The Reader s Doglist Tat Catalogue by pengxiang


									In this edition:          eader’s
                              Doglist                      The nation’s favourite Tat Catalogue!

                                                               100's of Special Offers Inside!

                     Has the Chancellor of the ExCzecher left you feeling poorer after the Bodget?
                     Well fear not - here are some exciting shopping options brought to you by the
                     Reader's Doglist Association Of Great Britain!
                     We're proud to announce that we're offering you a whole range of items you
                     never realised you couldn't do without!
                     For example:-


                      With every purchase
                      over £49.98 receive
                       these British Made
                      genuine top quality
                        household bricks
                        Absolutely free!         The NOBBY complete Tat Storage Unit
                       Thousands of uses!          Sold in this catalogue for only £49.98!

                    Dear Friend,
                    As a reader and definite customer of tat, let us welcome you to this very worthwhile
                    catalogue bursting with things. We know you will be dripping with expectation so
                    turn the page and get shopping!

                   Call 0183-83 83 83 for the last word in Tat supplies.
                      7 days a week (Tuesday to Friday) 24 hour telephone helpline (13:00-17:00).
                            Or order via our SECURE website at
  Everything you need to control fluids!             Don't wait another day to get exploring!                    Never soil your fingers again!                  Why suffer the pain of
                                                                                                                                                                 squashed equipment?

multi-use fluid
collector. Ideal
for bleeding
s o d d i n g
rainwater butts
and bloody
Bognors. Handy
also for collect-
ing pus or
generally plug-
ging nuisance
orifices. Neatly                                                                                            The SNOTTY electronic bogey removal           The CASSOCK sturdy shower seat for
doubles as ear                                      The original WILE WAXCK domestic head drill.
                                                                                                            tool this is one for the ladies! Also pain-   men. Handy cut-away section for comfy
debris collector.                                   Lots of handy attachments. Go as deep as you
                                                    dare! Fun for all the family. Originally developed
                                                                                                            lessly sucks out gunk from your eyeballs.     housing of gentleman's tackle. Classic
Will be a lasting
pleasure.                                           for NASA astronauts. Have a go at trepanning in         Two for the price of one!                     and classy.
                                                    the comfort of your own home!

Code 4217       GAWPER                   £9.98      Code 4288        WILE WAXCK                 £9.98       Code 4203     SNOTTY                £9.98     Code 4273    CASSOCK              £9.98

          What a knockout punch!                          Can't ever find a public lavvy?                              Don't hide your light              We think we have found the answer!
                                                                                                                       under a bushbaby!

                                                                                                                                                          WHOOSHY waterproof pull-on pants in
 LUMMEE hand hole punch punches variable            The world-famous JASPER go-anywhere personal                                                          super quiet vinyl. With the added bonus
 diameter holes straight through your palms!        lavatory. No more fiddly filling of lemonade bottles.   The FRAMMIS stylish rain hat in beautiful     of our patented FOLLOWTHROUGH™
 Cut-out portions of flesh and bone are collected   No spillage. Never ceases to amaze. A boon for          super-clear vinyl. Anatomically designed.     anti skid-mark protection, you'll marvel
 for further use. Perfect in salads!                golfers don't wait for 19th hole to relieve yourself.   Absolute godsend. Teeth extra.                at the quality!

Code 4201       LUMMEE                  £16.98      Code 4202        JASPER                   £29.98        Code 4239     FRAMMIS               £9.98     Code 4291    WHOOSHY              £9.98
      Last call for Carol Ashton!            For thousands of years Oriental doctors    Stop wrestling with your computer and                        Unsightly red lines spoiling
                                               have treated embarrassing itches.         become an internet expert in hours!                          the look of your bunion?

