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Guide for Couples Planning to be Married


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									Guide for Couples Planning to be Married

at The People’s Church of Dover
United Church of Christ

46 South Bradford Street Dover, Delaware 19904 302-674-4177

Fees and Costs
There are many people involved in providing you the service of a beautiful and meaningful wedding. You should designate someone in the wedding party to deliver the fees and donations to the pastor on the night of the rehearsal. ITEM 1. The People's Church of Dover Building Usage (for utilities & upkeep) Sanctuary Chapel Dining Room 2. Rev. Dan Griggs Pastor’s Honorarium
(for counseling, rehearsal and wedding)



$ 0 $ 0 $ 0 (your discretion)

$ 750.00 $ 150.00 if used $ 150.00 if used $ 250.00

3. Mr. Philip Betts Organist 4. Mrs. Phyllis Tarburton Wedding Coordinator

$ 100.00 $ 65.00

$ 125.00 $ 100.00

5. Mr. Henry LaSalle Custodian Sanctuary $ 50.00 as Dining Room Coordinator -- $ 15.00 per hour 6. The People's Church of Dover Printing programs $ 20.00

$ 100.00

$ 50.00

(if asked to do programs: does not include the price of bulletins)

Pastor’s Discretion: Non-member weddings will only be performed if both the bride and groom agree to the fees, to counseling, and to a Christian marriage. It is at the pastor’s discretion whether to accept or refuse a non-member wedding. Four pre-marriage counseling sessions with the pastor are required. These will cover: 1) planning, 2) the meaning of a church wedding, 3) the vows and the covenant, and 4) communication.

The Wedding Service at People’s Church
By asking our pastor to perform the ceremony you are requesting a religious service. You are basically saying, “We wish to take our vows before God and our friends and thus announce our love and union to the world. May God bless us, and may the church of Jesus Christ seal the union.”

Because a church wedding is a worship service, the liturgy shall be that of a worship service such as “The Order of Worship for Marriage” in the Book of Worship of the United Church of Christ, or as directed by the church’s pastor.

Schedules and Communication
In order to avoid the embarrassment of announcing your wedding date only to find either the pastor or the church unavailable, you should consult with the pastor or the church's wedding consultant before publicly announcing the date and time for your wedding. When you contact the pastor, you will arrange for you and your fiancé to meet with him. Both the church and the pastor have a standing rule that couples married in People's Church will have four pre-marriage counseling sessions with the pastor. These conversations should be held well before the wedding date. It is expected that our pastor will officiate at all weddings at People’s Church. If you wish another minister to assist, the proper procedure is to inform our pastor, and our pastor will invite him/her. This procedure complies with both etiquette and ministerial ethics.

Decorating the Church
Wedding Coordinator The church has a Wedding Coordinator, Mrs. Tarburton, who will assist you in planning, decorating, photography placement, coordination and access to the church. Flowers: You may select a florist of your choice. If the family wants to provide and arrange the flowers, you may do so. However, since the altar symbolizes the presence of God, any flowers placed on the altar should enhance its simple beauty and not dominate it. The altar candles should be visible, and so only one floral arrangement is permitted on the altar. Other flowers need to be placed in other parts of the nave. Candles: With candles and other decorations, please be careful to avoid any damage to the furnishings of the church. The two altar candles are provided by the church. Two black wrought iron candelabra are available for your use, but you must provide the (14) candles and other decorations for them. Dripless candles are required. Aisle Runner: The church does not provide the “crash.” You may purchase a disposable aisle runner from your florist, if you want one. The fabric runner is superior to the plastic one. It needs to be 100 feet long. No Tape or Other Adhesive may be applied to the pews, walls, windows or furnishings. Bows attached to pews should be held by ribbon or cord.

