XXXXXXX PRODUCTIONS

TITLE: ENTELECHY                                  SUBMTD BY: Brad Butler
                                                  PHONE: 323-461-3921
AUTHOR: Geoffrey Holland

FORM/PGS: 396 p. novel                            SUBMTD TO:

GENRE: Science Fiction/Adventure                  DATE:

CIRCA: Present                                    READ BY: Maxine Jordan

LOCALE: Montana, Wash. DC (Minnesota, Atlanta, Africa – briefly).

LOGLINE: When it’s discovered a man’s DNA is of alien origin, his life is turned
upside down as the government, the media and a mysterious community all vie for him.

                                   EXCLNT        GOOD           FAIR          POOR
PREMISE                            XXX
CHARACTERS                         XXX-----------XXX
DIALOGUE                                         XXX
STRUCTURE                          XXX
SETTING                                          XXX
WRITING                            XXX-----------XXX

ENTELECHY/Holland                                                                            2


       Newborn infant ERIK is deposited on the doorstep of childless couple ED and

ANNA MOSS in the midst of a radiant light. Three decades later, Erik, a Peace Corps

worker, is thrown out of Africa for leading a protest against CluTek’s strip-mining there.

In Atlanta, Erik works as a bicycle courier while studying law. When a truck hits him,

DR. REBECCA FABOR discovers he has dextrorotatory blood chemistry – although

every other living thing on earth has levorotatory biochemistry. Fabor asks DR. SINGH

for a second opinion. Singh breaks his promise of confidentiality to inform the National

Institute of Health (NIH) an alien species has been discovered on earth.

       The NIH notifies COL. RICH DELL (40s) about Erik. Dell has his men sedate

and transfer Erik to a military facility for observation. A strange oak tree-shaped

birthmark on his hand is studied. Fabor finds out Erik has been kidnapped and goes into

hiding for her own safety. Ed and Anna are taken in and interrogated. COL.

BLUMBERG and his medical team test and question Erik relentlessly as Dell secretly

watches. Erik is finally told the truth, including that he was adopted, but insists he’s

human and nothing more. Dell briefs PRESIDENT JAMES WILLENSON and his

advisors and is ordered to continue his investigation but keep it secret. Fabor goes to

NBC reporters JAIME SCHELL and CYNTHIA WAYLON with her story and they

scramble to put it on air. Dell learns of the upcoming broadcast and has Erik’s TV cut off.

A public clamor for access to Erik is raised by the story.

       In Montana, DR. KAREN CHIANG (30) tells the other 200 people that live with

her at the Lodestar Ranch commune the news about Erik. They all recognize Erik’s

birthmark as an exact replica of the sacred oak tree at the center of their ranch. A tense
ENTELECHY/Holland                                                                               3

Presidential meeting concludes with the decision to keep Erik under quarantine without

admitting or denying his status as an alien. Hollywood agent HOSMER BLATTY (50s)

decides Erik is the answer to his flagging career and makes a deal with Erik’s parents: if

he gets Erik released, Erik signs with him. Hos gets a judge to order the release. Erik is

freed but covert military teams watch his every move. He returns to his parents’ home in

St. Paul but finds himself imprisoned there too because of the media and mobs outside.

       Karen runs the specialized blood tests and learns everyone at the ranch shares the

same biochemistry as Erik. After the media airs a misconstrued story about Erik’s

trouble-making behavior in Africa, he decides to set the story straight. He invites

zoologist DR. MOLOKE to join him in a press conference to discuss the ecological

disaster CluTek is perpetrating in Africa. While Moloke speaks, Erik zeroes in on Karen

in the crowd and realizes they can sense each other’s thoughts. They slip around to the

back of the house to meet and she explains that her community shares his DNA. Intrigued

and attracted by her, Erik agrees to come visit the others at the ranch.

