Claremont Clarion The newsletter of the Rotary Club of Claremont “The Club with the cherry on the top” President: Peter Rogers Editorial email:email@example.com Secretary: Maurice Bergoff Meetings: Kelvin Grove P O Box 23163, Claremont, 7736 Campground Road Editor Peter Rogers Newlands Assistant Editor: Brian Bohlmann Cape Town 7700 Comment Writer: Web page:www.rotary-claremont.org.za Meetings: Tuesdays 18h15 for 18h45 Club email: firstname.lastname@example.org „phone 685 6551 Fax 685 6676 Disclaimer The opinions expressed in the Clarion are purely those of the editors and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of The Rotary Club of Claremont, the Club President, or the Rotary organisation. Volume 35: No 05. Tuesday, 29 July 2008 JULY IS LITERACY MONTH SPOTS Lesley Satchel: Lesley and her husband, PDG John from the Knysna Rotary Club attended our meeting and Lesley (President last year) thanked the Club for our contribution to their project involving Development Cycling. Some of the Development Cyclists had ridden in their club‟s recent Cycle Race during the Oyster Festival. George Viljoen (for Henry Septoe, who was to have stood in for Ken Sturgeon): Community Services Committee is to meet on Saturday morning 26th July at 09h00 at the Events Office for a special session. Meeting will be over by 12h00 (no rugby on Saturday!) Rochelle Myers: Introduced us to the Club‟s new Exchange student, Lacey Hinkle, from Phoenix, Arizona. Lacey is at school at Camps Bay High, and is currently staying with Ellen Kunath, in Hout Bay. Ellen was also introduced. Mark Lancaster: As Peter Rogers was on holiday, Mark took the opportunity to explain the changes to the structure of our meetings and the Subscription for the new Rotary year. Subs are to be increased from R650 to R720 (and not R800 as originally mooted). With average member fines amounting to R118 annually now no longer payable, we would actually be better off (R650 + R118 = R768). We should also remember that the Club often subsidises members‟ meals during the year (3 x R50), and gave each member a jacket last year (R230). No fines, Sergeant now is the Master of Ceremonies. Keith Poole: Their Club, Breede River Winelands had received financial assistance from Claremont‟s outreach program, for which he thanked us. Their investigation into „Cob- housing” (mud-and-straw bricks) had indicated that it was not really a cheaper alternative to normal brick. The McGregor Development Forum suggested that they assist a privately owned, but very poorly funded Pre-Primary School. This was where the money was to be spent. MASTER OF CEREMONIES‟ SPOT Jaap Dekker made history by being the first Master of Ceremonies. He amused all those present with some quick quiz-questions which had misleading introductory lines, catching lots of people with wrong answers viz., “if a red house has red bricks, a blue one blue bricks, what colour are a greenhouse‟s bricks?” Not green, a greenhouse is made of glass! He was at a bit of a loss as to how he should handle Roy Cheek‟s indiscretion in accepting a cell phone call ……. unable to fine him, he suggested Roy buy the members of his table a round of drinks as penance. PRESIDENT‟S SPOT Past President Paul Roux, substituting for Peter Rogers who was away on holiday welcomed the following visitors: Keith Poole (Breede River Winelands Club) together with his wife Marilyn. John Jacobs, guest of Tony da Silva. Denver Meyer, prospective member. Lacey Hinkle, our new exchange student, and host parent, Ellen Kunath. Derek Wrankmore, Waterfront Club John and Lesley Satchel, Knysna Club. Paul told us that he had been contacted by the SABC TV about doing a feature on the KidzPositive beadwork program for Top Billing. He suspected that the last- minute haste with which all this happened had something to do with the fact that the SABC had not realised that July had 5, and not 4 Tuesdays. Probably just a „stand- in‟, he thought ….. this reminded him of an old friend who had married in the meantime, but was on her own in Cape Town for the day. She desperately needed someone to accompany her to a function. She told him she had contacted all her male „gay‟ friends, but no one could come, so, could Paul come? Another „stand-in‟? The program is due to be screened this Thursday, July 24, on Top Billing. Next week is a Partners‟ Evening - 07h00 for 07h30. SPEAKER My Job-talk : Tony da Siva. Tony was introduced in humorous style by Jo Maxwell. Having received a pathetic little CV from Tony, himself, she searched the Internet for better material, but still drew a blank. So she contacted his mother and extracted from her, in her broken Portuguese/English that: 1) he was a single man; b) he lived in Lakeside with two people, both called Jack Russell; c) he was a member of the 4 x 5-Club, and that he „loves fishing with his fly‟. Tony gave us a very professional presentation of his job, which is principally that of supplying the roofing industry with special fasteners Australian self-drilling, self- tapping screws in different qualities for different applications and weather