                                               Can't grow your                                                                                  The IMPINGE
                                                                                                                       S n o d d y ™            bunion protector.
                                               own Stop Fungus?
                                                                                                                       Software will            L o - o d o u r. H i -
                                               Get it in a bottle!
                                               It's as simple as                                                       have you                 comfyness.
                                                                                                                       f i n d i n g            Know your
                                               that. Apply                                                                                      bunions. Know
                                               liberally. Ask a                                                        pictures like
                                                                                                                                                your Impinge!
                                               friend to help get                                                      this in no time
                                               to the nooks and                                                        from all over
                                               crannies you can                                                        the World
                                               no longer reach                                                         Wide Web !
                    “CAROL ASHTON”             or see. The                                                             No fuss. Do it
                    suitcase strap. A          swelling is normal.
                    must for CAROL                                                                                     all while sitting
                                               Do not panic.
                    A S H T O N s                                                                                      down.
                    everywhere. We have
                    found the answer.

Code 4288       CAROL ASHTON        £9.98   Code 4214     STOP FUNGUS         £9.98    Code 4291        WHOOSHY                    £9.98       Code 4273          IMPINGE                £9.98

  These will be a lasting pleasure!           The world’s best digital music player             SPECTACULAR DOUBLE OFFER ESPECIALLY FOR ALL FAT PEOPLE!!!
                                                           for dogs!
                                                                                        Virtually undetectable, high fashion fat flatteners.   Twelve strong magnets and ceramic micro capsules!
Buy this
bargain                                                                                                                     The magic formule of
double pack!                                                                                                                strategically-placed magnets
The BEIGE                                                                                                                   simply makes all that hideous fat
and the                                                                                                                     disappear!
F L O R A L                                                                                                                 Warning! Take care around
g r a v y                                                                                                                   radiators and large white goods!
soppers.                                                                                                                    Don't become an unwitting
Absorbent                                                                                                                   fridge magnet! Your family will
and hygienic.                                                                                                               have a good chortle but you'll feel
Save your
                                             Introducing the i-WOOF Fido's own                                              a right charlie!
furniture and                                digital music player! Attaches
re-use your                                  unnoticeably to this racy pink collar.
gravy! Swiss-                                Plays 'Dik-a- dum- dum' by Des                                          Dopey Brenda                Look at these ridiculous
made.                                        O'Connor!                                                               Puffs is slim but           individuals is it worth it?
                                                                                                                     stuck to her                Stay slim, stay away
                                                                                                                     washing machine!            from metallic objects!

Code 4261       BEIGE & FLORAL      £9.98   Code 4217     i-WOOF               £9.98   Code 4217                                        FAT Flatteners                         £99.98 for both
                                               Put an end to the arduous task of charging!        You can’t sweep fog under the carpet!       Will everybody be able to handle the surprise
 Ever wished there was an easier way?                                                                                                               when they find you in the Pomfrey?

                                                                                                                         Is fog a problem?
                                                                                                                         It won't be with
                                                                                                                         this Swiss-made
                                                                                                                         plastic tube.        The POMFREY vinyl garden tent uses the same
                                                                                                                                              quality materials as the FRAMMIS stylish rain hat
                                                                                                                                              and the WHOOSHY pull-on pants! SPECIAL OFFER!
                                                                                                                                              Buy all three together and save £49.98! Imagine
WERSCH™ almost silent incontinence           The SWAFFHAM home battery charger with                                                           what your friends and family will say when they find
pants come in hospital-quality super clear   handle.                                                                                          you sitting in your POMFREY wearing just your
                                             Harnessing the power of feet. British technology.                                                FRAMMIS rain hat and your WHOOSHY pull-on
vinyl. Keep it all in but see what                                                                                                            pants!!
                                             Russian engineering. Safe and odourless.
you've done! What coluld be better?

Code 4267    WERSCH               £9.98      Code 4234       SWAFFHAM                £9.98       Code 4205       TUBE                 £9.98   Code 4294        POMFREY                   £49.98

     Do you want our suggestion                 Troubled by awkward fasteners?                               Cheer yourself up with                  So comfortable you’ll forget
    as to where you can put that?                                                                             attractive footwear!                       you have them on!

