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THE PUBLIC ZONE WANTS AND NEEDS

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THE PUBLIC ZONE WANTS AND NEEDS Powered By Docstoc
					                               ESSENTIAL WANTS AND NEEDS
                              THE PUBLIC ZONE WANTS AND NEEDS

1.    The Want / Need for Safety.
      You need to feel free to explore the Public Zone and to go where you please. You are unafraid of
      travelling or of being with strangers.

2.    The Want / Need for Excitement.
      You need to do new things and different things so that you aren’t falling into the same rut each day,
      doing the same things, thinking the same thoughts, and feeling the same emotions. You expose
      yourself to new perspectives.

3.    The Want / Need for Exploration.
      You need consciously to break your own patterns of travel, communication, and use of space. It
      mans you literally move your body through the world in different ways.

4.    The Want / Need for Freedom.
      You need both internal and external freedom. You are not restricted through your own fears or
      someone else’s control.

5.    The Want / Need for Information.
      You need to know what is happening in the world, where things are, what is new and exciting, the
      places and people you might wish to explore. It is like knowing how to use the public library,
      with the entire Public Zone as your card catalogue and reference shelf.

6.    The Want / Need for Access.
      You need modes of transportation to get places, just as you need information media to learn. These
      are a vital Public Zone need.

7.    The Want / Need for Citizenship.
      You need to have a country that is your country, a city that is your city, a territory that is your area.
      It means you have public rights in these places.

8.    The Want / Need for Skill.
      You need to know and to be adept at getting information, making contact with the people, knowing
      how to behave in the Public Zone.

9.    The Want / Need for Flirtation.
      You need to know that you’re attractive and to compliment others on their attractiveness. It means
      letting other people know you are there. It is not so much sexual as it is a need for acceptance from
      members of both sexes.

10.   The Want / Need for Intelligence.
      You need “street smarts” and the “social smarts” of knowing what areas, what times, what people to
      get to know and whom and what to avoid.




                Compiled by Sophia E.W. Strydom - Psychologist/ Sielkundige 082 823 8510
                             THE SOCIAL ZONE WANTS AND NEEDS

1.    The Want / Need for Activity.
      This is the need to do things: work, play, socialise, almost anything. The essential feature is the
      doing with other people. It means that you don’t let depression or inconvenience stop you from
      taking action and doing things with other people.

2.    The Want / Need for Success.
      You need to know how to succeed in the Social Zone. For each activity there are inner and outer
      success criteria. To meet your outer criteria you need recognition by others that you are doing well,
      and to meet your inner criteria you yourself have to acknowledge when you do well. To satisfy the
      need for success, both criteria require fulfilment.

3.    The Want / Need for Competence.
      You need to know how to do things well in the Social Zone. This means knowing how to meet your
      Social Zone needs through activities. When you are competent in the Social Zone, you recognise the
      competence of others. You don’t have to come out on top everywhere.

4.    The Want / Need for Performance.
      You need to perform whatever you are doing the best you can. This means feeling yourself taking
      action. You are establishing your place in the world through your actions.

5.    The Want / Need for Participation.
      In the Social Zone, whatever you do, you do with somebody else. There are times when you do
      things alone in the Social Zone, but the need for participation generally requires your connection
      with another person.

6.    The Want / Need for Respect.
      You need to be respected for what you do and how you do it. This means that the activity you are
      doing is important to you and to those with whom you do it.

7.    The Want / Need for a Group.
      You need to have peers for different Social Zone activities. There are work peers, sports peers, and
      social peers. The need for a social group in which you are accepted as one of the crowd is important.

8.    The Want / Need for Fun.
      You need to experience joy, humour, and lightheartedness. To get these things you have to relax
      your defences.

9.    The Want / Need for Health.
      You need to be free of major illness and drug and alcohol problems.

10.   The Want / Need for Sex.
      You need to have sex just for the pleasure of the activity.




                Compiled by Sophia E.W. Strydom - Psychologist/ Sielkundige 082 823 8510
                      THE PERSONAL ZONE WANTS AND NEEDS

1.    The Want / Need for Closeness.
      This is the need for personal interaction. It means knowing you care about someone and someone
      cares about you. This caring is not related to what you do or to your status.

2.    The Want / Need for Sharing.
      You need to be able to share what you think and feel without judgement. This requires skills to
      express yourself and to listen.

3.    The Want / Need for Growth.
      You need to know that you can change and that you are not stuck where you are. This is the need
      for stimulation and excitement based on knowing how your personality operates and how the
      personalities of others operate.

4.    The Want / Need for Self-knowledge.
      You need to know what you feel and why, what your goals are and how to get there, how your
      mind works and how to control it. This means having insight into your own life.

5.    The Want / Need for Feelings.
      You need to know the difference between your feelings and your emotions.Emotions are those
      reactions that resemble neurochemical storms over which you may or may not have much control,
      while feelings give you basic awareness of your sensations, your body energy, and your sexual
      pleasure. Both make it possible for you to cry, to get angry, to be joyous. They reflect a strong
      life energy.

