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					                 Claremont Clarion
                The newsletter of the Rotary Club of Claremont
             “The Club with the cherry on the top”

President: Peter Rogers               Editorial email:p.rogers@absamail.co.za
Secretary: Maurice Bergoff            Meetings:       Kelvin Grove
P O Box 23163, Claremont, 7736                        Campground Road
Editor Peter Rogers                                   Newlands
Assistant Editor: Brian Bohlmann                      Cape Town 7700
Comment Writer:                       Web page:www.rotary-claremont.org.za
                                      Meetings:  Tuesdays 18h15 for 18h45

Club email: claremont@rotary9350.co.za               „phone 685 6551 Fax 685 6676

                                 Disclaimer

The opinions expressed in the Clarion are purely those of the editors and do not
necessarily reflect the opinion of The Rotary Club of Claremont, the Club President, or
the Rotary organisation.

Volume 35: No 05.                                    Tuesday, 29 July 2008


                     JULY IS LITERACY MONTH


                                     SPOTS

   Lesley Satchel: Lesley and her husband, PDG John from the Knysna Rotary Club
    attended our meeting and Lesley (President last year) thanked the Club for our
    contribution to their project involving Development Cycling. Some of the Development
    Cyclists had ridden in their club‟s recent Cycle Race during the Oyster Festival.

   George Viljoen (for Henry Septoe, who was to have stood in for Ken Sturgeon):
    Community Services Committee is to meet on Saturday morning 26th July at 09h00 at
    the Events Office for a special session. Meeting will be over by 12h00 (no rugby on
    Saturday!)
   Rochelle Myers: Introduced us to the Club‟s new Exchange student, Lacey Hinkle, from
    Phoenix, Arizona. Lacey is at school at Camps Bay High, and is currently staying with
    Ellen Kunath, in Hout Bay. Ellen was also introduced.

   Mark Lancaster: As Peter Rogers was on holiday, Mark took the opportunity to explain
    the changes to the structure of our meetings and the Subscription for the new Rotary
    year. Subs are to be increased from R650 to R720 (and not R800 as originally mooted).
    With average member fines amounting to R118 annually now no longer payable, we
    would actually be better off (R650 + R118 = R768). We should also remember that the
    Club often subsidises members‟ meals during the year (3 x R50), and gave each
    member a jacket last year (R230). No fines, Sergeant now is the Master of Ceremonies.

   Keith Poole: Their Club, Breede River Winelands had received financial assistance from
    Claremont‟s outreach program, for which he thanked us. Their investigation into „Cob-
    housing” (mud-and-straw bricks) had indicated that it was not really a cheaper
    alternative to normal brick. The McGregor Development Forum suggested that they
    assist a privately owned, but very poorly funded Pre-Primary School. This was where
    the money was to be spent.

            MASTER OF CEREMONIES‟ SPOT
       Jaap Dekker made history by being the first Master of Ceremonies. He amused all
        those present with some quick quiz-questions which had misleading introductory
        lines, catching lots of people with wrong answers viz., “if a red house has red bricks,
        a blue one blue bricks, what colour are a greenhouse‟s bricks?” Not green, a
        greenhouse is made of glass! He was at a bit of a loss as to how he should handle
        Roy Cheek‟s indiscretion in accepting a cell phone call ……. unable to fine him, he
        suggested Roy buy the members of his table a round of drinks as penance.

                         PRESIDENT‟S SPOT
    Past President Paul Roux, substituting for Peter Rogers who was away on holiday
    welcomed the following visitors:
       Keith Poole (Breede River Winelands Club) together with his wife Marilyn.
       John Jacobs, guest of Tony da Silva.
       Denver Meyer, prospective member.
       Lacey Hinkle, our new exchange student, and host parent, Ellen Kunath.
       Derek Wrankmore, Waterfront Club
       John and Lesley Satchel, Knysna Club.

       Paul told us that he had been contacted by the SABC TV about doing a feature on
        the KidzPositive beadwork program for Top Billing. He suspected that the last-
        minute haste with which all this happened had something to do with the fact that the
        SABC had not realised that July had 5, and not 4 Tuesdays. Probably just a „stand-
        in‟, he thought ….. this reminded him of an old friend who had married in the
        meantime, but was on her own in Cape Town for the day. She desperately needed
        someone to accompany her to a function. She told him she had contacted all her
        male „gay‟ friends, but no one could come, so, could Paul come? Another „stand-in‟?
        The program is due to be screened this Thursday, July 24, on Top Billing.