                                                FOLDS FOR

                                                                                                                                                                                   FOLDS FOR

                                                                                                 Is your cat DEAD? Well, never mind!          The SHOEBURYNESS slip-on moccasin
 The NOBBY complete Tat Storage Unit          The “SNODDY”.                                      Remember Tiddles with these stylish          for men and women. Optional red fluff-
 simply swallows all those useful things      Winning design. Jumbo. Lightweight.                MURIELS emblazoned with the fizzog of        ball (chodlets).
 you've ordered. For men and women.           Delicious fried food in minutes.                   your favourite dead feline!

Code 4277    NOBBY                £49.98     Code 4274       SNODDY                  £9.98       Code 4203       MURIELS              £9.98   Code 4239        SHOEBURYNESS               £9.98
         A must for garden pond                        Troubled by orange spots?                  They said it couldn't be done! Well we'll simply
                                                                                                                                                         Do you speak like a peasant?
           owners everywhere!                                                                        say “pbwllpblblppwbllbwpllb” to them!

British invention!
Hurrah! Attaches                                                                                                                 Banish manky
easily to your                                                                                                                   knees with the
JASPER personal                                                                                                                  F L A N G E
lavatory. Makes                                                                                                                  KNEEPATE.
your pond water
frothy!                                                                                                                          Sturdy. Fully

                                               We've all done it! One too many Mammoth
                                               Cleanser sandwiches and our feet are covered                                                            Get the BUCK HICE language conversion tool.
                                               in orange spots!                                                                                        Slip on these unnoticeable gig-lamps! Resolve
                                               Help is at hand! Order the BOBBY as used by the                                                         awful accents. Your neighbours will say you speak
                                               Metropolitan Police! You know it makes sense.                                                           like the Queen! Particularly effective against the
                                                                                                                                                       worst Brummie or Ulster awfulness.

Code 4294      INVENTION             £9.98     Code 4288       BOBBY                  £9.98      Code 4263 FLANGE KNEEPATE £9.98                     Code 4291         BUCK HICE                    £9.98

Do you have to ask what you’ll use this for?       Why get expensive craftsmen in?                     Ideal if you live near trees!                         Have you got a dull dog?

  Easy to adjust,
  the perfect
  thing for lazy
  s u m m e r
  with the
  g r a n d -
  children. You
  won't stop
                                                The WROSTER revolving seat sweggly for
                                                those with very large bottoms. Powerful                                                                                                FOLDS FOR
                                                motor spins you round if you get stuck in        An end to toenail problems. Clip the                                                   STORAGE
                                                the car. You'll be the talk of the town!         blighters right off with these industrial
                                                                                                 quality and strength, hi-tech miracles….             Have you ever seen SOLAR so LIFE LIKE?

Code 4233      THING                 £9.98     Code 4216       WROSTER               £9.98       Code 4267       HI-TECH                   £9.98     Code 4239 SOLAR £9.98 (per dozen)
    No need to spend a fortune!                 The Red Army can’t be wrong!                 I’ve got fish-waste up my sleeve!           Have you reached that age where
                                                                                                                                               you’ve lost control?
                                                               The Russians are used                                                     Is everything heading
                                                               to a nip in the air in                                                    south? Uncontrollable
                                                               winter. That's why their                                                  dribbling from a variety of
                                                                                                                                         places? Tufts of thick hair

                                                                                           Do you keep wooden
                                               army                                        pets? You sad bastard.
                                               keep                                        You deserve to be ripped
                                                                                           off so you might as well
                                               b i t s
                                                                                           buy this craftsman-made, solid wood
                                               snug                                                                                      erupting? Suffering from rampant legs?
                                                                                           feeding bowl (with handle).
                                               a n d                                                                                     Get them under control with the WIGWAM
                                               warm                                                                                      POULTICE elasticated snoddly.
 GIMPY meet the finest remote control dog!     i     n
 Roll over GIMPY! Beg GIMPY! Do some Do,       these distinctive white pants. No socks
 GIMPY!                                        for Ivan!