       JERRY CLUETT, high tech billionaire and owner of CluTek, sees Erik

denouncing him on the news and arrives to confront him. Erik presses Cluett to stop the

mining. Thinking a union with Erik might prove useful, Cluett demands proof first: a

demonstration of his special alien abilities.

       Erik sneaks out of the house to meet Karen and is followed to the ranch by Dell’s

operatives. There, he learns a series of startling discoveries: his birthmark is an exact

duplicate of the oak tree the ranch is built around; they all share Entelechy, the ability to

sense and communicate each other’s thoughts and feelings; the community is a model

utopia of ethnic and ecological harmony. They tell him they history of the ranch, how, 50
ENTELECHY/Holland                                                                           4

years ago, the oak tree manifested within hours from a blazing light and they or their

parents were all drawn to live near it. Eric is startled and apprehensive when they tell him

they’ve been waiting for his coming ever since.

       CluTek’s stock drops so Cluett decides to ignore Erik’s warnings and finish his

mining in Africa. He orders two monster bulldozers to accelerate the process. As Dell’s

men watch Erik work in the fields they discover a communication beam of an unknown

technology emanating from the top of the oak tree. Dell surrounds the ranch with a

special ops surveillance team and alerts the President and his advisors. Erik and Karen

get to know each other better and become lovers. Cluett’s bulldozers arrive in Africa but

promptly disappear. Just as suddenly, the two rumbling dozers thump into Cluett’s lawn

in front of his child. At the same time, every TV broadcast on earth is taken over by the

image of the oak tree for several hours. In spite of Karen’s protests, Erik considers

leaving the ranch so he won’t endanger the others. Convinced Erik is behind the mystery

of the dozers and television takeover, a converted Cluett closes the mine, replaces his key

employees and holds a press conference to announce his company’s new environmentally

balanced direction. The President and his advisors argue over taking military action.

       The large RAVEN that lives in the oak tree approaches Erik and displays his own

Entelechy ability to communicate to Erik that the raven is from an ancient alien species

and the one behind the altered DNA that enables Entelechy and enhances

communication. He relates how his own species engineered a dangerous virus that

mutated and killed the entire race except for a few who were converted into computerized

host forms and sent out into the universe. The raven watched over human evolution for

millions of years and saw mankind approaching the same crossroads his own race faced
ENTELECHY/Holland                                                                             5

and failed. That’s why he introduced the Entelechy capability in a few chosen ones;

hoping better understanding would foster cooperative versus attack behavior. He urges

Erik to lead mankind down a new path, away from the one of fear and aggression. Erik

shares the message he’s received with the others at the ranch but keeps the raven’s

identity secret, as requested. Hos hires a detective to locate Erik’s whereabouts and

shows up at the ranch. Afraid the media isn’t far behind, Erik decides to leave the ranch

with Hos after the unfolding harvest celebration.

        Further study on the oak’s beam reveals it delivers a signal to a massive hookup

of stealth devices orbiting the earth like a geosynchronous net. The advisors frantically

argue over whether the President should launch a pre-emptive attack. He decides to hold

off but has Dell assemble a large strike force near the ranch. World leaders gather at the

White House for an Economic Summit Gala. The detective sells his info to the media and

they all head for the ranch. The FBI discovers it and detains them all. The President gives

in to pressure from his advisors and orders the military to surround the ranch. The

celebration at the ranch stops when a radiant light begins to flow outward from the oak

tree and encloses the ranch in an incandescent dome.

       The ranch situation is broadcast on TV sets around the world. The soldiers

descending on the ranch are immobilized when they enter the light. Panic ensues and a

futile attack on the tree is launched. Dell’s helicopter is struck by shrapnel from his own

forces and begins to fall. The light flows out to lower him safely to the ground. The

President orders the military to stand down. The light retreats and the frozen soldiers

awaken. On TV sets around the world, Erik speaks about mankind’s new path. Erik offers

Dell his hand and invites him in to talk. Dell accepts on the President’s behalf.
ENTELECHY/Holland                                                                           6


This novel, about the mystery that springs from the discovery that a young man’s DNA is
not of this world, is on the cutting edge of the enigmatic stories that are fascinating
today’s audiences. The author has done a fine job in delivering an active and easily
adaptable novel with depth. It has that unique perspective that makes Dean Koontz’s
works such worldwide megahits as well as the technical know-how relished in a Tom
Clancy novel. A collection of pluses, the material is definitely worth consideration.