6.    The Want / Need for Pleasure.
      You need to know the most fundamental reward of being alive. It is having direct access to what
      gives you the good feelings about being alive.

7.    The Want / Need for Caring.
      You need support, concern, stroking, understanding, and the motivation that comes from
      receiving affection from others.

8.    The Want / Need for Caring for Others.
      You need to give concern, strokes, understanding, and motivation to others.

9.    The Want / Need for Friends.
      You need people in the Personal Zone who know what it means to be friends, people whom you
      trust and who trust you. You need friends of the same sex and friends of the opposite sex.

10.   The Want / Need for Sex.
      You need sexual pleasure derived from letting yourself enjoy completely your own and someone
      else’s affection and desire.

11.   The Want / Need for Mutual Respect
      You need to give and get respect. This means that there is no calculation of special status or
      social hierarchy. It means you are able to sense the self of another person and he or she can sense
      your self.

12.   The Want / Need for Equality
      You need to be able to stand side by side with someone you care deeply about and know you are
      equal.



          Compiled by Sophia E.W. Strydom - Psychologist/ Sielkundige 082 823 8510
                    THE INTIMATE ZONE WANTS AND NEEDS

1.   The Want / Need for Love.
     You need to be connected to another person and have that special feeling of contact,
     bond, and attachment.

2.   The Want / Need for Understanding.
     You need to understand yourself and have someone else understand you. This means you
     and someone else have taken the time to get to know each other so as to interact more
     deeply.

3.   The Want / Need for Truth.
     You need to tell the truth and hear it from someone who cares about you. This is a loving
     truth that supports and builds no matter how painful it may be when you first hear it.

4.   The Want / Need for Altruism.
     You need to do for others out of the goodness of your own heart. You need to care about
     the welfare of another without seeking reward.

5.   The Want / Need for Bonding.
     You need to connect with another adult in those moments when you totally let down your
     defences.

6.   The Want / Need for Spiritual Understanding.
     You need to have experiences and to explore the complex nature of the universe and
     man’s place in it.

7.   The Want / Need for Sex.
     You need a loving and totally free sexual relationship where the medium of exchange is
     sexual love.




             




         Compiled by Sophia E.W. Strydom - Psychologist/ Sielkundige 082 823 8510
WANTS AND NEEDS
Be extremely specific when you make up your list of WANTS AND NEEDS. The better you are
able to define your WANTS AND NEEDS, the closer you will be to becoming an ASSERTIVE
person. Go into detail about your WANTS AND NEEDS, outline the specific financial
arrangements you would like. The more you know about what you WANT AND NEED, the
better your chances of getting it.

THINGS I WANT / NEED from spouse, friend, lover, children, parents, boss etc.
I want to be treated with respect.
I want to be allowed to express myself.
I want to be heard.
I want to be taken seriously.
I want understanding.
I want equality in the relationship.
I want the right to my own beliefs and opinions.
I want to participate in activities that are important to me, not just the ones that he/she selects.

THINGS I WANT / NEED for myself (Personal Goals)
I want to go back to school.
I want to spend more time with friends / or family.
I want to take a holiday on my own.
I want to get a job.
I want to improve my career opportunities.
I want more help with the housework.
I want more help with the children.

THINGS I WON’T PERMIT ANYMORE
 won’t permit him/her to yell at me.
I won’t permit him/her to insult me.
I won’t permit him/her to discount me.
I won’t permit him/her to control me and tell me what to do.
I won’t permit him/her to humiliate me.

THINGS I AM PREPARED TO DO
I am prepared to do the cooking.
I am prepared to pay for the food, the maid and clothes for myself.
I am prepared to work in the mornings.
I am prepared to take responsibility for my own accounts.

THINGS I AM NOT PREPARED TO DO
I am not prepared to put the dishes in the dishwasher after meals.
I am not prepared to pay the rent, phone account or electricity account.
I am not prepared to work all day.
I am not prepared to take responsibility for his/her accounts.




            Compiled by Sophia E.W. Strydom - Psychologist/ Sielkundige 082 823 8510
WANTS AND NEEDS
Be extremely specific when you make up your list of WANTS AND NEEDS. The better you are
able to define your WANTS AND NEEDS, the closer you will be to becoming an ASSERTIVE
person. Go into detail about your WANTS AND NEEDS, outline the specific financial
arrangements you would like. The more you know about what you WANT AND NEED, the
better your chances of getting it.

THINGS I WANT / NEED from spouse, friend, lover, children, parents, boss etc.




THINGS I WANT / NEED for myself (Personal Goals)




THINGS I WON’T PERMIT ANYMORE




THINGS I AM PREPARED TO DO




THINGS I AM NOT PREPARED TO DO




           Compiled by Sophia E.W. Strydom - Psychologist/ Sielkundige 082 823 8510

				
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Description: THE PUBLIC ZONE WANTS AND NEEDS