undermines your belief in yourself, brings poorer health
outcomes, fewer positive life events, and other negative consequences.

Taking On Too Much:

 Are you overscheduled and overstressed? You may be taking on too much, and putting yourself under
undue pressure because of it. Whether it’s because you’re a “Type A” type person or because you’re
not sure how to say no to others’ demands on your time, you can put yourself in a state of chronic
stress if you habitually take on more than you can handle.

Janie Behr, a qualified life coach, specializes in helping baby boomers and mid-lifers achieve their
goals, and explore all life’s possibilities. She is available for private individual coaching, group coaching
and public speaking. For more information please visit http://www.jblifecoach.com.

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                                                                                                           Page 2
                                                 Presented by Daniel Toriola

                                                       How to Avoid Self Sabotage
                                                                By Drew Stevens

 With the conclusion of the year, holiday stress, and economic pendulum swings, it is very easy to
self-sabotage. Statistics prove that internal stress is the key factor in self-sabotage. More important, we
sabotage because we focus on negative aspects; we focus on failure. Research shows that individuals
have a fear of failure, but too often the real problem is fear of success. Failure is a manifestation of
looking at the past. Our success lies in the future. Self-sabotage is really a form of denial. It also brings
up the question of what is versus what can be. To avoid sabotage you must respect YOU and you
must view the future. You must learn to love yourself.

Are you going to allow the negative self-talk or are you going to build a better future, brick by brick?
There are seven vital techniques to avert sabotage.

1. Self-Talk - Terminate the negative self-talk. Negative behavior and talk stimulates depression and
anxiety. You must look in the mirror; understand the positive aspects you provide. Create positive
speak, avoid negative terminology, and change your body mechanics. Smile at others and smile at

2. Failure - Simply avoid it. Do the things you hate to do first. Sabotage stems from individuals
believing they will fail if they attempt something uncomfortable. Not true. Failure is learning, creativity,
and innovation. Some of our famous ancestors failed and created great things. King, Lincoln, Bell, and
others believed they failed, only to have their dreams come true. Stop worrying about failure; it is the
best education. However, in order to fail you must confront it head on and remove yourself from the
comfort zone. Stop procrastinating today!

3. Positive People - Depression and anxiety manifest when we gather with other negative people. Avert
disaster by moving away from those that depress you. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill
discusses the power of the Mastermind, small groups that share similar desires educating each other.
Move away from those that anger you and befriend those that awaken your dreams, incite your
desires, and expose your creativity.

4. Passion - Conviction and love is movement. Passion ignites the mind and the soul. Self-sabotage
arrives when you work at a job. Life is too short for employment with organizations that treat you as a
liability. Moreover, working for something that you abhor makes you remorseful. Find opportunities that
ignite your spirit and provide a sense of purpose.

5. Self-Esteem/Confidence - Self-sabotage requires the elimination of limiting beliefs. What is a limiting
belief? Limiting beliefs are those things you believe that place limitations on your abilities. Such beliefs
are true and others false, but we use them as a brake to deter us from making what appears
impossible, possible. For example, many individuals state, "I do not have proper experienceI will not
get the job I want." Alternatively, others state "I do not have any luckI will never meet the decision
maker." The level of experience might be true. Your level of experience and skill might hinder certain
jobs but if you do not apply, you do not get the job! If you desire luck, try sitting in a gambling hall. Luck
does not create opportunities; experience, aggression, and focus get the decision maker.

Our mind creates limitations from things we experience and habits we form. You must reset your

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                                                Presented by Daniel Toriola

internal GPS to determination, then you set you mind to accomplish anything you desire. Don't believe
it? Determination ended a bloody Civil War, brought a man to the moon and gave us our first African
American president! Confidence begins with a belief in YOU!

6. Pleasure - The easiest method for ending self-sabotage is doing pleasurable things. Misery creates
company, but pleasure manifests power. Take the time to do things you love to do: listen to music,
read a book, take a walk. Scientists have proved that our mind requires rest. Thinking of negative
issues and limiting beliefs creates energy and polarizes our thinking. Conducting pleasurable activities
produces endorphins in the brain that relax the mind and decrease our breathing and heart rate.

7. Action - The difference between "fortunate" and insignificant individuals: they take action.
Self-sabotage is embodied from habits. Detaching habits takes time: 21 days exactly. If you truly desire
change then you must take actionable steps to eliminate your self-sabotage. Set timeframes that are

Creating a toned and symmetrical body takes time and energy. You cannot go to the gymnasium once
and expect a favorable result. Change takes time, effort, and, most important, discomfort. Get out of
your comfort zone, indulge in (good) pain, and eradicate self-sabotage forever!

Seeking a method to get over the economic blues? Want to determine where to find the needle in the
economic haystack? Drew Stevens is hosting a FREE teleseminar on Thriving in a Volatile Economy,
find out more at http://TinyWebLink-001.com/?pid=4542695

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                                             Presented by Daniel Toriola

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