Rehearsal and Ceremony
You will need to schedule a rehearsal if others are participating in the ceremony. Since the wedding is a worship service, the pastor is in charge of the rehearsal for it. To avoid discomfort or indecision, the couple should make all the decisions about the ceremony in the pre-wedding conferences, before the rehearsal. The wedding service ritual is similar in all Protestant churches. It includes several elements which are at the discretion of the couple. Please consult the pastor regarding the variable elements of the service.

Wedding Programs
If you wish, the church office can print a wedding bulletin. The cost may vary depending on your selection of the cover. All details and information for the bulletin are handled by the church’s Administrative Assistant, Mrs. Hotchkiss. You should make these arrangements at least two weeks before the wedding. See the list of fees.

All music at People’s Church is under the direction of the Choir Director and the Organist. Unless the church organist is unavailable, he will be expected to play for all church weddings for which music is desired. However, if you prefer to include a guest musician for a part of the service, arrangements must be made with our organist before such a person is permitted to participate. Since the wedding ceremony is a religious service, not a secular gathering, all music shall be approved by the pastor or the organist so that the selections will be appropriate for a Christian ceremony. You may select a soloist of your choice. If you want to have a soloist but do not know whom to ask, the organist or the pastor will be able to help you find one. Arrangements must be made with the organist for rehearsal times for the soloist.

Flash pictures may be taken during the processional and recessional, but not at any time during the worship service itself. If you want photographs of the wedding party at the front of the chancel, the party may re-pose them after the wedding. Professional photographers may set up flash equipment in the Bride's Room if pictures are desired before the service. Video tapes may be made during the service as long as no additional lighting is used. We ask that video equipment be set up in the balcony so that it will not be in anyone’s way. Not cameras of any kind are permitted in the chancel area during the service.

Your Marriage License
The pastor will not perform the wedding without a valid Delaware Marriage License in hand before the service. To avoid unnecessary embarrassment, please bring the license to the rehearsal and give it to the pastor. You may also give him the rings and candles at this time. The license must be used within 28 days. In Kent County, you may call 744-2346 for specific information about the state’s requirements for your license. The State of Delaware requires the signatures of two witnesses on the Marriage License. Any two adults may sign. If you want particular friends to sign please tell the pastor, otherwise he will have the maid of honor and the best man sign as witnesses.

Contact Numbers
People’s Church Admin. Assist. Mrs. Hotchkiss Rev. Griggs Pastor Mr. Betts Organist 302-674-4177 302-674-3423 (fax) 302-674-5454 (home) 302-678-8659



Mrs. Tarburton Wedding Consultant Mr. LaSalle Custodian -


through the church office

The Pre-Marriage Counseling Requirement
All couples who are to be married at The People's Church of Dover are required to have four premarriage counseling sessions with the pastor. This is an explanation of these sessions. Each session lasts about one hour. You schedule each session individually to fit everyone's calendar. Both the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be participate in all four sessions together. Rev. Griggs will not say or do anything to embarrass you: these are adult conversations about marriage. Session One: The Ceremony In the first conversation you will provide some basic information and make some decisions about the ceremony itself. You will go through the marriage ceremony and have several opportunities to chose various options—for example, whether or not you want to kneel or stand for the final prayer; whether you want the two mothers to light candles on the altar as they are escorted to their seats. You will also have an opportunity to tour the parts of the church which you will be using—the church, the bride's room, etc. You will have many opportunities to ask questions and make special requests. Session Two: "Why Get Married in Church?" The second session is about the meaning of a church wedding: what is different about being married in a church, and the foundations of the church's teachings about marriage. Session Three: The Vows and the Covenant of Marriage The third session has two parts. In the first few minutes you will review the traditional marriage vows and talk about your understanding of what they mean. In the second part of the hour you will share with each other a review of where you came from and how you came to be the person you are; and then we will discuss how your two personal histories affect the nature of your relationship as a married couple. Most couples find this session to be the most interesting of the four. Session Four: Communication The fourth session is a simple, straightforward review of good communication and how to improve your communication skills. At the end of this session you will also review a general inventory on human sexuality—nothing "heavy."

rev. 9.2008

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