Code 4244       GIMPY               £9.98    Code 4239     RUSSIAN PANTS         £9.98    Code 4261     WOOD                   £9.98    Code 4297 WIGWAM POULTICE£9.98

   Want to save a fortune and be               A boon for every home and garden!              Do your feet stink? Are you lazy,               Never be caught out again!
       stylish for summer?                                                                      unfit and underachieving?

                                                                                                                                        Presenting the “SMIBERNOLL” - a dual-
 T h e                                                                                                                                  purpose vessel.
 TWADDLE                                                                                                                                 Fill it with your favourite refreshment
 s h o e                                                                                                                                 drink it then, once processed, direct it
 leather                                                                                                                                 hygienically back into the same
 saver!                                                                                                                                  receptacle! Hours of pleasure
 This sturdy                                                                                                                             guaranteed.
 plastic                                                                                                   FOLDS FOR                     A boon for :-
 pad fits                                                                                                                                ü Anglers
                                                                                           Well, get this gadget!                        ü HGV Drivers
 s n u g l y.                                                                              The “Horrible” athlete's foot tool. Highly                     FOLDS FOR
 TIP! Get                                                                                                                                ü Postmen         STORAGE
                                                                                           abrasive. Troublesome skin easily             ü Travellers
 one for                                                                                   removed. In one week you'll be
 each foot!                                                                                                                              ü Campers
                                                                                           transformed from a slothful couch potato      ü Bloaters
                                              The garden MAVIS clears all the muck         to a sprightly sprinter. Warning! Does not
                                              from your driveway on only one charge!       enhance other body parts!
                                              No unsightly marks.                          And you still won't have any friends.

Code 4233       TWADDLE             £9.98    Code 4213     MAVIS                 £9.98    Code 4236     HORRIBLE               £9.98    Code 4283      SMIBERNOLL          £9.98
      Dou you make a terrible smell                Every household should have                                                        At last! We’ve made it available to you!
         every time you use it?                       a bottle of Shoe Stretch             Bubonic plague in seconds!                            No more waiting...

                                                                                         Before      During       After
   The WHIMBREL odour-absorbent
   lavvy-seat makes your smallest
   room a luxurious haven of comfort!
   A place for blissful relief. Try the
                   finger test yourself.
                   You'll be amazed!
                                               Are your toes six inches
                                               long? No problem!
                                               Stretch your shoes to
                                               fit!                                                                                Space age Russian technology! The
                                                                                                                                   VOLGA (almost) wireless! Simply snap in
                                                                                     The WASTREL cream is easy to apply.           the chunky power cable and be amazed
                                                                                     “Buboes” develop rapidly. Just like the       by the sound*! From a whisper to a roar!
                                                           FOLDS FOR                 real thing!                                   Mono! Muffled! Spare knobs easily fitted.
                                                            STORAGE                                                                *currently Radio Moscow only.

Code 4219     WHIMBREL             £9.98      Code 4234     SHOE STRETCH    £9.98   Code 4227     WASTREL                 £9.98   Code 4253        VOLGA                £49.98

     Didn’t think you’d get to see             Hygienic… quick & easy… you don't       No household should be without...           Sturdy, purpose-designed, non-skid...
      the Red Arrows this year?                   even know you're wearing it!

                                                                                                                                     THICK CUSHION

                                                                                                                                    “Thick” cushion - don't be a chump!
                                                                                                                                    Sorts out your issues with aching
                                              The DOBBIN attachment. For men and                                                    buttocks caused by hard seats. Make
                                                                                    Genuine replica National Health gnashers
                                              women.                                                                                your home a “thick” home!
                                                                                    weld the upper and lower sets together for
 Half a dozen LEAPY LEE red arrows for only
                                                                                    that permanent fixed grin. Gottle o' Geer!

Code 4277     LEAPY LEE              £4.98    Code 4263     DOBBIN          £9.98   Code 4203     GNASHERS                £9.98   Code 4244        THICK CUSHION          £9.98

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