conditions. Frank Muggleston thanked Tony. DUTY ROSTER If you are unable to do your duty for unforeseeable circumstances please arrange a stand-in and let the MC for that meeting know and please inform the Chief MC, Frank Muggleston on 0823202096 Date July 29 August 5 August 12 August 19 Venue PARTNERS Kelvin Grove Kelvin Grove Kelvin Grove EVENING 6.15 For 6.45pm 6.15 For 6.15 For 6.45pm Kelvin Grove 6.45pm 7 for 7.30pm Master of Alain Huchon Lionel Morkel Rochelle Myers Lionel Overmeyer Ceremonies Attendance Jo Maxwell/ Jo Maxwell/ James Louw/ Debbie Nash/ Lionel Overmeyer James Louw Debbie Nash Paul Roux Fellowship Rochelle Myers Brian Bohlmann Gill Bohlmann Eion Brown Grace John Ryall Paul Roux Henry Septoe Peter Trebble Intro. Speaker Ken Sturgeon TBA Speaker Graham Kissack Committee Business Membership „Running the Race‟ Meetings Meeting Development evening Thank Speaker Lionel Morkel TBA Four Way Test; John Burdes Neil Jeffrey Roy Cheek Tony da Silva Comment/Editorial Asst. Editor Gill Bohlmann Eion Brown John Burdes John Burningham Rotaract Paul de Groot/ Attendance Tony da Silva Anniversaries & Birthdays JULY 31 Gill BOHLMANN Birthday 31 Peter TREBBLE Birthday AUGUST 3 Rochelle MYERS Birthday Best wishes to all of you and many more. FORTHCOMING EVENTS. 29 July 2008 Partners Evening 9 November 2008 Cape Times Discovery Big Walk 2 December 2008 DG Visit 8 March 2009 Cape Argus Pick n Pay Cycle Tour FOR A LAUGH NATAL CURRY CONTEST Judge #3 was an inexperienced food critic named Frank, who was visiting from America. Frank: "Recently, I was honoured to be selected as a judge at a Curry Cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Beer Garden when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Natal Indians) that the curry wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted". Here are the scorecard notes from the event: CURRY # 1 - SEELAN'S MANIAC MONSTER TOMATO CURRY... Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 -- Nice smooth tomato flavour. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) -what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These people are crazy. CURRY #2 - PHOENIX BBQ CHICKEN CURRY... Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of chicken. Slight chilli tang. Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavour, needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich manoeuvre! They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. CURRY # 3 - SHAMILA'S FAMOUS "BURN DOWN THE GARAGE" CURRY... Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse curry. Great kick. Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of chilli peppers. Judge # 3 -- Call 911. I've located a uranium pill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drain Cleaner. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting sozzled from all the beer. CURRY # 4 - BABOO'S BLACK MAGIC BEAN CURRY... Judge # 1 -- Black bean curry with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a curry. Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Shareen, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 200kg woman is starting to look HOT...just like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chilli an aphrodisiac? CURRY # 5 LALL'S LEGAL LIP REMOVER... Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong curry. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 -- Average beef curry, could use more tomato. Must admit the chilli peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chilli had given me brain damage. Shareen saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on to it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. The other judges asked me to stop screaming. CURRY # 6 - VERISHNEE'S VEGETARIAN VARIETY... Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety curry. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb. Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulphuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except Shareen. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my body with a snow cone ice-cream. CURRY # 7 - SELINA'S "MOTHER-IN-LAW'S-TONGUE" CURRY... Judge # 1 -- A mediocre curry with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chilli peppers at the last moment. (I should take note at this stage that I am worried about Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably). Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with curry which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least, during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing- it's too painful. If I need air I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. CURRY # 8 - NAIDOO'S TOENAIL CURLING CURRY... Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending. This is a nice blend curry. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced curry. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the curry pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor man, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot curry? Please share the Clarion with your partner in Rotary Have a great day.