BOB BRINKER, M.A.
PARENT AND COMMUNITY
“Childrearing advice has always been dispensed as if
men and women look at parenting through the same lens
– or with the basic assumption that only mothers would
be listening anyway..…. Parenting advice is really a
euphemism for ‘mothering advice.”
Why Parents Disagree
Dr. Ron Taffel
“If we hope to attract, engage, and retain fathers we
must honor the differences between moms and dads,
acknowledging these differences as just that,
differences without implying that one style of
parenting should be preferred over the other.”
Stronger focus on the
Calmer, relaxed form
Rough and tumble play
Big Picture/down the
Details/here and now
emotions and empathy
Father Friendly Programming
Why – critical to program success
Why – leads to happy, well-adjusted children and
Why – you will more effectively engage fathers and
strengthen families and communities
Why – children are less likely to engage in drugs,
drop out of school, live in poverty,
engage in sexual activity.
Father Friendly Check-Up
National Fatherhood Initiative
1. Leadership development
2. Organizational development
3. Program development
4. Community engagement
Keys to Effective Father
“What I hear, I forget. What
I see, I remember. What I do,
q Dads matter.
q Dads and moms are different
q Children want and need their fathers.
q Fathers come in different situations and
q Father’s role is greatly influenced by culture.
q An absent/noninvolved father does not necessarily.
indicate a lack of love towards his children.
“One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.”
“Like father, like son.”
“You have to dig deep to bury your father.”
“The most important thing a father can do for his
children is to love their mother.”
“Don’t be the man you think you should be. Be the
father you wished you had.”
Letty C. Pogrebin
Barriers to Father
WHAT KEEPS DADS
Roadblocks to Father Involvement
Incarceration Mothers as gatekeepers
§ Personal problems Lack of confidence in
§ Finances parenting skills
§ Distance Children to other
§ Emotional pain expectations
Lack of problems
PAPA’S GOT A
BRAND NEW EXCUSE
A Father’s Job
The Good Father
The Bad Father
Working with Fathers
1. The ability to parent successfully is a learned set of
2. Mothers and fathers parent differently using their
unique gifts that can be referred to as mothering
3. There all universal aspects of fathering that exist in
4. Any father, given a chance, can be a great father
5. The facilitator is critical to the program’s success.
Bob’s Guide for Working with
Honor their Knowledge and Strengths
Dealt with adversity (hear their stories).
Use a strength-based solution-focused model (what’s
Help them know that they are important.
Create a vision (“I have a dream!”).
Support them in their quest.
Celebrate their successes.
Make it Fun and
MEN DISCLOSE AND
SHARE MORE WHILE
It’s More than a
Help Men Heal
HEALING THE FATHER
SATISFYING OUR FATHER
Field of Dreams
“If you build it, he will come!”
“Forgiveness is giving up
your hope for a different
There’s wisdom in the wound.
Sharing Our Wisdom
ParentWISE of FSWP
211 Huff Ave., Suite 1
Greensburg, PA 15601
724-837-5410 ext. 704