       Next week is a Partners‟ Evening - 07h00 for 07h30.
                                            SPEAKER
               My Job-talk : Tony da Siva.
                Tony was introduced in humorous style by Jo Maxwell. Having received a pathetic
                little CV from Tony, himself, she searched the Internet for better material, but still
                drew a blank. So she contacted his mother and extracted from her, in her broken
                Portuguese/English that: 1) he was a single man; b) he lived in Lakeside with two
                people, both called Jack Russell; c) he was a member of the 4 x 5-Club, and that he
                „loves fishing with his fly‟.
               Tony gave us a very professional presentation of his job, which is principally that of
                supplying the roofing industry with special fasteners Australian self-drilling, self-
                tapping screws in different qualities for different applications and weather
                conditions.
               Frank Muggleston thanked Tony.

                                          DUTY ROSTER
If you are unable to do your duty for unforeseeable circumstances please arrange a stand-in and let the MC
for that meeting know and please inform the Chief MC, Frank Muggleston on 0823202096



       Date                  July 29              August 5            August 12           August 19
      Venue
                          PARTNERS               Kelvin Grove        Kelvin Grove        Kelvin Grove
                           EVENING             6.15 For 6.45pm         6.15 For        6.15 For 6.45pm
                          Kelvin Grove                                 6.45pm
                          7 for 7.30pm
    Master of             Alain Huchon          Lionel Morkel      Rochelle Myers     Lionel Overmeyer
   Ceremonies
   Attendance              Jo Maxwell/           Jo Maxwell/         James Louw/        Debbie Nash/
                        Lionel Overmeyer         James Louw          Debbie Nash         Paul Roux

    Fellowship           Rochelle Myers        Brian Bohlmann       Gill Bohlmann        Eion Brown
       Grace               John Ryall             Paul Roux         Henry Septoe        Peter Trebble
  Intro. Speaker          Ken Sturgeon                                                      TBA

      Speaker           Graham Kissack           Committee            Business          Membership
                       „Running the Race‟         Meetings            Meeting           Development
                                                                                          evening
 Thank Speaker            Lionel Morkel                                                     TBA
 Four Way Test;           John Burdes            Neil Jeffrey         Roy Cheek         Tony da Silva
Comment/Editorial
  Asst. Editor            Gill Bohlmann          Eion Brown          John Burdes      John Burningham
    Rotaract                                    Paul de Groot/
  Attendance                                    Tony da Silva
                       Anniversaries & Birthdays
JULY
31          Gill                        BOHLMANN       Birthday
31          Peter                       TREBBLE        Birthday



AUGUST
 3          Rochelle                    MYERS          Birthday



                    Best wishes to all of you and many more.

                        FORTHCOMING EVENTS.
29 July 2008        Partners Evening
9 November 2008     Cape Times Discovery Big Walk
2 December 2008     DG Visit
8 March 2009        Cape Argus Pick n Pay Cycle Tour


                                 FOR A LAUGH
NATAL CURRY CONTEST
Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was
visiting from America.
Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a
Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last
moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table
asking for directions to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I
was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry
wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have
free beer during the tasting, so I accepted".

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -what the hell is this stuff? You could
remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put
the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are
crazy.

CURRY #2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chilli tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken
seriously.
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure
what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two
people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre! They had to
rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chilli peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium pill. My nose feels
like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the
routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded
me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest.
I'm getting sozzled from all the beer.

CURRY # 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for
fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was
unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds?
Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills.
That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear
waste I'm eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac?

CURRY # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER...
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit
the chilli peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead
and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind
me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told
her that her chilli had given me brain damage.
Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on
to it from the pitcher.
I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. The other judges asked me to
stop screaming.

CURRY # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY...
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance
of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and
garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with
gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind
me except Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my
body with a snow cone ice-cream.

CURRY # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY...

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned
peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a
can of chilli peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at
this stage that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in
a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably).
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin,
and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the
world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered
with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full
of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll
know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing- it's too
painful. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch
hole in my stomach.



CURRY # 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY...
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not
too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither
mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3
farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top
of himself.

Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have
reacted to really hot curry?




         Please share the Clarion with your partner in Rotary

                            Have a great day.

				
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