The plot spools out in contrasting arenas that offer color in both locale and character and
is laced with an undercurrent theme based on today’s headlines. Although there are brief
scenes elsewhere, most of the action takes place on the expanses of Montana and within
the walls of the White House. The intriguing story follows Eric Moss’s experiences from
unwanted celebrity, when he’s branded an embedded alien, to being kidnapped and
studied by the government, and then finding refuge in an enclave of others like him.
There, with others who share his strange DNA and powers of communication, the
conundrum unfolds in an extraordinary blend that combines both science fiction and
Americana shamanism. It concludes in a whopping finale that’s like a rousing reversal of
INDEPENDENCE DAY. There’s plenty of material to structure an involving plot from
and could work on several levels: it has feature, miniseries, even series potential.

Erik is an appealing protagonist, bearing some of the Christic elements seen in enduring
characters such as Superman and Luke Skywalker. He is the seemingly ordinary, likeable
everyman thrust into extraordinary circumstances where he actually finds the answer to
the question all humans ask: why am I here? He does it with innocence and intelligence
and a newfound inner strength that is completely winning. As his nemesis, Col. Rich Dell
is a rare find in antagonists. No black-and-white bad guy here but a man deep into the
gray zone who even arcs in the process from pragmatic soldier to newly aware emissary.
There are various other players in this scenario, all crafted deftly, who offer possibilities
for some delightful cameos (the President and agent for example).

The use of Entelechy (“intelec-key”), a term in vitalist philosophy describing a force that
directs life and growth, is the unusual linchpin for this tale but an engrossing story idea
by itself is like a one-legged table lacking balance. Without good characterization,
accessible dialogue and plausible action to match, it just won’t hold. Fortunately, Holland
skillfully delivers all these elements in this novel and has succeeded in creating an
emotional and thought-provoking work. Those who flock around the water cooler to
decipher and debate LOST and THE 4400 would no doubt do so with this as well.

ENTELECHY/Holland                                                                              7

                               MAIN CHARACTERS

ERIK MOSS (33): A highly intelligent man with a quick wit and a passion for making a
difference in the world. After having spent much of his formative years wandering the
globe as a loner, he is thrust into the unsettling public role of extraterrestrial alien. He
struggles against first being a prisoner and then a fugitive to search for answers and
finally embraces the life he was born for.

ARMY COLONEL RICHARD DELL (40s): A disciplined career military man and
former linebacker for West Point. Self-assured, cocky, with a driving ambition and
looking for a way to get his career back on the fast track after a mishap in Bolivia. Torn
between his traditional training and his gut feeling that Erik means no harm.

DR. KAREN CHIANG (30): The daughter of an Asian father and Caucasian mother,
some of the original settlers of a community that houses a couple hundred people with the
same alien DNA as Erik. Karen serves as their doctor and their emissary when she goes
after Erik – the leader they’ve all been waiting for and she falls in love with.

PRESIDENT JAMES WILLENSON (62): A conservative president in his first term with
a casual manner and folksy sense of humor. Although it’s in his nature to be a good old
boy, he sways like a tree in the wind when his polar advisors, Secretary of State Monroe
and Admiral Jarvis, play war games for real.

HOSMER BLATTY (50s): Eccentric Hollywood agent. A combination pit bull and
ponytailed peacock who oozes self-importance and has seen his fair share of cosmetic
procedures. Rich but a Hollywood has-been and hungry to be back on top again.

To top